Meeting Rainbow Dash and Applejack was a strange experience. Not because they were part of the Elements of Harmony, even though I can imagine that should have been a reason to be anxious. No. The thing that was curious about them, was the fact that when they entered my shop, they were fighting.
"Ah do not!" Applejack shouted as she opened the door and stepped inside, followed closely by a grinning Rainbow Dash.
"Do too!" she smirked at Applejack. "You've been giving him doe eyes all day!"
"Ah most certainly have not!" Applejack hollered back with a blush rising to her face.
"Oh, yeah?" Rainbow Dash's grin turned into a smirk. "Then why's your face so red?" she continued to tease Applejack and started to mimic her voice. "Well, darn officer Cobbler! That's a mighty nice orchard ya have there!"
"Will you give it a break?!" Applejack huffed. "Ah just told him he had a nice garden!"
Rainbow Dash only grinned at her in response. "Sure... you just admired his apples didn't you?"
"Ah, come on!" Applejack groaned. "Are ya really goin' to go there?!"
"Already did it!" Rainbow Dash smirked, undoubtedly ready to continue her teasing; but stopping in her steps when she finally spotted me standing behind the counter. "Oh, hi! Good to see you're up again!" she chuckled. "You gave us quite the scare when you got knocked out!" she walked up to me and extended her hoof. "I'm Rainbow Dash! Nice to meet you!"
I carefully leaned over the counter to reach out and shake her hoof. "I'm Woodchuck."
"Oh, I already know that!" Rainbow Dash grinned at me after retrieving her hoof. "Silver has been talking about you nonstop!"
"She has?" I replied with a raised eyebrow.
"She sure has." Applejack smirked and offered her hoof as well. "I'm Applejack, pleasure to meet ya."
I gave her hoof a tentative squeeze and was surprised at the strength she put into it. "Likewise," I mumbled with slight confusion, "Silver Blossom has been talking about me?"
"Every second she had," Applejack chuckled with a shake of her head. "Course she ain't nowhere as crazy as Twilight. She's been on the run ever since," Applejack frowned, "well, ever since we got thrown in jail."
I cringed, partly because Twilight was apparently throwing fits because of me and partly because of the jail thing. "Yeah... sorry about that. I guess I was partly to blame for that too..."
"Don't sweat it!" Rainbow Dash snorted with amusement. "Because of that little stunt Applejack here got to meet the stallion of her dreams!"
"Will ya stop with that already?!" Applejack groaned. "Ah am not in love with him like a little school filly!" she shook her head at Rainbow Dash before turning back to me. "But Ah am curious. Why didn't ya just come out?"
"Ehh..." I sighed and rubbed the back of my head, "I'm a bit shy, I'm afraid."
"Just shy, eh?" Applejack asked with a frown that told me she didn't believe a word of it.
"Cobbler hasn't been making you do anything bad, has he?" I quickly tried to change the subject from me to them.
"Meh..." Rainbow Dash smirked as she inspected my shelves. "Weather duty and garden maintenance," she chuckled, "Should have seen the judge's face when he gave the verdict! Probably never saw a convict grin before!"
"I can imagine..." I mumbled with a raised eyebrow.
Applejack only shook her head. "For you it may not be that bad, but what's ma family gonna say when they hear of this?"
"Well, Big Mac is probably not going to say much as usual; seeing as he is Big Mac." Rainbow Dash passed her a grin. "And Granny Smith is going to be more than happy when you bring Copper Cobbler back home with you!"
"Oh, for the love of-" Applejack rubbed her brow in frustration. "Will ya give it a rest already?! Ah only told the colt he had a nice garden!"
"Suuure... At least he's nice enough to let us run around after work. Probably 'cause the princess vouched for us," Rainbow Dash grinned as she continued to look over the shelves. "Oh, hey! You've got Barlin Berry Soap?!" she laughed and took one of them. "I used to use this as a filly!"
Fun fact number twenty one; Barlin Berry Soap is the pony equivalent of No More Tears shampoo. Crazy smell of berries, bright color, very bubbly and highly popular with kids... or in this case, fillies and foals.
Applejack only shook her head with a sigh. "Darn mare's got her head full of floozies," she turned back to me, "but it's a nice shop ya got here."
"Thanks," I nodded, "Took a lot of work to get it."
"Ah can imagine," she chuckled, "been thinking about setting up a real store myself but a store just runnin' on apples won't do too well, Ah fear." She looked over the shelves behind me. "Tomme's Canned Tomatoes... Peal's Pickled Beets," she tilted her head, "Pinflocket Cider?"
"Uhm, yeah..." I carefully reached up and took one of the bottles from the shelves. "Big brewery from Trottingham," I showed her the label on the bottle. "Mass production; not the best but at a good price and always in stock."
"I see..." Applejack rubbed her chin. "Ya know we also produce cider back on the farm in Ponyville," she shook her head, "sadly not 'nough to send it around. Though I bet it tastes better than mass production."
"Don't have to bet on that!" Rainbow Dash poked her head up from between the shelves. "I already tasted the stuff and it tastes nowhere as good as your cider," she turned her attention to me. "You got Caern Molt Powder?"
"Second isle, upper shelf," I replied after a quick check of my memory.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Why? You startin' to molt at this time of year?"
"Nah," Rainbow Dash grinned, "but you can't get lazy on your feathers if you want top performance... and I kind of forgot mine back home."
Fun fact number twenty five; pegasi molt. Just like birds they regularly have to renew their feathers. The whole process comes in surges, replacing particular sets of feathers at a time so that pegasi can remain capable of flight during the process, even if not as well. Caern Molt Powder not only reduced the itch that results, but it also spurs the growth of the new feathers.
Fun fact number twenty six; rumors have it that pegasi in Manehattan use it without an actual need to grow especially large feathers. Seems its some kind of fashion statement. Manehattan has since seen an increase in flight-accident related injuries.
Applejack only shook her head and turned back to me with a small frown. "Ya know... I imagine all of this is pretty strange for you."
"Well," I sighed, "it definitely wasn't something I had planned on."
"Ah, don't worry," Applejack chuckled, "I'm sure tha-"
"Woody?" the door to the kitchen was opened from the inside and Silver Blossom poked her head inside the store, the smell of cooking vegetables filling the room. "Rarity says that-" she spotted Applejack and grinned, "AJ! You made it!"
"Sure did, Silver Blossom," Applejack smiled, "How's dinner coming along?"
"Almost ready!" Silver Blossom smiled before tilting her head. "Where's Dash?"
"Over here, Silver!" Rainbow Dash flapped her wings to hover slightly above the shelves. "Twilight should be here any minute too!"
Oh, how that name made me shiver.
"You're almost ready?" I turned to Silver Blossom. "Do you need help with anything?"
"Well, we could use some more chairs," Silver Blossom answered, "and more forks and spoons."
"Okay," I nodded, "I'll go get some from the cellar. You can start setting everything else up, I'll bring the rest up in a moment."
So while Rainbow Dash and Applejack joined Silver Blossom and the others in the kitchen, I headed downstairs into my cellar. It's not that much of a cellar really; a small door under the staircase and a narrow set of stairs leading into a room stuffed full with crates, old furniture and anything else I needed to store for my shop or thought I would need in the future.
But as with all cellars, try as I might to keep things orderly it was still a bit of a mess; not because I didn't order things but simply because of the sheer amount of stuff I had stored in the place. So once I had made it down the stairs and hung the lamp onto the ceiling I started to search; moving crates out of the way, pulling blankets aside and generally trying not to suffocate from the dust.
The first thing I found was an old set of silverware. Normally store inventory but since it had been lying down here collecting dust all this time I figured it wasn't very likely to get sold anyway so I stuffed it into the pockets of my apron.
"Might as well," I mumbled to myself and continued my search.
The chairs were the next thing I spotted. Simple chairs made of wood, stacked into a small tower and as to why I even got them; I have absolutely no idea. I got a few guests from time to time, but they never stayed longer than for a cup of tea or the occasional small talk. I sighed and shook my head; at least they'd find use now.
So I climbed over the first box in the way, pushed aside an old rake, lifted another box to the side and- changeling. Right there, in my cellar, hiding behind the crates and boxes; a changeling.
Considering my recent interactions and experiences with changelings at the time, I still think that my reaction was at least somewhat composed.
"Wahh!" I gave a shout and jumped back, dropping the crate in a crash of cans and breaking wood.
"Aahh!" the changeling gave off an equally terrified scream and backed away from me while I made a jump for the rake and pointed it straight at it like a spear.
Thinking back, this was likely one of the most ridiculous scenes in my life. Me, screaming and pointing an old rake at a changeling screaming just as loud as me.
"Aahh!" I brought the rake around in wild swing, knocking over cans and throwing up dust as the changeling scrambled for cover.
"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!" the changeling jumped behind another large box. "It's not what it looks like!"
"Not what it looks like?!" I shouted and swung my rake again, me and the changeling circling the box as he ducked my swings. "You're a changeling hiding in my cellar! How can that be misunderstood?!"
"It's not my fault!" he wailed at me and skidded behind another box. "Stop trying to kill me!"
"Stop trying to kidnap me!" I shouted back and fell over another box, cans rolling in all directions as I got up again. "I just got back home, for crying out loud!"
"I'm not here to kidnap you!" the changeling scrambled away from me but tripped over a can of Lompire Hay Soup. "Please!" he held up his hooves above him to protect himself. "Don't kill me!"
I stared at him for a moment, rake held up out in front of me and breathing heavily as he continued to protect his head. "You're hiding in my cellar!"
"I know!" he wailed back at me.
"Why?!"
"Because I got left behind!"
"Can't you just go back?!"
"No!"
"Why not?!"
"Cause I don't want to!"
"What?!" I gave him a crazed frown. "You can't stay here!" I shook my head as I realized the two of us were still shouting and lowered my voice a bit, still keeping my rake between the two of us. "What do you mean you got left behind?"
The changeling cringed. "I was supposed to be help the other guy to pose as you... but when Celestia started screaming the place together I hid down here and-" he gave me a pleading look. "Please let me stay... I don't want to go back."
"Stay here?! Are you insane?! I've already got an alicorn occupying my house and now a changeling in my cellar?!" I spotted several open cans in one of the corners. "Are you- Have you been eating my stocks?!"
"I'm sorry!" he held up his hooves again, "I got hungry!"
"You're a changeling! Why would you eat normal food?!"
"I got bored!" he saw my bewildered look. "I'll work it off, I swear!"
"Work it off?!" I shook my rake at him. "How's that supposed to work?!"
The changeling closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, and much to my surprise I saw him change into a brown colt with a beige mane.
"See?!" he gave me a hopeful look. "No one will ever know!"
"Are you kidding me?! How would I even explain that to princess Luna?!"
"Just tell her I'm the help!" the changeling continued to beg with me. "Look, the other guy was an idiot, okay?! It's no wonder he got caught but I'm a professional! They'll never notice! Just let me stay, please!"
I stared at him with an open mouth and a feeling of despair. "Can't you just go back to your hive and we pretend this never happened?"
"Anything but that!" he shook his head with terror. "Can you even imagine what it's like to live there?! What she's going to do with me for failing?!" he wailed. "And she's always screaming! Always screaming! The dumber drones don't mind but I can't take it anymore! So pleeease?!"
"How are you even going to feed yourself?!" I continued. "It's not like you can just suck my customers out!"
"We don't actually suck..." he mumbled before noticing my growing frown. "Look, there's enough emotions coming from your customers and," he cringed, "guests to keep me going. I can stay here in the cellar, it's nice and dark and no one will notice. I'll work for free but please, just let me stay!"
Lost in confusion and still bewildered, I continued to stare at him; still holding the rake and still breathing heavily. Finally, I dropped the rake and sat down on one of the crates with a groan. "This is a madhouse!"
"Sorry," the changeling cringed again, "and for the whole kidnap... thing. Really sorry about that."
"Uhuh..." I sighed and rubbed my face.
"So..." he carefully asked, "does that mean I can stay?"
I only responded by letting out another groan and burying my face in my hands. "What is my life turning into?!" I quietly sobbed.
"Sorry..." he paused for a moment and carefully continued, "I'm Vex."
"I'm Woodchuck," I groaned under my breath, "just, Woodchuck."