Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn

by Kaidan


8. Iron Pony

My hooves dangled off the edge of the bench as I laid on my back. It was a great day to work on my tan, despite the fact I couldn’t really tan anymore. It felt good to let it all hang out as the sun warmed up my belly.

There was a pony I hadn’t seen before on the bench across from me. He had very similar colors to mine and hadn’t said a word. He was my only companion as we took our naps in the middle of the park.

I turned to look at him and tried to see what his cutie mark was. They provided a great way to remember pony names as they were often related.

“That’s L. We never caught his real name, he’s too lazy to finish telling us it,” a pony in a trenchcoat said.

The new voice was coming from the side of the bench. I was perfectly comfortable and didn’t bother to cover myself up. When I tilted my head back to look at them, they appeared upside down. I saw a pony wearing dark sunglasses, a fedora, and a trenchcoat. In fact, the pink fur of their face and some blonde hair was all I could see.

“Can I help you?” I asked out of politeness. This was my bench, after all.

“Oh, I was just watching you.”

“Well, miss? Can I help you?”

The pony coughed harshly, and lowered her voice. “What? I’m not a mare, I’m a stallion!”

“Sure you are.” I sighed loudly and sat up on the bench, gesturing next to me. “I guess you wanted to sit down?”

“Well, I just, you know, thought we’d chat.”

Once she, or “he”, sat down next to me I offered them my hoof. “I’m Dawn.”

“I’m Denial.”

“Isn’t that a river in Africa?” I joked.

“Heh, guess so.” Denial inched away from me a little bit.

“Wait, how do you know about the Nile? Nopony should know about that.”

The pony chuckled and looked at me, shaking her head. “Nah, you’re dreaming again. I just thought you’d enjoy the company of another stallion.”

I pointed to the other bench. “I was with another—wait, where’d he go?” The lazy pony on the other bench was gone now. Me and Denial were now the only two ponies in the park, and nopony seemed to be walking along the dirt paths. “Oh, well I guess I am dreaming then. You’re the first, I mean second, ‘stallion’ I’ve met in my dreams.”

“Hmph, damn straight I’m a stallion. Mares are stupid.”

“I’m guessing you and Desire aren’t pal—”

“No!” Denial blurted.

“Did somepony call?” Desire said.

“Ugh, you just had to say it,” Denial quipped.

“What?” I shrugged my shoulders. On the bench across the dirt path from me sat Desire, her blue hair sparkling in the sunlight. Her fur looked as soft and pink as a peach.

“Dawn ol’ buddy, how’s it going?” Desire said. She smiled widely and waved her hooves around like a mad pony. “You like what I did with the place? It’s been so confining since you let me out to play a few days ago. What was that stuff? I really liked it!”

Looking at Denial, I noticed she seemed a bit out of sorts, glancing everywhere but at the two of us. I would have been more concerned about her feelings, but this was my psyche and I wasn’t the one wearing a trenchcoat.

“Hey, Desire. Yeah, you know I missed you too… the way you presented me in front of Big Mac? Classic.” I rolled my eyes as the last of the cynicism dripped off my voice like honey.

“Oh boy was it! Did you see how well hung he was? Just tell me how to get some more of that flower and we’ll do it again. You know you want to!” Desire jumped off the bench and ran over to me, holding out a bouquet of flowers.

“You flatter me,” I quipped.

“You ate so many flowers that day, which one was it that let me out to play? Please tell me!”

“It was the one I’m not eating again. I mean, maybe if I’m drunk and horny and Lyra wants to stick that lovely horn in my—” I groaned and pushed Desire back. Just having her near me was making it hard to think clearly.

“Oh, Lyra did seem lovely,” a pink mare said. Unlike Desire, this pony’s whole body was a uniform shade of pink.

“Have we met?” I asked. This was getting too crowded for my liking.

“I’m Love, Amore, uh… Liebe!” she said.

I rest my head in my hooves, sighing. If I was lucky this would be one of those dreams I forgot. “And why do they call you that?”

“I dunno, Desire says I’m a hopeless romantic.”

“Nopony wants foreplay! The whole point is the action!” Desire argued.

“But what about Fluttershy? She’s so nice and while you’re trying to get Dawn laid, he’s dating the wrong pony!” Love walked over and nudged me. “Lyra’s nice and all but what about Fluttershy? If you can control Desire here, you can turn into a mare and date her!”

“Hah! Mares are lame. You should stay a stallion,” Denial said as she crossed her hooves.

“Who pissed on your tampon, Denial?” Desire hit her in the shoulder with a hoof.

“I’m just saying, Fluttershy is more awesome than Lyra.” Love pushed past the others, crowding in on me as if proximity to me would make them more persuasive..

“Awesome? Dash is awesome! Fluttershy’s just like,” Iris waved her hooves around as she hovered in mid air. “Twenty percent less awesome than Dash!”

The ponies now surrounded me, making me feel a bit claustrophobic. Denial on my right, Desire on my left, Love prodding me to get my attention, and Iris, showing off as she hovered in mid-air with only one wing.

“Anypony else we’re forgetting?” I asked. “I want to make sure all of my split personalities are here when I tell you all to buzz off.”

“Pfft, come on, Dawn, we’ll go practice some stunts. You’re too cool for these losers anyway,” Iris stated. “Then we can change you into something a little more ‘aerodynamic’ in time for the Iron Pony!”

“Forget that, we need to pay Big Mac a visit!” Desire argued.

“No! Fluttershy would be crushed if you went sleeping around,” Love countered.

“Enough!” I shouted, slamming a hoof on the park bench. I blinked once and all the ponies were gone.

Across the dirt path, L was back and taking a nap. Looking around there was no other pony in sight. A few birds had taken a perch on a nearby tree and chirped, otherwise the park was deserted.

“Well, that’s a handy trick. I just don’t know why you’re still here.”

L’s chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath and stretched.

“At least you don’t talk much. You could teach the rest of my insane alter-ego’s a thing or to.”

“Nah.”

I raised an eyebrow, unsure if he’d just spoken. After watching him for a minute I laid down to fall back asleep. Maybe if I fell asleep in a dream I’d wake up in real life.

Beneath the bench I saw some yellow fur and leaned my head over the end. A pony was hiding underneath and jumped when we made eye contact. “Gah!”

The yellow pony with blue hair rolled out from under the bench. “I’m so sorry… I was just um… eavesdropping a teeny bit and didn’t want you to zap me away too!”

“It’s okay, you’re not badgering me like those others. I’m Dawn.”

“I know,” she said.

I waited for a moment, clearing my throat. “And you are?”

“Oh.” She shrank back a bit as she whispered “Heart.”

“Well, nice to meet you. Are you here to cast a vote on my gender too?”

“No, I couldn’t possibly impose like that… I just wanted to make sure the others weren’t bothering you but I couldn’t bring myself to be mean and ask them to stop.”

I ignored her and rolled onto my back, staring up at the clouds. They were currently forming the shape of a monkey on a trampoline, with a particularly large cumulus cloud forming the trampoline.

“So, any idea when I wake up? I seem to recall having a guest over,” I said.

“No, but I was so happy you made a friend! I know it’s hard as a stallion in a matriarchal society. You’re very brave,” Heart observed.

“Thanks, I think…”

Heart’s eyes darted around as she crawled out from under the bench. “Oh, you’re very welcome. I hope you have a good day.”

I yawned and stretched out on the bench, feeling quite tired. “Yeah.” I closed my eyes for a minute.


I felt something tugging at my forelegs, pinching them slightly. My eyes blinked a few times, clearing some crust from the eyelids. Upon trying to roll over, I felt a weight upon my chest. As my senses returned, I noticed the mint-green mane flowing across my mouth, and coughed as it started to tickle my muzzle.

Lyra moaned and shifted her weight, sliding down my side to the bed without waking. I noticed a trail of drool from her mouth to my chest, and the sudden cold air as her warm body slid off. She had made an excellent blanket, among other things, last night.

However, given our late night activities, I had the slight problem of being cuffed to the bed and unable to get loose to use the restroom.

“Lyra?” I whispered in her ear. She needed to wake up so I could make my way towards the first day of the Iron Pony competition. If she didn’t, Dash might waltz in to check on me, and I’d never hear the end of it.



“Lyra, hey, wake up,” I pleaded.

“Five more minutes.”

Sighing, I shifted my weight until she was perched closer to the edge of the bed, then bumped her off. She hit the floor with a thud, taking the blankets with her.

“Gah!” Lyra gasped as the sharp pain in her rump brought her quickly out of her stupor. “Ow, where am I?”

“Platform seven and three-quarters,” I remarked dryly.

“Huh?” Lyra stood up and used her magic to disentangle herself from the sheets. “Oh, Dawn! That’s right, we had quite a lovely evening, didn’t we?” She began to fold my blankets in her magic, stashing them in her saddlebags.

“Wait, are you stealing my blankets?”

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, you did cover mine in itching powder after all.”

“Hey! That was Scootaloo.” I frowned and tried to give her puppy dog eyes.

“Hah!” Lyra gave a few more hearty laughs as she set a pillow down next to her saddlebags. “You weren’t blaming Scootaloo last night when it was time to punish you. Regardless, I’ll return them once I get a chance to wash mine and dry them outside.”

Sighing in defeat I lifted my hooves up. “Alright, you win, can you let me go now?”

Lyra chuckled as she took a pen off the nightstand and tapped it against the cuffs. “They’re not locked, silly.”

I glanced at where the pen was tapping and, sure enough, if I twist my hooves just right I could manipulate the buckle to take them off. “Wow, that was a cheap trick.”

“Using cuffs with no lock? Oh yes, how will I ever sleep with myself at night?”

Once free of the cuffs I stood up on the bed and stretched out my wings and legs, stealing a glimpse at Lyra’s flanks. “I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t sleep alone tonight. You’ve got to stay warm, right?”

She strapped her saddlebags on her back. “Oh, I’ve got plenty of blankets to stay warm. You, on the other hoof, may want to make sure your radiators are working to heat your house tonight.”

I jumped down and headed over towards the bathroom, needing desperately to void my bladder. “So you’re heading home?”

“Yeah, sorry to rush out, but I’ve got to cheer for a friend of mine at the Iron Pony contest today.”

She walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek as I waited in the door to the bathroom. “Well then, I guess I’ll see you later at the competition.”

Lyra walked towards the stairs and flicked her tail as she headed down. “You sure will.”

I closed the door to the bathroom and went over to the toilet to take a piss. First, I would have to figure out how to use the toilet while aroused. I sighed and reached under the sink. “Why can’t things ever be simple?”


After showering I put on my flight suit and headed towards the farm. It was rather cloudy today, and not many members of the weather team were in the air clearing the clouds. They had likely all been given the day off.

Everypony in town seemed to be heading towards Sweet Apple Acres today for the Iron Pony competition. They all seemed in good spirits, excited to compete and have some fun.

Per my understanding, the contest had started between Applejack and Dash and quickly became a town favorite. This year ponies from as far as Canterlot had come to attend and compete. At the end of the contest they would hold the Running of the Leaves, to signal the end of fall.

I don’t yet see how running can make leaves fall, but Twilight assured me it’s amazing what Earth ponies could do without magic. One Earth pony can clear ten acres of snow in a day with nothing but a snow plow, and inhuman stamina. Thank Celestia this spring my job would be much easier. All the Pegasi do is help birds migrate. If these birds were anything like on Earth, they would have some sort of magnetic compass built into their brains and I could nap on a cloud while my flock of birds flew south.

Already I had spotted many familiar ponies chatting and getting ready for the event. I made my way over to the de-facto celebrities to say hi.

“Hey, Twilight, how’s the Dewey Decimal System coming along?” I asked.

“Dawn! It’s fantastic!” She seemed to blush a little as she glanced away from me and towards Applejack. “I stayed up all night working on it, and would have finished but somepony dragged me out of the library.”

I tilted my head to the side as I recalled a fragment of a dream involving Twilight, me, and the Dewey Decimal System.

“Ya got better things ta do than organize the library again, like cheer me on as ah whip Dash’s flank.” Applejack smirked as she shot a glance up at a cloud with a rainbow tail hanging over the side.

“Ha!” Dash shouted back. “You’ll need an act of Celestia to beat me!”

“This year ya can’t use yer wings!”

Dash’s tail shook as she laughed. “Would I be taking a nap if I wasn’t sure I was gonna win?”

“Oh, would she?” Pinkie said.

I turned around and saw her standing next to a hot air balloon with Spike. She was armed with a bull-horn and some confetti, cupcakes, and other supplies I can only assume were stashed around town in case of hot air balloon emergency.

“Hey, Pinkie, come to cheer us all on?” I asked.

As I walked over to steal a couple cupcakes, Spike spoke up. “We’re hosting it together this year, and Twilight got us air time on Everfree Northwest!” He held up a mic attached to a box, which looked like an old-school CB radio on Earth.

“Wait, you guys have been holding out radio on me?”

“You never asked.” Pinkie gasped loudly as her left hind leg twitched and her right foreleg shook. “Oh my gosh! You and Lyra—the date went well! I’m so happy!”

Before I could reply, Pinkie had wrapped her forelegs around me in a hug. I could see Dash’s head poking out from over the cloud now, and she looked wide awake after hearing that.

“Heh, yeah, it did.” I returned the hug, knowing it was a quicker way to get Pinkie off me than a crowbar.

“I’m so happy for you,” Fluttershy added from somewhere behind me.

I smiled at her. “Lyra’s here to cheer for me. It’s no big deal.” Pinkie finally let go of me and I walked back towards the others.

“Well, that explains the latent magical energy on his body,” Rarity whispered to Twilight. The two unicorns were blushing. Apparently a shower can’t hide all the signs that you’ve gotten lucky. At least now I knew why Twilight was blushing earlier.

“Hey, Dash, where’s your better half?” I shouted up to her.

“He said something about finding his Wonderbolt outfit so he looks good when he loses the competition to me,” Dash replied.

“Someone sure is full of themselves,” Applejack deadpanned. She had begun to stretch out for the first event and didn’t bother to look up.

“Pfft, just ask Dawn. I’m gonna get more gold medals than their are apples in the Apple family.”

Applejack looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “I, uh, am not gonna get in the middle of this?” I told her.

“Hah! Looks like Dawn took yer common sense with him on the way out, Dashie!” Applejack mocked.

“Hey! He didn’t steal any of my change!” Dash jumped off her cloud and flew down to land next to Applejack.

I sat down to begin my own stretches, starting with my back and then legs. The two mares started a friendly argument together about who would win. While stretching a pony introduced himself to me as Time Turner, official referee of the contest. He assigned me the number forty-two for the competition.

With more and more ponies arriving, it was just a matter of time until I spotted Soarin. He was in his Wonderbolt outfit and had over a dozen fillies following him around the track. Scootaloo was at the head of the pack, gazing at Soarin. Her tongue was hanging out, wings extended, and cheeks blushing. Next to her was a dark blue pegasus, who seemed to be having a similar reaction to Scootaloo.

Fillies and Colts can be so naive, and not realize one of their friends has a crush on them.

“Ladies and gentlecolts! Welcome to the fifth annual Iron Pony Competition!” Pinkie shouted from her balloon. “This year we have a series of exciting events, with more medals, more confetti, and more parararararty!”

There was a loud bang as a cannon fired streamers into the air, and the crowd of gathered ponies cheered wildly.

“That’s right everypony!” Spike added. “And this year we have contestants from as far as Cloudsdale and Canterlot!”

I got up and headed over towards the first event. It was the tug-o-war, a simple way to start sorting ponies into categories by strength. There would be small tokens awarded for winning minor events, and medals for winning categories such as strength, speed, or stamina.

The Apple family had dug a dozen ditches and filled them with mud, so that many ponies could do the tug of war at once. Pinkie continued to talk in her excited voice, sounding like she’d had a triple espresso.

When she called my number it caught my ear. “42 is facing number 13 at the tug-o-war! Seventeen is facing…”

I walked over towards the rope, curious to see who my opponent was. Dash was already lined up across from Applejack. No doubt one of them had bribed Pinkie to ensure they faced each other. When I turned to face my opponent, I let out an exasperated sigh.

“Soarin.”

“Dawn, glad you showed up. Someone has to finish last place, and I’d feel bad if it was Derpy again,” he said.

I glanced over at Derpy briefly. “Hey that was uncalled for. Remember when you take second place to me, that second place is the first place loser.”

“Contestants!” Pinkie shouted. “Pick up your ropes and get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble!”

“Watch your back or I’ll snap one of those flimsy wings clean off when I win.” Soarin bent over and picked up the rope.

He was being unusually mean, and if he kept it up I’d figure out which button to press to make him snap. I wasn’t here to pick a fight, however my patience was wearing thin. THrowing his ass into this pit of mud would cheer me up for now.

I took the rope in my mouth and tested my footing, tugging on the rope. Soarin tugged back, glaring at me as he did so.

“Everypony ready?” Spike asked. “Three, two, one.”

“Go!” Pinkie screamed, firing off her cannon.

The rope went taut as Soarin and I both pulled. I had to adjust my footing several times in the loose sand, and so did he. Despite my efforts, he was making steady progress and inching me closer to the pit.

As my foreleg slid in the sand, it hit a rock in the dirt. I put all my weight onto that leg and started to pull back, feeling my neck strain from holding onto the rope. I was able to plant my other legs and wait until all four hooves were planted firmly.

Soarin was leaning backward, legs nearly perpendicular with the ground. He was putting everything he had into staying in place, however I was slowly digging hooves into the ground and backing up. Because I had the upper hoof and a chance to find good footing, he didn’t stand a chance.

I could hear other ponies landing in the mud, or falling on the ground. Winners were being declared as Twilight and Turner went around, handing out yellow ribbons.

The rope slipped in my teeth a little, reminding me to bite down. The knot at the end of the rope was pulling against my teeth, and I could see the red flag in the middle of the rope had nearly crossed the line on my side. I had almost won, but even with one of his hooves now dangling over the mud pit, Soarin was still resisting.

Right when I thought I had him, he flapped his wings hard, finding some footing and pulling back as dust blew into my eyes. I closed them as the dust hit, irritating them, and stumbled forward a couple steps. I didn’t stop until my hoof hit the rock again, and I began to flap my own wings for more leverage.

“Dawn’s disqualified!” Twilight called out.

Soarin was the one who broke the rules first!

I channeled my anger and tore back on the rope, sending Soarin face-first into the mud. I spit the rope out and turned to Twilight. “He started it! He blew dust in my eyes!”

She looked up at Pinkie, who shrugged her shoulders, then at Turner. “One second, Dawn.” Twilight went to him and they seemed to be discussing it to see if Soarin had cheated too.

Meanwhile, I turned to look at Soarin whose Wonderbolt outfit was now covered in mud. As he climbed out I walked over to give him a hoof. “Can’t even win when you cheat, huh? Want a hand?”

“Hand?” Soarin spat, wiping the mud off his muzzle. “Gah, you got lucky, I saw the top of that rock in the dirt!”

“Well I just hope you don’t get disqualified for cheating, it’d take all the fun out of my victory.”

Twilight came back over to address the both of us. “We’ve awarded a point to Dawn. Though the use of wings or magic isn’t allowed, Soarin you used your wings first. Dawn used them in response, and as you’re both Pegasi you were still evenly matched. If you break the rules again, either of you, we’ll take away five points.”

“Yes, Twilight.” I smiled and nodded.

Soarin got out of the pit and started to walk towards the nearby barn to discard his muddy flightsuit. “Whatever.”

“Hmm, I wonder what his problem is.” Twilight turned to look at me. “Did you do something to him?”

“Really, you haven’t heard? He’s a bit jealous that I’m secretly boning Dash or something.” I caught myself after I said it, and looked to find Twilight blushing. Ponies weren’t used to such crude humor. “Sorry, old habits and all.”

“Yeah, haha. It’s not like you’re sleeping around or anything. If you, uh, require any books on sexual education let me know. Bye!” Twilight rushed off before I could reply.

“Wow, that was weird.” I looked around, but I was just talking to myself. I headed off towards the next event.

On my way over there I saw the crowd mingling with some of the contestants. Lyra made her way over to me, reaching me as I stood near an apple tree in the shade.

“Hi, Dawn, that was a nice victory for you,” Lyra said. She smiled, and I could smell some sort of mint-based perfume.

“Thanks, Lyra. He’s had that coming for a while, and then he had the nerve to cheat.”

“Usually it’s the mare that’s over-protective of their stallion. I mean, there’s plenty of mares to go around so we can get really defensive and attached to our stallions,” Lyra explained. “Still, Dash is a hell of a mare so I can’t blame him.”

“Well I could do with a little less of his attitude. I’ve got enough to adjust to around here,” I observed.

Lyra levitated a wet washcloth out of her saddlebag. “Hey, brought you something to cool off.” She began to wipe the sweat off my brow. “Well seeing as how the elements and I are the only ones who really know what you’re going through, just remember you can talk to me about anything, okay? Maybe over dinner this weekend or something.”

I caught myself staring at Dash, who was off in the distance rubbing her win in Applejack’s face. Lyra had asked me something and I’d missed it, so I just faced her and nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Soarin was heading over to Dash too, now free of his dirty flight suit. He pointed in my direction and looked pretty upset, and Dash seemed to get a good laugh out of it. She nudged him playfully but he looked anything but playful.

“I have a feeling Soarin isn’t gonna let that one go. What event is next?”

Lyra put the cloth away. “Buffalo riding. The first time they had this event they bucked Spike off their backs, but the poor guy can’t get thrown by fifty ponies. Now a buffalo volunteer will try to buck the ponies off! It sounds really fun.”

“And dangerous.” I turned to her and smiled. “Thanks for the sweat rag, with you on my team there’s no way I’ll lose this contest.” I gave her a quick hug and stepped back.

“Yeah, just try not to get yourself killed on the buffalo. It’s not often I meet somepony who can clean the bats out of my attic.”

I laughed, bumping her in the shoulder with my hoof. “Oh, it’s nice to know where I fit into our relationship. I’ll be sure not to kill myself, but I might break a wing if it means I can see you in a nurse outfit.”

“Hah! Keep dreaming, pal.” She smirked and walked back towards the stands.

Once she was gone I glanced back to see what Dash and Soarin were up to. They were at the rodeo ring along with a crowd of ponies. I hurried over to see who was competing.

By the time I got there, the twenty by twenty foot enclosure was surrounded by ponies, and the stands were packed. In the middle was a buffalo with some face paint and a headband. A unicorn on his back slipped and fell off, and the judges stopped the time.

“Fourteen seconds!” Pinkie shouted.

I looked up, seeing her and Spike still doing their announcements in the balloon. Applebloom brought some water for the pony who had fallen off the buffalo, spilling some in the dirt.

This was the closest I’d seen the ponies get to violence. As they stood around cheering and tossing popcorn into the ring, pony after pony climbed on the back of the buffalo. Every time, the buffalo made quick work of tossing them off. The laughter and cheering was infectious, and I nearly missed my number being called.

“Forty-Two!” Pinkie shouted. “That’s you, Dawn!”

I looked around. “Oh, yeah!” I flew over the fence into the pen, walking over to the buffalo.

“Dawn’s a new resident of Ponyville, hailing from far away,” Spike said. He had an excitement in his voice as he built up hype for me.

I saw Scootaloo clinging onto the fence. “Go Dawn! Get a buffalo riding cutie mark!”

I waved to her, and walked up to the buffalo. “Hi, I’m Dawn.”

“I’m Little Hoof. Apologies in advance if I toss you into the fence, it’s nothing personal.”

I laughed and climbed onto his back. “What good manners for somepony who is about to excite a crowd of ponies by flinging me onto my ass.”

On his back was nothing but a basic rope harness to hang onto. As I thought about it, I realized I had no idea how to ride a bull, let alone a buffalo, let alone in a pony’s body.

This was going to hurt.

“Go!” Pinkie yelled.

I did the first thing that came to mind, twisting my hoof under and around the rope, creating a loop on my foreleg. Little Hoof wasted no time, immediately flinging me forward.

My foreleg was yanked hard as it was the only thing stopping me from flying straight over the buffalo’s head. I slammed back down on his back, being flung the other direction. I could feel the rope dig into my skin and burn, then I felt a sharp pain in my back.

“Three seconds!”

I groaned, rubbing my sore foreleg before I stood up. The buffalo had made short work of me, but the crowd was cheering regardless. Apple Bloom ran under the fence, delivering me some water to drink.

“Good job, Dawn,” Apple Bloom offered.

“Thanks.” I drank the water and headed back to the crowd. My eyes drifted across the crowd and I saw Soarin having a good laugh. I walked past him, wiping fake sweat off my brow. “Whew, I felt so bad about the tug-o-war I thought I’d give you a freebie.”

“Hah! You’ve got the upper body strength of a filly.”

“Thanks, I work out.” I ignored him and continued to the corner and flew out of the ring, taking a position up in the crowd.

Once I had found a nice place to watch the rest of the contest, I saw Dash enter the ring.

“Hah! I could beat Applejack’s time with both hooves tied behind my back,” Dash quipped.

“Oh really? Ah can tie ‘em for ya,” Applejack retorted.

“I, uh, think I’ll pass. Thanks!” Dash flew up and landed on the buffalo’s back.

From here I could see her get a much better grip on the rope. Dash tapped the buffalo to let him know she was ready as Pinkie counted down.

When the round started, Dash threw a foreleg in the air and shouted “Yee-haw!” She was looking right at Applejack as she did so, and even managed some laughter as the round started. I had to hand it to her, she had balls to mock Applejack while on the back of hundreds of pounds of pure muscle. If anypony was going to beat Applejack’s sheer strength and stubborness in this contest, it’d be Dash and her iron will.

I looked around for a clock because Dash had been on the buffalo for a while. She might have already won, but the buffalo was clearly getting frustrated. His job was to toss ponies off, and here was one that seemed to be glued to his back.

Finally, Dash was thrown off the buffalo. Even before she landed I could tell from what she had taught me about crash landings that she wasn’t prepared. She hadn’t tucked her legs in and wasn’t trying to divert her momentum by rolling. Her wings were just beginning to open to gain some air control when she landed on one.

“Dash!” I squeezed between the two pieces of wood that made up the fence and ran towards her. Her landing looked painful from my spot on the other side of the arena and I had to make sure she was okay.

As I ran to her, I slipped in some of the mud and debris in the ring, landing right on top of Dash.

She had landed on her back, and I had landed right on her belly. We both blinked a couple times as I pinned her to the ground, inches from her muzzle. Already I could barely speak, let alone get up, from the sheer adrenaline and speed with which it happened. Worse yet, with her body pinned under mine I wasn’t just thinking with my brain anymore.

I needed to get up and back into the crowd before anypony noticed my arousal.

“Dawn!” Soarin shouted.

I turned to face him and stood up, just as a hoof hit my face. The world spun and my ears rang as I hit the fence and tumbled into the dirt. I didn’t fully realize what had happened and couldn’t seem to get my hooves under me.

“Soarin!” Dash shouted something else and a swarm of ponies seemed to descend on us.

It took me a moment to get up, already furious and ready to tear his head off. Applejack stood between us, examining my face, and no doubt ready to match my strength if I made a move for Soarin.

“Ya okay, sugar cube?” she asked.

“The hell?” I tried to force my way past her to strangle Soarin, and she easily held me back with one leg.

“Woah, just a misunderstandin’, okay? He’s probably already disqualified, Dawn,” Applejack said.

“I knew you couldn’t keep your hooves off my marefriend!” Soarin shouted. “Jumping right on top of her like a wild animal ready to mate! Learn some self-control you pervert!”

“Celestia dammit! Shut it now, Soarin!” Dash screamed. She stomped her hoof, turning her face away so Soarin couldn’t see it. A second later she flew off towards her home, tears streaming down her face.

Soarin looked at her in shock for a minute, before chasing after her.