• Published 20th Dec 2013
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Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn - Kaidan



I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.

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11. Face Your Fears

I had a lot to think about and no real place to start. Since Twilight hadn’t come back yet and the sun had set, I decided to get some sleep. Odds were she was doing damage control, or just trying to find some of the ponies I had upset. In the meantime, I could reach out to Luna for some advice. Normally I had to go looking for her in my dreams, though I had a feeling she would come to me this time.

Once I laid down on my bed I began to feel the gentle breeze coming through the windows in my room. It was a quiet night out and I could see a crescent moon in the distance, just above the horizon. My cat had curled up near my hind hooves and meowed angrily as I rolled over to go to sleep. He had the ability to fall asleep anywhere in a matter of seconds, and must have thought I could do the same.

As I tried to fall asleep I was forced to relive the memories of the day over and over. Thinking of what I could have said differently, or getting angry over each small detail. Nopony seemed to see things from my side of the picture.

I hardly noticed I had fallen asleep when Luna showed up. We were still in my bedroom, though my cat was gone along with the breeze. She had conjured up a chair to sit in near the bed, and waved her hoof towards an empty chair across from hers.

“Hi, Luna. So I guess you’ve heard or do you need the short version?” I got out of the bed and walked to the chair, noticing that in my dream my hooves made no sound on the hardwood floor.

“Indeed, though only bits and pieces from the perspective of other ponies having restless nights. You’d be surprised how much of what goes on in our days is replayed in our dreams to commit to memory.”

After sitting down in the chair, I turned side-ways to use it as a bed, propping my head and hind hooves up. “Yeah, you’re the NSA’s dream. Instant access to everypony, everywhere.”

“NSA?” Luna chuckled, shaking her head. “I had not expected your human traits to get you into trouble so quickly.”

I nodded, then stopped. “Wait, so quickly? So you figured I’d screw everything up and kept it to yourself?”

“Well, for your many admirable qualities you have just as many that are more likely to get you into trouble. Rash decision making, grudges, and a rather deep-rooted need for individuality and privacy.”

My wings stretched out as I got comfortable. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. My individuality and privacy are all I have. If I let go of that, who am I?”

Luna’s horn began to glow and the air rippled above us, beginning to play images. This one was of Applejack harvesting apples. She looked like hell, with thick-grey bags under her eyes. They were bloodshot and she seemed to stop every few steps to fall asleep. “Some ponies feel the need to shoulder burdens all by themselves, but it is not our nature.”

The image rippled and was replaced by the sight of Dash, Twilight, and Applejack’s other friends helping with the harvest. From the looks of it, they were getting a week’s worth of harvesting done in short order. “Our strength comes from our friendships, from helping one another. It does not make Applejack any less of an individual, Dawn.”

I nodded, flapping a wing to blow a gust of air at the image, causing it to vanish. “Yeah, well this isn’t so simple as picking apples.”

Luna frowned. “You can not expect others to help you if you do not be honest with them and ask for help. Would admitting your difficulty with impulse control under the effects of poison joke be so embarrassing as to outweigh the benefit of Twilight helping you fix the problem?”

“I suppose you’ve made your point, but I’m not sure confessing is going to win many of them back. What about Soarin, and shouting out how I was an alien in front of a crowd?”

“Of all the strange things they’ve witnessed in Ponyville, most thought little of your outburst. Alien conspiracies, the roar of the crowd, the fight with Soarin… luckily Twilight was able to explain you were ill under the effects of poison joke and most ponies understood.”

I laughed, causing Luna to tilt her head. “So I’m not trusting enough, and everypony else is too trusting.”

“We don’t have much time left. I’ve given you my advice. Trust them to understand and face your fears...”

Before I could reply, the dream began to fade to darkness around me. The weight of my blanket was the first feeling to return, followed by the warmth of the sun against my body. I stretched my legs and rolled over, kicking the sheets off in the process. It seemed like I had only just gone to sleep, and yet it was morning. With my luck, Twilight would show up before I’d had a chance to brush my teeth let alone grab something to eat. I went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth in case she did drop by first thing in the morning.

Once I got downstairs I found a bagel in my kitchen to eat and then heard a knock on the front door. I felt a bit of dread, having to come clean in front of everypony about the poison joke, my feelings, and apologizing to them. Part of me wanted to blame it all on them and argue, but I knew that wouldn’t do much more than further alienate them and piss them off.

Sighing, I opened the door and smiled. “Good morning, Twilight.”

She nodded, and walked inside. Twilight had brought over all her friends, as well as Lyra, to clear the air. The princess had frayed hair and it looked like she hadn’t gotten much sleep. “Morning, Dawn.”

As the rest walked in I noticed Dash wasn’t looking too well either. Soarin was visibly absent, so at least I had that one small mercy. Applejack seemed to keep her eyes on me, like some kind of living guilt trip and lie detector.

Once they all came in and started sitting down in my living room, I closed the door and headed towards a bean bag chair in the corner. It was the only piece of furniture not yet occupied. So far my discomfort was somewhere between intervention and telling your parents you had sex with your second-cousin. It got worse as I didn’t really want to start the conversation.

“Is there something you have to say to us?” Twilight looked at me with slightly blood-shot eyes, not unlike a disappointed mother.

When it was apparent I couldn’t really put it off any longer, I took a deep breath and began. “I’m sorry for yesterday, there’s some stuff I need to tell you. Since I got here I’ve been having some trouble adjusting. Then I stumbled into the poison joke for the first time and started hearing the voices from my dreams. There were voices for all these different, um… personalities in my head. And then the second time, the voice seemed louder and I couldn’t really argue with it’s logic and just kind of went along with it. Oh, and they made me really horny until—”

Dash huffed, and began to walk towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Twilight asked.

“You wanted me to give him a chance to apologize and I did. I have to get back to weather duty.” Dash opened the door and began to walk out.

“Dash, don’t do this,” I said. I stood up and was about to go stop her, but Twilight just shook her head. The door closed behind her as the mare I’d probably hurt the most walked right out on me.

“So the poison joke is makin’ you hear voices? And you’re hearin’ em in your dreams too?” Applejack said. “Ah don’t like the sound of that. What’d Doctor Stable say?”

“I didn’t tell him. I didn’t tell anyone but Luna.” I offered her a small shrug of my shoulders. “It just didn’t seem like their business, I’m trying to figure out some stuff right now about whether I am better off as a stallion or mare, whether I could ever go back to be human,... or if some of my friends are something… more.”

“I knew he’d be happy as a mare!” Pinkie giggled, then looked at Rarity who was levitating a few bits over to Pinkie.

It appeared as if they had made a bet over which gender I would have wanted, and I didn’t really want to dignify it with a response. “I haven’t decided anything yet. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

Twilight nodded and came over to me. “So, you’ve been hearing voices and they seem developed enough to be personalities?”

“Yeah, you know something I don’t, like you botched my ponification?”

“No, but we have never done something like that before. The process could have given some of your conflicting thoughts and emotions their own personalities, or they could be fragments of memories somehow passed through the DNA samples we used to make your body… it’s hard to say. What I do know is, we should see Zecora about a poison joke vaccine or some way to help you avoid these effects. And visiting a therapist couldn’t hurt either.”

“Yeah, that all sounds super fun, but I think I’d rather just have some time alone.”

“We’re not going to leave you all alone when you’re obviously having some major issues to work through. You need our help.” Twilight looked to her friends who all nodded in agreement.

“Why don’t we just go see Zecora instead? I don’t want to sit here talking about my feelings all day, no offense. I mean, I’d like if you each came by one at a time to apologize to on a more personal note.”

“I think that’ll work, I’ll go first and wait outside to take you to Zecora.” Twilight, who was still standing closest to me, came over and offered me a hug.

I smiled and accepted her hug. “I’m sorry for putting you through all that. I hope nopony took the whole alien body-snatcher routine too seriously.”

Twilight chuckled. “Well, luckily poison joke is a pretty blanket excuse around here.” She let go and walked out the front door, leaving me with the next mare to apologize too.

Rarity and Applejack had come over, and it was the fashionista who approached me first. “Really, Dawn, you’ve no need to apologize to me. Though, I do wish you’d have come to talk to me, I did enjoy our spa visit and am always willing to lend a friendly ear.”

“Thanks, Rarity, I’ll remember that.” I returned her friendly nuzzle before she walked out, leaving me to face Applejack. “Sorry about causing a scene on your barn.”

“And upsetting my friends? Ah can relate to your stubbornness and wantin’ to solve problems on your own, but ya see now how that can hurt the other ponies that care about ya?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, you didn’t place top ten in the Iron Pony, but you may get a kick outta knowing you set a record on the obstacle course. Ah figure Soarin and Dash won’t soon forget what a good flier you are.” She smirked and was the next to head outside.

“Pinkie, did I ever thank you for setting me up on a date? And sorry I missed the first one.”

She smiled and jumped on me, giving me a tight hug. “It’s okay! A true true friend helps a friend in need! You just let me know if you ever need a thing.” As Pinkie pulled back she produced a cupcake for me, chocolate with red sprinkles.

“Thanks.” I took the cupcake and ate it quickly, expecting to find a few stray hairs from her mane in the cupcake. Once again, she’d exhibited her skill at concealing baked goods on her person.

Lyra came up next, delaying the pony I owed the biggest apology to for last. “How are you doing, really?”

“I’m fine, Lyra. Like I said I’m just trying to figure some stuff out and made some bad decisions. I’m sorry for hurting you like that…”

“Hey, you didn’t upset me. Just because we had some fun doesn’t mean I was expecting you to go steady or marry me, silly. Besides, I’ve always sorta like the pegasi tradition.”

“Huh?” I tilted my head to the side, trying to recall some memory of what she might be referring too. “I haven’t heard that one.”

“Yeah, pegasi have been known to form flocks. Pegasus stallions are more likely than unicorn or Earth ponies to cultivate multiple relationships at once, some even marrying more than one mare.”

“You’re shitting me?” I sighed, while the others gasped at my language. “Sorry, I mean, Soarin was hitting on me and I made a huge scene, when that was normal?”

Lyra rubbed my shoulder with a hoof. “Hey, between you and me I think Soarin doesn’t deserve a mare like you.”

I laughed, gesturing to between my legs. “Well, feel free to stop by later and I’ll dispel this mare rumor.”

She gave me a gentle nuzzle on the neck. “I don’t think Dash and Fluttershy would appreciate that,” she whispered. “By not sorting out your feelings and making your intentions clear, you’re hurting them both.”

Lyra pulled back and walked out the doors, leaving me standing there with a dumbfounded look on my face. It wasn’t until Fluttershy almost snuck past me and out the door that I snapped out of it. “Fluttershy…”

She turned to look at me, clearly as uncomfortable as I had been. “Dawn.”

I walked over to her and hugged her. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at Dash, or take advantage of you or anything… I value our friendship too much, you’re such a sweet mare, and I thought you’d finally accept me as a mare—”

“Dawn,” she interrupted. “I accept you for who you are, not your gender. I admit I was rather, um… thrilled when I saw you as a mare. It was like something out of a dream, and I was more than willing to accept your advances. However, I would never ask you to be something you’re not just so that I could find a little physical intimacy. I also value our friendship.”

“Thanks, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard you say, and also the longest.” I hugged her tighter for a moment and then let go.

“Please stop by if you need a friend to talk to, or your wings preened.”

She turned to leave and her primaries flicked across my neck. After she’d gone out the door I took a moment to take a deep breath and get ready to head out and see Zecora with Twilight.


Twilight and I had an uneventful stroll through the Everfree to the house of the zebra shaman. At this early time in the morning, the forest was rather brightly lit. The sun rising in the east was able to pierce most of the foliage along this well-traveled road to the shaman. The predators and animals they preyed on were all asleep.

Once we got to the hut, Twilight knocked on the door and a minute later Zecora opened it up. “This is the last thing I expected you to bring me, is this the pony you created with a dash of humanity?”

“Morning, Zecora, this is Dawn. Dawn, Zecora,” Twilight said, giving us a chance to greet.

I extended a hoof. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

Zecora bumped my hoof and bowed her head slightly. “The honor is mine, to observe a specimen so fine. Please, come inside and have some tea, and tell me of what use I can be.”

Twilight gestured me in and lead me to a bench to sit on. We seemed to be in a waiting area of sorts. It contained a few exotic plants, such as a cactus, which weren’t seen in Ponyville. Hanging ferns, tribal masks, and some ancient artwork on what appeared to be animal hides hung from the walls. I was about to ask about the animal hides, when I remembered their homeland was on another continent. Back on Earth, remote tribes would often shrink heads or go so far as to tan leather from humans, even cannibalize them. Perhaps it would be better if I not ask from what relative or animal the hides might have come from.

Sitting on the shelves of two thick bookcases were rows of potions, each labeled with paper and twine. They listed the benefits of the potion along with the cost, and I could make out cures to every ailment from the common cold to pneumonia. One even claimed to regrow bones, though for two-thousand bits I was hard pressed to imagine who might afford such an elixir.

Zecora finally returned with our tea, and set them down on the tree-stump turned coffee-table next to us. “Please enjoy your drinks, they’re flavored with a hint of lynx.”

I looked at Twilight who was already sipping her tea, so I tried my own. It had a strange tingling taste to it, as if I were drinking the kinds of pins and needles one might feel when their leg falls asleep. The minty taste was a bit over-powering to my senses, but otherwise I felt immediately more energized and happy after drinking it. “It’s very good,” I said.

“Zecora,” Twilight began. “Dawn’s had a rather interesting reaction to poison joke. You’re familiar with how it shrank Applejack? Well Dawn also experiences physical changes. The poison joke seems to play on his identity issues to turn him into a mare.”

I blushed at how matter-of-factly Twilight laid that out there, as if turning into a horny-mare was no big deal.

“This transformation you describe is a first, but fear not for a cure as I am well-versed.”

“The antidote works fine, though by then it’s too late. He seems to become rather… clouded in his inhibitions and judgements while under the effect. I was hoping something similar to the potion you made Fluttershy to lower her voice to a baritone would help. Or perhaps a vaccine.”

Zecora hummed and began to look through some drawers full of reagents. “Even with herbs and extracts from far and wide, the vaccine to poison joke still manages to hide. A brew to control, aid, or abate his symptoms can be made, if to provide blood and tissue samples he can be swayed.”

“I’ll gladly give you a sample, if you rhyme less for example?” I chuckled and shook my head as I realized I had rhymed. “Sorry, no offense… it’s just a bit too lyrical you know?”

“Dawn!” Twilight scolded, staring daggers at me.

“It is okay, Twilight, I took no offense. It’s refreshing to meet a pony who honestly does his thoughts dispense. Sadly, Dawn, I must refuse. It is ancient tradition to keep us in touch with our muse.”

“Muse? Are you saying this is an art and not an exact science?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said. “I’ve studied it and you can’t simply combine plant A and plant B to get a certain result. Every pair of reagents has a very particular interaction, which gets more complicated with each additional reagent. While I could theoretically memorize every possible known combination, Zecora is able to quickly improvise a potion for almost anything.”

“Wow, then that is pretty amazing,” I said. “So you can just whip something up on the spot?”

“Within reason, Dawn, don’t get your hopes up. There is far more to it than crushing weeds in a cup.”

Zecora opened up the bottom drawer and pulled out a kit to collect a blood sample. It was rather basic, but at the same time not as bad as I was expecting. She had a proper needle and some tubes to collect the blood. There was a kit to scrape some skin cells from my cheeks. “So, this’ll let you fix the thing with all the voices and horniness?”

“One step at a time,” she said while sticking the needle into my arm. I yelped, and she quickly finished drawing her sample. “It’ll be as easy as a rhyme.”

I couldn’t suppress the groan at her final remark, even as Twilight bumped me on the shoulder. Once Zecora had finished, I headed outside to wait for Twilight, who requested just a few minutes alone to talk to her. I figured they were talking about me, maybe conspiring to kidnap me and sex me up in their secret laboratory or something. However, at this point that would be a rather normal and stress-free day for me. To be honest, anything would have been better than what came next. I would need to find Dash, and properly apologize to her, if she didn’t kill me first.