• Published 20th Dec 2013
  • 30,082 Views, 2,382 Comments

Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn - Kaidan



I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.

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16. Welcome Home - Epilogue

Author's Note:

Someone mentioned I sorta skipped a lot of character interaction in the finale and they're right. It's fun to have them interact, so here's a little extra to add to the ending.

It hadn’t taken Pinkie long to hang streamers from every corner of Twilight’s library. By the time the ponies in town had heard of our return, thanks in no small part to Pinkie, the mare had even baked a cake.

I stood in a corner with Dash as ponies streamed in to congratulate Twilight on finding her brother. “You know, Dash, I bet Pinkie’s passed out cold by eight. She’s been running around non-stop for at least an hour.”

“I’ll take that bet, she doesn’t sleep. She waits.” Dash pointed at Pinkie, who was taste testing the fruit punch. “That’s got enough sugar in it to keep her up all night.”

“She’s gotta crash sooner or later.”

Before we could get to the small details, like the stakes, we saw Shining and Twilight heading over towards us. Dash elbowed me in the ribs “No jokes this time.”

“Ow, come on I’m not that bad,” I said.

Shining reached us and smiled. “Twilight’s filled me in on most of what happened while I was gone. Thanks for helping rescue me, Dawn.”

“Oh it was nothing. The alternative was going to Dash’s Daring Do book club so I thought, why not?” I moved my hoof just in time for Dash to miss stepping on it. “Anyway, I’m glad to be fitting in around here now, your sister was a large part of making that happen.”

“It was the least I could do, Dawn.” Twilight blushed and looked at her brother.

“You know, the guard could use a pony like you, Dawn. I hear you’ve got some skill at tracking.”

I tilted my head in confusion for a moment before recalling my cutie mark, which appeared during the hunt for Dash. “Oh, right! Yeah I guess I do, but I’m not much of the enlistment type.” Given my knack for finding lost things, and the bit of medical knowledge I retained that was still useful, the mark seemed fitting: a yellow-orange sun rising over the horizon to outline a medical caduceus.

Shining nodded. “Well the Royal Guard is just one part of the law enforcement. There are ponies we contract for other jobs based on their talents: explorers, search and rescue, medics. I just want you to know I’ll put in a good word for you.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it.” I smiled and offered him a hoof to shake. “Now why don’t you enjoy this party before Pinkie force-feeds you some cake?”

He chuckled and shook my hoof. “Sounds like a plan.”

There was a knock at the door which was out of place, considering every other pony here had let themselves in on their own. “Oh! I almost forgot!” Twilight rushed over to the door.

We stood and watched as the door opened and Princess Cadance stepped in. Most of the ponies who actually heard her enter, over the noise of the party, stopped to bow. Shining rushed over to meet her. “Cadance!”

“Shining!” The Princess began to cry in joy as she rushed to embrace him.

While they began to catch up, I gestured over to the snacks and punch. “Hey, why don’t we pay a visit to Applejack?”

Dash smirked and got a gleam in her eye. “I think we should.”

As we walked over I noticed Rarity watching us. I also noticed that Applejack seemed to be trying to look away from Rarity, which let us sneak up on each side of her.

“So, AJ, what’s this about you and Rare? I never knew you were into mares!” Dash said.

“What?! Rainbow Dash, you stop right there missie!” Applejack blurted, her cheeks beginning to blush.

“Or maybe she swings both ways,” I added. “Hard working farm ponies have to blow off some steam like the rest of us.”

“But… Ah…” Applejack looked between the two of us and chuckled nervously. “Ha! Ah’m not gonna let you two mess with me that easy. What ah do with my love life is none of yer business.”

“Oh, we weren’t trying to make it ours… I mean, I’m sure you slipped and fell into that shampoo and had to clean your mane to get it out,” Dash observed.

I took a sniff of Applejack’s mane and it did smell of spiced cider. “Yeah, I haven’t even had time to preen and you show up to the party all dressed up, relatively speaking?”

“Ah’m not gonna run around filthy! It’s not like I did it for anypony,” she added. Applejack glanced at Rarity for a second, who was grinning ear to ear. “Did Rare put you up to this?”

“So it is Rarity!” Dash giggled and bumped into Applejack, putting a wing over her back and whispered. “You know, I’ve got a friend that could teach you a few moves.”

Applejack’s face was red as one of her apples and we finally had her at a total loss for words. She just blinked and stared at her reflection in the fruit punch in front of her.

“I think that’s enough, darling,” Rarity said. “Why don’t you two find another pony to pester before I sic Pinkie on you.” She pulled Dash gently off of Applejack, and I followed suit, backing away from the pony.

“Aww, sorry there AJ. It’s all in good fun,” Dash said.

“Yeah, you’d make a cute couple… I mean, if you had a special somepony… crap I’m just gonna shut up now,” I added.

As me and Dash walked away, I heard Rarity complimenting Applejack’s hair. “You really think they’ve got a thing, Dash?”

“Well they already bicker like an old married couple, so yeah,” she replied.

“I guess that makes sense.” I saw Lyra across the room and she immediately walked over towards us. “Now it’s your turn not to make any dumb jokes, Dash.”

“As if.” She rolled her eyes and decided to stretch out her wings. “Oh, hi Lyra.”

“Hi Dash, Dawn. I haven’t gotten to see you two around much. I just wanted to say how happy I am for you two.” Lyra smiled.

I recalled our time together and her good looks and attitude. “Thanks you’ve been a great friend to me. You know we could always hang out sometime, if Dash doesn’t mind.”

“What, me? Why would I mind. I’m way cooler than Lyra,” Dash said.

Lyra nodded and looked at Dash. “Sure, but I bet I could still teach you a trick or two. Maybe you and Dawn should invite me over for dinner some night.”

I turned to look at Dash, not trying to get my hopes up. Sure, it was one thing to fantasize but everypony knows you don’t just suggest a three-way to your mare friend. “Uh, Dash, why are you still stretching your wings?” I asked.

“What?!” Dash fluttered her wings, having subconsciously spread them. “They’re just stiff from rescuing your ass, I mean Shinings ass, gah!” She blushed and pulled her wings into her sides at last.

“Well, you two think about it, it wouldn’t be the first time.” Lyra winked and used her magic to give Dash a barely audible slap on her flank, which caused her to flinch.

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered. I think I’m gonna hire Lyra full-time just to watch you blush,” I stated.

Dash glared at me. “I know where you sleep!”

I flapped my wings to hover and put my hooves up in surrender. “Hey, I know where you sleep too. Truce?”

“Oh, a truce?! What are we playing? Risk? War? Chess?” Pinkie bounced between us from the side and looked back and forth, smiling widely.

“Uh, nothing yet, Pinkie,” Dash said.

“I’ve got the largest board game collection in Ponyville, just say the word and I’m there! I’m the Equestrian champion of Monopony.” Pinkie pulled a small gold trophy out of her mane to prove it.

“Wow, great work, Pinkie.” I looked a little closer at the trophy. “But, uh, why does this statue look like the pony is flipping a table?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Well not everypony is as happy as me and some like to flip the tables when they lose. It’s become something of a Monopony tradition! That’s how I got this!” She pulled out a second trophy with a more prominently flipped table. “But I only placed third in table flipping.”

“Yeah, I’ll stick to real trophies like Best Young Flier or most sonic rainbooms,” Dash said.

“Don’t be shy, Dash. I remember when you first moved here you won the Pegasi and Poltergeist championship! You rolled like, a hundred natural twenties!”

I laughed and looked at Dash. “Yeah, I’m sure she won because of luck and not being the only filly among a bunch of maturing colts.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault I’m awesome at everything I do. Besides, it’s not like you have any trophies, Dawn.”

Shrugging, I looked between them. “Well maybe not here, but I totally had a trophy back on Earth for uh… first place karate...thingy…”

The two mares laughed and I gave up trying to come up with some believable lie. “It’s okay, you’re number one in my book, Dawn!” Pinkie shouted. “And Shining is number zero point nine!”

I glanced back at him, to see Shining, Twilight, and Cadance still chatting near the door. “Well, everypony seems to be having a good time. How about we sneak out and head home?”

“Before pin the tail on the pony?” Dash said. She pointed over to a large cutout on the wall. “Nah, I want to see you stumbling around blindfolded first.

“All right, but if I win you’ve got to try and fly home with the blindfold on.”

We walked over towards Pinkie, who was starting to gather ponies up for the game. It was good to be home, with things back to normal. I decided to enjoy the moment as much as I could, surrounded by happy friends. Everything was finally at peace, most importantly with myself accepting my new life.