• Published 20th Dec 2013
  • 30,078 Views, 2,382 Comments

Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn - Kaidan



I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.

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14. The Hunt for Knight-Captain Armor

I had been awake for about half an hour now reflecting on how quickly my outlook on life had turned around. Things had gone from pretty awful to pretty damn good, and I owed a large part of that to the pony next to me.

Dash was still snoring as she slept on my wing, which had fallen asleep. I hadn’t moved it since I didn’t want to wake her; it was rather nice to be cuddling with her in bed. All the tension and worry had melted away once I’d found her and apologized. I don’t recall sleeping this well in a long time, and even now was hanging onto the last bits of sleep as the sun poured through the windows.

The blanket rustled a little as she moved, finally letting my trapped wing slide out from under her. It hadn’t really occurred to me before that I could enjoy something as simple as watching a pony sleep.

There was a creaking sound as the door to my second floor balcony opened up. At first I thought it had been the wind. “Dawn, are you still asleep? We’re gonna start searching a—”

I rolled over to face Twilight, whose face seemed to have overloaded trying to find the right expression for shock, disgust, and disbelief. Her wide eyes said plenty though, and I suddenly remembered what I had forgotten last night. All of her friends had been searching for Dash and we’d forgotten to tell any of them she was alright.

“Oh, hi Twilight… I, uh, found Dash.” I smiled for what it was worth and scooted to the edge of the bed, before getting down.

Her eyelid began to twitch a little. “You found her… and instead of telling all of us who were worried sick, you brought her back here and bucked her!” Twilight took a step towards me.

I felt my heart race and some pent up frustration boiling underneath my skin, making it hard to calm down my breathing. “We forgot—”

“Forgot? Or wanted to take advantage of my friend?”

“Damn it, Twilight! Shut up!” Something had snapped and I wasn’t about to stand here and take the blame for things anymore, or be some passive observer. “It was late when I found her and she came back here to get cleaned up! We forgot to tell you, princess, and what we chose to do in my own bedroom is none of your damn business!”

I marched towards her until I was only about a foot away. Twilight may have cowered, or it could have just been the slack-jawed shocked expression, but she didn’t seem so intimidating anymore.

“Everytime something goes wrong I seem to catch the flak for it. What is it, am I too quiet? I don’t hear anyone getting mad at Fluttershy. Am I just bringing out the worst in you? Running out of the magic of friendship? What is it! Tell me so I can fix it, but don’t you dare barge into my house and start throwing accusations! Not anymore!”

“Dawn,” Dash said. I turned to see her walking towards me, wide awake from the shouting. “I didn’t know you were feeling that frustrated with how ponies were treating you. I’m sorry, and you are too, right Twi?”

Dash and I looked over at Twilight who seemed to have recovered from the shock. “Yes, Dawn… I’m sorry for directing my anger at you.” She sighed, extending her wings to straighten the feathers a bit while she thought about what to say next. “Well, I’ve never had a friendship problem like you before. Don’t think that you’re only bringing out the worst in us, because you’re also bringing out some of the best.”

My heart was slowly returning to a normal pace as we stood there. It seemed to help having Dash awake, who had so quickly apologized and encouraged Twilight to do the same. “Yeah, I’m sorry for snapping… it’s a lot of pressure adjusting to this new life. I’m never sure if I’m doing the right thing. Just because I don’t wanna argue doesn’t mean I should be the one getting yelled at, you know?”

Dash put her wing over my back and gave me a hug with her wing. “We know, we’ve all had our share of trouble.”

“So, you two are…” Twilight trailed off as she waited for an answer.

“We’re a cou—” I began.

“—bucking each others brains out?” Dash finished.

Twilight wasn’t the only one at a loss for words. Finally Dash broke out laughing and let go of me. “Same old Dash,” I muttered.

“Well, if, um… you two are finished, the next item on my to-do list was to search for my brother.” Twilight magicked a scroll out of somewhere and unrolled it. She quickly began to mark off some boxes on it.

“She didn’t notice, did she?” I asked Dash.

“Hmm?” She looked at me, her eyes quickly finding my Cutie Mark. “Heh, guesss not. Let’s keep quiet and see how long it takes her.”

“So, Fluttershy told you we ran across some magic cave thing?” I tilted my head as she made the scroll vanish in a puff of purple smoke. Some day I’d have to ask where all the things she makes vanish actually go.

“Yeah, but then we got sidetracked.” The sound of a shower starting up interrupted us. “Uh, I guess you two want some time to get ready?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, looks like it. We’ll meet you at the library?”

“No, I’ll get the girls and wait at Fluttershy’s cottage.” Twilight smirked and turned around, walking out onto the balcony before vanishing in a purple flash of light.

I turned around to go make my bed and saw Dash waiting in the doorway to the bathroom. “Hey, you coming or what?”

“Huh?” I gave her a long look as my brain put two and two together.

Dash laughed and muttered something about stallions before turning around and heading into the shower.

I followed her into the bathroom and took a look around. “It doesn’t really look big enough for two.”

“Come on, you weren’t shy last night.”

Dash pushed the curtain aside and stepped into the shower, her mane quickly getting plastered to her body by the hot water. She looked back at me and caught me with my mouth hanging open. Somehow she looked even sexier when wet, probably due to how her hair was now sticking to her curves.

“Uh, sure.” I walked over and pushed the curtain aside before stepping in. It was definitely a tight fit in the shower, but that turned out to be a good thing. It was still a bit unsettling to have Dash seemingly drop her guard so quickly. In the past she’d always seemed more guarded, more concerned with appearing cool or tough.

“Come on, you preen my wings I preen yours. That’s how this works, hot shot.” Dash had her eyes closed as she rested on the plastic bench built into the shower and shampooed her hair.

Both wings were already spread out loosely, so I took the nearer one and lifted it with a hoof. Since Dash had taught me to preen myself it couldn’t be that much harder to preen her. I began to gently bite the feathers and pull, straightening them out and getting some loose hair, dirt, and other debris off them and spitting it out. She must have gotten rather beat-up last night to still have any left in her feathers.

A few loose ones fell out and were washed into the drain guard. By the time I’d finished the one wing, Dash had finished with her mane and tail. She was relaxing under the hot water, glancing back at me. “Good work, but if you go any slower we will be here all day.” She turned around and presented the other wing.

“I guess I just had a bad teacher,” I quipped. This time I was able to see her expressions better. Preening was something that felt good, like scratching a back, but wings were an entirely new appendage to me. For a while she looked more like a content kitten than a stunt pony while her wings were being straightened and fixed.

I stood there with a blank look on my face for a moment before she got up and tilted her head. “Well? Clean yourself up. You smell like a sweaty stallion, some offense intended.” She stuck her tongue out at me.

“Yeah, yeah…” I went to the bench and got the scrub brush onto my foreleg and began cleaning both my forelegs and my mane. I definitely didn’t envy women now that I had my own three-foot long hair to deal with.

Dash grabbed my wing and began preening. She was quick and deliberate with each feather, and I braced myself against the shower and closed my eyes. It felt better than when I would do it, though scratching ones own back never compares to having another scratch it. A lot of my stress seemed to melt away and before I knew it, she was pushing my wing back against the side.

While she positioned herself to the other side I finished up with my mane and curled back to try and clean out my tail. It was hard to focus while we were both in here, and while trying to reach back to rinse out my tail I slipped.

Dash let out a soft squeak as I landed on her in a tangled heap, and we slid on the shower floor. “Hey, what’s the big idea!”

“Sorry!” I chuckled and moved my hooves to try and get off of her. One of my wings brushed across her hind leg and I heard her laughing. It wasn’t shocking to hear her laugh, but it surprised me she had a rather girly laugh. I’d barely brushed her hoof and began to smirk as an idea formed.

“Dawn? What are you doing?” Dash pushed at my chest but with us both slick with water, she didn’t have the leverage to really push me off her.

“Oh, nothing…” I brushed my feathers across her hind hooves again, eliciting another stronger laugh.

“S-stop it, Dawn! Nopony touches my hooves!”

I leaned down, pinning her in the shower with my body weight. “Oh, and why is that? You sound like such a lovely school filly when I do this.” I held her hind legs steady as I tickled her, eliciting the most hilarious laughter from her. She began to wiggle out from under me so I pulled her back and spent just a minute making her laugh, until we were both running out of breath.

When I stood up Dash was quick to wiggle out from under me and stand up. “I’m gonna get you back for that, you’ll be sorry!”

“Oh yeah?” I stuck my tongue out at her. “Do your worst. I can always tickle you some more if I need to.”

“No way! You caught me off-guard, next time I’m gonna make you beg for mercy in ten seconds flat.” Dash stepped out of the shower and grabbed the nearby towel. While she dried herself, I turned the water off and then got out of the shower.

It took a while to get dried off and there were a heap of wet towels left to hang up. Dash kept glancing at me, and I felt like she was sizing me up for some future revenge. “You know, if anything, this makes us even for last night,” I said.

“Come on, we need to go find this cave of yours and see if Shining is in it. Don’t worry, though, I always get the last laugh.” She walked towards the balcony, tail raised and waving her flanks seductively.

By the time I realized what she was doing it was too late. I sighed and went to the closet and got out my flight suit that had been made by Rarity. With Dash no doubt ready to “get even” by shaking her flank all day, I’d need the flight suit to stay decent around the other mares.

With practiced ease I slid into the flight suit and went over to the balcony, where I found Dash sitting there whistling. “About time.”

I shrugged and stretched forward on the railing. “Come on, then, I’ll race you.” Without another pause I lept into the air and took off towards Fluttershy’s house.

While I enjoyed flying there were still nuances to it that eluded me, such as how Dash could accelerate so quickly. Stealing a head start helped a little, but she still caught up to me in a matter of seconds. As she pulled into the lead I just tried to stay close, in case she slowed down, and followed her to Fluttershy’s cottage.

Once it came into view I tried to gain a little speed by flapping my wings harder. Dash waited until we could see the white of Twilight’s eyes, then she zoomed forward to beat me there by a solid twenty feet. Apparently she’d been going easy on me, though I didn’t expect to beat her anytime soon. Perhaps one day, if I accidentally broke a few primaries preening, I might beat her. However, she was just too fast to keep up with normally.

Once I landed I headed over to Fluttershy first. She was talking with Applejack, while the others were putting saddlebags on. I hadn’t thought to bring any for myself, so I wound up not having to carry any supplies. It felt a little odd to have the women carrying everything, but the whole world could feel backwards at times.

“Hi, Fluttershy, how are you doing?” I asked.

“Oh, good. I’m just glad Dash is safe. I was so worried last night.” Fluttershy smiled and came over to give me a quick wing-hug.

While she did I saw Applejack look over to me. “Dawn, Ah’m sorry if ah’ve been hard on ya, we all are. It’s been a long time since we had a new friend in our circle, and just ask Twilight how that went.”

Nodding, I offered her a smile. “I get it, defeating powerful villains is a right of passage. I forgive you guys, I just needed to stand up for myself more.”

“Is everypony ready?” Twilight asked.

I looked at her and could see the Everfree behind her. The dark green trees seemed to fade to black as they approached the ground. It seemed even more ominous now, despite the fact we were going in as a group. The contrast of the bright green meadow as it was harshly cut off by thick foliage just screamed that it was a bad idea to venture forward.

There was a chorus of yeah’s and then I nodded my head. “Yeah, ready as I’ll ever be. Guess I’m leading the way.” I glanced back at Dash who quickly looked away. For a moment it looked like she had been staring at my flanks for a change and I chuckled. If the two of us didn’t burn down Ponyville trying to one-up each other, this relationship would be amazing.

“Yes, and do watch out for poisonous vine plants, wyverns, hydras, alligators, pitcher plants, venomous snakes, grabbing thorns, and venus pony-traps.” Twilight levitated a book in front of her for another second before putting it away in her saddlebags. “Yep, that’s all of them that are active this time of year. Any questions?”

“Is there anything in the forest that isn’t trying to kill us?”

“Zecora.” Twilight stated.

I rolled my eyes and started walking towards the treeline. “Thanks, I think.” It would have been better to go into the forest ignorant to the dangers, than have Twilight spell each one out for me. I’d never even seen a pitcher plant, let alone one large enough to trap a pony.

How would a pony even fall into one?

I began to hover as it was easier than walking through the tangled brush. Behind me, Twilight was using her magic to slash and push aside the thick plants to help the other ponies blaze a trail into the forest.

Perhaps it was just the adrenaline, but I seemed acutely aware that the forest was deathly silent today aside from us. I looked back and saw the last rays of unbroken sunlight fading. Rarity and Applejack seemed to be arguing in hushed whispers about something. The branches snapped loudly under their hooves and with the forest so quiet, I could make out most of the conversation about how this was ruining Rarity’s mane.

Dash seemed to stick closer to Fluttershy. At first glance I figured it was to comfort Fluttershy, but looking at their faces only Dash’s showed any hint of worry. The smaller, shy pegasus was surprisingly more at home around animals than ponies. I could relate, as I’d always prefered the internet. That wasn’t really an option anymore, unless I invented the internet in Equestria.

Hey, if Al Gore could do it, I could…

Twilight and Pinkie were staying the closest to me. Twilight already had cuts and scrapes on her forelegs as she tried to clear a path. Even though she could fly over the thorny brambles, she chose to walk with her friends. Pinkie, on the other hoof, was easily bouncing over each bush, branch, rock, and root. Of all the ponies she was the only one without any sign of leafs or twigs in her mane.

I focused on where I was going and looked around. I had no idea where I was, and yet I knew where I was going. It didn’t make sense to me to rely entirely on a gut-feeling to guide me.

There were three spaces ahead that could be defined very liberally as narrow paths. The first to the left was a wall of brambles with a small gap near the ground. The second was straight ahead, the widest open path beneath a thick grove of trees. To the right were jagged rocks that went downhill towards a cliff.

Hesitantly I looked around. My intuition said to go left, probably the least-comfortable choice. I would much rather go straight and try to loop around but I just felt like it was a bad idea for some reason. The way all the small branches had been broken off and trampled meant something bigger lived that way.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, just looking at the paths we have to choose from and you’re not going to like it,” I explained.

Twilight looked around. “I just see the one path, Dawn.”

I gestured to the right. “Under that root it goes steeply downhill, but we need to go left through this wall of bramble.”

She took a good look at it and grabbed at the brambles with her magic. Twilight strained for a second trying to cut or tear them, but was unable to. Finally she let go and panted. “Wow, those are strong. You’re sure we have to go that way?”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t remember brambles last time but my gut says it’s that way. We’ll have to crawl through.”

While I talked the other ponies had gathered around, and were now staring at the easy path and the thorny path before them. “Darling, I can’t crawl through that. It’ll ruin my mane and tail. There must be an easy way around it,” Rarity said.

“Y’all are always ruinin’ yer mane and ya always fix it,” Applejack stated.

“I think it looks fun!” Pinkie bounced over and landed on one of the larger brambles. “It’s like the rock-maze we’d have every year back home.”

“Rarity, if we could go around I would but I think there’s more to this bramble than meets the eye,” Twilight explained.

“Wait, you had rock mazes? Like, stacking rocks into a maze?” I asked.

Pinkied nodded. “Yep! Then the fillies all crawl through and look for the exit with the prize, ten pounds of rock candy!”

“Alright, I just hope the spa ponies aren’t planning any vacation anytime soon,” Rarity replied.

“Me and Fluttershy could fly over it,” Dash said.

“You just stack up rocks and balance them all into a big cave-maze thing and crawl through it? Are you nuts?!” I asked.

“The trees are too thick,” Fluttershy observed. “And when me and Dawn found the cave it was surrounded by magic, maybe the brambles are part of it.”

“Nope! We just grow the rocks into the right shapes to build the maze, it’s entirely safe! In fact, the Equestrian Earthquake Safety board rated our rock maze strongest in the county,” Pinkie answered.

“A good observation, Fluttershy,” Twilight stated.

“Stacked, round rocks, in a maze, and you grew the rocks?!” I landed and stared at her in disbelief.

“You make it sound hard, all you do is add water.” Pinkie jumped down and poked a rock on the ground. “Like this one, that’s a common rock farm weed.”

“No that’s a rock!” I shouted.

“Dawn! Pinkie!” Twilight stepped between us. “This is no time for messing around. I need you to start crawling into the bramble, maybe it opens up on the other side.”

“But… Pinkie… Rocks…” I finally sighed and gave up on understanding how rocks were grown. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am, silly!” Pinkie trotted over to see what Rarity was doing. “Rarity, we’re going this way, right?”

“Yes, but Dash just flew that way to check something,” Rarity explained. She pointed down the wide-open path.

A loud roar filled the forest causing some leaves to fall from the trees. “Dash!” I shouted.

“Dawn, lead everypony into the bramble, I’ll get Dash,” Twilight ordered.

“I can’t—”

“They’ll get lost if they go in there without you, now go!” Twilight’s horn lit up and I remembered that she was the element of magic. Hopefully that’d be enough, or I’d never forgive myself.

“Come on!” I grabbed Fluttershy and pulled her towards the bramble. “Stay close to me.”

I got onto my belly as I crawled inside, suddenly very glad I had the flight suit with me. Most of the thorns and rocks glanced off the flight suit, not sharp enough to break the suit and cut my skin. As I crawled forward I kept looking back, hoping Dash and the others were okay. I could see Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack. I thought I saw a glimpse of Twilight or Dash, and heard a voice from the rear. “Keep moving, we can’t fit!”

I crawled forward, weaving my way through the thorny vines. There wasn’t time to think which way to go, and before long I thought we were going in circles. At last, light pierced through the thorny maze and I crawled out into the clearing with the cave.

Behind me, Fluttershy crawled out. We waited, but nopony else crawled out after us.

“Fluttershy, did you see any of them behind you?” I asked.

“No, I was focused on not losing track of you. We were moving so fast,” she answered.

“Crap!” I went forward and poked my head into the bramble. “Dash? Twilight?”

Fluttershy came over and pulled gently on one of my wings. “Don’t go back in, we’ll get lost. Let’s fly up and see if we can find them.”

I pulled back and saw that we were in a clearing and could easily fly overhead. However, the forest was so thick I doubt we’d see anything below.

There was a rumbling sound as something big approached us. Seconds later, the bramble shattered and flew in every direction. I grabbed Fluttershy and dove to the side.

When the dust settled, we saw Applejack dragging Rarity through a large hole she had just bucked in the brambles. “Really, Applejack, is this necessary?” Rarity asked.

“Y’all were draggin’ yer hooves and lost sight of Dawn,” she answered. “Besides, did ya want me to just leave ya in there?”

“Thank you, I’m quite fine being out here in the open again Applejack.” Rarity stood up and began to pick debris out of her mane.

I looked at the bramble and my gaze wandered until I found another opening that hadn’t been smashed through. “Stay here, I’ll find them.” Before the other three could protest I crawled in and vanished.

This time I really was wandering aimlessly, not knowing where Twilight and Dash might be in the maze of thorns. It felt like the thorns were coming alive and trying to grab ahold of me, forcing me to keep moving and try to stay a step ahead of them. As I moved faster in my panic, more of the thorns began to catch on the flight suit and a couple managed to cut my skin, leaving a burning sensation.

At last I saw a purple glow ahead and found Twilight with a shimmering bubble around her. “Twilight, are you okay?” I asked.

“The vines are trying to strangle me!” Twilight was curled up inside her sphere of safety.

I looked around, taking a moment to calm myself down. None of the vines were moving. They all had sharp thorns, but I could see now it was only my panic that made them appear to be closing in around me.

“Twilight, it’s just claustrophobia, they’re not closing in around you. I need you to drop the bubble and crawl out,” I explained.

“No, I can feel them closing in!”

I pushed a hoof against the bubble to see if I could reach her, but it easily repelled my hoof. “Twilight, take a deep breath and look at me. You’re okay. Take my hoof, and crawl out.”

She took a couple breaths and looked at me. I smiled at her, and finally she let the spell shimmer and weaken. I was able to reach through and grabbed her hoof. “Thanks, Dawn.”

“Your welcome. Now, let the spell down and come out. Trust me.” I kept smiling as she let the spell fade completely, and the imposing vines were leaving her enough room to crawl forward.

I backed up and pulled her out from the spot she had gotten trapped in. This time I kept her close by so she didn’t get lost. After several minutes I found my way back to the cave, pushing myself to the side to let Twilight crawl out first.

Once I followed her out she leapt on me with a hug. “Thank you so much, Dawn!”

“You’re welcome,” I said. I tried to pry her off of me. “I need to go find Dash now.”

“I’m right here, Dude. I leave for five seconds and you’re hitting on Twilight?”

Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes and looked at her. “I’m not the one who got lost in the brambles, Dashie. As for Twilight… she just took the long way around, so I guess I was worried for nothing.”

“Thanks,” Twilight whispered.

I nodded, and soon all of the ponies were gathering up around us to check our injuries. Rarity and Twilight had lost their saddlebags in the maze. Manes aside, they were both fine. Applejack had been cut up more than the rest of us from her feat of strength to burst through the brambles. It was impressive considering Twilight couldn’t seem to force her way through with magic.

Fluttershy and Pinkie both were unscathed. I could understand Fluttershy, since she stuck so close to me. As for Pinkie, well apparently it wasn’t the first maze she crawled through.

I looked around at all the ponies who were sitting down now. “So, should we head inside the cave?” I gestured to the unassuming entrance, which seemed little more than a hole in the ground when looked at closely.

“Yeah, let’s just relax for a minute and catch our breath,” Twilight said.

“So I can’t wait any longer,” I said. I began to take my flight suit off for a moment, until it’d exposed my flank. “Twilight crashes my little romp with Dash this morning and doesn’t notice my Cutie Mark.”

Pinkie was first to gasp and rush to my side, followed more slowly by the others. “Wow, a rising sun! It’s perfect, well for you. Personally I like cakes and balloons and—what’s that?”

Twilight leaned in. “That’s a caduceus, a symbol for the medical field from ancient times.”

“Wow, are those two snakes and wings? And this means I can throw Dawn a party for his Cutie Mark—”

“And he got saving me from the Everfree,” Dash interrupted.

“Yeah, I fought off a twelve-foot tall Manticore too with my bare hooves,” I stated.

“Well, don’t forget the hydra or the grizzly bear,” Dash added.

“Oh, you fought off a grizzle bear?!” Pinkie asked. “Did he look like this?” She stood up on her hind legs and raised her forelegs in the air.

“Pinkie, they’re pulling your leg,” Twilight observed.

“Yeah, Ah reckon you did a fine bit of work to get that Cutie Mark, Dawn, but Ah’ve seen you at the Iron Pony and y’all pegasi couldn’t wrestle a grizzly,” Applejack said.

“Oh, but I did see Fluttershy wrestle a grizzly bear once,” Twilight stated. “Flung him on the ground like a sack of rice.”

“Oh, dear, that doesn’t sound like me…” Fluttershy gulped. “I did give one a massage once…”

The conversation began to break up into separate ones as the ponies got comfortable and rested for a moment.

I nodded and headed over to sit next to Dash. While we sat and waited to enter the cave and face whatever challenges there might be inside, I began to preen her wings and get all the leaves out of them. She gave me a soft smile and I wished we had come out here on a picnic and not a search and rescue party—so we could take the time to enjoy ourselves.

Author's Note:

And now you all see how horrible my self-editing skills are. Enjoy, I'm glad to be back!