• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen November 16th

Subsolar Drift

There is beauty in the way of things.


Rainbow Dash isn't bitter about the whole Mare-Do-Well incident. Or at least that's what she tells herself. Either way, she's not going to miss this chance for some harmless revenge pranks, and so she constructs a plan to prank all of her best friends, starting with Twilight Sparkle. All Dash needs is a quill and some paper.

Thanks to the amazing DShou for the cover image.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 466 )

Not bad. Not bad. :ajsmug: I'll read on.

We'll see if yours or Timaeus' story is better.

<3 DarqFox

:rainbowwild: Dashie... You're trapping yourself. :pinkiecrazy:

<3 DarqFox

Pretty good. May the best competitor win.

Hm, this is coming along well. I am finding the premise of this story rather enjoyable. I look forward to reading what else you put into this. Keep up the great writing!

I like it so far. Noticed a couple errors, but nothing too bad. At the end of the third paragraph, you wrote

It was a benefit of living in cloud home, but it was quite often too quiet which lead to Rainbow Dash talking to herself.

I feel like it should say "a cloud home," instead of just "cloud home."

And the other thing is when writing her thoughts. I imagine it like writing dialogue, so you should put a comma, not a period before the attribution. For example,

Why can I never focus when I need to? She asked herself.

Should be,

Why can I never focus when I need to? she asked herself.

Anyway, I'm not the best person for pointing out grammar issues.

Other than that, good work so far!

Horse apples! I new I should have went straight to the bottem and comented insted of reading the chapter first if I wanted first coment.

My goodness this is an adorable start.

2544531 I am confused? What is it like?

2544704 I remember seeing a different story with a similar idea :moustache:

:rainbowderp:All of a sudden I have a craving for Hawiian Pizza.

2544957 I do not remember its name ._.

2544958 Screw that, I'm thinkin' this nice little fire-roast pizza place down the road from my place: pineapple, mushrooms and artichokes. Oh yeah. :D

:twilightoops:oh man. you're way better that thought conveyance than I am. I need to step up my game.

:rainbowwild:Looking good so far, definitely going to keep reading.

2545313 It's not easy. I went through like twenty different ways of wording things but practice makes perfect.

:ajsleepy:I......I'm hooked. Damn you. Hope to see more soon!

2545353 The whole thing will be done by next Monday. That's the nice thing about contest pieces, they have deadlines!

well you seem to have found an excellent format for it. and you seem to have captured their personalities well too. Best of luck in the contest!

2544478 2544515 Thanks a lot! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy the rest as well!

2544661 Why thank you! It's good practice for the fluffy one-shot I'm working on for you!

2544529 Thank you very much!

Fave like right noe!

Yeah... I actually read the story and got first comments because I saw it the instant it went up (because I has no life other than writing and reading stories about magical talking ponies). Better luck next time, old sport. <3

TwiShy > TwiDash
But adorable nonetheless.

<3 DarqFox

this is really good i can't wait to see what happens next!

Very enjoyable!
I'll put this one down as a favorite, though it does leave me wondering what you could do with a shipfic without a deadline...
That would be a fun read! :pinkiehappy:

This is great, MOAR :flutterrage:, if you don't mind

My god Dash is a fucking prick... here's to hoping Twilight has an actual admirer and Dash burns.

Of course, this being a Twi-dash thing that's not likely... But I seriously hate Dash's reasoning.

And then there's Twilight's pretty much over-reaction to the second letter, but whatever. It's decent, keep it up.


Dash is an actual admirer; she just doesn't realize it, yet.

The last thought that went through her head before sleep claimed was that Twilight's blush would be the cutest thing when she read that letter. That night, she dreamed of Twilight Sparkle, rough seas, and soft sands.

Quick paced but an interesting premise. Favorited to see where it goes, but I would suggest slowing down.



I know that, I can see that, If you look at her reasoning for writing said letters she's still a gigantic A-hole.

Lemme see... Romance tag, "Secret Admirers" title, and Rainbow wanting to prank others.

Eeyup, this sounds fun :rainbowlaugh:

Vell...Zis cannot end vell.


I'm looking forward to when Dash gets caught. That can't be anything but hilarious.

I am entertained. Also, I will be using the term "magnum opium" from now on :rainbowlaugh:

You see now, Twilight? You see what happens when you convince Rainbow Dash to read books? This is what happens! I hope you are proud of yourself.

"a fake dragon costume tied to a bear"

Clearly, this is the greatest prank ever pranked in the history of pranks.

i can only ask one question
why pineapples?

I am suprised Twilight still hasn't gone to Rarity to ask for help, she's usually the mare the others turn to when they have romance problems.
Also, why do i feel that Twilight will go all "Lesson Zero" when she discovers that Dash wrote the letters.

First: Congrats on making the very top of the Feature Box with this!

Second: I'm enjoying this way more than I have any right to, especially since I'm supposedly competing against it. I'm enjoying this way more than my own entry, and I seem to have no problems with that. :twilightsmile:

'Tis hardly a deep and introspective work. But this is Dash we're talking about. For whom it is believable that eating some damned pineapple is number one on her priority list in life.

It is, however, quick and cute. And thus, I shall watch. Since, hey, why not? I'm in the mood for something snirkable and potentially adorable.

The two most commonly shipped ponies get shipped together often? Impossible!

Considering this is for a TwiDash contest, not likely in the near future.

This is for a contest??? :twilightoops:
I never knew. Well, that explains a lot then. I just thought you were yet another author caught up in the Twidash craze.
Well, that kinda makes me look like a fool. I'm sorry for acting sorta brash back there :applejackunsure:

All is forgiven! :twilightsmile: Oh, you should also probly know that Sub here is a regular TwiDash author (see his other story, "What We Lose") so he's been swallowed up for quite some time now (as have I). :derpytongue2:

I concur that Rainbow Dash isn't a saint in this story, but the show has proven more often than not that she can be a jerk. And as she realized herself, she's a lot more bitter (and hurt) than she first thought. It's still a horrible prank, especially to a close friend, but that's fully in character.

I found it a little creepy that Rainbow knew Twilight's morning routine so well, but that doesn't exactly surprise me; a prankster needs to know her targets, after all.

I've enjoyed some lines more than others;

'Her eyes sagged, heavy from the late hour. Her mind protested the work, sending her thoughts off in different directions to distract her,'

'She laughed, her voice cracking slightly, dry from lack of use,'

'she cackled, slightly loopy from the late hour but happy nonetheless,'

'“I've made my Sonic Rainboom of plans!”'

'she let loose her evil laugh. She'd spent many hours perfecting it, as a good pranker must, and used it whenever she had the opportunity,'

'turning around to let the room bask in the glory that was Rainbow Dash,' which was really in character,

'Dash's brow furrowed. I guess I'm more bitter than I thought. she realized. Whatever, it's not like it'll hurt her. She won't find who sent the letters and that'll be that. She'll forget it and move on. Dashes stomach churned slightly. She attributed it to her nerves and shook it off,' which shows than in spite of her bad decisions, she does have a heart,

'put herself in Twilight's horseshoes,'

'You've been craving pineapple a lot lately. It added, making her mouth water,'


'My revenge is so close I can almost taste it! (...) Or maybe that's just me imagining the pineapple!'

I also enjoyed the magnus opus part and the conversation with Tank.

As mentioned by some others, you have a few issues with said tags, such as 'Maybe it's enchanted. She reasoned.' instead of 'Maybe it's enchanted, she reasoned.'

I also found a few typos;

'but it was quite often too quiet which lead (led) to Rainbow Dash talking to herself,'

'“My greatest creation," she cackled,' where there is a double space


'focus on her friend(')s home.'

I'm not sure the 'she asked herself' in 'Why can I never focus when I need to? She asked herself' either.

'They're just clouds. That is what Rainbow Dash counted on as...' should be in the past tense since the rest of the entire story is in that tense.

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