//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Assessment // Story: As It Should Be // by JackobolTrades //------------------------------// The scent of ozone filled the air of Fluttershy’s cottage. The door hung on its hinges, blasted open. A small circle of char marred the cleanliness of the decoration. “Well, that was impressive.” Marwolaeth grunted. Fluttershy huddled behind the arch that led to the kitchen, her eyes cautiously peering around the doorframe. “Goodness! What… What happened?” “Sparkle exploded and left.” “Oh. N-Now when you say exploded…” “Changed colours and was set aflame.” “Ah. I was afraid of that. What happened?” “Sparkle does not appreciate competition.” “…What?” “Spike has begun to hoard books, and has taken it upon himself to start his own library. Sparkle does not support this course of action.” “Oh. That doesn’t seem like something Twilight would do.” “Might be a side effect of being the only librarian for some time, coupled with a fear of change, and some sort of big sister instinct for Spike, not wanting him to grow, and maybe she’s worried that he might be better at running a library than she is.” “That’s quite insightful, Mister Pydredd.” “Years of practice. Now, about that tea?” “Oh, um…” Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane and scuffed her hoof. “I dropped the teapot when Twilight… exploded. The tea spilled.” “Ah, that’s a shame. Here, let me help you brew another batch.” “Um, if it’s all right with you, Mister Pydredd, I’d rather go check on Twilight and Spike.” “Of course. I will take my leave, then.” Marwolaeth ducked underneath the doorframe. “Okay. Feel free to come back later.” Marwolaeth nodded his assent and began walking towards Ponyville. Half way to town, Rainbow Dash tried to dive bomb him. “Hey!” Rainbow Dash cried as she pulled up from her steep dive, impacting her front hooves with Marwolaeth’s chest. He neither flinched nor moved, and Rainbow Dash crumpled against his chest plate and rolled to the ground. “Yes, Dash?” Rainbow Dash sat up and shook her head as her eyes wobbled in their sockets. She stood up and shook her body before glaring up at Marwolaeth. “What’d you do to Spike?!” She flew up to press her snout against Marwolaeth’s visor. “Twilight’s been tearing through town looking for him, and last anyone saw, he was with you!” “My suggestion would be to check the bookstores or the library. I gave him some fatherly advice about the power of knowledge.” “Oh yeah? Well- Well, you’re not his dad!” “No, but either he has none, or his father is not sufficiently knowledgeable in Draconic rearing and caretaking.” “Yeah, well stop it! You’re worrying Twilight! And even worse, you made me wake up from my nap!” “Why, Dash, are you trying to get me to stop giving advice to my friend?” Marwolaeth put a hand to his chest and feigned a hurt voice. “Why, I bet if you had your way, you would have me lie to Spike about his lineage and biological needs so that he could be small forever! Would you really have me betray his trust like that, Rainbow Dash?” “I- No, that’s-” Rainbow Dash let out an angry grunt. “Stop twisting what I mean! And stop using big words!” “Why, most certainly, Rainbow Dash, it would be remiss of me to transcend my bounds.” Marwolaeth heaved a melodramatic sigh. “I suppose that I shall abscond to my temporary abode, so that I can decompose in peace as you all continue your perfectly hum drum existences.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her mane. “Ugh, you sound like Rarity. Just keep your troublemaking to a minimum, and I won’t have to clean your clock!” “Why, Dash, is that a threat?” “Sure, whatever. Now, I’ve got a nap to get to, so go do… Whatever it is that aliens do during the day.” “Naturally.” Rainbow Dash flew into the sky, where Marwolaeth watched her land on a cloud, and surreptitiously move it lower and behind him. He shook his head and walked into town, acutely aware of Rainbow Dash following him. When he reached Ponyville, Marwolaeth began to wander, taking in the sights and memorizing the layout of the streets. Twilight passed him by multiple times, and she gave him dirty looks each time. Marwolaeth finally entered a shop when his eyes caught a familiar glint of purple scales. A bell above the door chimed daintily as it hit the door and his head as he crouched through the door. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique! I’ll be right out!” “Hey Pydredd. What brings you here?” “You, Spike. Twilight has been looking for you.” Spike chuckled. “Yeah, I know. She’s passed by, like, five times, already. It’s like she’s not even looking in the stores or through the windows.” “Hm. Interesting. So what are you doing in this…” Marwolaeth surveyed the shop full of brightly dressed ponnequins. “…Dress shop?” “Oh, well I just wanted to tell Rarity about my plan. She seemed happy and wanted to make some donations! And she gave me an idea!” “Do tell.” “I can just make the library my hoard!” “Did you or Sparkle buy the books?” “Uh, well no, they were here first.” “Then they are not yours. Especially not yours to hoard.” “Oh… That makes sense, I guess.” “No shortcuts on this, I am afraid.” “Nah, that’s okay. Wouldn’t want to shortcut the growing up process, right?” “Ah, here we are, Spikey-Wikey! Now, welcome to- Oh, hello Mister Pydredd!” “Rarity.” “What brings you to my humble shop?” “Just checking up on Spike.” “Oh, such a dear, isn’t he?” Marwolaeth looked down at Spike, who was staring at Rarity, drooling lightly with his hands clasped to his chest, with hearts in his eyes. Literally, his eyes had been covered by two pink hearts. “…Something like that. Is he- …Does he have heart stickers over his eyelids?” “Oh, dear, no. He just does that sometimes. The magic of harmony can be a tad… unpredictable at times, and pulls things like this, sometimes.” “I think… Are they beating along with his heartbeat?” “As far as I can tell. Again, magic of harmony and such.” “Huh. So, I’m to assume that this ‘magic of harmony’ is your world’s latent magic?” “Yes. It causes things like Spikey-Wikey’s adorable eye-hearts, or towns to abruptly burst into song. Twilight can probably explain it better than I can.” “I see.” As Marwolaeth turned back to Spike to shake him back to reality, he heard a noise emanating from outside. It was faint, but clearly supposed to be music. He looked out the window to look at the bare street. “…Do you hear that?” “Hear what, darling?” “Music.” “Hmm, now that you mention it, I do. It’s probably just some townspony who’s found a new love or some such.” “Mm.” Spike shook himself from his daze and took a deep breath. Orchestral music began to play, seemingly in the middle of a song, originating from nowhere. Spike began to sing about the woes of being seen as a child despite being old enough to be legally an adult. As the chorus faded away, Spike remained stock still. “Oh dear. We’re caught up in a duet.” “The other party, I am guessing, is what we’re hearing outside.” “Quite likely.” “Say, what happens if the song gets interrupted?” “Well… I’m not sure. Nopony’s ever tried it before. I’m sure that there would be some sort of backlash from the unspent magic buildup.” “Hm… An experiment for another time. Perhaps if another townspony has a song.” “I suppose, but-” Rarity was cut off by another burst of music from Spike. Rarity was frozen in place as Spike began pirouetting between her legs, singing of his hidden love for her. Spike ended his song with his back to Rarity, behind her flank. Rarity began where she had left off. “-Why not this one? I know that Twilight would be interrupting the first song she could, if she could manage it.” Marwolaeth narrowed his eyes at Rarity. “Did you… Not just hear all of that?” “All of what, darling?” “You just… froze and let Spike crawl all over you.” “Ah, that. I must have become part of the song.” Rarity giggled. “Dear me, and I didn’t even notice!” Marwolaeth looked out the windows once more to view the parade of prancing ponies gallivanting down the road, singing and dancing with Twilight in the lead, winging her way towards Rarity’s boutique. Spike picked up the tune and began climbing Marwolaeth’s leg as he did so. Even Rarity seemed to get caught up in the trend, and began lamenting Spike’s badly concealed crush, worrying for his feelings and wondering if she would begin to return them if Spike began to grow up. The finale of the song began to play as Spike sat himself on Marwolaeth’s shoulders, curled around his helmet. Twilight burst into the shop, singing about brothers and sons and lovers. Rainbow Dash pressed herself against one of the boutique’s windows, muttering in tune about keeping Marwolaeth in line. Applejack danced past in the street, singing about her farm and protecting it from varmints, and how Marwolaeth could be the best thing to happen to the orchard since the vampire fruit bat reserve. Rarity pressed herself against Marwolaeth’s leg, questioning how she felt about Spike and his plans. Fluttershy followed Twilight into the boutique, echoing Twilight’s tune but in a more worried tone, fearing for herself if Spike grew to a full sized dragon. Outside, the entire town mirrored sections of Twilight’s lament. The song reached a frenzied crescendo in a cacophony of strangely harmonic pitches and lyrics as all of the ponies gathered around Marwolaeth, singing about Spike and how they love him, no matter what he does, with Spike hugging Marwolaeth’s helmet and singing about how it is all for Rarity and Twilight and the ponies outside circling Carousel Boutique. As the song began to wind down, Pinkie Pie burst in from the back room of the shop and complained, in tune, about being left out and nopony telling her that there was a song happening. The final note of the song sounded, and suddenly Marwolaeth was covered with six ponies and one dragon, all hugging him. Though, to be fair, Rainbow Dash looked more like she was attempting to put Marwolaeth’s arm in a headlock. The group held their pose for a long minute, with Marwolaeth turning his head every which way, trying to make sense of the situation. Spike turned with him, attached as he was to his helmet. Eventually the ponies disengaged, with everypony except Spike, Rarity and Twilight exiting the building and returning to their daily activities. Twilight used her magic to pluck Spike from Marwolaeth’s shoulders and pulled him into a tender hug. “Oh Spike, don’t worry me like that.” “I’m sorry, Twilight.” Spike sniffed. “I guess I should’ve talked to you before diving right in, huh?” Twilight chuckled. “Yeah. I just… When Pydredd said that he’d told you how to grow… I was so afraid that I was going to lose you to your greed again.” Spike ran his claws through Twilight’s mane. “It’s okay, Twilight. I know that you were just worried. And I was going to ask for your help to keep me in check.” “I will, Spike. I’ll help you in any way that I can.” Rarity sniffed, her eyes watering, a wavering smile hidden poorly behind a raised hoof as Twilight nuzzled Spike. Marwolaeth stood back, arms folded, watching. Twilight broke away from Spike and approached Marwolaeth, head hung low. “And… I’m sorry for exploding at you like I did.” “Perfectly understandable. No harm done, except for some spilt tea.” Twilight giggled. “Acceptable losses, I suppose.” Marwolaeth nodded. “I must say, that was impressive.” Twilight stared at Marwolaeth blankly. “What was?” “The entire song and dance routine with the entire town.” “Oh, yeah. That. I’ve always wanted to study the phenomenon, but I always get caught up in the Magic of Harmony and end up forgetting.” “Interesting. I, myself, have become… intrigued by it as well. I’ve seen latent magical fields that directly influence planes before, but nothing on this scale. Perhaps I can assist you in your studies.” Twilight rubbed a hoof against her chin. “Hm… It could work. We’d have to wait for another song to begin.” “Of course. And any payment that I am to receive for this research is to go directly to Spike.” “Uh… Okay? Why?” “I have no use for money, and it will expedite his endeavors to grow.” “I guess that makes sense. On that subject, I hope that you’ll assist in keeping Spike in line?” “Of course. It was my idea, after all. I’m also the only one here that knows enough about dragons to properly moderate his hoard. Clearly, I need to talk to the dragon’s leadership on this plane.” Twilight scoffed. “Good luck with that. The dragons don’t take kindly to strangers on their lands.” “I don’t need luck.” Marwolaeth gestured to the veritable armoury that he carried on his person. “I have skill.” “Be that as it may…” Rarity called. “If you are to be meeting with the ruling class- Dragons, ponies or otherwise- You’ll need something more appropriate than that armour.” “No.” “Oh, but darling, just think of how dashing you’d look in a nice suit!” “The armour stays on.” “Oh, tosh. You have to take the armour off sometime.” “Perhaps, but not here, and certainly not in front of anypony.” “While I admire your modesty, I must insist.” “I will not take off the armour.” “But Pydredd!” Rarity began whining. “You would be the first of your kind to present yourself to the nobles! If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. I would be renowned as the first pony to design clothing for extra-equestrian beings!” “No.” Rarity pouted and fluttered her eyelashes. “Please?” “No.” “Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” Rarity grappled with Marwolaeth’s leg. “No.” Twilight and Spike watched the exchange with amusement. Rarity tried every trick in her book to try and get Marwolaeth out of his armour, but he stone-walled her attempts. Eventually, Twilight broke in. “Um, perhaps you can compromise?” Marwolaeth rubbed the front of his helmet with one hand. “Fine.” “Yes!” Rarity crowed, levitating a length of measuring tape. “How about we leave the boots and helmet on, and put the rest of you in a suit?” “No. Design something to go over the armour.” “But-” “None of the armour is coming off. I will not capitulate on this.” Rarity huffed. “But surely-” Marwolaeth cut Rarity off with a raised hand. “There is a saying that I like to use in situations like this. ‘I am an immovable object, and you are most certainly not an unstoppable force.’ You will not see me without armour, and that is something that you will have to come to terms with.” Rarity grumbled underneath her breath. “Fine. But don’t think that this is over, Marwolaeth Pydredd.” “Oh, I don’t think it’s over. I know it is.” Rarity growled at Marwolaeth, but proceeded to take his measurements with his armour on. Rarity seemed to grow somewhat more frustrated as she realized that her usual revenge on an ornery customer, ‘accidently’ jabbing them with needles as she worked, would not work on Marwolaeth, due to his armour. Marwolaeth watched Rarity levitate the armada of needles and bolts of fabric with interest. "Quite the skill for levitation." "Tosh, it's nothing. Especially compared to Twilight." "Nevertheless, that skill could be useful. Do you know how to defend yourself?" "Well... A lady must always be ready to protect her virtue..." "Good enough." Finally, Rarity had the measurements taken down, and had pieces of muslin pinned in place in the shape of a vest and pants combination. “There. Now, how do you want it coloured?” “Surprise me.” Rarity grinned. “Ooh, are you sure about that?” “Keep in mind that if I do not approve, I will not wear it.” Rarity scowled. “Hmph. Very well. I suppose that I shall put it somewhat low on my priority list. Give the ideas time to percolate, as it were.” “Splendid. Twilight, Spike?” Throughout the ordeal, Spike and Twilight had been brainstorming ideas on how to properly regulate Spike’s growth. They looked up as Marwolaeth approached. “Yes?” “Rarity is finished. Follow me.” Twilight watched as Marwolaeth ducked under the doorframe. “Uh… Okay?” She set Spike on her back and followed Marwolaeth. “You are a mage, correct?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I… guess? I know a lot of spells, if that’s what you’re asking.” “Do you know any combat spells?” “Uh… Not really. I can cast a basic shield and fire bursts of telekinetic force, but that’s basic magic taught to most unicorns.” “I am going to return to Sweet Apple Acres. In the meantime, please learn some combat spells.” “What? Why?” “Pydredd’s gonna help us all learn how to defend ourselves!” Spike chimed. “He figured that he could rest easier if we could all keep ourselves safe so that he doesn’t have to keep everypony in one place so that he can watch us.” “Oh. I guess that makes sense, but… We don’t really need to defend ourselves, do we?” “Celestia seems to think so. That’s why I’m here, after all.” Marwolaeth shrugged. “I… guess I can read up on some of the more… dangerous spells.” “Good. I will be at Sweet Apple Acres if you need me.” Twilight nodded and Marwolaeth split off. The next day passed by, with Marwolaeth alternating chores at the farm and practicing with his new scythe. Applejack came to the barn early on the fourth day to see Marwolaeth standing in the middle of the floor, scythe assembled and held loosely in one hand and the farm’s old scythe sharpened and cleaned in the other. “Today begins the first day of your training, Jack. I will take one suggestion, and one suggestion only. Do you want to learn the blade before or after the day’s chores?” “Before. Gotta be fresh fer these kinda things, Ah reckon.” “Good choice. Follow.” Marwolaeth led Applejack to the clearing where he had set up the training dummies earlier in the week. Each pile of wood was notched and scratched, a testament to the amount of practice that they had been subjected to. Marwolaeth handed Applejack the farm scythe. “As a quadruped, you have a natural advantage when using polearms, especially a unidirectional sweeping weapon such as the scythe. Use one hoof to hold the scythe, and brace the haft against your neck.” Applejack did so, keeping the blade high behind her back. “Good. Now, you can pivot the scythe around your neck to swing it, using your hooves to guide it. We’ll work on basic technique some other time. For now, safety and proper handling.” Marwolaeth and Applejack spent the next hour going over the shift of weight in the scythe, where the sharp edges were, and the safest method of carrying the tool. When chore time rolled around, Marwolaeth decreed that they would rise much earlier in the following days so as to maximize the time that they had. After chores, Applejack was eager to continue their lessons, but Marwolaeth declined, telling her to practice what he had already taught her. Marwolaeth fashioned a lightweight cover for the scythe’s blade out of foam, and told Applejack to always practice with the cover on, so as to avoid hurting herself and others. After instructing Applejack on safety, Marwolaeth walked to town and made a beeline for a thin column of smoke that originated from Twilight’s library. He arrived to see that the yard behind the tree had several scorch marks and craters. Twilight was sitting in the middle of the yard, staring intently at a book held in her telekinetic grip. “Practicing?” Marwolaeth asked, staying out of the blast zone. “Yep.” Spike popped up from a window next to Marwolaeth. “She’s kept it quiet, but ponies are getting nervous.” “Well, at least she’s trying. How’s the hoard coming along?” “Pretty good, so far. Twilight said that she’d try a terraforming spell to hollow out one of the hills nearby for me to start my hoard in, ‘cuz we can’t build a house that big inside the town limits.” “Good foresight. Cover the entrance of the cave with on large door so that you can still get in and out, and put a pony-sized door in the bottom of the big door.” Spike put a claw to his chin. “Hmm… That’s a good idea. We were wondering about the draft that caves tend to get.” “You’ll also want to put in at least one chimney chute in the roof. Dragons produce a lot of smoke, and you need some way for it to escape out of the top.” “Right.” Spike began to write on a scroll that he had pulled out from under the window sill. “Line the walls of your cave in bookshelves.” “Um… Okay? Why?” “You shouldn’t keep books lying in a pile. It’s bad for them and severely unorganized. You wouldn’t want to sleep on a pile of books, anyway.” “That makes sense. Anything else?” “Decorate the cave like you would a home, because that’s what it is. It’ll also make ponies who visit your library more comfortable.” “Cool.” A small explosion blew dirt onto Marwolaeth’s armour. “Blast-proof the ceiling and walls.” “Good idea.” “Fireproof everything.” “Already had that one.” “Keep your meat far away from the living area, preferably in an underground icebox.” “Okay… Meat?” “Did Sparkle not tell you? Dragons are omnivores, almost literally, but digest meat much more efficiently than plant matter.” “…Oh.” “Don’t worry. Fluttershy can supply you with meat until you learn how to hunt.” “I… Okay. But what about gems?” “Dragons’ version of candy.” “Oh. But… what if I go crazy and try to eat a pony?” “Unlikely. Dragons rarely go into a feeding frenzy because they rarely need to eat in the first place. They tend to avoid eating things that can talk back, anyway.” “Oh. Whew. That’s a load off of my mind.” “Glad to be of service.” A spray of slush coated Marwolaeth and the window that Spike was looking out of. Marwolaeth wiped a section of the window off. “That’s why I’m inside.” “Duly noted. I can see that I am not needed to help here. Do you know where I can find Diane?” “You mean Pinkie? She should be at Sugarcube Corner.” “Thank you. Good day.” Marwolaeth turned and walked into town, narrowly avoiding a stray lightning bolt from a flurry that Twilight had begun channeling. He nodded to Big Mac when he passed the Apple’s stall in the market. Pinkie Pie was standing outside of Sugarcube Corner, eyeing the passing ponies until she say Marwolaeth approaching. “Ah ha!” Pinkie screeched. “I knew someone was coming to meet me!” She zipped up to Marwolaeth and began bouncing around him. “And I said someone because my twitches were similar to the ones for somepony’s gonna come meet me, but different enough to be someone that’s not a pony, and it’s you!” “Twitches?” “Yahuh!” Pinkie bobbed her head up and down rapidly. “I get these twitches that tell me the future! I call them my Pinkie Sense! Twitchy tail!” Pinkie suddenly shouted and dove underneath the nearest bench, as did all of the ponies in the vicinity. Marwolaeth felt one of his eyebrows raising as Pinkie gestured wildly for him to get down. Suddenly something fell on his head, eliciting a high pitched gong from his helmet that rang in his ears. The offending object seemed to have split down the middle, and fell to the ground on both sides of him. Marwolaeth looked down and saw two halves of a clay pot at his feet. As he looked down, the dirt and flower that they contained fell off of his head. “Huh.” Marwolaeth looked up to see a sheepish mare holding the shutters to her window. “Sorry!” The pony called. “No harm done.” Marwolaeth called back to the mare. He looked down to Pinkie, who was once again standing in front of him. “Twitchy tail means that something’s gonna fall from the sky!” “Precognitive tells. How do they work?” “I’unno!” “Magic it is.” “That was fast! Twilight couldn’t believe it at first, and hooked me up to this neat-o machine, and followed me around a lot to try and figure it out, but even she couldn’t do it, and she’s one of the smartest ponies in the world! But my Pinkie Sense isn’t why you’re here, is it, Pink Cherry?” “No, it is not. I came to ask you if you had any combat abilities.” “Combat? Oh, you mean fighting! Well, sure! Back when I was a filly, my dad taught me how to keep those old petrified timberwolves away from our crop of rocks! I can shoot a slingshot, and a cannon, and a riffle, and my party cannon, and I can punch with the force of a thousand suns, or so my pappy tells me! Ooh, and I can move really quickly, but nopony knows how or why, and I always have a stash of everything just in case of an everything emergency! Cupcake?” Marwolaeth took the proffered cupcake that had been pulled from Pinkie’s nest of a mane. “Cannons, huh?” “Yepperooni!” “Interesting. Mind showing me?” “Well…” Pinkie elongated her l. “I would, but I’m only allowed to fire my party cannon inside the town. They think that I might hurt somepony if I use the big cannon within the limits of civilization.” Marwolaeth nodded. “Understandable. Can you punch me?” Pinkie scoffed. “Well of course I can, but why would I want to?” “Perhaps you don’t, but I would like to experience for myself this punch that you have.” “I dunno… Ponies usually don’t like being punched…” “Well, I am no pony. Go ahead.” Marwolaeth spread his arms. “Punch my chest.” “Well, alright, but only because you insist, and I’m not getting any ‘somepony’s gonna get hurt’ twitches.” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a set of angular sunglasses that she perched on her snout before jumping as far back as she could from Marwolaeth. Pinkie took a steady stance and charged at Marwolaeth. Halfway across the street, she jumped, taking a bipedal stance, rearing a forehoof behind her head. She threw herself into a series of mid-air spins, all the while keening a throaty war cry. With one final turn, Pinkie’s punching hoof connected with Marwolaeth’s breastplate. A loud gong echoed through Ponyville, followed by a smash. Silence reigned over the town. A cloud of dust settled over the smashed remains of a set of empty crates. Pinkie walked up to the crates, a worried frown intruding upon her ever-present smile. Suddenly, a gale of laughter erupted from the pile of boxes. One metallic hand shot up from the rubble, followed by a shoulder and head, as Marwolaeth sat up, shaking with laughter. “Now that’s what I call a punch!” Marwolaeth wheezed. “Goodness! Are you okay, Mister Pydredd?” Fluttershy trotted up to the wreckage, a bag of celery in her mouth and various other vegetables piled in her saddlebags. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Marwolaeth chuckled, standing up. A deep, hoof shaped indent was imprinted onto Marwolaeth’s chestplate with cracks running up and down the length of the piece of armour. “Ah, gonna have to fix that, later. Might keep the hoofprint, though.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” Pinkie Pie asked, circling Marwolaeth, looking for more damage. Marwolaeth waved her off. “Bah, I’ve had worse. That punch, however, was impressive. You’ll be fine.” “Okay! I gotta get back to work, though. Bye, Fluttershy! Bye Portmanteau!” Pinkie waved to her two friends and pronked into Sugarcube Corner. “My. I didn’t know that Pinkie could do that!” “I guess she likes to keep it under wraps. But that punch…” Marwolaeth chuckled. “She won’t need my help.” “Your help?” “Ah, yes, I hadn’t gotten to you, yet. I’m making sure that all of my charges can defend themselves, so that I don’t have to be there to keep you safe.” “Oh, that sounds… nice.” “Indeed. It looks like I won’t have to worry about Pinkie, though.” “No, she can take care of herself. So, um, you were going to ask me about my safety?” “Right, right. Can you defend yourself?” “Um… I guess. I really don’t like to fight, though… Um, usually when somecritter gets cranky and starts a fight, I usually let my bear friend, Garfunkel, split the fight up.” “A bear, huh? …That’d work. Animal companions. I’ll still have to make sure that you can take care of yourself, but I can work on you last, since you should be safe enough with Garfunkel.” “Oh, um, okay.” Marwolaeth pulled himself to his feet and began walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. “Well, I must go ensure that Jack is alright. If you could make sure that Sparkle doesn’t destroy her library, I would be grateful.” “Oh, sure. Good day, Mister Pydredd!” On the trail to Sweet Apple Acres, Marwolaeth was once again accosted by Rainbow Dash, who crashed into his breastplate again. Marwolaeth braced himself lightly as she collided with his chest and slid off again. “Ugh, I have to remember not to fly into you like that.” Rainbow Dash muttered, rubbing her head. She took her hoof away and saw it flecked with blood. When she looked at Marwolaeth’s chest, she could see where blood had begun to seep through the cracks inside of the hoofprint on Marwolaeth’s armour. “Hah-ba-ba-guh-” “Yes, Dash?” “Y-You’re bleeding!” “Am I?” Marwolaeth looked down at himself. “Huh. So I am. Eh, it’ll fix itself.” “Are-Are you okay?” “I’m fine. I just had Diane punch me as hard as she could.” “You what?!” Rainbow Dash flew up into Marwolaeth’s face. “You had Pinkie Punch you? As hard as she could?” “Yeah.” “That’s… That’s stupid! She breaks rocks with punches like those! Splits boulders in two!” “Well, it looks like I am tougher than boulders. You wanted something?” “We gotta get you to the hospital! Oh man, oh man…” Rainbow Dash began pushing at Marwolaeth’s back, trying to turn him around. Marwolaeth didn’t move. “No need for the hospital. It’s just a scratch. I’ll be fixing it up later tonight.” “I just- I don’t- Can you at least cover it up?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “If you’re queasy around blood, just turn the other way.” “I just- Can’t you- Oh, Celestia it’s in my hair, isn’t it?” Rainbow Dash zoomed into Sweet Apple Acres yelling for Applejack to lend her the shower. Marwolaeth shook his head and headed for his training clearing, where he knelt by the pond and removed the front of his breastplate. He set it to one side and began to clean his wound with water. It was exactly as he had said, a scratch from where a sliver of metal had poked through his leather underarmour and broken his skin. He found the errant spike of metal and gently bent it back into place before pouring water onto the breastplate to wash the blood away. He had cleaned himself and was about to begin sealing the cracks when he heard a pony crashing through the orchard towards him. “Pydredd! Pydredd, are y’all okay?” He heard Applejack shout, as she broke into the clearing. “I’m fine. Dash sent you?” Marwolaeth stood up and turned to Applejack. “Yeah, she said y’all were bleedin’!” “It was just a scratch.” “Oh.” Applejack sighed. “Guess Dash kinda overreacted, huh?” “Just a little. She seems a bit queasy about blood.” Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, never did like it. Say, Pydredd, you left your armour off.” “So I did.” “Is that what your skin looks like?” “No. This is a secondary set of armour to prevent chafing, made out of leather.” “Leather? As in…” “The tanned and cured skin of a dead animal, yes.” “Huh.” Applejack grunted before falling onto the ground in a dead faint. Marwolaeth sighed and shook his head. “These ponies are all much too sensitive.” Applejack slowly opened her eyes to the comforting sound of wind rustling the leaves of the apple trees. She seemed sluggish and at peace for the moment. And then Marwolaeth snapped his fingers in her face. “Jack. Wake up.” Applejack sucked in a long gasp and scuttled her way to a sitting position with her back against a tree. “Y-Y’all keep to yerself, y’hear?” Applejack pointed a shaking hoof at Marwolaeth. “Ya- Ya jus’ leave mah cows alone!” Marwolaeth scratched his head. “Cows? What would I need a cow for?” “Ya- Y’all’re a carnivore! Yer gonna kill ‘em an’ eat ‘em an’ wear their skins!” Marwolaeth let out a throaty sigh and covered his faceplate with his hand. “Jack, I am not going to eat and/or wear your cattle. If you’ll recall, I am bound to obey a prohibition on killing.” “Y-” Applejack gulped and put her hoof down. “Yer not gonna eat ‘em? But you wear their skins!” “Yes I do. Because it is comfortable, durable, and flexible. I would further point out that I myself did not kill the animals used to make my armour, merely bought their pre-killed and treated skins.” “Oh… Ah’m sorry, Pyddred, Ah’m bein’ foalish, ain’t Ah?” “Yes you are. But that is understandable, considering your herbivorous, prey animal biology and peaceful culture.” “Ah guess… It’s just… Ya seem ta do a lot o’ killin’.” “That is my primary use, yes.” Applejack chuckled sourly. “Cain’t imagine why Celestia hired ya, if’n that’s what y’all do.” “I have my suspicions. They involve the training that I am giving you. Speaking of, let us return to the house. I must speak with Dash.” “A’right.” At the farmhouse, Marwolaeth heard Rainbow Dash shivering underneath the nozzle of a hose. She glanced up at the behemoth as he approached and began to turn her head before she shook it and took a closer look at his chest. “Uh… What happened to your chest? It was all broken and…” Rainbow Dash shuddered. “Bloody.” “Say, she’s got a point. Yer armour’s all fixed. When’d that happen?” “While you were unconscious. Was simple enough to fix.” “Really, how long was Ah out?” “Few seconds.” “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’d you do to conk AJ out?” “I wear leather underneath my armour.” “Oh… Dude, that’s sick.” “So I’ve been told. You had something to say before you flew off?” “Uh… Oh, right. Pinkie told me that you were evaluating us all, and I was gonna get the drop on you and show you my stuff.” “I see. Well then. Show me your stuff.” “Right. Try to keep up!” Rainbow Dash reared up onto her hind legs, using her wings to keep her balance, and began to throw jabs with her forehooves. “Stop right there.” “Hah, intimidated ya, huh?” “Hardly. If you are going to demonstrate your skills, actually use them. Hit me.” “Are you sure?” “I survived Pie’s punch that, as I’m told, ‘splits boulders,’ with ‘the power of a thousand suns.’ I think I can handle some normal punches.” “Uh… Alright.” Rainbow Dash once again reared onto her hind hooves and began dancing around Marwolaeth, peppering him with rapid kicks with her forehooves that sounded tinny rings when they landed, interspersed with flurries of kicks from her hind legs as she spun in the air. She finished with a mighty overhead chop that rung against Marwolaeth’s helmet with a loud, hollow gong. “Well? How was that?” “Pitiable.” “What? Say that to my face!” Rainbow Dash flew up to peer between the slits in Marwolaeth’s helmet. “That show was just that. A show. You will not defeat an opponent with soft taps like those.” “Yeah, well I was going easy on ya!” “Try again, then. And don’t hold back.” Rainbow Dash growled. “You asked for it.” The next few minutes were spent with Applejack’s ears covered and Winona howling in the distance as Rainbow Dash elicited a high pitched humming from Marwolaeth’s armour, the sounds of the individual strikes landing melding together as she worked her way around and up until at last she sounded the final gong from Marwolaeth’s helmet. “Heh…” Rainbow Dash panted. “How was that, ya big grump?” “Better. You almost managed to dent my armour. Work on your stamina.” “Oh come on!” Rainbow Dash moaned. “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?” “Yes there is. Pie managed to do it.” Marwolaeth gestured to the hoof shaped indent in his chest. “Pinkie, huh?” Rainbow Dash murmured, rubbing her chin. “Indeed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must instruct Jack in the proper use of a scythe.” “Ahuh, I’ll let you get right on that.” Rainbow Dash started, as she flew away, ending up yelling from the air. And so the days went, with Marwolaeth dividing his time between farm chores, teaching Applejack how to fight with a scythe, helping Spike plan his library, and overseeing any gathering that his charges put together. While chaperoning one such lunch, Marwolaeth tracked six feathered bolts as they fell from the sky and landed on the street next to him. His eye quickly picked out the important details: Chainmail, swords, claws, beaks. "Trouble." He muttered to himself.