//------------------------------// // Eaten by a Grue // Story: Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story) // by RazortheAwesome //------------------------------// You'd better turn on the lights, or you'll get eaten by a grue. Make certain to not get eaten by a grue. IT IS PITCH BLACK! YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY A GRUE! IT IS DARK, YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY A GRUE. You've never really played Zork so you're not quite sure what a grue even is. You're also quite certain that they don't exist. Then again, you are in a land of magical, talking, pastel colored ponies right now. So they might exist.... Oh well, given that you've been in this room for god knows how long and you haven't been eaten yet, its safe to assume that there are no grues in this room. So you're safe, at least from them. Whatever they are. Suddenly acquire night vision. try to find a pair of night vision goggles, then suddenly you hear a Metal Gear RAY coming for you and you flee. If only that were possible. Even though your eyes are quickly adjusting to the darkness of the dark room, you still can't see very well in it, and spontaneously evolving night vision isn't going to happen. You're also quite sure that whoever put you in this room was smart enough not to leave any night vision goggles around for now. Also you'll start worrying about Metal Gears after you stop worrying about the hind helicopters. You can find a way out like a normal person, then again you're not normal in the head. You feel as if the best course of action is to find a way out of this dark room, but how do you go about doing that? Well thats easy, you just scream and listen to the bouncing soundwaves which reveal that you are, in fact, in a nazi concentration camp with a pony hitler watching over you holding a wip in his mouth. To the left the Burger King is chained up next to you, but you dont care cause you always found him creepy anyways. You then realize you cant actually do ecolocation and are probably suffering from sever brain damage. scream "OH F*CK MY LIFE!" and then proceed curse everything in the universe Panic. Ask where you are. Brighten up the room with a sing-a-long! (A happy sing-a-long) Start parkouring. Realise that you have become the man from Pit and Pendelum by Edgar Allen Poe and then shout, "WHY DIDN'T I DODGE?!?!?" Use you badass resourcefulness skills you've acquired through watching Man VS Wild. Start navigating around the dark the way bats do: echolocation. You talk a moment to calmly collect yourself. You sit where you are, take a deep breath...... And then scream at the top of your lungs. "OH FUCK MY LIFE WHERE AM I WHY DIDN'T I DODGE!!??" You shout to the empty room as you get up and start running around the room. You run to your left and run into a barrel of... something. No, really... there are barrels down here. Undeterred, you climb up onto the barrel and then step onto another, and then another, and then you jump off. You are seriously parkouring the hell out of this dark room right now. You also fail to realize that you already answered one of the questions you asked in the previous chapter (not the pony kombat one). "LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!" You sing to yourself as you jump from one barrel to the next before you move on to sing the whole song. Unfortunately about half way through the song you fall off a barrel in a failed attempt to jump to another one and land face first on the ground. Thankfully nothing was broken. "OW!!" You scream to yourself. Suddenly, as you pull yourself off the floor you realize something. The fall must have knocked the panic right out of you. You suddenly remember all those times you watched shows about bats on animal planet and remember how they move around in the dark. You also remember, that you are a bawler boss badass, and badasses DO NOT LET THINGS LIKE THIS GET THEM DOWN!!!! "LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!!" You yell out again. The sounds hits the wall, it bounces back and hits your ears. You know where the the exit is now AND START RUNNING FOR IT WITH YOUR ARMS FLAILING!!! wander around aimlessly with your arms out, trying to feel for something......only after a while you trip over something, and because you were flailing your arms, you didn't use them to protect your nose, and you fall flat on your face in a most painful manner, possibly breaking your nose in the process Run into the wall! Unfortunately you run straight into a wall. You thought you could run through the wall and break it down, the wall thought it could break you. THE WALL WAS RIGHT!!!! You hit the wall face first and fall flat on your ass again. "Ow..." You say again as you lay on your back in pain. Your nose hurts quite a bit, but you don't think its broken. You're quite certain you know what a broken nose feels like, this isn't it. How do you know what a broken nose feels like? Lets find a way out of this dark room and then we'll contemplate that. Think about how the Fack everything came to this. From one night of sleeping, to being chased by a unicorn, saved by one, and then tied up by one and now in a cold dark room. Ignore all the above suggestions and calmly, rationally, take time to assess your day so far. As you lay on the ground, your mind wanders and you think about everything that happened to lead up to this. You woke up and just found yourself here with Twilight standing over you. You ran from her after accidentally ripping her book, which turned out to be a copy of the Pony Sutra. From there you ran into a marketplace where you met an orange pony in a stetson hat named Applejack who refused to help you. From there you flipped over her apple stand and used the distraction to get away from her and Twilight. Then you ran into Lyra and Bon Bon who took you in and got you high. Twilight and Applejack then somehow found out where you were and kicked Lyra and Bon Bon's asses. God you hope they are all right right now. Then you ran to the carousel boutique and met Rarity, who was not different than Twilight really, even though she was a little nicer. You are starting to miss that suit she made you though. Then Twilight showed up again, Rarity threw you out the window to protect you from her, and then you ran, got knocked out and woke up here. That's all there is to it really. Find the light switch. Turn on the light You sit yourself back up and think that the best course of action right now would be to find some sort of light switch. But how will you do that? Try to find a light switch First go north and try finding the light switch by touching the wall, if you don't find any switch then go east and do the same. If you can't find the light switch..... Start running in circles crying for help like a little girl. You decide to move north to find it. What you don't realize is that you could go north... IF YOU KNEW WHERE NORTH WAS BUT YOU DON'T CAUSE YOU'RE IN A DARK ROOM!!! Hell, you're pretty sure you never knew where north was since you got here. Still, you don't let that deter you. You walk in random direction to find the light switch. Since echolocation has failed you, you instead walk slowly with your arms out. Eventually you touch a wall and feel around it, all over it, you are really feeling up the wall. You don't find a light switch. You check again on another wall, but to no avail. Then another wall, still the same results. You check every wall in the room, you find nothing. Sit down and wait. Cause honestly what else can you do? Mentally defeated by the lack of any light switches, you go back to the center of the room and sit down. You sit and wait... and wait.... and wait.... Put your head in between your legs and kiss your ass good by and wait for the pony to rape you *manly cry* Suddenly you can't take it anymore. You put your head between your legs and begin to cry manly tears. You don't know where you are, or where anything in this room is, or what is going to become of you... You mentally kiss your ass goodbye. You wimper in the darkness of the room. You think to yourself 'God, I would have been better with rarity... how the hell do I always get into these type of things?" As you squint your eyes in hopes that it will give you night vision, a thought hits you. The orange one, the orange horse wasn't there when twilight came in. Did she hit you? "Are... Are you the orange horse I asked help from but you continued to say no and then help twilight try to rape me?" You think to yourself how you would have been better off with Rarity, but quickly think better of it. As was said before, these are ponies, and you are not into ponies. Then suddenly, a realization hits you like a ton of apples. Applejack, the orange pony. She wasn't with Twilight when she burst into Rarity's house. Where was she? Was she the one that hit you in the back of the head? You would contemplate this further, but the sound of a door opening and light suddenly feeling the room interrupts all your thoughts. You hold up your hand to shield your eyes from the sudden light, but after a few moments you pull it away. You see at the top of some stairs that you didn't even realize were there (you actually parkoured over them earlier but forgot about them), you see the silhouette of an open door, with the silhouette of pony standing right inside it. She appears to be wearing a cowboy hat. After a moment of watching you, the pony walks down the stairs and onto the floor of the dark room with you. Eventually, your eyes clear up and you see her. Standing in front of you, is Applejack. The orange, apple selling pony, who refused to help you earlier and was helping Twilight chase you. She looks the same as she did when you first saw her. The red war pain and bandanna she was wearing when she was in Lyra and Bon Bon's house are gone. More or less she looks just like she always does. She is still wearing her bandolier, though. She looks right at you, and you can clearly tell that she is pissed. She's practically glaring death at you. The kind of look that could kill a lesser man... pony in this case. She doesn't have the same look of maniacal insanity that Twilight had on her though. Clearly she is just angry... really angry.... like moments away from painting the walls of this dark room with you angry. What do you do?