Man, if only that were the case. If you were Sonic the Hedgehog you'd be able to outrun these ponies no problem. You kind of don't want to be a hedgehog though. Nothing against hedgehog's but you you'd rather not be one. A better idea would be to wish that you were The Flash. Just as fast (possibly even faster), and still human.

As these thoughts pass through your head you take a moment to reflect on how Sonic games have really gone downhill since Sonic Adventure... Whatever happened... Oh well that is something to wonder for another time.

for no apparent reason you start singing a song you saw on the internet.

For no reason you sing the song "Mega Man 3 with Lyrics" by brentalfloss. You have no idea why, but you just feel compelled to as you run. Plus it helps with your breathing. Plus, you've been working on a farm all day. You don't exactly have a lot of energy.

You attempt to contact me, not knowing I never listen to my new messages.

That would be a good idea.... IF YOU EVEN KNEW WHO THIS PERSON WAS!!!! Sure, the people reading this story and the other users on fimfiction may know who this person is but you certainly don't. Also there is the fact that this person might actually be a pony, and if that is the case, you're not sure if you can trust him... or her... After all, all the ponies you've met so far save for Lyra and Bon Bon haven't been exactly trustworthy.

Rainbow dash said that you smelled nice.
try to find some way to hide your body odor.

Whatever you do, if you see a line of foreboding trees past the apple orchard, don't go that way.
Do not climb the apple trees. Big Mac will just knock you down. Or if cartoon physics are in play he could bend the tree and slingshot you out, which wouldn't be pleasant.
Also, try to find something to mask your body odor. You're in a farm. Perhaps you could smear yourself with pig or cow crap if you somehow found yourself in the pens? It wouldn't be nice, but who wants to rape something that smells like fertilizer?

Look for the compost heap and roll in it. You have to get rid of your manly smell!

You actually contemplated doing this as you ran away from the ranch. Rainbow Dash said something about your smell, so you thought that maybe that was what was somehow attracting these ponies to you. So logically the best thing to would be to mask that scent.

Unfortunately, this orchard, is as you noticed while you were out working with Applejack and Big Macintosh, is the cleanest orchard you've ever seen. If such a thing was even possible.

Seriously, apart from the ground, there isn't a spec of dirt or filth to be seen anywhere in this orchard. You suppose you should commend Applejack and Big Macintosh for taking such good care of their orchard, but for now it doesn't help at all.

There isn't a single bit of compost to be found anywhere and the only thing you've noticed that might even remotely hide your scent was the mud back in the pig pen on the farm (yes the farm had a pig pen... you are not sure why), but for obvious reasons YOU ARE NOT GOING BACK THERE!!! At least not now anyway. Not until things cool down.

Run face first into a tree..
.. Ouch

Unfortunately while your mind wonders to all these places, you don't pay attention to where you are going and run face first into a tree.

Oh, and speaking of which, the reason you know what a broken nose feels like is because you broke your nose when you were younger. Its not exactly a pleasant memory for you, but lets just say it involved, a skateboard, an empty pool, and a particular person that you made angry. Yeah you were incredibly young and stupid at the time. Now you know better.

You fall on your butt and look up at the tree. Suddenly something hits you, not literally of course, but figuratively as you realize something.

Climb a tree and live in the leaves till the heat dies down.

Remember one of your hominid advantages. Climb up and hide in one of the apple trees and get some rest and food.

Hands. amaze the ponies with tricks of your hands.

¡¡Time to use my super abilities of climbing trees!!

climb one of the trees

1. Hide in a tree.
2. Wait until nightfall.
3. Sneak out of the orchard when its dark using the same path you came in on.

You are a human being. You're descended from chimpanzees. You have hands. You have thumbs...

Of course! These ponies only have hooves so they won't be able to get you if you climb up into one of the trees. Without even thinking twice about it you jump up and grab one of the branches on the tree you just ran into. You climb all the way up it, close to the top. This is the best plan you've had all day.

You climb a tree and find some fruit bats. From there, you hand out with your new fruit-themed friends, and they hide you from the crazy ponies. Hopefully.

As you get closer to the top, you notice a rather large piece of fruit hanging from one of the branches. Thinking that you could probably take it and save it for later, you reach out and grab it. Unfortunately, as you do, its eyes suddenly open. The sight of a piece of fruit with eyes freaks you out tremendously, and you almost fall out of the tree. You catch yourself before you do. As you do, you notice the piece of fruit spread out its wings and make a rather strange squeaking noise.

You had no way of knowing it, but you just ran into a fruit bat. With it awake and with it screeching, it alerts the many other bats in the trees around you (you're wondering how the hell you did not notice them before) which all spread their wings and fly away.

The distraction of so many bats flying past you makes you loose your grip and balance and fall out of the tree. You land on your butt again, luckily the tree wasn't that big so it doesn't hurt too bad. You look up at the sky to see lots and lots of fruit bats flying out of the trees. All of them flying into the sky... right where you are... like a signal...

As my role model says in these types of situations: Run!

runnign running running running!
(pull back a branch)
face!
(hits big mac face dead center)
now then
RRRUUUUUUNNN

You get up as quickly as you can and keep running. You don't even want to know who could have seen all those bats fly out and follow them right to you. Climbing the trees was a good plan while it lasted. You might do it again but for now you run as fast as you can to get away from this spot.

>Go Northeast
>you are in an orchard
>Go Northeast
>you are in town
(i looked at a map of the town, SAA is southwest of it. use the sun as a compass.)
randomyay...

You could do that... IF YOU KNEW WHAT DIRECTION NORTHEAST WAS!!! WHICH YOU DON'T, YOU REALLY DON'T! You have no idea where you even are much less what direction northeast is. Even if you did you have no idea where that leads, so you don't know that it will lead you right back into town.

Discover CMC club house

You find the CMC clubhouse.
Upon entering, you discover that they are chanting something Latin and are surrounded in a summoning circle.
They're trying to get their demon summoning cutie marks.

Yet despite all that, it seems that fortune, Jesus, and Solid Snake are all smiling on you at the moment. You keep running and find an open clearing in the orchard, and when you do, you notice a rather large treehouse in one of the trees. There doesn't appear to be anybody (or pony) inside.

Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome

I'd Like to be a Tree