I call bullshit! Fake seizures ALWAYS work for me! I demand MOAR!
P.S Tell her that book ripping is the natural form of intercourse for your species. Automatic turn off.
PLAN B:
Step 1: Explain to Twilight that book ripping is the natural form of intercourse among your people.
Step 2: She will completely turned off and leave. You can actually pick yourself up off the god forsaken ground.
Step 3: Revel in victory as your virginity has been saved. Nerd...
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....
That is by FAR the stupidest idea you have ever come up with since you got here, and you once ate a whole cup of raw cinnamon just to show your friends that you could. Her eye starts twitching a bit more frantically now.
Look back at her carefully, and in your most soothing voice say the following.
"Now, I'm terribly sorry about the damage to your book. How about you let me up, we both go to a store and get some tape or other mending equipment and fix this. After that, we can both sit down, maybe have some tea, and discuss how I got here and exactly why you were hanging over me with said book. Sound good?"
At this time, praying inwardly for your continued health is highly recommended
.
Since you can clearly see that she is about to (or rather is currently) loose her marbles. You take a deep breath and compose yourself. If nothing else, at least you try to apologize.
"Now, I'm terribly sorry about the damage to your book," you say to her. "How about you let me up, we both go to a store and get some tape or other mending equipment and fix this. After that, we can both sit down, maybe have some tea, and discuss how I got here and exactly why you were hanging over me with said book. Sound good?" No response, and her mouth begins twitching too along with her eye. Its starting to look like she is about to have a seizure.
Call Odahviing to come save your ass.
Okay you will admit that you have three maxed out characters in Skyrim and you are not ashamed to admit that you did put a lot of work into them. However, even you realize the difference between calling a dragon to save your ass in a videogame vs calling a dragon to save your ass in the real world. Namely that dragons don't exist. Even if they did the odds of one being named Odahviing are well over a million to one and even if there was one named that he more than likely wouldn't obey you much less save your ass if you needed to. Plus, if you were to call him in this situation he'd probably laugh at you endlessly. How dragons are capable of laughing you have no idea.
Twilight's head begins to twitch as well. She looks like she's tweaking.
First pray to god, second cry like a little girl, then hope for the best.
With no other options left you close your eyes and begin to silently pray to god. Also you cry like a little girl for some reason. You pray to god as best you can. You apologize for all the things you've done. Sure you are a bawller boss but even ballwer bosses are not immune from sin. You repent over and over again in your head and pray for him to hear you. To at least give you some idea of what to do in this situation.
Tickle her..
...until her death
you reach up and tickle the bah-jeesus outta her!
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Okay.
Without pause you drop the book and reach up with both your hands. You grab her sides right under where her front legs meet her torso and begin to tickle her. At first there's no response, and any frantic hope you have that this will work (why you had frantic hope this would work you have no idea. That seems to be a reoccurring theme since you got here) leaves you like water going down a drain.
Suddenly... against all hope.... what little there was. A smile suddenly forms on Twilight's face. Seeing this you redouble your efforts and tickle her even harder. You even reach up and start tickling behind her ears while your other hand moves down her belly.
She fights it at first, but then eventually she bursts into full on laughter. Apparently you are doing a good job. And again with that voice of her's if it wasn't on a pony it would be somewhat cute to you.
Get up, trip her, and run behind Apple Jack's stand, making her swear not to say a word.
You have her right where you want her now. With one swift motion you toss your legs to the side and trip her out from under you. Quickly you roll onto your feet and get back up.
FUCKING RUN!
Get the flip out of dodge!
Back on your feet again you channel The Knights of the Round Table as best as you can and bolt off in a random direction like Usain Bolt. Granted you have no idea where you are so you really have no idea where you are running either.
"HEY!" You hear a voice belonging to a certain purple unicorn behind you. "GET BACK HERE!!!" She begins to give chase, but you don't look back.
-Eventually-
Eventually you run into what you can only assume is the town market. In the short time that you've been running you could tell that this was a tiny, yet 'quiet' little village.
There are more horses in the town. All of them different colors and all of them look strangely anime like to you. Also all of them are staring at you. You can't really blame them for that though. If you were out one day and saw a member of an alien species you've never seen before running through the streets without any pants then you'd probably stare too.
As you run through the market your eye catches sight of an apple stand being run by an orange horse with apples on her rump. That was another thing you'd noticed about these horses as you ran through the town, they all had these weird marks on their rumps. You wondered to yourself what Twilight's mark would be, but something also tells you you don't want to stick around to find out. Anyway, you make a beeline straight for the apple stand.
"What in tarnation!" you hear the orange horse say in what sounds like a southern accent as you approach.
To forever you will never be sure how you did this, but without stopping you leapt over the apple stand right with a lead that even you would be jealous of normally and went straight through it. The orange horse ducked as you flew right over her. Now that you were behind the apple stand. You shove the orange horse out the way and crunch up right behind it.
"What in..."
"Please let me hide here!" You say to her?
"What in the hay is goin on!? Who are yah, or ratha what are yah?"
"There's no time to explain!" You tell her. "Please just let me hide here and swear not to say a word!"
"Why would Ah..."
"APPLEJACK!!!" You hear the voice of a certain purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle shout from behind the stand. In panic, you crunch up even more and give the orange horse a pleading look.
What do you do?
