Christopher Boatner is a diplomat from Earth, in Equestria to interview Princess Twilight Sparkle to understand pony culture and customs better. Thing is, he's unprepared for what amounts to one of the biggest discoveries between humans and ponies ever. Bad puns. A lot of them. Along with general ignorance about the creepy nature of cutie marks. Will Chris be able to handle the multitude of horse puns? Read to find out!
A big thanks to my editors Kaidan and The 10th Doctor, along with my pre-readers Skeeter The Lurker and Mr101 for all their help!
Chapters (1)
Puns? Yes please.
I'm, like, the only one who likes puns. Why don't people like puns?
EDIT: Oh my God this fic nearly killed my brain in the middle.
Gonna save everyone the trouble:
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/515/177/175.jpg
2903126
Sounds about right.
~Skeeter The Lurker
You are a fanfiction writing machine, RainbowBob!
2903138
Obviously you didn't see the author who put out 10 stories within the same hour today.
2903122
I think that they're shrektacular. However, it's easy to ogredo it.
2903143 Now, THAT is crazy!
GOD DAMMIT BOB
This is to good to rate
2903126
Don't get it.
quickmeme.com/meme/3qdeky/
Ponies don't kill people, ponies with puns kill people.
Think you meant to say 'erratic'.
Also, I would have probably started throttling Twilight at that last comment since the human city names aren't puns.
They're not even close.
2903181 A Magic School Bus joke. Carlos ALWAYS make the terrible puns.
2903122 chuggaaconroy likes puns
Sounds like someone is trying to PUN-ish us.
Not bad silly but not stupid.
Twi's cutie mark has 6 white stars around it after her ascension, not 5.
Los ∉ Las Vegas
Upvoted and faved. :P
2903239
th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2011/105/0/c/twilight_sparkle_cutie_mark_by_blackgryph0n-d3e1hyn.png
Lies.
On, god. The second time is as good as the first.
2903287>>2903239
Not verified in the show yet, as it may have been an animation error. Or it may not have been.
such delicious chaos is going on here, I'm SO glad that Hasbro decided to only have 13 episodes for Season 3, and then having Twilight's Cutie Mark be inconsistent? Icing on the cake! *laughs like Discord*
Hmm? Oh, sorry. Anyways, unless there's a clear shot of her Cutie Mark in EqG, it's up in the air.
2903122 I thrive on puns. Hardly a day goes by without my making a pun. In fact, if I reblog something on tumblr or comment on something on facebook, if I can make a pun, you'd better believe I'm going to make it.
I can carry on a stream of puns without using the same one twice for quite a while, switching between topics as the occasion arises. I simply start out on onepic, then I go to topic, then threepic, then fourpic...
2903469 There were plenty of clear shots of it.
No spoilers (unless you consider a shot of alicorn Twilight a spoiler).
i.imgur.com/gUoaOkk.jpg
Five white stars like it's always had.
Anyone else feel that he was being a bit of an asshole? Fun though, good work.
"Coughing, I asked, “So, she’s called Applejack, even though this ‘cutie mark’ she has of apples didn’t appear until much later in her lifetime?” "
Thank Celestia Chris didn't find out about the Captain of the Royal Guard being named Shining Armor. His brain would have exploded.
Diplomats don't do interviews, diplomats do diplomatics, silly.
i guess i'd make a good diplomat for equestria because puns have never bothered me and by the by we use puns for names all the damn time lol
2903499 Good... point.
ok this clinched it following you now.
Every time, man. Every time.
The only Pun we have is "Man" in Manhattan
..............can you read minds?
fimfiction-static.net/images/interactive_pony/dash/fly_rainbow_left.gif
True Story
Awesome!
2903126
Brilliant.
2903547
I wonder how Celestia and Luna got their names...
Mare One:My foals are going to be better than yours!
MareTwo: Neigh, my foals will be doctors and scientists before yours even graduate from high school.
MareOne: Well, mine will be named Celestia and Luna because they will control the Sun and the Moooooon!
2903204
Actually, Manhattan kind've is a pun of Manehatten.
So there.
I'm dying right now! My sides!
This was just so much win!
Vancouver is a Canadian city, not American!
2903547
Just wait until ponies find out that the most common human name is after a 1400 year old man that nobody alive has ever seen a picture of. (Muhammed)
Not to mention how we have a whole bunch of names that simply mean "Son of" such as Billson, Wilson, Ferguson, Williamson, Jacobson. To say nothing of the fact that a lot of our names actually means something in ancient languages. Or the fact that a lot of us are named after other people we've never met. (Bible). Or that some cultures only have less than a hundred family names (China).
My own name, roughly translated, means "Red land of the helm."
...
Damn, I'll take a pony name over that.
2905236
There is actually a city named Vancouver in Washington state, but it is obviously smaller and lesser known than the one of which you are referring to.
2905236
That's Vancouver #2 you're thinking of. The original Vancouver is in Washington State.
That was pretty well thought-out and oddly genuine for both a HiE and a comedy. That was pretty good, well done.
Haha, this was an entertaining read. Nicely done!
Well actually, a lot of human names have meanings, just in different languages.
Christopher is Christ Bearer, 'One who bears Christ in his soul'.
Boatner is an Anglicized version of the German Bodner, meaning 'floor' or 'bottom'.
If Chris Boatner were a pony, he would be called Jesus Is A Bottom.
Thus, we can infer that ponies are all godless heathens who must be exterminated for the good of all mankind.
> receive diplomatic commission
> instantly start giving tetrarch of the realm guff about how silly their names are
> ?
> profit...?
Also, while the reference is I suppose literally correct, I am immediately somewhat suspicious of the advanced diplomatic qualifications of anyone whose brain stops at "children's breakfast cereal" upon hearing the name "Applejack" (as opposed to recognizing their common referent.)
2905712 aw dude i did a spit take at that and everything. its gonna take ages to get the cola out
...it was worth it though
2905738
Damn, that completely left my mind while writing. And I even used to be a bartender, so I should have known that.
Also, sorry if the story doesn't make much sense. One of my first times trying out comedy without using crude humor, so still kinda used to it. Hopefully you'll enjoy my next attempt at it.
The puns have always made my inner etymologist twist very uncomfortably whenever my mind drift to them. I even wrote a blog post or two that specifically deal with the etymology of place names like 'Canterlot' and 'Apple-something'.
See, I have always craved for a story that deals with 'em puns. Therefore, seeing this story makes me so, so glad that it's quite hard to put my elation into words.
This is going to be a legendary duel that can only be settled by careful consultation of toponymic dictionaries.
We are more than ready.