Hey there. Name's Discord. I'm the janitor at a high school. I clean up after bratty teenagers and the odd drama queen or two that turns into a demon and wrecks up the school. Ain't my job grand?

Birthday gift to my bro Skeeter The Lurker, a really rad dude everyone should check out!

Awesome art from the greatly talented ManiacPaint, who you should definitely check out for more good art!

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 447 )

On the 8th I'll have been here on earth for 27 years.

I have received much over my past birthdays.

Games, money, toys (when I was younger), cake.

But this? Best. Gift. Ever.

Thank you.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Not bad... I would love to see this continued!:twilightsmile:

You had your locker stuffed with drugs. What else was I supposed to do?”

Now that's some escalation.

Honestly, I'm not a fan of the Equestria's Girl Universe, but I always had it in the back of my mind that Discord would be either the really awesome janitor, or the freaking awesome Science teacher who let you blow stuff up in class.

Also, I really enjoyed the last scene, I'd expect Discord to have quite a few tricks, even in this world.


I want more of this. Now.

Ooo, I love this idea. I'd love to see more if you're up for it. :pinkiehappy:

I spotted a few misused amd misspelled words, such as using "principle" instead of "principal". However, since most of these errors somehow happened to be in Discord's dialogue, I'm not making a big deal out of it. Heck, it probably adds to his in-character-ness.

Gread story. I think it should stay a one-shot. Trying to build on it would ruin its charm.

Whoops, brainderp there. Fixed! :derpytongue2:

Oh hell yeah that was cool

Gotta' love the way you write Discord.

You should write more of this. Do eet faget.

Please continue this it seems like an interesting concept

Hmm, it has some potential. Why not release another chapter and see how it goes?

Please continue.

EQG universe? Damn, he must have gotten so high, he got magic.

Insert Thor meme here:
I'm to lazy.

The drugs probably gave him perfect understanding of how the universe works.

I enjoyed this. It was a bit short, but well-contained. Would love it if you decide to write more, but it stands pretty well as a one shot. More like an epilogue of sorts. Very nice.

Also, it's derelict. Just sayin'.

I lost my shit when I read the part about Discord having Drugs in his locker and realized I was listening to Nightcore-Cocaine...


Huh. Nice version of the song.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Thanks My Friend and DM Got me into Nightcore, oh, about four hours ago...

Edit: Happy Birthday, by the way.

while it works well as a one shot, you really shouldnt deprive the community of more if you can

this needs more chapter

This...needs to be continued!!!

Silly RainbowBob. You can't write one-shots; you're fans won't let you stop there!


I'd be willing to forgo updates on Jungle Fever to get more of this.

Pretty funny, but Discords janitorial skills don't even register compared to The Janitor's, an original creation of mine with the sole, soul crushingly large, task of cleaning up the messes of every major and minor event across the multiverse.

3167671 Happy cross-timezone's birthday Skeeter, and by New Zealand time, you're already 27, now I go to bang my head on a wall out of boredom and immense frustration at my laptops inability to run at anything lower than 50 degrees Celsius,

I just thinking yesterday about writing a story about Discord either being a janitor or a student counselor at Canterlot High. And then today I found this story. Which is really good by the way. So good, you should continue it.

By Navarone's beard! Continue!

3167671 Congratulations, weird it is... My father is turning 47 tomorrow :P

Continue so long as you make them bang with Celly as the naughty school teacher:pinkiehappy:

Huh. I always figured Discord was the head of the science department, teaching physics through counterexample.

Still, I do like this take on him. If you know where you want to take this, I'd gladly read more.




There are no words in any language, to describe the excellence that shall be foretold in this saga of troll.

One shot? I demand a trilogy


By Kumani's Greed! please continue!

Well, you don't need me to tell you to continue. I also enjoy that Thrift Shop bit.:coolphoto:

By Celestia's Golden Beard! This is brilliant!

I'd say more, but I honestly think this is fine.

In fact, this is perfect.

3168720 By Watcher's eye! Continue!

I like it as it is, but if you decide to do more, make it a 3-shot or something.

I believe you could leave this at a one shot if you wanted to, but if the other comments are any indication, the general populace would love it if you kept writing this. I know I certainly would. :derpytongue2:

Discord as a Almighty Janitor sir you have my attention

You shall do more. Please?

THRIFT SHOP REFERENCE THRIFT SHOP REFERENCE THRIFT SHOP REFERENCE THRIFT SHOP REFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh...Oh wow. This...This, i enjoy.

It would be a very good idea to continue this.:pinkiecrazy: But if not still an excellent story!:twilightsmile:

Either do more or make a sequel, you can't leave things like this. There has to be more.

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