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Source

Twilight discovers that a new tea shop has opened up in Ponyville with an owner a bit on the tyrannical and overlordy side. However, business seems to be booming, even if the proprietor is still totally evil... with his prices!


Big thanks to my editors Majin Syeekoh, Skeeter The Lurker, and Themaskedferret for all their wonderful help!

The awesome cover art can be found here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 124 )

I will say that I had a good laugh while reading this.

5862340
BEAN? HOW DARE YOU BRING UP BEANS IN THIS TEA SHOP! YOU WILL SPEAK OF LEAVES AND LIKE IT!

Why? WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY?!

Well, 'Tearek' certainly isn't anything I would've thought of. I would've gone for Tirek's Tires. But this is even better!

The best part is his rants; it reminds you perfectly well that he's still Tirek. Though now I want to know about Discord's Cinnabon shop.

I do love a well-written crack-fic one-shot. And hyphens, apparently.

I really loved how utterly ridiculous this was. Also, now I want me some Cinnabon. And my personal favorite line has got to be:

I SHALL KNIT YOU A SWEATER MADE FROM YOUR OWN ENTRAILS AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH TO MAKE A PAIR OF MITTENS AND SCARF FOR WHEN THE WINTER COMES AROUND! BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE THE COLD MONTHS AND KNITTING IS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FEMININE BUT TOTALLY NORMAL PASSIONS!

Great job, Rainbow Bob.

God bless you, you magnificent bastard.

5862394 I have forsaken in the name of tea!:raritydespair:

I'm a little sad that Twilight didn't burn the place down.

Vengeance for the treebrary.

I didn't even pay attention to who the author of the story was and when I finished I literaly said this is something RainbowBob would write, then I scrolled to the top XD

5862505
Tirek's Tires? I can just imagien Trixie there causing trouble.

Anyway, good read and a good laugh as usual.

I'm done. :rainbowlaugh:

Is it weird that I was waiting for this to happen?

Of course I didn't want some loser writing it, but whatever.

That was Tea-riffic :rainbowlaugh:

Sorry, that was a tea-rrible pun :ajsleepy:

Good job, though I was expecting Tirek to go Soup Tea Nazi on Twilight: "NO TEA FOR YOU! NEXT!"

My god, this was one of the more fabulous things I've read.

EDIT:

“Awww, I’m terribly sorry about,” Twilight said.

WHAT IN TARTARUS'S BURNING PITS IS SHE SORRY ABOUT?

The phrase "thank you sir, may I have another" come to mind with his interactions.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Oh wow! :rainbowlaugh: This was too damn funny! And somehow should be canon...

Great story, Bobbeh!

Mk so the story is great, had me cracking up quite a few times. There's just one minor issue I have...

Napoleon Dynamite.
I remember seeing that movie back in high school and trying to figure out how that thing was approved for funding.
To this day I still don't have an answer.
However, the story got a few laughs from me so it gets a thumbs up.

P.S. I really despise that movie.

5862579 HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was beautiful. Once again, you don't fail to be hilarious. Although this time it was pretty clear and coherent.:ajsmug:

Simply amazing, gutbusting laughter all the way through.

:rainbowhuh:

I am opening and closing my mouth, unable to form a coherent response to this... Well played, author. Well played indeed. :rainbowdetermined2:

This was pretty amusing! I approve!

looks at title
looks at author.
"of course".

You Tea Selling Monster :pinkiegasp:

Should've been
Tearekt.
*Leaves before shitstorm starts*

I both love and hate you for what yove done here...
Love for the story, hate that I didn't think of that pun, and you did.

I love you, Bob. So much.

I would totally buy tea from Tearek.

That was a good read and a good laugh. Actually, you just gave me an idea of what I should try drawing next. Thanks! (Most likely, it would be drawn on paper and left sitting in a binder.)

Tea puns they hurt!:raritydespair:

Just added at 7:15
You should make a Tealight spoutkle, Celesteaa, and for luna i have no idea .

It shall be called the chronicles of tea

So chrysalis works at sofas and quills, discord runs a Cinnabon stand, and now tirek with his tea shop. Rainbowbob I'm curious to what sort of establishments Sombra and Nightmare moon will be working at or maybe have them be partners who own a bed and breakfast type of place.

Blah lemon tea :pinkiesick: he is evil.

Rainbow Bob...I think I'm in love.

Well, at least when he DOES eventually try to take over again, either he'll have the funding to hire an army or two to do it for him, or else Equestria will be too broke to fund its own!

BOBA TEA AND BUBBLE TEA ARE NOT THE SAME THING!

Um...actually they are, Mister Tirek.

Please don't hurt me.

5864869 You sir! just so much win right there

And then Iroh opened a shop across the street.

Oh snap. Tea#rekt.

Edit:
...Damn, someone already made that joke. Should have known.

5865108
BOBA TEA IS A BRAND NAME AND AS MUCH BUBBLE TEA AS EVERY COLA-FLAVOURED LEMONADE IS PEPSI, YOU PHILISTINE.

Comment posted by Europa deleted Apr 14th, 2015

5865464 What is that meme from? I've seen a 'but it was me, Flash Sentry' version too. What is the original version?

5865472
No idea. I found it somewhere on this site, and I mentioned it to Rainbowbob and that I would post it on every one of his stories. So I have. And so I will.
EDIT: Actually, I think the anime it is from is "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure"

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