//------------------------------// // 5. A Normal Day in Ponyville // Story: Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn // by Kaidan //------------------------------// I walked out onto the balcony of my house to stretch in the sunlight, yet for some reason there was a thick layer of cloud as far as my eyes could see. Since they were lower than my balcony, I walked out onto them. I tried to focus like Dash had told me, to feel the size and shape of the clouds. Perhaps the cloud I busted had been more luck than skill, since these clouds didn’t budge an inch. The wind picked up, and I twisted my head over my shoulder to see if any of the other homes in Ponyville were blanketed in the dense clouds. My house, along with the roofs of my neighbors’ houses, were gone. I returned to where my house should have been and stomped the clouds with my hooves, slowly dispersing them. A pit started to form until my hoof hit something solid. There was asphalt underneath, painted with two solid yellow lines. When I returned my gaze skyward, the sun was blocked by a tall skyscraper. The buildings were charred black and windowless, with several of the tall buildings more than halfway crumbled to dust. I realized I was dreaming again and shook my head. At least there’s no sign of— “Awesome!” A pegasus flew past me, blowing the clouds away, and turning around the corner of one of the buildings. As she vanished, I heard another voice behind me. “Hey, Dawn, long time no see.” The female version of myself walked calmly across the street towards me. “Yay,” I deadpanned. “It’s you again.” “I have a name you know, or at least I picked one out. It’s Desire,” she explained. “Well, no offense, but since this is my dream, I think I’ll be going now.” “But you haven’t met Iris!” Desire whined. Her tone ate away at my nerves like a cheese grater. I started walking away, shaking my head. “Nope! I’m not gonna entertain delusions, even if they are in a dream.” “You’re still upset I want you to admit your true desires to be female? Fluttershy would date you if you were.” Spinning around, I poked her chest with a hoof. “Hey! That’s none of your business.” “Why not? I’m you! Or, maybe when you wake up you’ll find that you’re me!” She started laughing when a blur tackled her to the ground. I watched as another pegasus quickly hoofcuffed her legs and put a gag in her mouth. “Great, now I’m in a dream where mares are tackling each other and tying each other up. This is high school all over again.” I started to walk away again, heading towards one of the ruined buildings. I might not have been able to will myself to wake up, but I was not going to stick around here. “No, wait! Dude, you’ve got to check this out!” A pegasus landed in front of me that looked a lot like Rainbow Dash. She had the cyan fur, but her mane only had the primary colors: red, yellow, and blue. I stole a glance at her flanks and noticed she lacked a cutie mark as well. “I’ve been practicing this to show you!” Before I could object, she took off and started weaving in and out of the support beams of one of the hollowed out buildings. Her dexterity was amazing, and she was able to do tricks I’m not sure Dash could have. Then again, it was a dream, so how hard could it be? She finished her routine and landed in front of me, sweat dripping down her fur. “Hey, I’m Iris! I see you’ve met Desire.” “And who are you supposed to be?” “Pfft, me? Just the awesomest pony around. I could totally teach you to fly like that, make you the coolest mare in Equestria.” I chuckled. “Oh, great. Another dream me wanting me to be female, no thanks.” “Dude!” She flared a wing in front of me so I couldn’t brush past her. “Mares run everything! You don’t wanna just be somepony’s baby-daddy? Not to mention all the coolest ponies are mares. Spitfire, Fleetfoot, Fluttershy, Twilight… Dash, of course, but that goes without saying! I mean, no stunt stallion can do half the tricks a stunt mare can. We’ve got more dexterity!” “Convincing argument, but no, thanks. This whole dream is just reeking of multiple personality disorder, and I’d rather not open that can of worms. Why don’t you go play with Desire?” I pointed over at where Iris had tied her up. The mare seemed to be enjoying the bondage, rubbing herself against the pole of a street lamp. “Oh for the love of Celestia!” I darted off around the building, flying as fast as I could to get away from the ponies behind me. It seemed to work, and I found a nice little laundromat to hide in. My mind focused on waking up and ending the dream, but it had no effect. Sighing, I began to think about Desire. If she was some part of my mind representing my desires, why is she a mare? I was fairly certain I liked Dash just as much as Fluttershy, and if it weren’t for Soarin I could have taken a shot at a relationship with Dash. Did part of me deep down want to be a mare? It seemed absurd, and I was sure it was just a side effect of living in Dash’s body for so long. A shadow cast itself across the room, and I let out an exasperated groan. “Can’t I go one night without dreaming of crazy stalker-ponies?” “I don’t know, Dawn. What is troubling you?” the voice asked. Turning to see Luna standing there was almost as shocking as waking up in another pony’s body. I floundered to my hooves and shook my head. “Is this another hallucination?” “Relax,” Luna ordered. She walks closer to me and sits down. “We are in your dream. I decided to check up on you. It seems prudent you have somepony to talk to if you are having any difficulties.” “Alright.” I sat down and pointed outside. “There’s a couple of ponies bugging me. One keeps talking about how I desire to be a mare, and the other is like Dash 2.0.” “Do you desire to be a mare?” “No!” I looked up at her and felt bad for shouting at her. “I mean, I don’t think so. There was nothing wrong with being a mare, but I wasn’t born one. I’m a stallion.” Luna smiled. “Dawn, it is not unusual for ponies to wonder what it is like to be the other gender. You’ve lived as the other gender. It’s natural for you to have some lingering thoughts or doubts. It is also natural for these sub-conscious thoughts to take form in dreams; it is the only way they can communicate with your conscious mind.” “I guess that makes me feel better. It’s not like Desire can make me wake up as a mare.” “Indeed, they only have the power you allow them to in your dreams. I must ask, however, why you would dream of such a barren and inhospitable landscape.” I shrugged. “Don’t know. I watched lots of movies like this on Earth. Zombies, aliens, or maybe a few stray nukes bring about the Apocalypse. A few lone survivors try to travel to a safe place to rebuild civilization.” “Hmm.” Luna chuckled. “Well, even the backdrop to your dream is trying to tell you something. Do you know what it is?” Looking around the laundromat for clues revealed nothing but broken washing machines and dryers missing their doors. It took a few minutes to piece it together in my mind, but I finally thought I had the answer she wants. “Since I’m all alone in Equestria, I feel like I’m the lone survivor trying to find a place to rebuild.” She nodded. “Exactly. Your alienation, the thoughts you repress, they all manifest in your dreams. You will wake soon, and when you do, you must not be afraid of your thoughts or desires. Do not alienate yourself.” Luna stood up and slowly faded out of existence. The fabric of the dream started to ripple and fade as I woke up. Desire stepped out from behind one of the washers before I woke up. She had a massive smile plastered across her face. “Rise and shine, sleepy mare.” I woke up with cotton mouth and a thin layer of slime over my teeth. Forgetting to brush my teeth had given me a bad case of morning breath, and if I hadn’t been so damn comfortable I’d have rushed to the bathroom right now to fix it. My teeth remained nasty no matter how much I licked at them, and I had little choice but to reach over for the glass of water I like to keep on my nightstand. I picked it up and took a drink, finally feeling proficient at using my hooves for manipulating smaller objects. When I put the glass back on the cedar nightstand, I noticed my fur coat appeared to be pink. It was a light shade of pink, similar to somepony but I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it. I just knew I’d seen it before. Shaking my head to clear my vision didn’t fix the problem, so I rubbed my eyes a couple times. My hooves had a nice glossy sheen, my pink fur looked well cared for, and as my mane swung around into view I noticed cyan highlights in the brown hair. No way… I lifted up the blanket and look down between my legs to confirm the dreadful suspicion. Legs? Check. Tail? Check. Penis? Negative. Dropping the blanket, I looked around as I started to hyperventilate and gave myself a headache. How could this have happened? This isn’t possible! I need to recount what I did yesterday. . . My memories raced as I recalled the last twenty-four hours. I was telling the Cutie Mark Crusaders a story, I promised Pinkie I’d go on a blind date, then I’d practiced with Dash and went to bed. Pinkie. I’m gonna put hair remover in her shampoo for this! How could she?! Turn me into a bucking mare for missing a blind date? I kicked the covers off and flew into the bathroom. I heard my cat screech as he was flung through the air along with the covers. “Sorry, Bagheera! Bigger problems right now!” Kicking the door wide open and flipping on the lights revealed a pink mare in the mirror. I looked exactly like Desire did: nice rounded facial features and all. Hey, it could be worse. . . [How?] Well, I could be hearing Desire’s voice in my head. [Like this?] My eyes went wide in shock as I stared into the mirror and my hooves trembled. Roseluck was watering her flowers in her front yard, three houses down the street from Dawn’s house. She looked up as she heard a flock of birds taking off from a tree, followed by a loud stream of obscenities. Her ears flattened against her head, and she looked around, hoping no fillies were present. [I told you that you wanted to be a mare!] “Shut up! This is all a misunderstanding!” I shouted into the mirror. There were several cracks in it where I had hit the laminated glass with my hoof. [Aww, come on! I bet if we go over to Fluttershy’s house she’ll totally bang us as soon as she sees us!] “No! I refuse to talk to you. I’m not crazy!” [Well, you are yelling at yourself in a mirror when you could be rutting Fluttershy’s brains out, so… yeah, definitely crazy.] You, just shut up! What happened to stalking me in my dreams like a good split-personality? [I got tired of the reruns. I mean, honestly, if the ponies knew half the things you dreamed.] I sat down on the floor, trying to slow down my breathing. This was a nightmare. I’d not only been turned into a mare, but it’d brought out another side of me. It was like having post-traumatic stress from my time inside Dash. I didn’t know what to do to fix this mess. After relaxing for a while I got up and went downstairs to get some breakfast. [Oh, get some daisy flavored corn puffs!] Not talking to you. [La la la la la la la la la la la—] Quit it! I’m gonna fix this and make you go away. [Aww, sounds like somepony needs to get laid.] I groaned and opened up the fridge. There were some hard-boiled eggs in the drawer I had cooked earlier this week in case I needed a snack. I took out the last four and set them onto a plate, then carried it over to the table. They would have tasted much better with a little salt, so I grabbed the salt shaker and shook it above my eggs. To my surprise, the lid of the salt shaker fell off, drenching the eggs in salt. [Hehehe.] Ignoring the totally-normal-and-in-no-way-insane voice in my head, I headed back to the fridge. Inside seemed rather barren, and all I could spot to eat were cupcakes. I pulled them out and set the box on the counter. Inside were some red cupcakes, so I took one and tossed it in my mouth. It tasted a lot like cinnamon at first, but very spicy and hot. After making the mistake of swallowing one, I realized it had some kind of Tabasco in it. My mouth and throat started burning. “H-hot!” [Gahah! This is so much more fun than hanging out with Iris and the others.] I turned the faucet on the sink to max, but no water came out. I slapped it a few times with my hoof, desperate to get something to drink. My eyes watered, and my forehead had beads of sweat forming. Rushing back to the fridge I flung the door open and reached for the carton of milk. I ripped the top off and tilted it back above my open mouth, only to find it empty. I shook it a few times in disbelief before noticing a note on the side. Nopony breaks a Pinkie promise. - Pinkamena Apple Pie This was the proof I needed that Pinkie had done all of this to me. That bitch is dead! [That’s the spirit! Let’s go buy a few cucumbers and tie her up, then we’ll—] “Shut up!” I screamed. My mouth was still watering, and I could feel my sinuses draining, snot started to run out of my nose. The hose in front of the house seemed to be my next best option. I raced to the front door, threw it open, and dove towards it. I trampled the small flowerbed on the way to the hose but managed to turn it on, and directed the stream of cold water into my mouth. After gulping down as much water as I could stomach, I started to wash my face off. [This is fun! You need to turn into a mare more often. Oh, or maybe you can just stay a mare! Yeah!] “Excuse me,” a voice called out. I turned to face the tan pony with dark pink hair. “You’re Rose, right?” “Yes. Is Dawn home? I heard some. . .” she blushed, “screaming.” My eyes darted around as I tried to think of an explanation.  Do I tell her Dawn’s a mare now? That he woke up and freaked out? That Pinkie Pie is a sadistic bastard? That’s it! “Dawn broke a Pinkie promise. He’s currently indisposed.” “Oh my, I’m so sorry. Are you two, uhm. . .” Rose smiled as her eyes ran over my flanks. “No! We’re, uh, related. Definitely not sleeping together, nope, not gonna happen.” “Hehe, well then, feel free to stop by my store. I’ll give you some of my special roses later,” she said. I watched her leave and then turned off my water, leaving the hose in the puddle of mud that used to be petunias. Heading back inside I ignored the muddy hoof prints and flopped down on my sofa, defeated. It was bad enough that being a mare again was all part of some childish prank, but I didn’t know how to fix it. I could track down Pinkie, but I wasn’t really in the mood to see her right now. Dash would probably spend the first thirty minutes laughing, before telling me to go see Twilight. That’s it, I can just go have Twilight fix it. She fixes everything. [Oh, bad news, champ. . . that wetness down there, isn’t from the garden hose.] What do you mean? I looked down and noticed the smell of a mare in heat. Desire? [Yes?] I fucking hate mares. [Aww, come on. It’s not that bad. We’ll just go take a shower.] No. [Hmm. . . Got any root vegetables?] No. [Flashlights?] No. [Remote control?] No. [Hairb—] No! I am not clopping in this body, dammit! [Pfft, a cat would have been fine too.] What’s wrong with you?! [Well, for starters, you finally get what you desired all this time and you’re being a little crybaby about it.] I looked over at the clock and moaned. This was not how I expected today to go. I was late for flight practice with Dash. Twilight wanted to talk about the search for Shining Armor, and Applejack had asked if I was competing with her and Dash in the Iron Pony contest. Crap, Dash. . . She’ll be here any minute to check on me! I need to get to Twilight’s and get this fixed before— Somepony started knocking at my front door. I knew it could only be Dash. Thank Celestia she’d listened to me yesterday about learning to knock. I got up and flew to the back door. “Dawn?” Dash knocked a few more times. [Come on, this is a golden opportunity! You’ve already got hoofcuffs and a gag for her to use on us!] You know they have antipsychotic meds to get rid of voices in your head? Just keep on being a smart-ass. [Heh, I’m you. You can’t get rid of yourself!] I closed the back door behind me and flew straight towards Ponyville’s main square. This low to the ground I doubted Dash had spotted me. She was likely in the house looking for me now. Once I was out of sight of my home, I landed and started walking towards the Library. My mind kept wandering, and I found myself increasingly distracted by the heat radiating from my plot. Come on, are you causing that? [Nah, I’m just the manifestation of your desires. The crazy and the heat, that’s one-hundred percent you, baby.] I think I understand where Dash was coming from now. . . The further I walked into town, the more I noticed my legs slowing down. The dirt felt like molasses, sticking to my hooves with each step. The added weight continued to slow me down, and I could smell a sickly sweet scent in the air. My wings started to twitch, and I had the urge to spread them out, but resisted. Come on, help me out here, Desire. Can’t you, I don’t know, postpone the whole ‘heat’ thing until I get to Twilight’s? [And miss out on a good rutting? No way!] My body continued to slow down, becoming harder and harder to control. I’d never felt anything like this and couldn’t figure out what the hell Pinkie drugged me with. I came to a stop, four hooves firmly on the ground. Looking around for help, I saw Big Mac. And he saw me. Big Mac was standing there, staring right at me. I tried to call out to him for help but the words got caught in my throat, as my gaze drifted down his chest. My front legs buckled, and I found my tail twitching and wings flaring, as I assumed the position. Dammit, what the hell? You’re doing this to me! [Heh, no, but I sure am enjoying it! You’re such the little slut, Dawn. I’m so proud of you!] The sickly sweet scent grew stronger as my fragrance filled the air. A musky odor soon joined it, and I could see Mac’s hooves as he walked behind me, seemingly hypnotized. No, no, no. [Yes, yes, yes!] Something flashed by, tackling Big Mac. I could hear it, and felt the thud in the ground, yet couldn’t get a good view of it. “What the hay, Big Mac? You can’t do that out here in the middle of a street. And you!” Dash stomped over to me, twisting a wing and lifting me back onto all fours. “You can’t just—” “Ow,” I whimpered. I looked at Dash, the pain brought me back to my senses, as she scrunched her nose. “Damn, I’ve never smelt a mare who had it this bad. No wonder Big Mac couldn’t control himself.” “What in tarnation?” Applejack galloped over until she stood between me and Big Mac. “Did ah just see y’all gettin’ ready to rut in the middle of the street?!” Mac’s eyes drifted to the ground. “Eeyup.” “Yeah, this mare here—wait, I never asked your name. Who are you?” Dash asks. “I’m, uh. . . Leia, Leia Skywalker.” I smiled, hoping she would buy my lie. “Wait a minute, ah’ve heard that name before,” Applejack stated. “Yeah! It was that strange story Dawn told all the kids.” Dash’s eye drifted to my flank, where the lack of a cutie mark stands out like a broken hoof. “Dawn?!” she whispers sharply. “Yeah. . .” I sighed and looked at the ground. “Applejack, you take Mac home. I’ll take care of this mare,” Dash orders. [Yes! Hoofjob!] Shut up! “What the hell?!” Dash asked. “Pinkie. I broke a Pinkie promise. That bit—mare is insane,” I stated. Dash chuckled. “I dunno, this seems a bit much for her. Better get you to Twilight.” She trotted off but my legs were still feeling a bit heavy, making it hard to follow. I managed to catch back up, my mind clearing itself of the haze it had been put into recently. Dash led me straight to the library, not talking much, but not falling over in laughter either. I didn’t expect her to handle this so well, as I knew how much she loved to pull pranks. In fact, she often went pranking with Pinkie. I tripped on the step up to Twilight’s door and quickly got back up and followed Dash inside. “Hey, Twilight, I got somepony for you to meet!” Dash shouted. The alicorn rounded a corner to appear from the kitchen, and smiled. “Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle, librarian, princess—” “And egghead know-it-all,” I interjected. Her mouth went agape as she struggled to think of a response. “Hah! It’s Dawn, Twilight.” Dash pointed at my flank. “He broke a Pinkie promise, but I am not sure Pinkie would go this far.” “I, uh, well the kind of magic needed to do this is beyond Pinkie.” Twilight walked over and opened my mouth with her hooves to look inside. I batted her hooves away. “You and doctors, always looking in the last place you’ll find something wrong. If you want to fix me, start with the cooch.” Twilight’s blushed and muttered something incoherent. Dash let out a nervous chuckle, and I realized I was making them uncomfortable. “Look, sorry. I just woke up as a mare and started hearing this voice in my head. It is not a good day.” “You’re hearing voices? Oh my, I really should have gotten you somepony to talk to before your, uh. . . condition worsened.” Twilight walked around me, her horn glowing. I could feel the magic creep over me as it scanned me for problems. Even that little touch excited me. [Remind me to thank Pinkie.] Sure, right after I’m done covering her toilet in super glue. [Oh, you could totally tie her spread-eagle to a bed. The best punishment would be a whip and some hot wax.] You know, now that I can hear my desires given voice, you’re right. I’m a pervert, and I’m gonna work on that. But for now, just shut back up, okay? [Aww, you know you love it when I talk dirty.] I swear to Celestia, if I hear one peep from you after they fix this I’m checking myself into Broadhoof for a psychiatric evaluation. [Party pooper.] “Well, I don’t see anything wrong, but I’ll need to run tests to try and get you back to normal,” Twilight explained with a sparkle in her eye. “And that means I’ll keep you overnight.” “Yay, sleepover.” “Thanks, Dash, I’ll take it from here. Dawn, why don’t you find a book to read on the couch until I have the lab ready,” she instructed. I sighed and went over to the couch. There were a few books on the table but I wasn’t in the mood to read. Instead, I just laid down and tried not to fidget as I waited for Twilight to fix this mess.