Forced Pony Cuddles

by Aetherpony

First published

A series of short stories where you get cuddled by ponies against your will. [I'll be trying to update this daily]

You're a random human on Earth trying to get some sleep, but these blasted ponies keep appearing in your room. You don't know where they come from, or how they got here, but they insist on sleeping with you in a non sexual manner.

Have you ever wanted to get cuddled by a pony? How about against your will? No? Yes? Either way you are getting cuddled whether you like it or not.

Warning: Adorable cuddling may or may not be suitable for younger readers.
Warning: I can't select all the ponies, but yes all ponies(and other species) are capable of cuddling you. No you're not safe.

Edited by:

Even Nightmares Need to Cuddle

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"Finally, time to get some sleep," you end with a yawn before crawling under the covers of your bed. It's been a hard forty hour work week of lifting boxes in a warehouse, but, it's finally over. At least for now, that is.... Your boss gave you the weekend off, and the first thing you're going to do is get some shut eye.

You've eaten, showered, and shaved, now all you want to do is drift off into the land of dreams. Your warm, comfortable bed does wonders in aiding you. And that slight breeze blowing through your open window makes your room the perfect temperature. It takes maybe five minutes at the most before you achieve what your aching body craves, sleep.

A few hours pass with things seemingly normal, that is until an eerie blue spark of light floats into your room from the open window. As said spark enters your room it grows in size. What began as a small fleck quickly grew into a large, bright, luminescent orb. Then, suddenly, it fades, but it leaves a rather large prize...

Black slits surrounded by bright blue stare upon your sleeping form. A wide, fanged smile can be seen shortly after. Whatever this thing is seems quite happy to see you. Suddenly, the same light this creature arrived in starts to glow from the horn protruding from its head.

For a few fleeting moments the illumination being provided from its long, slender protrusion gives any curious viewer a full prospect of just what it is. A lanky, horse like creature sporting long black wings, a black coat, and an illustrious blue mane of stars and gasses.

"Perfect, you'll do nicely." she whispers softly while looking over you. A small sparkle from her horn lifts the covers enough for her to quietly slink in under them...

The soft hairs of her coat tickle your exposed skin, and, slowly but surely, you arouse from your sleep. Through tired eyes you peer around your room thinking that you were imagining the weird sensation of silk-like fur brushing up against your back. That is, until your eyes finally start to focus and what remained of your weariness melts away.

Unfortunately, the feeling of something soft brushing up against you doesn't go away, in fact, the sensations become more pronounced by the second. Slowly you turn around afraid of whatever might be in your bed. There's still a part of your mind praying that this is nothing more than a dream, but, when you see what's in your bed you know it is not part of your fantasy world.

Black slits complemented by light teal stare into your eyes from naught but a foot away. Before you can react you feel two slender extremities wrap around your body. Your heart leaps into your throat out of fear and you're shouting comes out as more of a whimper. The creature in your bed pulls you over, closing what little distance there was.

Despite the heat and rather comfortable coat you can't help but feel nothing but fear for this thing. The fact that you can now see it’s full appearance through the glowing horn does little to put your mind at ease. There's a alien pony thing lying in bed with you, and it has you in an iron grip.

Your mind races as your fear grows. The first thing you try to do is struggle, but nothing helps. Whatever this thing is has you pinned. The second thing you try to do is yell, but a eerily chilly sensation numbs and closes your lips, keeping you from uttering a sound.

"Don't scream." the creature whispers. Whatever she is, at least she's somewhat friendly. She tries to calm you down by rubbing a hoof gingerly along your back. It sooths your panicking heart that's been exploding in your chest for the past couple of minutes.

You look down to find a beautiful collection of stars, and blue wisps of gasses running across your lips. Thankfully, when you make no motion to struggle she slowly removes what you find out to be her mane from your mouth.

Despite your mind's protests you decide to communicate with it. The fact that she can speak means that she has to understand you. "W-what are you gonna do with me?" to your surprise, she smiles before snuggling into you. From that alone you can feel heat rising to your cheeks, and the same warmth soon spreads throughout your aching body.

"I'm already doing it." a contented sigh leaves her lips followed by a gentle smile. The smell of peppermint lightly graces your senses, doing nothing more than ebbing away at the trace edges of fear you felt for her. Now it's been replaced with confusion. A strange pony-like creature is in bed with you, cuddling, and it even talks. You say the only thing that comes to mind at this point.

"I'm so confused." This elicits an annoyed snort from her.

"Listen, I had a rather rough night. Running a kingdom does that to a pony. Now please, human, be quiet and go back to sleep. I'll be gone with the sun's rise."

"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Her light tittering only confirms your suspicions.

"No human, you are not. You have been chosen to be my cuddle slave for the night. You should feel honored." You try to open your mouth in order to ask another question, but before you can she looks down upon you. Her eyes do more than enough to convey a threatening aura of sorts. The thought of trying to understand your situation doesn't seem to be the best idea at the moment.

When you make no attempt at speaking, that angry stare fades away, and your worries along with it. You'd wipe the sweat that collected upon your brow during the little exchange, but you can't exactly move your limbs at the moment.

"C-can I at least get your name?"

"Nightmare Moon, now go back to sleep," she orders, and with that out of the way she shuts her eyes, nuzzles your cheek, and falls right to sleep. You wished she cared enough to ask for your name, but if she'll really be gone by the time the sun rises then there's no need. You'll probably never see her again anyway. There's even a good chance you're dreaming right now.

Either way, her command doesn't sound like such a bad one. The stress of meeting an alien species has all but left you, only to be replaced by the same feeling of fatigue that got you into the mess. That incessant need for sleep rears its ugly head all too soon. As your eyelids get a second dose of that weighted sensation, you can't help but feel some sense of disappointment.

You had so many questions you wanted to ask her. About what kind of ruler she was, where she came from, why she chose you among the other billions of humans, and many others. But perhaps sleep would be best... After all, this is probably only a dream strung together from your sleep deprived mind anyway...

A Random Cuddly Encounter with Celestia

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After another hard day at work, you've come home to eat and shower. Being on a construction site from eight in the morning to eight at night takes a lot out of a person, you especially. Though, the pay is quite great, and you've gotten your life together as a result. A job is a small price to pay for being able to move out of your parent's house.

As far as your meals go, they're nothing special. Something easily warmed up in a microwave and ready to eat. Not the healthiest thing you could put into your body, but on the other hand, you could do much worse. Once the last bite is consumed you sigh with relief and pat your now satisfied stomach. That shower is going to do wonders for your aching body.

As you trudge up the stairs of your home the muscles in your legs and lower back seem to cry out in protest. You're not used to lifting and carrying heavy equipment, and your body is more than willing to remind you. Each step sends a miniature spasm in your muscles that nearly causes your calves and thighs to cramp.

Not wanting to fall over yourself you grab onto the nearby wooden railing for support. A small break seems to be what you need if you're going to make it up the stairs and to your bathroom. After a couple of quick breaths you can feel that crippling pain in your legs finally start to fade.

Though, you're now cautious with each step you take. The thought of having another episode like that doesn't sit too well with you. In fact, you'd like to avoid it if at all possible. Regardless of your body's condition you're able to reach the promised land: the bathroom.

Nearly forgetting the troubles your form is dealing with, you walk over, turn the knobs, and step inside your bathtub. Thankfully you've gone through this enough to know how to make the temperature just right for your aching body. The heated water runs over you relaxing you bit by bit. A contented sigh leaves your lips.

Strained muscles are finally given relief, and the cold porcelain that chilled your feet soon gives way to the lukewarm feeling from the running water. You're satisfied with just standing here letting it run over you, but you've got to actually clean yourself. After lifting an arm and sniffing underneath, what little resistance you had against soaping up quickly fades.

"Oh God that's horrible," you murmur before reaching for the soap and shampoo. You could swear your nose was burning from that rank stench that permeated from your armpit. You're sure to scrub twice in order to really get rid of all of that dirt, sweat, and grime you've managed to build up. All in all you're out of your shower in about thirty minutes or so.

Feeling clean and refreshed you turn the water off and step out. A nearby towel is the perfect instrument for wiping away the water and drying your skin. After wrapping it around your waist you take a deep breath and mentally prepare yourself for what lays ahead. However nn your haste to clean you forgot to turn on the heat.

The weather has started to take a colder turn considering the mid autumn time of year, and you reminisce just how frigid your hardwood floors can be barefoot. A game plan involving you making a sort of mad break for your room and into your bed seems to be the best thing you can do.

As soon as you open your door you swear you're greeted with a blast of cold air that nearly saps all the heat from your body. It's like your house has done a complete transformation in temperature.

With your teeth starting to chatter, and your body shaking you can't help but wonder how you managed to not feel this on the way to the bathroom. You must be more fatigued than you thought, but that's changed. The chilly air does well to perk you right up, disregarding the fact that you were now freezing. Not wanting to deal with this any longer you rapidly make your way to your room at the end of the hall.

What you find on the other side of your door causes you to freeze in your tracks. Admittedly you should have thought something was up when you saw your light on. But, you were too focused on trying to get out of the hall, into your room, and under your warm covers.

You could not ignore what awaits in your bed though. Lying there, looking dead at you from under your covers, is the muzzle of a pony creature of some kind. It appears to have the same features of one, as well as the coat.

But the obvious long, slender horn protruding from its head, the ever waving mane of turquoise, emerald, and pink, along with the large white feathered wings sticking out from under your covers leads you to believe otherwise.

You know your stuff when it comes to both unicorns and pegasi. You've read a few mythology books your high school library had back in the day. So, you know you need to be on your toes. The magic of a unicorn and the flight capabilities of a Pegasus are nothing to mess with as far as you knew. Especially when they're mixed.

But, due to her warm, welcoming smile, and bright pink eyes, what you don't feel at this moment is fear, but rather confusion. This thing doesn't appear threatening, at least judging by its gentle demeanor, but there's no way you're going to take any chances with it regardless.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?" You step through the threshold and shut your door behind you. Other than that you make no move away from it. Just in case this thing tries anything you have an opportunity to run out of your room and grab the 12 gauge in the hall closet.

"Not the best hello I've received, but I've had worse I suppose." What you realize to be a 'she' sighs as her smile starts to drop from her face. You slowly start to reach for the door without taking your eyes off of the pony creature.

"Well what do you expect? I've got an alien horse--" She cuts you off mid sentence.


"Fine, alien PONY in my house. I've never seen anything like you before, and I didn't invite you in. What, did you expect?! fanfare and bowing?" You move your hand away from the door and decide to stand there with your arms crossed.

"Well, I am a princess," she giggles; her smile returns. Unlike you she's holding no confusion or contempt in her features. In fact, she's acting so nonchalant you'd say she's done something like this before. There are so many questions running through your head about this whole thing, it's ridiculous.

Where did she come from, why is she here, and how are you supposed to get any sleep if she's in YOUR bed? That, among countless others seem great to start out with, but you settle on what you believe to be the easiest. And that'd be the one you asked when you first saw her.

"That's all fine and dandy, but you didn't answer my question." Her eyes widen with realization before she clears her throat. She closes her eyes for a few moments before adopting the most regal posture she can while lying down in your bed.

"I'm Princess Celestia," she starts. Her demeanor falters into disillusion in less than five seconds, "and I don't have a clue how I got here honestly." She removes more of your covers so she can scratch the back of her head nervously. "I suppose magic would be a fine excuse?" Your deadpan glare says otherwise, "I guess not. Oh well," she shrugs,"coming to bed?" She scoots over and pats the empty space.

"W-what?!" You lose it for a moment, "You're telling me you don't know how you got here, and the first thing you want to do is sleep, and, with, me!??!?!" You shake your head in disbelief. "The hell kind of Princess are you? A bad one if you ask me. Aren't your subjects going to be worried?" For the first time tonight you see that Celestia is capable of giving you an angry glare.

"Let me tell you something. I care for my subjects deeply. I have for over a thousand years. I raise and lower their sun. I care to their every need if it's in my power. And I meet with other nations in order to keep the peace." You were thinking of a rebuttal, but the passion in both her tone and gaze leave you at a loss for words... at least in that moment.

"You really do all of those things?" you ask in disbelief. An animal capable of not only living for a millennia, but capable of running a nation AND moving a star? To you that sounds impossible, but the fact remains is that there's still an alien, and she's still in your bed. She nods in response, "Then how are you unable to get back? Seems like it'd be easy for you."

"I don't have the power I need yet. If I can get some sleep I'll have enough magic to cast a spell that will. Now you're left with two options. Option one is you get in this bed and cuddle with me until we both fall asleep. Option two, well, there is no option two."

"W-what?! Why do I have to get in bed and cuddle with you? How does that help anything? I'm still trying to get over the fact you can talk, what makes you think I'll do something like that?" Celestia smiles at both your frantic appearance and tone.

"I'll be gone in the morning, I'm not hurting anything, and you'll get a good night’s sleep. I fail to see the problem here." You growl lowly while rubbing your temples. Judging by how she's acting, you're better off not even ordering her to leave your house. And grabbing your shotgun will probably just make things worse for you.

For all you know she's capable of traveling across dimensions, or even to the other side of the galaxy. Breaking your weapon would probably be child's play for her, even if she's low on magic. With your options severely limited you let out an exasperated sigh before pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers.

”Okay, you can stay, but I’m gonna go sleep on the couch.” You turn to try and turn your door knob, but a brilliant display of gold appears upon it. The golden aura surrounds it and you can hear the lock click into place.

At this point you realize you can react to this in many ways. One way would be to scream and make a break for your window. Another thing you could do is to try and attack the pony, after all this is quite threatening. But, you decide to do the third thing instead: you try to reason with her.

”So, I’m not getting out of this am I,” you ask, exasperated. You turn to find her shaking her head while her smile grows wider.

”Nope, you are going to be cuddling with me tonight. Whether you want to or not.”

”Why do I have to?” She puts a hoof to her chin in thought.

”Because that’ll give me more magic?” There’s no way you’re going to buy into such a ridiculous lie.

”I call bullshit.” Celestia’s hopeful smile quickly fades away. You swear you can see her eyes start to glisten with tears.

”Please,” her voice shakes and her lower lip quivers, “I haven’t had the time to lie with a pony in a thousand years. Most stallions are afraid of me, and the ones who aren’t idolize me and won’t have anything to do with me because I’m ‘pure.’ I don’t know when I’ll get a chance to cuddle again.”

It’s as if she knew just how to assault your heart. Just this alone is more than enough to make you feel as though your heart is wrenching within your chest. Every fiber of your being cries out in protest of how you’re treating this mare.

The urge to comfort her and give in seems overpowering. So much so that you swallow the lump building in your throat, take a deep breath, and walk over. But, before you sit on the bed you’re sure to make your way to your dresser. There’s no way you’re sleeping with a pony in the nude.

However, there’s a problem that’s keeping you from doing what you need to. A pair of curious eyes that you swear you can feel staring into you back. She’s still waiting for an answer it seems.

”Listen, you’ve convinced me,” you’re interrupted by what amounts to a rubber duck squeaking or a stuffed animal squeeing. Deciding to ignore it you continue, “Just give me a moment to get some boxers on alright?”

”Alright,” she giggles excitedly before clopping her hooves together. You turn back to her and find her still staring, this time with a wide, toothy grin. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end; you can’t help but feel some sort of intimidation, even if it is a friendly gesture. It’s a little creepy.

”C-Can you turn around please? Or at least shut your eyes?”

”What, are you afraid to be naked around me?”

”Well, yeah we just met five minutes ago. I’d feel uncomfortable with you looking.”

”Fine, if it gets you in this bed faster I’m all for it.” And with that she shuts her eyes and places the covers over her head for good measure. With that bit of awkwardness out of the way you quickly remove your towel, open your drawers, put on a pair of boxers from within, and turn to face her.

”There we go,” you say as you make your way over. “Just, uh,” you trail off as you take a seat at the foot of your bed, “try not to squeeze the life out of me.” You can’t believe you’re actually going to go through with this, but perhaps Celestia was right, maybe this would result in a nice warm night of slumber. Just how much power do tears hold over you?

It’s odd to say the least, though you’re happy to finally have some warmth. As soon as you’re under the covers Celestia’s hooves shoot out and wrap around you.

As soon as you’re pulled onto her unbelievably soft coat you can’t tell whether you need to gasp out of shock, or sigh out of contentment. Such a sudden action, coupled with a feeling of both security and heat… you decide to simply stay quiet and go with the flow.

”Ah, finally,” Celestia sighs before nuzzling the top of your head, “And you smell wonderful. This is going to be perfect.” If you weren’t warm enough, the fact that she adds in her wings as a secondary blanket certainly did.

Normally you’d have to wait on your own body heat in order to reach this level of comfort, but with her you didn’t have to worry about freezing for the first few minutes, at least for tonight.

”Thank you,” she whispers softly.

”Y-you’re welcome,” you respond in turn. As Celestia makes herself comfortable without losing her grip on you, you try to do the same. Finding it rather easy, you turn on your side, wrap your arms around the pony princess and close your eyes before rubbing your cheek against her soft, warm, coat. A single spark of light is enough to flip the light switch, bathing the two of you in total darkness.

While tonight may have been a strange occurrence, it goes without saying a part of you is quite happy it happened. You’ve been subject to a bland pattern for so long you almost forgot what it was like to feel surprised, and you have this random hybrid pony thing to thank for that.

And so you drift off to sleep, feeling more comfortable in your own bed then you have in years… As you do, you don't see that look of determination Celestia is giving you.

"I'm gonna cuddle you so hard...~" she whispers

Minty Lyre Cuddles

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”H-how? No, really, how did this happen again?” you ask the mint green unicorn currently hugging your leg rather tightly. Some would wonder how you ended up in such a situation yet again.

You spent your day off simply lazing about in your house. At first, things were going quite well. You were watching a few movies in your living room. Thankfully, your Netflix still had another week left before expiring so you were able to watch quite a few things.

That couch of yours was quite comfortable for the entire day. The thought of interacting with others didn’t seem like such a good idea, so you decided an inside day was needed. But, even if you did go out in public, you’d probably act out a bit.

You were still getting over the fact that a black coated pony thing cuddled with you last night. Nightmare Moon was her name, if you could recall. She had come in at some point during your sleep and demanded you cuddled her.

Despite being against it at first, you had to admit it was one of the best night’s rests you’ve ever had. Nightmare Moon was true to her word… for the most part. When you woke up, you were greeted by the wonderful smell of pancakes.

You honestly believed she had made breakfast for you… and then you saw a single half-eaten pancake on a syrup covered plate. That fiend ate ALL OF YOUR PANCAKES AND SYRUP! If she had the guts to return, you were certain that you were going to give her a piece of your mind.

So, when you heard loud thumping coming from your room later that night, you were absolutely certain Nightmare Moon had come back to cuddle with you again. The first time was an incredibly rare exception, so tonight was definitely not going to fly.

But, when you saw a mint green unicorn with a white streak going through her mane and tail, you were certain that this was definitely not her, but a different one. Needless to say, you were irritated, but you had gotten somewhat used to this song and dance. So instead of feeling any sort of intimidation, you felt annoyance. It helped that this unicorn was a dwarf compared to Nightmare.

The little unicorn took one look at you, and suddenly you realized two very important things. Number one, from the high-pitched squeal, you could tell this was a mare. Number two, she wasn’t scared of you at all. In fact, if her excitement could be used as an energy source, she could power your entire city for a year.

Not taking any sort of concern for your personal space, she leapt out of your bed and wrapped your leg in a vice grip. She literally defied the laws of her own body’s bone structure in order to squeeze your limb.

You had no idea these alien ponies could bend their legs in such a way. Now here you are, confused, and forced to listen to the little mare babble on incessantly.

”Oh wow, an alien! Everypony called me crazy, but I just knew there was life on other planets!” The sound of a rubber duck squeaking can be heard when she looks up to you with a wide smile.

”Wrong planet sweetheart,” you scowl. “You’re on Earth. So YOU’RE the alien, not me.” She dismisses the point of your statement with a nonchalant wave of a hoof.

”Details, details, it doesn’t matter. Cause I’ve got an extraterrestrial now.” You raise a brow in question. She didn’t honestly think you were her property now, did she?

”I hope you know that you’re in MY house, on MY home planet.” She completely ignores you, but she at least lets go of you. The little pony deemed it necessary to prance around you with glee.

”Oh, what are we gonna do? We could play Monopony, or we can read a book—“She stops mid prance to sit back on her rump and gasp. If her grin could get any wider, it’d fly off her face. “You can even rub my tummy, and cuddle with me!” She shakes her front legs in an excited manner.

It’s then you decide that you’ve had enough. Slowly but surely, her demeanor started to wear on your nerves until you couldn’t take it anymore. You cut her off before she can continue listing off more things by placing your hands under her front legs and lifting her up. That gesture alone was more than enough to silence her; now, she looks at you with curious eyes and a small smile.

”Unicorn, how did—”

”Lyra,” she corrects.

”Okay, Lyra, how did you get here? Did you use a spell like the last one did?”

”Nope, I didn’t use a spell.” Her smile drops off her face. “The way I got here was super weird, though.” Feeling intrigued by her broad explanation, you continue to pry.

”And what ‘super weird’ way was that?”

”Well, I was in my room.”

”Uh huh.”

”And I was reading a book.”


”Then this white temporal rift appeared in the center of my bed.”


” And when I saw it, I jumped into it. So, here I am!” She flashes you a toothy grin. Almost as soon as it appears, it disappears. “Aww man,” she whines. “There was a pony here before me? I wanted to be the first!”

”What, no, you’re not changing the subject. A fucking rift in space made you end up here?” When she smiles and nods, your body begins to heat up with anger. Not necessarily for her ending up in your house, but for her being so impulsive. “You don’t just ‘jump in’ to one of those, Lyra!”

”What? Why? Where’s your sense of adventure?” She obviously doesn’t know how dangerous doing something like that can be. You know nothing about wormholes or the like, but if it was capable of bringing her to you, it could have easily sent her into a black hole.

”You know you could have died right?” She shrugs in your arms.

”Worth the risk.” Your muscles tense at her blatant lack of personal safety. An intense, rapid beat from your heart nearly deafens you. In that moment, you swear you were going to lose control and lay into this little unicorn for doing something so reckless.

”H-hey, you okay?” she asks while waving a hoof in front of your face. You’ve gone to grinding your teeth and you swear you could hear a teakettle boiling somewhere. With what semblance of resistance you have, you try to change the subject so you won’t lose it.

”Okay, so, now that you answered my question, I’ll answer yours.” Lyra breathes a sigh of relief.

”Oh good, cause I thought you were going to explode or something. Your face is really red and—“

”Forget about how red my face is and let me finish. A pony named Nightmare Moon was the first. She also managed to take the title of “First Pony to Cuddle a Human.” Sorry.” Upon mentioning that name, Lyra’s jaw drops and she gasps in terror.

”You met N-N-Nightmare Moon.” You nod. “And she really cuddled you too?”

”Yes, and she told me I should have felt honored.”

“I can’t believe it, an alien capable of touching such an evil creature.” You shake your head in disbelief.

”Well, she was a bit rude, but she’s far from evil. If anything, she seemed irritable. Like something pissed her off.” Lyra looks to you with tear filled eyes.

”S-she ruled over us like a tyrant, but thanks to the Elements of Harmony, she was beaten. Took them a week to do it, though, and during that time, she just got meaner and meaner until her rule came to a sudden stop.” Now that’s something you’ve never heard of. However, it does explain why she was acting like that when she paid you that surprise visit.

”What are the Elements of Harmo—.”It’s then you decide not to bother asking. “You know what, never mind. It’s not like you’ll be here for more than a night anyway.” The eerie silence hanging in the room after you said that is palpable. It seems like that statement of yours took a toll on little Lyra.

Your arms start to strain from the pony’s weight. You’ve been holding her out from your body for quite a while and your muscles are starting to feel the burn from maintaining the position. Quickly, yet gently, is how you set down your uninvited houseguest.

”I-I don’t know how to get home, I’m not an Alicorn like Celestia or Nightmare Moon.” She looks to your hardwood floor, tears starting to stream from her eyes. “Bon-Bon’s gonna kill me.”

”Who?” you ask before kneeling down to her level.

”M-My roommate and best friend,” she sniffles before continuing, “O-oh Celestia what have I done? My friends and family are all back in Equestria!” she wipes away the tears that start to flow.

”So now you’re thinking about the consequences,” you mutter. While your words and demeanor would show that you do not care about the situation Lyra is in, your heart would say otherwise. With each beat pain seems to erupt in your chest from seeing her bawl on your bedroom floor.

So doing the only comforting thing you can think of, you sigh before reaching out, scooping her up, and hugging her tight. She immediately wraps her hooves around your neck and starts to cry onto your shoulder.

”Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” you say while rubbing her back, “We’ll figure something out.” You flash what you hope to be a reassuring smile. She looks up to you, her lips quiver as she tries to hold back another wave of tears.

”W-We will?” she sniffles before wiping her eyes. When you nod, you manage to get a small smile out of her. “I-I hope we can, I don’t want to be stranded here forever.”

Her statement causes you to recall a few events that have taken place in your world. You have to agree, with the way things are right now, you would not want to be in her position either. She wouldn’t make it one week out on Earth alone. If Animal Control didn't catch her, someone would probably panic if they saw her. After all, a freaky mint green horse isn't a regular occurrence here on Earth.

”I bet, would you like some hot chocolate? That’s safe to eat for your kind right?” She giggles at your lack of knowledge on her species.

”Of course it is silly, and I’d love some.” Breathing a sigh of relief you let Lyra out of your hug, get to your feet, and make your way out of your room…

A few hours pass after that. Within that time, you have made your hot chocolate, and you have managed to learn a little bit about where Lyra comes from.

Fascinating wouldn’t begin to describe how you felt as she went on about the different species, magic, and even the various nations on their world. While having obvious differences in many areas, your planet and hers shared a few similarities as well.

However, the concepts that differ, like the cutie marks, displease you. Being restricted in what you can do simply because you get a magical tattoo on your rump didn’t seem very liberating. Unlike them, humans had the potential to perform any task. You, nor any other human, had a special talent.

From the way she’s acting you believe that her obsession with aliens should have been on her rump rather than a lyre. From what she says, she didn’t play it as often as she should.

Lyra explained that she’d rather be gathering information on what could possibly exist in the universe rather than writing musical notes. When you asked why that wasn’t her special talent instead, she told you that there were a few exceptions.

A pony named Colgate turned out to be a dentist, yet she had an hourglass for a cutie mark. While both she and this “Colgate” both poke a rather large “logic” hole in their world, it at least showed you that these ponies were at least capable of learning secondary skills.

While she explained bits of her world, you in turn told her everything you could about yours. How your days and nights work, the economy, advancements in technology, and a few simple things you could easily explain. Regardless of how simple, or easy they were to talk about, she was fascinated all the same.

But, like every single fun event, there’s never enough time for you to really enjoy them. Three in the morning rolls around far too quickly. So, filled with regret for not being able to get more information, you decide to set up a place for Lyra to sleep.

You figured the couch would suffice, and she didn’t seem to mind. Your furniture is rather large for such a small pony. With her little bed ready to go, you wish her goodnight and make your way back into your bedroom.

As you lie down to sleep, your mind plays with the possibilities of just how this is going to work. Lyra can’t get home like Nightmare could. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come up with something you can work with by the time you wake up.

She’s going to need your help, and while it isn’t your responsibility to give her a hand, you can’t just leave her to fend for herself on this planet. She won’t survive here without you. Nevertheless, even though you worry for her and yourself, sleep claims you within a few minutes…


”Psst, Anon?” comes a soft voice from the edges of your sub consciousness. Shaking comes soon after the voice. Slowly but surely you can feel the weight of sleep being lifted off you.

Grumbling your displeasure at being woken up you open an eye to find darkness staring back at you. But, you know who’s shaking you, no one else is in your house other than her.

”What is it Lyra,” you yawn before sitting up in bed.

”I can’t sleep,” she whispers, “I was sort of wondering, can I sleep with you?” You sigh before rubbing your eyes.

”No, just go back on the couch. Count some sheep or something,” you look to where you feel the added weight on your bed.

”B-but I’m scared,” she whines, “I’m on some planet so far from home, and you’re the only friend I have here. Please let me stay, I don’t wanna be alone.” As soon as you hear her sniffling, you know that she’s not going back out there to the couch. Like many others, you’re a sucker for cute things crying.

”Fine, get in,” you state flatly before lifting the covers for her. She lets out a soft cheer before scrambling under your blankets. You’re met with a rather warm, small form pressing up against you. You cough, hoping she’d get the hint and move over a bit, but she doesn’t.

”Oh come on, I bet I can cuddle you so much better than Nightmare could. She was probably a selfish cuddler right?” You groan before shaking your head and getting yourself as comfortable as possible.

”I couldn’t move when she did,” you yawn while snuggling into your pillow. At that moment, you felt Lyra’s incredibly soft coat on your exposed chest.

”Well, I’m not big enough to do that, and I don’t mind you being the big spoon,” she says before turning to you to poke your nose with a hoof, “But no funny business mister, I mean it.” You try to stifle a laugh; you can’t believe she honestly thought you’d try something.

”Okay Lyra, I won’t do anything. But watch your horn alright? I don’t need you stabbing me with it.” With that bit out of the way, she promptly turns back around and bends so that you won’t have to worry about an accidental goring. As soon as you wrap your arm around her, she squeaks.

”W-wow you’re k-kinda strong,” she stutters. You swear you could feel her body heat up.

”Comes with lifting boxes all day for eight to ten hours.” You let out a yawn before adding, “Now let’s get some sleep. Goodnight Lyra.”

”Goodnight human,” she answers back. One final sigh escapes you before the heat from Lyra lulls you back to the world of dreams….

” Oh-my-gosh an-alien-is-cuddling-with-me,” Lyra whispers excitedly…


When you get up a few hours later, you’re not surprised to find that Lyra has disappeared. In her place you find a note in your hand. While it’s been crumpled up from you tossing and turning in your sleep you’re still able to discern what it says.

”Thank you so much for your hospitality,” it reads, “While you were asleep there was another white rift thingy. So I’m gonna jump into it. Wish me luck human friend! Love, Lyra.”

Your eyes read down the list until you get to another little tidbit at the bottom, “PS: I kinda took something so I could prove to my friends your kind exists. It was that thingy with the touch screen and the music… sorry I can’t bring it back.”

You know she’s referring to your music player. That thing took almost a full week’s worth of pay to afford. You’re a bit annoyed, but another one can be bought in time.

You turn to your dresser to find that not only did she snatch it off there, but apparently, the rift opened there too. With your dresser having a giant hole, it isn’t hard to figure that out. With a few added complications, you do the only thing you can do in this situation. You sigh and bring your palm to your forehead.

”Fucking ponies…”

Iron Will's The Name, Cuddling is His Game

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You manage to walk through the threshold of your house before you’re forced to drop to your stomach. Your footstool goes sailing over your head, and then it lands right on your front lawn. Luckily it’s still in one piece.

If it wasn’t for your quick reaction time you would have had a face full of cheap wooden furniture. Looking in the direction it came from you find that you’ve managed to get another guest in your lovely household.

The day prior you were visited by a royal alien pony by the name of Celestia, and you were hoping that’d be the last time you’d have to deal with such a strange occurrence. But, it looks like fate had other plans for you.

Standing in your living room, using your couch, entertainment center, and television as a makeshift barricade, was a half man, half bull creature. A Minotaur if you remember the correct term. Unlike the ones you read in mythology books this one had light blue skin for its upper body, and navy blue fur for the lower half and head.

Regardless of whether or not the color scheme was odd to look at didn’t matter. The Minotaur had your DVD collection and he was ready to throw those.

”Iron Will demands to know who you are!” he bellows before tossing your DVD box set of The Walking Dead at you. Thankfully you catch this one, and you manage set it on a nearby coffee table before having to immediately reach out and grab a few movie cases.

When he finally runs out of disks and cases to throw, Iron Will stops for a few moments. You assume he might be wondering as to why you’re not reacting in the same way as him. At this point the only thing that seems out of place is your rapid heartbeat, and that’s only because your adrenaline is pumping.

After that experience with Celestia, this doesn’t surprise you. Even though you expected to never deal with something like that again, the fact that you are isn’t making you upset. If anything you’re slightly annoyed by his bold and brash attitude. After all, it’s your things he’s throwing at you.

Unlike you though, the poor Minotaur is sweating up a storm. His chest rises and falls quickly as though he’s ran a marathon. Iron Will was probably just getting used to his surroundings when you suddenly decided to come home from the site.

When you move a bit closer his muscles tense. You don’t blame him for reacting this way, he is in a new place, and just like Celestia he’s probably never seen a human before in his life. It’s too bad he isn’t reacting the same way she did. It’d make things so much easier for both of you.

After a minute or two of silently staring each other down, his breathing finally starts to lessen until it becomes regulatory. With a final sigh he seems to relax, and when he does you in turn finally let out the breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. He raises a brow in confusion before setting down the couch cushions he had ready to throw.

”Y-you’re not going to attack Iron Will?” He steps out from around the makeshift barricade, and from there you get a better look. You noticed that he was rather well-built, but from here not only is he a few feet taller, but his muscles appear to be bulging. He’s afraid of you, yet he could crush you like an ant.

”You gave me a good reason to. You turned my home into a warzone,” you irritably state before stepping closer. As you do he in turn backs away. “Stop being irrational, just because you’re in some new place doesn’t mean everything is out to get you. At least Celestia didn’t seem as skittish.”

”Hope for the best, expect the worst. That’s Iron Will’s philosophy,” he says before fully realizing what you just said, “The Princess was here?” You nod.

”Yeah, she came by my place last night. She told me that she needed to rest so she could let her magic build back up. It ended with us cuddling in bed and her using her magic to send herself home in the morning.” This surprisingly causes the Minotaur to chuckle.

”Buddy, if you’re telling the truth, you have no idea how many jealous stallions would be trying to break down your door.”

”From what she tells me it’s the exact opposite. No suitors seem to have the balls to try and court her. Apparently I’m the only male contact she’s had in over a thousand years,” you explain before making your way over to the overturned furniture. “You gonna help me?” Iron Will stands around for a few moments in silence before looking around at the mess his little antics as caused.

”O-of course,” he chuckles nervously, “Let me help you with that couch.” At least he isn’t speaking in the third person anymore. With the two of you working together cleaning up takes no time at all.

While you were cleaning, he made mention that he was a self-help instructor, at least that’s how you interpreted it. In a way he sort of reminded you of a group that came to your school back in your younger years. A smile comes to your lips when you recall them tearing phone books in half and bending metal, you thought that was the coolest thing back then…

Though that smile disappears when he tells you just how he got here. He stepped through what he believed to be a white temporal rift in space. As it turns out that was a few hours ago, he had a little too much to drink and his minotaur buddies dared him to touch it.

When he did he didn’t get a chance to yelp as he was forcibly sucked into it. As far as getting back is concerned he has no idea how he’s going to. The rift isn’t in your living room anymore.

Knowing that there’d be a bit of a media frenzy if you kicked him out, you decided to let him stay, at least for the time being. It’s better for him to stay with you rather than exposing him to the public. You don’t want to gamble on how everyone else would react to finding out Minotaurs exist.

When the last bits of your living room were put back in their proper places, you went back outside in order to retrieve your footstool. Thankfully, none of your neighbors came outside to ask why it was in the middle of your lawn. It would have been rather awkward, especially if they so happened to catch sight of your uninvited guest. That leads you to wonder just how he could have ended up here using a tear in the fabric of space.

You were at least glad he was from the same planet. It’d be pretty accurate to say you were taking a gamble with mentioning Celestia. For all you knew this character may have come from an entirely different dimension. And even if he did come from Celestia’s world there was a chance they could have been enemies. Luckily neither of those was the case.

”It’s too bad none of those stallions have come to me for help, I’d whip em into tip top shape,” Iron Will states while pointing to his chest with a thumb.

”Really, you think you’re that good?” With that bit of unpleasantries out of the way you wipe your hands on your pants and make your way into your kitchen. “Want anything? Water, chips, soda?”

”Of course, I could make any of them fit for dating a princess like her,” he says before putting a hand to his chin in thought, “And water’s fine thank you.” And with that you open your fridge and pull out two bottles of water. After walking back into the living room and tossing him his, you open yours and take a hearty gulp.

While your day at the construction site was nowhere near as demanding as yesterday’s, it was still exhausting. Water is just the thing you need right now, speaking of which showering is a must. A rank smell of sweat and body odor permeates off of you causing you to grimace.

”Listen, Iron Will, I’m gonna grab a quick shower. You go ahead and make yourself at home, but please don’t touch anything. Well, unless you know how a remote works then by all means find something on the tv to watch.” You point to your flatscreen for emphasis.

”S-sure. You know, you’re being rather accommodating human. I figured you would have kicked me out.”

”Yeah, and if I did that the news media would be all over you in a heartbeat. I can see the headlines now,” you shake your head before walking up your stairs.

”Where’s your projector?” he calls before taking a spot on your couch.

”I don't have one. See that black rectangle on my coffee table?”


”Pick that up and hit the big red button that says power. Be sure to aim it at the tv, or you’re gonna be staring at a black screen the entire time.”

With your explanation over and done with you can now focus on the task at hand. Your grin returns in full force at the prospect of washing the grime and sweat from your tired body. Perhaps you’ll watch a movie with Iron Will after you’re done?

As you strip out of your clothes and turn the knobs to adjust the heat for your shower, you can’t help but feel surprised at how well you’re taking all of this. You have a minotaur in your house and you haven’t freaked out at the possible repercussions of that.

He told you that he can’t do magic, so his little escapades that got him here have a slim chance of happening again. You have no idea how long you can keep him housed here, and even if you could all it’d take is a family member or a friend visiting to expose him to the rest of the world.

You sigh before stepping into your tub, suddenly the prospect of cleaning yourself doesn’t seem like such a pleasant time. While scrubbing yourself to the point of your skin feeling like it’s being scratched should feel rather good, instead it doesn’t. Neither does the warm water that should be relaxing your still aching muscles.

Regardless, you still lose track of time via daydreaming, but not of an idle fantasy you’d enjoy. In fact, the thought of unwanted publicity assaults your little mental scenario.Flashing lights, cameras, celebrities, future fans, and probably animal control are many things that you’d rather do without.

Though you’re sure Iron Will wouldn’t mind, he’d probably soak up the attention, and he’d probably try to promote his self help teachings to the populace, after he was integrated of course. And by integration you of course mean something that’d probably take years for the poor minotaur. There’s no way he’d be allowed to walk the busy streets so early.

He’d have to be subjected to questioning, a physical, and probably many other unpleasant things before even being considered able to move around in public. If only he could do magic...

Your thoughts are cut off when you hear the sound of a woman moaning in what you think to be the peak of pleasure. Hacking and sputtering soon comes after when you realize Iron Will probably turned to a rather inappropriate channel. It doesn’t help that he turned up the volume.

”God damn it,” you curse before hurriedly washing away the shampoo. Within a minute you’re stepping out of your shower, wrapping your towel around yourself, and running out of the bathroom. You nearly slip and break your neck descending the stairs, but that’s not the problem.

The problem is that there’s a woman on your tv bending in a way that shouldn’t be possible. You don’t know whether to throw something at your tv or yell at Iron Will. So, you decide to do a little of both.

”Iron Will, what the fuck?!” he yells out of shock and fear before turning his head to face you.

”I-I don’t know! I was just scrolling through the channels and your batteries were getting low. I tried to change it but I hit the volume button by mistake! And... maybe Iron Will was sort of curious.”

”So? Get up and turn it off!” you scream before motioning to your tv.

”I don’t know how!”

”Jesus, are you kidding me?!” You walk over and hit the power button on the side. The two of you get one last glimpse of the girl on her knees with her mouth open before it finally shuts off.

”Uh, sorry bro,” he chuckles nervously. His face is alight with blush. “S-so you humans last quite a while. N-none of us can go longer than a minute.”

”I don’t wanna hear about that!” you exclaim. Calm down, get your bearings, and try to speak in a quieter tone. What’s done is done. You sigh while rubbing your temples.“Listen, just, finish up your water. There’s some chips and bread in the kitchen, along with other shit. Get yourself a little something to eat if you’re hungry. If you go upstairs and look in the open closet, you’ll find some pillows and a blanket. You’re on the couch tonight. I’m gonna go lie down. Tomorrow is my day off and I’m sleeping in. We’ll figure something out for you then alright? I may be pissed at you but I’m not gonna leave you high and dry on this planet.”

”C-Can Iron Will turn the tv back on--” he barely gets the question out of his mouth before you snap at him.

”NO YOU CAN’T! YOU LOST TV PRIVILEGES FOR THE NIGHT!” The muscles in the side of your face spasm a bit causing your cheek and eyebrow to twitch. With a proper feeling of anger coursing through your veins you promptly turn around, step past your couch, and walk back up your stairs.

”Th-thank you,” he mutters before wincing at the sound of your door slamming. “W-what is Iron Will gonna do? I’ve got no way out of here... no way home...” he casts a sad gaze over to the half empty bottle of water on your coffee table before sighing.


Even though you’re furious with Iron Will for something that wasn’t entirely his fault, that doesn’t stop your bed from looking quite inviting. A single breath of air is all it takes for your mood to flip like a switch from rage, to relief.

The prospect of finally getting to sleep on your soft king sized mattress always seemed to take away whatever unpleasant mood you were in. It may have cost quite a bit of money, but it was worth it to feel as though you were sleeping on a cloud every night.

After drying off and putting on a pair of boxers you decide it best to not keep your wonderful bed waiting for you. So, with a goofy grin plastered on your face you crawl under your covers, lie your head upon your pillow, and snuggle in.

Within a few minutes you can feel your consciousness start to ebb away in order to make room for sleep to take over. The last few thoughts that play through your mind are of the possible outcomes of having Iron Will stay with you. Unfortunately, those thoughts lead to rather unpleasant dreams....


Four hours have passed since you hit the sack. And within that time Iron Will helped himself to a couple of sandwiches and a bag of cheetos. While that would have been fine and dandy with you, the fact that he had gone to sleep shortly after isnt’.

What you don’t know, is that eating before sleep makes the otherwise docile minotaur sleep walk. Within an hour of Iron Will falling asleep he gets up off of your couch and stands there. In his dream he believes himself to be a little calf searching for his mother.

”M-mommy” he mutters before stepping on top of your coffee table. He shuffles forward a few steps, and it’d seem like he’s about to trip and fall, but instead he manages to catch himself and step safely off of your furniture. His head suddenly turns to look at your stairs, a tired smile plays across his lips.

”W-wait for Iron Will mommy.” He lumbers over to your stairs and somehow manages to make it to the top without falling over himself. He sets his close sights on your bedroom door... The loud slamming of your door meeting wood brings you back to reality.

”What the fuck?!” you groggily shout. Before you can utter another word you see a dark figure standing over you.

”Yay, I got you mommy,” Iron Will snickers before climbing into your bed. Your immediate reaction is to try and escape, but a heavily muscled arm reaches out to grab hold of you. A surprised shriek is all that is able to leave you before Iron Will brings you close.

”Dude, let me go!” You try to turn to him, but he’s got you facing away. The tree trunk he’d call his arm has you in an iron grip. Naturally you start to struggle. You kick him, you try to bite, and you even smack the back of your head against his chest.

All you manage out of him is a tired yawn before he nuzzles his muzzle on the top of your head. Your shivering intensifies, you’re completely trapped in his cuddle hold. In a last ditch effort you try to aim for his privates with your foot, but you’re unable to maneuver to that particular spot.

After another five minutes of useless struggling and yelling passes, you realize that there’s no way that you’re going to be getting out of this. The minotaur has you and he doesn’t even know it.

”Iron Will loves you Mom,” he mutters before letting out one final yawn. And with that Iron Will’s little adventure comes to an end. So there you lie, wide awake, feeling a combination of anger, fear, and above all embarrassment...


You don’t know how you manage it. Maybe it was his steady breathing, or you realizing that you wouldn’t get away anyway, but you somehow get back to sleep.

The next morning comes as a surprise. When you stir you find that Iron Will is no longer in bed with you. Thanking whatever for this turn of events you get out of your bed and start your morning ritual of using your toilet and shaving since you already showered last night.

When you step down your stairs you find that your couch is void of any minotaur. It’s here panic starts to set in. You rush into your kitchen, your laundry room, your pantry, and then back to your living room. There is no Iron Will to be found... but a peculiar note is seen in his stead.

A roughly scribbled message on a single piece of paper... “Dear human, there was another white temporal rift that opened up. Decided to jump into it. If it takes me to Equestria, and if it so happens you find yourself there some day, feel free to throw my name around to get free stuff. I owe ya that much for your hospitality. Iron Will thanks you again. P.s. I am so sorry I have no idea what happened last night. Let’s just uh... forget about that okay? I won’t tell if you won’t.” As soon as you finish you crumple it up and toss it at your tv.

Thank my lucky star that’s over....Hope he didn’t end up in the endless vacuum of space. Now, what’s for breakfast?

Moonlit Cuddles

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“Why did I go in on my day off?” you ask yourself before taking your key out of your pocket. You sigh with relief when the tumblers click signifying your door is unlocked. Right when you step through the threshold you toss your jacket, remove your shoes, and then leap onto your couch. You manage a single bounce before turning onto your back and reclining.

Your boss called you this morning saying that the company was getting a surprise shipment of assorted goods. When he tempted you with overtime you decided to go ahead and go in. At first, you thought it’d be a few items and nothing more. You couldn’t have been more wrong. What was supposed to be a single shipment, turned into three trailers full of boxes.

The worst part is that you couldn’t even listen to your iPhone while working. Typically you’d use it to help pass the time and make your job bearable, but thanks to Lyra that didn’t happen today, and it won’t happen again.

“Fucking hell Lyra,” you murmur before turning to face your sixteen inch screen tv. Your remote was no more than a few feet away, but when you’re unable to reach it you decide it’d be best to just lie there, rather than take two seconds to sit up and grab it. You’re too exhausted to do such a physically demanding task.

So, you opt to lie on your back and stare at your ceiling. At least this way your aching arms and legs can have a break, but you still need to take a shower. You can feel the grime on your skin, and it’s gotten to the point of you being able to smell yourself. Before you can put any further thought into the matter you hear a thrum of something. You turn to the source of the noise to find your remote starting to float.

The midnight blur aura that surrounds it reminds you of the guest that came to your home the day before yesterday: Nightmare Moon. Knowing that weird pony might be in your house again you sit up and look around your room. What you manage to find is a bit of a surprise. There is a pony in the room alright, and at first glance you almost confused her for the pony in question, but when you take a second look you’re able to spot the obvious differences.

For one, her eyes aren’t black slits, and even in the dark you could tell just how massive she was. This pony was maybe two thirds her size. Her rather stunning midnight blue coat, feathers, and horn matched the magic she was casting on your property. As for the mane and tail, hers was much more defined then the other of her species.

Dozens of little white lights dot her ever-flowing curls. You believe they may be stars. If the moon on her flank is of any indication, she’s probably associated with the night. Regardless of how she looks, she’s doing something similar to a certain mint green pony.

“Are you gonna steal the remote?” you ask nonchalantly. She gasps before stepping back a bit. The magic around her horn dissipates and you pick up the high pitched clack of plastic hitting wood.

“W-we would never do such a thing. What dost thou take us for, a thief?!” Her eyes seem to glaze over in a combination of hurt and anger at such an implication. You put your hands up defensively and step off of your couch. The last thing you need is to anger an Old English magic horse.

“Whoa now, calm down. Only reason why I asked is because the last one that came by stole something of mine.” The pony raises a brow curiously.

“Art thou referring to the iPhone? Prithee, art thou the proprietor of such technology?” You furrow your brows, there appears to be no hope in figuring out what this pony is saying. You’re not an expert on the old ways of speaking.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Just tell me what you’re doing here.” You take a seat on the arm of your couch, cross your arms, and wait for an explanation. As far as you knew, they could either get here of their own free will, or a white temporal rift brought them. You’re curious as to which reason this particular pony appeared before you, “Let’s start with introductions shall we? I’m [Data Expunged] the human.” She looks you over for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed, until finally, a smile starts to form.

“Tis a pleasure to meet you human, we are Luna, Princess of the Night.” You may not have been able to get her to stop using those Old English terms completely, but it’s a start. That “we” bit is a little much, but you can ignore it for now.

“Alright, now how in the world did you get in here?”

“We came of our own volition, to apologize for our first meeting,” she says with an apologetic grin. A pink tint strongly contrasts her otherwise darkened fur. Hold on, she’s never been here before, at least you don’t think she has. What could she mean?

“Wait, what do you mean by that? We haven’t met before have we? The only ones that came to my place before you were Lyra and—“Luna cuts you off.

“Nightmare Moon,” she scuffs her hoof upon your floor, and she tries her hardest to avoid eye contact with you. “We were, quite forceful the day before, and our arrogance did not help. We invaded your personal space and demanded cuddling from you. So, we—I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for acting like that.” A moment of silence fills the room before your chuckling takes its place. The Lunar Princess doesn’t seem to like that at all. “What do you find so humorous?”

“Y-you’re acting like, here h-hold on,” you wait for a few moments for your laughing to die down. You’re tempted to keep doing so when Luna puffs out her cheeks angrily. But, if you went back to snickering she’d probably get offended. “There we go,” you sigh when you get it out of your system. “As I was saying, you’re acting like you were hurting me. It was just snuggling, sure it was unexpected, and a little creepy, but it’s not like you did anything bad. Other than breaking and entering of course.” Luna’s eyes widen when you point out the obvious implications of committing a crime. She’s quite quick on the uptake.

“We are, prepared to make reparations for our intrusion, and for your stolen property. Oh drat I’m still doing it, curse modernization,” Luna huffs before looking away. You offer her a comforting smile.

“It’s no big deal, well to me it isn’t. It’s not as if every word coming out of you has some ‘st’ to it or something. Now, what did you plan on doing to make amends for the dreaded cuddling?” You hope she gets the basic concept of sarcasm.

To answer your question, her horn begins to glow. You gasp in awe as the light slowly grow brighter and brighter until it becomes blinding to view. Quickly you duck behind the couch and wait for it to dissipate. As soon as the magic thrum and chiming fades you peek out to find Luna standing in the same spot, except this time she’s got something floating next to her.

A rather stuffed looking burlap sack, needless to say your curiosity is peaked, that is until she uses her magic to jingle the contents inside. Coins, and lots of them, jostle around within. Knowing what lies underneath the bag you step out and approach Luna.

“W-whoa, that sounds like quite a lot of money there Princess.” You can feel the sweat forming on your brow. It only intensifies when she undoes the knot and allows a few coins to spill onto the floor. You’re no expert when it comes to items of monetary value, but you believe that she’s definitely giving you gold, and a lot of it. Your jaw drops when she floats the bag over to you so you can look inside it.

This, this is too much. With all these coins you could not only replace your phone, but you could probably pay your rent for the next few years. Luna obviously wasn’t lying when she gave you her title. But, even this seems a bit much, even for royalty. You really aren’t used to such generosity… you find yourself staring, mouth agape, at the possibilities you now have available thanks to her.

“A total of three thousand bits, I hope that it’s to your liking?” You nod wordlessly and the Princess grins. “Great, now if you’ll excuse us, we have royal matters to attend to.” As soon as she drops the bag, and her horn starts to glow again you put up your hand to stop her. There’s no way she’s going to give you a bunch of money and leave, you’d feel like an ass.

“Wait a minute there Princess.” The light from her horn fades.

“Is there a problem?” she asks.

“Yeah, a big one, I’m not gonna have you give me all of this and just leave.”

“What, do you require more? We could get you—“you stop her before she can finish.

“No no no, this is fine. It’s more than enough, but I’d feel horrible if I didn’t at least get you something to eat.” You look between her and the coins, “ever have pizza?” Not the most nutritious meal ever made, but it’d be a nice way to help pass the time. You’d at least get to talk to her a bit and learn a little about her way of life. Lyra merely combed over a few bits, Luna could probably give you a better explanation than her.

“We really should be going, as we’ve said we’ve got a bit of a night ahead of us.”

“Oh come on Princess, have you ever taken a night off?” Luna sighs before shaking her head. “How long have you been in your position?”

“Before I became Nightmare Moon, my sister and I ruled over Equestria for two centuries.” Were you drinking something, this would be the part where you’d spit it up. You had no idea creatures like her could live for so long. But, despite the utter shock, you’re able to retort.

“And don’t you think you’re due a night to yourself?” She shakes her head and your frown deepens.

“We—I knew what would happen when I took a seat upon my throne. I must perform my duty so my subjects can be insured a peaceful slumber. If I up and left for the night, you couldn’t imagine just how anxious my advisors might become, or how angry my sister might get.” She offers you a reassuring smile, “but thanks all the same. It’s refreshing to see such kindness, even if it’s from a species I’ve never seen before.” With those as her parting words, a brilliant display of blue light fills the room, and soon Luna has disappears from sight.

You’re alone with your money for a whopping ten seconds before a white temporal rift appears right where Luna left. What you find when Luna comes back through is quite hilarious, in fact it’s so hilarious it takes everything you have to keep from laughing hysterically. She’s being carried through the rift by a single white hoof holding her by the scruff of her neck. Luna’s front hooves are curled inward and her back legs dangle helplessly. She tries to flap her wings to get out of its grip, you can see her straining. But, it doesn’t seem to help her at all.

“S-sister, what is the meaning of this?!” she cries, obviously embarrassed at the display. You hear a rather motherly tone echo from beyond the rift.

“Luna, you’re due for a night to yourself. I got to have my fun, now it’s your turn. It’s only fair. Besides, you need to make more friends. And just think of how jealous everypony will be when you tell them you’re friends with an alien.” The voice giggles before the hoof drops Luna on her flank.

“B-but we know nothing of this human!” Luna calls before turning back to the rift. She tries to run back through but the hoof presents to be a problem. She’s scrambling to get through, but it’s pressing upon her head. Poor Luna isn’t able to budge an inch. She does a better job at kicking up smoke than she does going anywhere. “W-what if we mess something up?”

“Oh come now, I know you can improvise. Besides, the human doesn’t seem THAT bad, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you for a night? Would he?” Luna stops and turns her head to look at you. She’s really putting you on the spot.

“I don’t mind, as long as she doesn’t eat all my pancakes again.” And there she goes with blushing out of embarrassment. The voice laughs heartily.

“My sister is a little piggy isn’t she human?” The poor midnight blue pony can’t take it.

“Tiiiaaaaa,” Luna whines, “stop embarrassing me!”

“I’ll only stop if you agree to stay.” She doesn’t take too long to respond.

“Okay, fine I’ll stay.” Luna stops trying to push through and instead takes a seat. The hoof pats her head reassuringly.

“Atta girl, now go and make a new friend. Tartarus knows you need one,” Luna snorts angrily.

“Tia! Ow…” Luna whimpers before rubbing her aching horn. Tia decided to flick it with her hoof.

“That’s a little added insurance to make sure you don’t try to sneak home, have fun you two!” Tia cheerfully calls before bringing her hoof back. As soon as it disappears from sight the rift closes, leaving you alone with the Princess of the Night.

“So, what’s pizza?” she asks before giving you an obviously forced smile. In hopes of making the situation better, you play along. At least she’s acting interested.

“Only the best junk food in existence. Here, let me get on my ph—“you stop mid-sentence when you realize that Lyra has your phone. “Fuck, okay, I’ll get my car keys.”

“What’s a car?” Luna watches you with an inquisitive gaze while you squat down and pick up your keys off of the floor.

“Think of a carriage, but metal and capable of moving itself without any animals pulling it.” You turn to her and see the shine of wonderment in her eyes. It’s almost like she were a curious child.

“You have those?” You nod, “That sounds so exciting! C-can I come along? I wish to see how this ‘car’ works.” You shake your head, and now she looks like she’s about to cry. “B-but why?” The answer should have been obvious to her, but apparently not.

“Because on Earth you’d be considered an alien, or a mutant,” you say while moving to your door, “If someone saw you, they’d probably flip out and call the police or something.” Her ears droop and she looks to your floor.

“Okay.” It almost pains you to see her like this, but you learned your lesson from Lyra, you can’t be swayed with sadness or tears.

“I’m sorry I can’t bring you along, here.” You make your way to the entertainment center your tv is on. When you’re in front of it you squat down, open the cupboards on the bottom, and pull out your gaming console. After two or so minutes you’ve hooked up everything and have a dvd ready to go.

“What is this machine?” She asks before reaching over and bumping it with a hoof. Your xbox beeps, and the little green light on the front blinks to life. The sudden noise causes Luna to yelp and hide behind your couch for safety.

“Luna, it’s an xbox. I use it to play games and watch movies. Do you guys have projectors?” you ask before looking at your couch. Luna’s head slowly rises above the back of your couch, she nods slowly.

“Well, think of this like that, but a lot more advanced.” You start off by explaining the controller, a little bit of the menu, and of course how to insert and start the dvd that you picked out. Thankfully she wasn’t as curious about the individual disc as she was the console itself. You’d rather not explain every little thing, or go into detail about the games you have to choose from. “So, what kind of movies do you like?”

“Oh, I’ve never had time to see them, but I’ve heard they’re quite marvelous.”

“Well, I’m about to fix that. We’ll start with a horror movie called A Nightmare on Elmstreet.”

“That sounds,” she seems to be trying to find the right words, “interesting human. So, while I watch this you’ll get the pizza?” she points to the tv. You nod and she steps out from behind the couch, “Alright, sounds like a delightful evening. But, hurry back, we’re supposed to be doing this kind of thing together.”

“Yeah, I got ya. Don’t worry, I won’t be too long. I’ll probably be like thirty minutes or so.” With that bit of assurance she takes to lying down upon your sofa. As soon as your disc tray closes you hit play, grab your keys off the table, and make your way to your door. You turn back to her to find that she’s already engrossed in the images being projected. The music starts and she seems to lean in, anticipation marks her features.

Thinking that things will be fine, you shut the door and prepare to go about your business. Since she’d have no idea anyway, you decide to stick to a regular cheese pizza for her, and one for yourself. But, you’ll definitely be getting stuffed crust for both. If she’s never heard of such a delicious meal before, Luna needs to have the best it has to offer.


You know, there are many things in life you wonder about. How you got your job is one of those, same goes for the amazing deal you have on your house’s mortgage. But, the one thing that seems to top it off would have to be…

“HOW THE FUCK IS THERE A HOLE IN MY GOD DAMN HOUSE!?” Coming home with pizzas in hand, not even an hour later, you find that a large section of your house is gone. In its place is a rather giant hole. Now, one might think a giant hole would constitute something along the lines of a foot in diameter.

With this you might as well say an entire wall of your house is gone. Your yard is littered with broken pieces of wood, insulation, and dried sections of paint. How there isn’t a squad car in front of your house, you will never know. But you thank your lucky stars that you don’t have to add that onto your plate.

Rage wouldn’t even begin to describe how you feel right now. Your hands were shaking; your breathing has become forced and laborious. Little pinpricks of pain shoot through your gums from the grinding. You don’t know how this happened, but what you do know, is that it involves Luna. There’s no way that it couldn’t involve her.

When you walk up your front steps and get to your door, you don’t bother unlocking it; instead you kick it open. It was barely hanging by the hinges anyway. As soon as it hits the ground you hear a deafening scream. A blast of air and noise hits you dead on, launching you off of your feet.

Your breath leaves you, and a flare of pain shoots up your spine when you land on your narrow concrete path. Thankfully, both pizzas were still in their boxes. The soda on the other hand would have to sit for a while before it could be opened. Even in your dazed state you’re able to look up and see Luna’s head peeking out from behind your door.

“O-oh my goodness, are you okay?! “ You manage a groan before slowly getting to your feet.

“For the most part,” you groan, “What was that, and what happened to my house?” Luna chuckles nervously before shrinking away from your view. You get up, pick up the food and soda, and then you follow her inside.

Somehow the inside manages to look worse than the outside. The broken chunks of your wall are sparking from the live electricity still flowing through. Other than that you find fragments of insulation littering your hardwood flooring. Everything else seemed to be blown out from the force of Luna’s voice.

“We may have gotten scared of Freddy Krueger, and we may have screamed. Our Royal Canterlot Voice is a bit destructive. By the way, I feel insulted,” You swear you can hear a steam kettle boiling. No, that’s actually your anger as it peaks to a level you didn’t even know existed. The veins in your neck pulsate as a result. “We help our subjects when they sleep, we do not try to kill them and harvest their souls. Your movie represents a poor adaptation of our abilities.” And that sets you off.

“YOU BLEW A HOLE IN MY HOUSE AND YOU’RE MAD ABOUT A MOVIE?!” You take a few menacing steps towards her after shouting. She in turn backs away, but before she can hide herself from sight you run through what remains of your threshold. You assume that her fear for you stems from the fact that she’s unable to use magic. If she could, this situation would probably be a bit different. But, there’s no use dwelling on what ifs. Right now you have a huge problem.

“I-I can fix it!” she exclaims while grinning nervously.

“That sounds amazing!” you reply, “if you did I wouldn’t have a reason to be pissed would I? Oh wait, Celestia flicked your horn, you can’t do shit.” Her sweating intensifies and she shifts her gaze from side to side.

“Uh, Tia?” she nervously calls to the open air. You stop a few feet away and look around as well. You wait a full minute before looking back to Luna. Thankfully, that minute was enough to chip away at some of the anger that burned within your chest.

“Well, what do ya know? Looks like she’s not coming, now, what the hell am I going to do?” Luna merely shrugs in response before backing away a bit, tears well within her eyes.

“I-I don’t know. I didn’t mean to damage your property, I got scared of the movie,” her flank hits the wall and she finds there’s nowhere else she can go. “I’m sorry human, I’ll fix your home when my horn stops hurting, or if I can get a hold of Tia, calm down, please?” You’re gritting your teeth the entire time to keep from shouting at her again

At least she seems remorseful for her actions, and it’s not like you’re going to hit royalty anyway. If it’s within her power to fix the damage, then there shouldn’t be an issue. But, that doesn’t make it better, you trusted Luna to keep herself in check. Instead, she caused a rather large mess.

A combination of her fearful demeanor, and potential prospect of having your house repaired slowly but surely drains you of your fury. A few controlled breaths are all it takes to stop your heartbeat from pounding in your ears. And with one final sigh, your shoulders slump and the raging inferno within dies down to a mere flicker.

“Okay, so you can repair this?” she nods, “did any humans see you?” Luna shakes her head. “Good. Thankfully you didn’t bust any pipes from this. But, I won’t have power in my living room anytime soon, which means we won’t have any more movies. So, here’s what’s going to happen.” Luna leans in letting you know she’s paying attention. “First off, I’m gonna go shower, when I come back down we’re going to eat pizza,” you point to your boxes for emphasis, “after that I’m going to sleep, seeing this kinda drained me. You can go to sleep whenever, and you’re going to clean this up before you leave.”

“I understand,” she says with a smile. Before she can say more you lean in, your close distance makes it a bit uncomfortable, which is exactly what you were going for.

“Do you? Then I hope you realize that if you try to run, and if that rift stays open too long, I will jump through to Equestria and follow you. If that happens, I will definitely hurt you.” You pop your knuckles by balling your hand into a fist, “I don’t care how much power you have, or what your name means over there. I will find a way to beat the hell out of you. Do I make myself clear?” You swear you can hear her swallow the lump in her throat. When she nods she manages to squeak out a response.

“C-crystal. A-and I would never do such a thing. I am no coward, if I ran away after doing something like this I would never be able to look at myself in my mirror again.” Judging by her widened eyes and pinprick sized pupils you’ve definitely instilled the fear of righteous justice into her. With that out of the way, you can go back to being a friendly host.

“Awesome, I’m glad to hear it,” you say with smile while ruffling her mane. “Now, let me go get rid of all the grime and sweat.” With that you turn your back to her, set the pizzas and soda down on a nearby table, and make your way to the bathroom.


The next few hours are spent in your bedroom rather than the living room. Somehow your neighbors haven’t heard the ruckus Luna caused, nor has anyone come to investigate. As far as you know, you’re in the clear when it comes to curious eyes. But, there’s no way you’re going to take any chances, hence why you’re in your room rather than anywhere else.

Unfortunately, Luna was unable to get a hold of her sister, so any efforts to repair the damage were in vain. It does help to know that even if Luna can’t fix it tomorrow, at least you have enough gold to make the repairs. So, while you may still be angry, you’re not taking it out on Luna. There’d be no point.

She’s happy that you’ve managed to keep yourself calm after your outburst, and Luna especially loves the pizza. After the first bite you swore her pupils became dilated from the taste. Though, the melted cheese hanging from her lip was a bit distracting at the time. Only one bite into it and she’s acting like it was one of the greatest things she’s ever eaten.

It took you snapping your fingers before she managed to realize just how ridiculous she looked. In order to save face she pointed a hoof behind you and screamed. Instinctively you turned around, only to find nothing there. When you turned to look at her her you noticed the cheese was no longer hanging off of her muzzle…

Though, the two of you did more than just enjoy your dinner. Like the night Lyra came by, you and Luna each shared a few bits and pieces of each other’s worlds. While the mint unicorn gave you only a few basic descriptions, Luna was able to go into much further detail. It helps that the moon Princess has lived for centuries rather than just a few decades. Age means more knowledge to share.

She seemed intrigued when you told her about the various technological advancements made by humanity, but she was obviously aggravated when you could only tell her a little bit about each. You’re not an expert on vehicles, computers, or anything like that. So, she was forced to deal with your end lacking in the information department.

Besides, with your iPhone being in their hooves, they could learn as much as they wanted from that device. In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised if they could figure out how to replicate it. Regardless, you made sure to tell Luna that you’d like it back at the earliest possible convenience. Thankfully, Luna reassured you that she’d find a way to return it to you.

But, despite the excitement of learning about Equestria’s history, exhaustion decides to make itself known to both you and her. A quick look to the window shows that the sun’s rays were starting to light up the night sky. You went way too long without sleeping, and there’s a good chance you’re going to have to miss work, but with your monetary gain you don’t seem to care as much as you would normally.

Luna reflects your tiredness with a yawn. And with neither of you being able to keep the conversations going, you decide that it’s time to get some shut eye. Naturally you were going to take the floor while she took your bed, but she insists on sharing. What you find surprising is that the entire time she’s trying to convince you to sleep with her, her cheeks are a bright shade of red. Deciding it’d be best to keep your comments to yourself, and after she stammers out a compliment on your cuddling ability, you cave in and choose to do things her way. And you are definitely glad you did, enough so to actually give in to her near begging to cuddle with you to make up for her first visit.

While Nightmare was imposing with her cuddling, and when Lyra let you cuddle her, you took note that there wasn’t a near even amount. You were either forced to endure it, or deal with the fact that you were the dominate one in that little bit of platonic affection. But with Luna, it was an entirely different experience. She made up for the first time and much, much more.

When you wrapped your hands around her unbelievably soft coat, she curled her front legs so you could properly pull her into a hug. She returned the gesture by using her wings. Instead of feeling trapped by them, you felt safe, secure even. The ever-flowing mane didn’t attract any attention either; she managed to dim the tiny stars so you wouldn’t be distracted by the light. For once, you were actually cuddling with a pony who took the time and care to make sure your own needs were met rather than their own. It was quite a refreshing experience… and in no time at all the two of you shared a goodnight before falling asleep in each other’s embrace…


It’s past noon before you finally stir from your slumber, and just like with Nightmare Moon and Lyra, your partner was gone when you opened your eyes. Again, you’re left to question whether last night was a dream or not… but the feathers that you found in your bed dismissed that thought rather quickly. That, and the rather obvious note left upon your nightstand stood as another reminder. Unlike Lyra’s, this one actually brought a smile to your face. It reads:

“Dear human, last night was a rather interesting experience. While I may have made a rather large mistake, I’m glad you didn’t let it spoil our fun. I honestly thought I ruined whatever potential I had at making a friend… but you showed me that I was far from wrong, and for that I’m grateful. When you wake up you’ll be happy to find that Tia and I cleaned the mess I made, and repaired the damage. Thanks again for a wonderful evening, and for the delicious food… I sort of took the rest of my pizza so I could show the Canterlot chefs something new. I hope you don’t mind. PS: Your iPhone is still in Lyra’s possession, and she’ll be presenting it to the pony populace again within a week. After the presentation we will take it apart, study it, and try to replicate it. Though, I fear we won’t be able to, compared to your world we are quite a bit behind in some aspects. Don’t worry, we’ll put it back how it was so it’ll work, and it’ll be returned to its rightful owner. Thanks again for being so understanding. Signed, Luna.”

As soon as you finish reading you hurry out of your room to see if the moon princess was telling the truth. When you enter your living room you find yourself wanting to cry. It’s as Luna said, everything has been put back into its proper place. Almost as if someone turned back time in order to get it just right. To test out their work you flick on the nearby switch, and cry out with joy when your room is bathed in artificial lighting. For once, you’re happy to know that your most recent visitor was actually polite and respectful.

“You know what, ponies aren’t so bad after all,” you say to yourself with a smile. Now, what should I do today, should I go into work? You look to the sack of bits still in your floor and wave your hand dismissively. Nah, they’ll figure out that I’m not going back.