"Calm down... calm down," I whispered to myself and tried to regain my composure. "Celestia is here... but she's outside. You can still get out of this."
I sometimes like to imagine that I actually believed those delusive words back then.
The moment I said those words, a soft knocking came from the door in my back. "Hello? Can anypony hear me? Silver Blossom? Mister Woodchuck? Are you there?" She was silent for a moment before she spoke again.. "Did I just get chased out by a broom?"
"I'm not here! I'm not here!" I whispered as I crouched under the door's window, even though with the shutters pulled down it basically made no difference. Still... "I'm not here!"
Copper Cobbler was watching my frantic antics with obvious amusement. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to hide! What does it look like?!" I replied with frustration in my voice as I started to etch away from the door. Outside, the knocking continued.
"You can't just ignore her forever," Cobbler said with a smirk.
"Of course I can!" The grip on my broom tightened in defiance of the inevitable. "You just watch me!"
"You could just ask what she wants."
"Nope. Not going to happen." I shook my head with vigor. "There's no way in hell I'm letting her in!"
"Hello?" I could still hear Celestia through the door. "Could you please open? I just wish to talk with you..."
"Don't make me get my broom again!" I shook an angry fist at the door and much to my surprise, the knocking actually stopped at this. "Huh... that actually works?" The knocking started again. "Oh, come on!"
As I was frantically trying to plan my next step in the Celestia-avoidance plan, Silver Blossom took a careful step towards me, "Can't you just..."
"Make some tea?" I surprised the two by jumping to my feet. "Of course! Let's all go into the kitchen and have a nice cup of tea!" I walked past them and into the kitchen with an idiotic grin plastered onto my face, hoping that ignoring the terror standing on my doorstep would make it go away.
---
A few minutes later, both Silver Blossom and Copper Cobbler were sitting at the small table in my kitchen as I happily went about making tea.
"You're really going to ignore this, aren't you?" Cobbler asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Ignore what?" I feigned complete ignorance and placed a jar of biscuits on the table after setting the water kettle onto the stove.
"Oh, I don't know..." Cobbler replied with a smirk and fished himself one of the biscuits. "A certain alicorn princess, perhaps?"
I leaned onto the table with one of my elbows. "Nope. Don't know what you mean." I grabbed one of the biscuits and took a bite. "And yes. I do intend to ignore this."
"Why are you so scared of her?" Silver Blossom slightly tilted her head and gave me a skeptical look. "Celestia is always kind to everypony... there's really no reason to be afraid." She nibbled at her own biscuit and her face lit up in surprise. "These are good!"
"Of course, I made them myself." I pointed my half-eaten biscuit at her. "And for your question; I'm not scared of Celestia herself. I'm scared of everything that follows her and..." I suddenly stopped my speech, looked around myself for a moment... and then, with a quick motion of my hands I placed what was left of my biscuit under one of the tea cups and continued talking as if nothing had happened. "And..."
It was an impulse, a reflex... something that had become so deeply rooted in my instincts that I barely noticed myself doing it. That of course didn't mean that my two guests wouldn't notice it. "What did you just do?" Silver Blossom gave me a look as if I had gone insane.
Fun fact number three; when a bearotaur feels the winter approach, he subconsciously starts hiding food away... which is annoying to no end because there will be cookie crumbs in every nook and under every blanket and pillow.
"Huh?" I asked with slight surprise at being interrupted. "What do you mean?"
"The biscuit!" She pointed to the overturned cup on the table. "Why did you put it under the cup?"
"Come again?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "What biscuit?"
"The one under the tea cup!" she pointed at the cup again. "I can even see the crumbs around it!"
I picked up the cup and gave the biscuit a blank stare. "Huh... it's a biscuit," I paused and turned to Copper Cobbler. "It's a bit early, don't you think?"
"I'll say." Cobbler shook his head. "Guess that means it'll be a long winter this year. I'll tell the farmers on my next patrol."
"A long winter?" Silver Blossom gave him a confused look. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Cobbler returned her confused stare with a slightly puzzled expression himself. "Hibernation, of course. What else? The earlier the bearotaur starts hiding food, the longer winter will be. Don't you hibernate?"
"I... what?!" She turned to me with a dumbfound expression. "You hibernate?"
I rubbed my head with a groan. "It's... complicated, but yes, I do." I gave her a questioning look. "You don't?"
Silver Blossom only shook her head with an open mouth. "No... I don't." She paused. "I mean, I do get a bit more sleepy during winter... but I never hibernated before." I briefly wondered if hibernating was Equis' version of karma retribution for calling myself a bearotaur. In hindsight, it probably was.
"You're probably just not old enough yet," Cobbler mumbled and swallowed another biscuit. "Once you're adult you're probably going to hibernate as well."
"I am?" She seemed to think for a moment before turning to me. "Does this mean I'll have to put on weight?"
I rubbed my temples with a heavy sigh. "Let's just... wait and see if you even hibernate, okay?" The kettle started to whistle with a high-pitched note as the the water started to boil. "I mean, who knows?" I started to turn around. "For all we know, you could..." I froze where I stood.
There before me, looking at me through the open window over the kitchen sink... Celestia herself was staring at me with what I could only imagine were mixed feelings.
"I... uhm..." She seemed unsure of herself but then put on a small smile. "Hello?"
"Hi," was all I could reply with in my dazzled state.
"Hi, auntie!" Silver Blossom called from behind me.
Celestia tilted her head slightly to give Silver Blossom a warm smile before returning her attention to me. "The door was locked..." she started.
"I know," I replied with a frown. "I locked it."
"Yes, about that." Celestia cringed slightly. "Could you, maybe let me inside? I'd like to talk with you a bit and doing it through an open window is a bit... well... odd."
"You don't say," I replied even as my hand slowly etched towards the broom leaning against the sink.
"Well?" Cobbler called from the back. "Aren't you going to call her in?" I swear I could actually hear him grin.
"Oh, sure. Let me just... AHA!" I made a wild jab at her with the broom, Celestia giving a yelp as she ducked out of the way. Immediately I pulled back the broom and threw the window shut again, pulling down the shutters for good measure. "Damn alicorns..." I mumbled with a nervous sweat on my brow. "Trying to get me."
My victory was a short-lived one. There was a flash of light, and Celestia appeared inside my kitchen. "Please! There is no need for..." She ducked another one of my swings. "Will you please stop doing that?"
"Never!"
Suffice to say, this went on for a while. Me chasing her around the table... she ducking my swings... both Silver Blossom and Copper Cobbler pulling their heads in as not to get struck by accident... at least until she pulled the broom from my grasp with her magic.
"Now..." she said with that motherly voice. "Let us all just calm down. There is no need for violence here. I merely wish to talk with you, Mr Woodchuck."
"Let go of my broom!" I gave her an angered glare and turned to Copper Cobbler. "Do something about this!"
"Sorry, Woodchuck." He was barely holding back his laughter. "But I'm afraid I've been off duty since five minutes ago..." he snorted with amusement. "You can file a complaint though if you wish to..." next to him, Silver Blossom tried to suppress a giggle.
I returned my attention to Celestia. "What do you want?"
"Just as I said, I only wish to talk with you." She seemed to think for a moment. "And some tea, perhaps?"
I continued to glare at her, desperately trying to think of a way to get her out again but failing miserably. She had me in the corner, Cobbler was too busy enjoying himself and I wasn't going to use Silver Blossom for my own advantage in this. A defeated sob escaped me. "Lemon Grass... or Silver Leaf?"
"Silver Leaf would be very nice, thank you very much," she replied with a sweet smile that made me shiver.
I shook my head and turned my attention to the tea while she took a seat next to Silver Blossom. "I knew I should have stayed in bed," I cursed under my breath. "How did things turn out like this?"
When I was done preparing the tea I took a seat opposite of Celestia. "At least give me my broom back."
"The broom can return once we have established more friendly relations," she replied with a smirk before turning to Silver Blossom. "Blossom. Please go see Twilight and her friends and let them know you're alright. I am sure they'll be happy to see you."
"Oh..." She seemed disappointed at the prospect of leaving. "I guess I should... where are they?"
"Copper Cobbler can show you the way." I fished myself a biscuit without even paying my hands much attention. "It's probably better if he accompanies you there and..." I paused as I noticed that Celestia was staring at me with a puzzled expression. "What?"
"Why did you just put that biscuit under the cup?" she paused. "And why is there another one under mine?"