Horn and wings? Clearly this is the result of inbreeding. Don't be too obvious about your suspicions though.
Actually,while you're telling Celestia everything that has ahppened, you should probably ask about the state of psychological medicine in Equestria. Heaven knows both you and Twilight are going to need lots of therapy and NO YOU DON'T HAVE ILLEGAL WEED that's.... culturally significant weed in you human culture! Hahaha. Anywho, you should probably explain that Twilight wanted to summon a centaur for some--
Wait---
Why the heck is Celestia freaking out? Aren't you-- Did she just run out through the wall?
So apparently insanity is learned. With this knowledge, quietly begin a campaign to overthrow the princess and replace her with a more stable personality.
Also for no apparent reason it rains bowling balls on Narylohtep for twenty four hours.

The main problem with that is that the two ponies in front of you CLEARLY do not have both horns and wings. They are both pegasai. It's how they are holding the spears, they have them tucked under their wings. Its kind of weird, but given that they don't have hands it makes sense.

It's just the two of them there. There isn't another pony with horns and wings, and you know what Celestia looks like. You saw her picture in the newspaper, remember.

Ok take the time to think: Did you do anything wrong within the last couple of days? If you remember correctly you have not committed any crimes that you know of. Also keep in mind that Princess Celestia is going to be visiting you today so maybe these two guards are with her by chance.
With these ideas in mind you should respond by saying to them "I am Jason Morgan but now that I have answered your question can you answer one of my own? Are you two with Princess Celestia by chance?"
If they say yes follow them to her, if they say no then ask them why are they here, and if they say its confidential and they ask you to follow them be very careful around them cause if something smells fishy then something must be afoot.

But yeah, these two, they don't seem very pleased. You take a moment to think about all the things you've done in the short time you've been here. You haven't done anything wrong. At least you don't think so. Except for...

'Okay, okay, calm down,' you think to yourself after freaking out mentally for several milliseconds. 'There isn't any illegal weed in this house.... Nope, none at all. Theres...' Crap, you're going to have to think of something really clever if you want to get out of this one. You channel your inner Doctor as best you can and come up with.... 'OF COURSE!!!' you think to yourself. 'I don't have any illegal weed. What I have is... culturally significant weed from my human culture... Yeah, that's it.' Yeah, your inner Doctor supposes that is good enough (or maybe he is still high too, you're not sure), so that's what you'll tell these two about why this house smells the way it does and why there is a bong and several empty bags left out on the coffee table behind you, which you are almost certain there are, and just as certain that they can see because the coffee table can be seen from the entrance.

All right my comment was used...
Moving on,
Raise a finger as if you we're about to say something, but right when you hold up the finger, you crack.. And everything else is a daze

You raise your finger to them as if you are about to say something, which you are, as you are going to explain to them that what you have is DEFINITELY culturally significant weed and not illegal ones, and...

Brain.exe not found.
If it reboots, answer... like the badass you are.

"*sigh* Get it working again, we have to get through this and we have to get through it now."

"Captain. Is is not logical to simply answer the question that they asked. They are not asking about the-"

So derp moment right here so...
"FUCK THE PO!" Followed by the slamming of door and then go find Lyra and Bon-Bon only to find they were in a cute ball rolled up in each other so you can not, REPEAT, CAN NOT wake them up but you do so anyway

Yell loud enough the entire town hears you "oh shit the fuzz!" Slam the door in there face grab the drugs flush it down the toilet and run like hell

Impulsively SLAM the door shut! Then immediately regret that you did that and apologize to the big... scary... police officers... Then- Ooh! There's a cat!

Well... if cops (or guards, you're in Equestria after all) appear in front of door, there is only one thing to do:
Scream like a little girl in panic and slam the door into their face. Then realize they must be with the princess and calm down to open the door again. Ask them what they want and hear Bon-Bon and Lyra have sex in the background while Pinkie races through the living room searching for her Cookie Cannon mk2 plans.
Oh, and while you are at it... GET DRESSED!

1. Panic and slam the door in their faces.
2. Wake up Lyra and Bon Bon.
3. Hide in Lyra's basement.
4. Find a corner, sit down, and wait.

Without thinking, you impulsively slam the door in their faces as hard as you can.

THEY KNOW YOU HAVE THE DRUGS! Quick enter the fetal position and fake a heart attack. If need be try to wet your pants and make it as convincing as possible. You don't know what they do to guys like you in jail. And by Zeus they probably don't know either to take advantage of the foreign visitor or make bets on how long you last before crying... OK, that is probably paranoia but you still have fun with the cops, oh hey maybe the Ghost of Pinkie knows what to do. If that fails... well you're shit out of luck, have fun being a prison... bitch... have fun with that.

'F*CK!!!' You scream to yourself mentally as you fall onto the floor and curl up into the fetal position. They know you have the drugs. They know EVERYTHING!!!! There's no escape for you. You're DOOMED!!! DOOMED TO ROT IN A PRISON ON A WORLD FULL OF TALKING TECHNICOLOR PONIES!!!

"What the buck is going on!!??" you hear Lyra yell as you watch her and Bon Bon enter the room. They both look tired and have bad cases of bed mane, but that's not important right now.

Ask Bon Bon and Lyra if they know any lawyer ponies.

"Do either of you know any good lawyer ponies!?" You ask them from your fetal position on the floor.

"What!?" Bon Bon replies, noticeably confused. You're just about to open your mouth to say something, but before you do, you (for the first time today) actually take a look around the house. The coffee table is completely cleared and from the looks of it, clean. There isn't a bong or any sorts of bags to be found on it. In fact there is nothing on it at all. Also, the entire room looks pretty clear of anything suspicious, and you notice that a lot of the windows are open. So... Yeah... there is nothing to worry about here.

"You two... didn't happen to clean up this room after we were done last night did you?"

"Well duh!" Lyra exclaimed, noticeably frustrated at being woken up like this. "Why are you asking?" You don't answer that, as you start to feel another part of your brain fail at that point.

You take a deep breath, get up off of the floor, open the door back up again, get on the floor, and... no wait, wrong scenario.

You open the door again and face the two guards on the other side. Their expressions have not changed in the slightest. Behind you, Lyra and Bon Bon are both sporting noticeably shocked expressions at seeing the Royal Guard members outside.

For the love of everything, tell your name, sex, age, virginity, and blood type if necessary.

Say, "Officer, Problem?"

Ahem, now to the matter of the guards... For goodness sake man answer yes! Yes you are Jason Morgan! Go with them, see what they want, maybe ask Lyra and Bon Bon if they're legit guards, however do NOT get into more trouble at this stage! So, I know you're scared, but please, just tell the nice ponies your name.

1.) First thing's first, answer the good stallion.

"And yes, I am Jason Morgan," you then say to the two guardsponies. "Is there a problem?" Both of them remain silent for several moments, as if they were trying to process what you just said. Given that their expression's didn't change, you're kind of not sure what they are thinking.

"Princess Celestia formally requests your presence in front of the library this morning," one of them finally says to you.

Have them wait a minute while you get cloths on, then go with them, they're probobley with Princess Celestia.
See Iron Will in the streets while enroute, panic slightley at seeing a real live Minotaur.

2.) Your answer should likely consist of, "Yes, I am he. If this is about my meeting with Princess Celestia, I'll just need about 5 to 10 minutes to prepare, depending on if anypony is in the shower right now. I'd rather not show up looking less than respectable."

Its then at this point, that you realize you are still naked in front of these two as you look back down at yourself, then back to them. You really aren't worried about that though anymore. Everyone's naked here so you don't let it bother you. Still...

"Can I at least have ten to twenty minutes to get ready?" you ask them. "I, kind of, want to look my best if I'm going to meet a princess." Again, they are silent for several moments before one of them answers.

3A.) In the event the guards agree, head up to the shower...which SHOULD be free, and shower quickly. As Uncle Carlin liked to say, hit the three main spots: Mouth, Pits and Ass. After that, dry off and get into your Rarity-Best...that's the suit dear boy. Return to the stallions and tell them you're ready, while leaving a quick note for Lyra and Bon-Bon just in case.

"Very well," one of them says. "We will inform Princess Celestia of this. Do not be late." At that, they both hold their spears straight up again and march off down the road. You watch them go for a moment before you close the door and turn back to look at Lyra and Bon Bon, who both look kind of confused.

"Oh, right," she says as she brings a hoof to her chin and remembers. Bon Bon just lets out a loud sigh and rolls her eyes. You're guessing that she remembered.

From there, you head straight for the shower and clean yourself up. You take a quick one, as you don't want to keep someone whose royalty waiting. Once you're out, you get dressed in Rarity's suit. Like you said, you want to look your best. Lyra and Bon Bon even stick around while you take care of that to make sure that everything is perfect. Especially Bon Bon, she's just like your mom in that regard. Once that is over, you have a quick apple for breakfast and head outside back towards the library to meet Princess Celestia.

It doesn't take you long to get there, and Lyra and Bon Bon decide to come too, for some reason (they got themselves ready real quick too). You had no objections to that though, they've been there for you since you got here.

Eventually though, you're in front of the library. You notice what looks like a carriage parked outside, and next to it, you see a few more guards, but you also see her. You see Princess Celestia.

She is huge! These other ponies on average were about chest height for you, Big Macintosh was eye level, but Princess Celestia... compared to the rest of these ponies, she was a full on horse. She was about as large as a large Clydesdale compared to you. She even had to look down at you, just a little bit. Naturally, seeing this was kind of shocking to you. You try not to show it though.

Beyond that, she looked pretty much exactly how you saw her in the paper from before. White coat, long, flowing rainbow mane, the gold regalia. Yep, its her.

You, Lyra and Bon Bon all walk up to her. The two of them bow, you don't. Celestia just looks down at you and smiles as brightly as the sun in the sky. Neither of you say or do anything. Neither one of you is making a move.

-Meanwhile, in Canterlot-

Risen Flag sang a little tune to himself as he walked outside from one branch of the palace to the other.

He sang to himself when suddenly he looked up and noticed what looked like a bowling ball falling from the sky right on him.

"What the?" he said to himself as he used his magic and stopped it before it hit him. He then took it down and brought it in front of him so he could get a look at it. Upon closer inspection, it was a bowling ball. He didn't have much time to ponder that for very long though as he looked up again and noticed another one falling down at him again.

Thinking quickly, he stopped that one too, but then another one came down, which he stopped, and then again, and again, and again.

"Oh, for the love of!" Flag shouted as he caught what must have been the twelfth bowling ball. Then, suddenly, a quick flash of magic came from his horn. Everything went white for less than a moment, but then when it disappeared, all of the bowling balls were gone. "Hm," he said to himself before he continued on his way.

"DRAT!" Discord said to himself before he flew off to somewhere else, lest he be noticed.

-Meanwhile, somewhere out in space-

"DALEK ANTARES!!!" The commander shouted. After a few moments, the supreme Dalek came up behind him.

"I obey," the supreme Dalek said before he turned back around and left to carry out the task that had been given to him.

Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome

The Fuzz (As in the fuzzy white coats of the Royal Guard)