Chapter 1: Starting three years in
Where should I start?
Should I start with how I got here? There isn't really that much to say about it, I'm afraid. One moment I was home, the next I was here... No experiments gone wrong, no near death or actual death experience... there wasn't even a bright light or some kind of explosion or injury. I was there, and that was that.
Of course, there was a lot of confusion involved over my new whereabouts... who wouldn't be confused? But that's not really important now, is it? Not that it will take you very long to figure out where you are when you see a colored pegasus fly through the air. At least not if you have internet. So in order to speed things up a bit I'll skip that part.
Now, I knew of Princess Celestia, Discord, the Changelings, and of course, of the Elements of Harmony and their adventures... and honestly, I wanted none of that. I like simple things, calm things that leave you in good health and sane mind.
I had no intention of becoming the study object of Twilight Sparkle, nor did I wish to be tackled by Rainbow Dash the moment I entered Ponyville and I certainly didn't want to meet a god. But above all else, I didn't wish to be enrolled in some crazy adventure that would most likely get me killed or in the bed of a pony... or worse. But I knew, the moment the ponies realized I was an alien from another world, meeting the princesses and elements would be inevitable.
Either by chance or by luck, I entered Equestria nowhere even near Canterlot or Ponyville, so evading the fabled Elements of Harmony wasn't that much of a problem. I just had to make sure not to run around shouting out what I was. Instead, I found myself in a small village called Shoretrot.
The locals, how could they not, were at first skeptical of my appearance and it wasn't long until the first one asked me what I was.
I told them I was a bearotaur, half bear half minotaur, and that I needed the clothes to keep me warm since I couldn't grow a real coat... and that my name was Woodchuck. It was a wild shot on my behalf, I'll admit, but it worked. It turned out the locals had never seen a minotaur, and cross breeding though slightly frowned upon was not that unusual.
Three years later I still lived in Shoretrot, blissfully unaware of the adventures of the mane six... the only way to even get a newspaper from Canterlot was to take a two-hour train to the next village and buy it there.
During those three years my life was uneventful, no adventures, no wild romances... just a normal bearotaur going about his normal life in a small, normal village. I helped out where I could, did any part-time jobs I could find, found a place to stay... and after the second year I had even opened up my own little store. I had succeeded at setting up an absolutely normal, peaceful life.
Except for the hibernation thing. That... that part was a surprise.
As it turns out, being a human in Equestria makes you hibernate during winter... who would have guessed?
The first winter was troublesome, mainly because I surprised my neighbors by sleep walking over to their place and pillaging their food supplies like a brainless zombie. They were understanding... and we laughed about it later.
All in all though, hibernation isn't that bad. You get sleepy, you make yourself comfy at home and grow some extra hairs... and you make sure there's enough easy-to-access food hidden throughout your place so that when you do occasionally wake up into a half-brained state you'll be able to dig up something edible.
Strange thing though, you get the most incredible drive to hide food in weird places once winter draws near.
Anyway, after my first hibernation I was able to prepare and the ones after that became a normal routine to everyone... I'm still not fond of using 'everypony'. They knew I was sleeping and they left me to it... at least... after the second year.
In the second year some foals thought it would be a fun adventure to see what a sleeping bearotaur looks like. They had heard that I grew some serious facial hair during that time... which turned out to be a bad idea because they woke me up and I... there's not really any other way to say this, went on a rampage.
Luckily I was still half asleep, so the rampage was mainly me chucking my frying pans and cooking pots at ponies on the street while shouting about yellow cabbages... I do get strange dreams during winter.
No one was hurt, the foals were scolded... and it became an unspoken rule to keep a good distance from my place while I slept.
But back to the matter at hand. Remember the part about me opening a small store? It was a small house, colorful like all of the other ones. The lower part was the store and the upper part is my flat. The store itself wasn't anything special, it was my little impression of a super market and the ponies of Shoretrot liked how it had all sorts of useful stuff at its disposal. It became a social meeting place for the locals.
The mares came with their foals to talk with one another and exchange the latest gossip as they got their groceries, the foals came with their mothers to get sweets... and the stallions came to buy tools, escape their wives, make lewd jokes and hang out at 'Woody's Place' to drink cider, which in all honesty isn't that much of a real cider. It's more like apple juice that has just started to ferment.
All in all, I had made myself a new existence and life was good... For a while at least, because after three years of peace and beautiful ignorance, the unthinkable happened.
---
I had just opened the store like I always did. And like always, I had unpacked the boxes containing the wares I ordered and set them up on the little shelves. Seeing as no one was around this early in the morning, I decided to make use of the time and take out the trash that had accumulated.
So, with the trash can in my hands and wearing my apron, I went to the back of the store, opened the back door... and almost had a heart attack.
Standing outside and staring at me with a dumbfounded expression was none other than Twilight Sparkle herself, Element of Magic and student of Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria. And if that in itself wasn't already enough to send my mind reeling, next to her stood... I actually blinked my eyes to be sure but there was no doubt.
It was a girl. A human girl dressed up in the most ridiculous poncho and assorted blankets I had ever seen for that matter. By the guess of her looks, she was maybe fifteen or a little older... she barely reached my chest. And she too was staring at me with an expression that simply screamed 'what the fuck'.
The three of us continued to stare at one another, completely bewildered and shocked... then the girl started to stammer something, and I did what I always did when faced with the inevitable disaster... Pretend that it's perfectly normal and act accordingly.
I put on my best casual face, gave the two a short nod. "Ladies..." emptied the trash can into the large bin standing outside and closed the door behind me as I stepped back inside again. I locked the door for good measure, went to the front, turned the open signed to closed, locked that door too and with a happy tune on my lips went up into my room. If my calm life was about to come to an end, I might as well get some sleep before all Hell came down upon me.
And even as I closed the blinds of my windows and buried myself under my blankets... I could hear both of them scream outside. "What the buck?!"
I still hate that phrase... and it wouldn't be the last time I'd get to hear it.
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look great so far!
can't wait til' the next chapter.
also, be carefull not to write too many stories all at once, Gnoll.
Now that is a man who knows how to handle these situations correctly.
This, this I like. Love the take on a HiE as well, looking forward to more of this!
*wheeze wheeze* HAHAHAHAHAHA- *Dies of asphyxiation*
Oh c'mon I love you but you can't just leave us with that
. Please one more chapter today? I promise I'll clean my room and finish my greens. 
Stop writing things that I have to add to my list!
Actually ... don't.
Interesting start. Looking forward to more.
I dream of cabbage, too. And dams, sometimes.
When using the title along with the name, I believe you are supposed to capitalise that as well, making this 'Princess Celestia.'
'From' my place, perhaps?
'Sign to'
Well, that's my asshole deed of ponynet done for the day. Now, as to the story.... very interesting. You've been there for three years, and not managed to either invoke the attention of the princesses, nor the ire. But here is the question...
Did any of them have a midnight blue alicorn in them? Because you're screwed if that's the case!
Also...
Haha! This is a pretty good introduction. I like it, I'll be waiting for more.
This was good, I lick it.
3388742 thank you ^^
3388687 Give me a moment ;)
3388771 By the way, this is pretty damn good. However, I have one teeny little request...
... can he meet Scar?
Ergh. That feel when you discover a few stories in a row that pretty well just got released/just started, and you get hooked enough that waiting for them all to update will feel like forever.
It's evil.
Eeeeeeeeeevil.
3388775 oh god, that's a tough one... maybe later or as a bonus. I can't say yet.
"Woodchuck"
Until the day I die, every time I'll hear that word, only one thing will come to my mind :
Now, after 5 minutes of stupid giggling, I managed to read the rest... Interesting start, will follow
3388779
I know that feel bro, I'm feeling it right now.
3388857
Been feelin' that feel for a couple hours now, and the whole time, I have been looking for more to read to distract me.
All it does is make it worse.
1-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/vr/image/1369/97/1369974400138.jpg
Anywho, semi-off-topic feels aside, quite intrigued by this story at the moment. Looking forward to moar.
Hibernation... Well, that's original. Looks interesting.
GnollReader is doing a human romance fic.
Where's the choir of angels?
He see's a human have 3 years and just goes to sleep after lol? MOAR!
AH man. This is going to be good!
3388790 damnit, now it's stuck in my head (and i'm messing it all up) and i have to go to bed
Sleep now…Impending doom and wacky adventures can be dealt with tomorrow.
Grrr... You magnificent handsome devil, you and your stories.
Now I just have to follow this; it's like some kind of drug!
Some kind of wordy-like drug.
Made with words.
Keep on dealing, pusher.
3388939
Tell me about it... Now on top of that I'm thinking of writing a MLP/Monkey Island™ fic. So many silly jokes to cross over
...I like this guy.
I like how he's handling things, I like what he's done so far, and I like him when he goes crazy.
This is going to be good.
i.imgur.com/NnoGhN1.gif
well I did a little reading online and apparently bears don't poop during hibernation as they apparently eat some type of moss to create a plug. They also don't pee and I think it kind of circulates in their body.
Is our hero the same way?
or is it magic?
Ha, I like this. I enjoy fics where the human isn't getting into massive battles or scouring the land for lost treasure. Just living a simple life that sooner or later hits the proverbial fan and goes everywhere.
>bearotaur
>humans in Equestria hibernate
>sleepwalk rampage
Okay this fic is already one of my favorite human in Equestria fics and its just the set up.
OH BEAROTAUR LOL
Yeah.
Twilight and female human?
RUN.
AIn't that hard to believe a human hibernating - I tend to sleep deeply in the winter, as much as twelve hours a day, and around the solstice even more. About the only thing getting me out of bed is the old hydraulic pressure...
That's what you get for lying: The magic of the world says, "So you're going to claim to be part bear? That's fine, you can get to have to do the whole hibernation thing too. How do you like that?"
I like this guy.
I like this concept. A Human in Equestria who doesn't immediately go running off to Twilight or the Princesses (which is pretty much the same thing after all) or who seeks out & goes sappy over their "Best Pony" just a guy who settles into a peaceful life.
Or at least tries to. If claiming to be part bear makes you hibernate, then trying to avoid being dragged into adventures & intrigue in Equestria is equally tempting of fate.
I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Ohoho! Now THIS is how you tell a story! What an amusing prospect! What a fascinating tale! What a marvelous introduction! I will be following this rather intently, methinks.
Onwards!
3388790 MY SIDES
Bearotaur?
"Ladies."
Fuck yeah manners.
I've read this and second chapter and I am enjoying it so far but I have to ask what the point of the Hibernating thing is?
It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
3388742
Legend of Korra time!
... Wait... A... Human in Equestria... Actually doing what I would do if I woke up there?
THE BUCK?!
Seriously, that... you... HUH?! I thought I was the only weirdo who would avoid Ponyville and Canterlot and so on and so forth! O_o
Well, you've got my attention. Favoriting so I can get email notifications. Definitely gets a like from me for an apparent amount of originality.
Also, congratulations on the feature.
Hibernation.... Weird. But still a pretty good start.
Only problem I see, aside from the human girl screaming "What the buck" because lets face it, Twilight wouldn't scream that because she found another human.
3411074 thank you ^^
This story is breath of fresh air because I actually deals with what a normal person would do in Equestria. Thank you for posting it.
love the reaction of the main character, new twist to a used concept. Though I admit the hibernation thing has me scratching my head...
It's pretty interesting so far, but...
Hibernation? Really? Why? No, I mean honestly, why? I guess it sounds funny, but it's so random that it ends up not being all that funny at all. In fact, it seems completely pointless. I kind of wish that part had not been included because it was so out of place that it actually disrupted my reading and it took me a few seconds to actually continue.
Re.: Hibernation. Woodchuck, old son, this is your own fault. Belief magic is strong and by claiming Ursine ancestry, you were inviting the Magic of Harmony to make you act like a bear. That means winter hibernation.
It's all going to blow up now, of course. Twilight is going to know a human on sight thanks to her guest and the misadventures of one S. Shimmer shortly after her ascension. Any hope of keeping things secret are now officially dead.
3524482 crap man I find it hard to even wake up during winter.