//------------------------------// // Snacks // Story: Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story) // by RazortheAwesome //------------------------------// Mock a popular religion. Given your current state of mind you would mock a popular religion right now. Unfortunately you have no idea what popular religions exist in Equestria, or if religion is even a thing here. So doing so here would be pointless. Hey bonny, staring contest 1.2.3 GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You looks back into Bon Bon's eyes as she looks up at you with that sultry look. Those big.... giant... anime like eyes.... You stare into them AS YOU START ANOTHER EPIC BATTLE OF.... Nope... no no nope. There will be time for epic battles of staring later. Besides you're not even sure how that is supposed to work. As you stare at her, she inches closer to you a bit and drapes her forehooves over your thigh, kind of like how a dog would. Its at this moment that a certain realization comes over you. You realize that Bon Bons are a food. Being in not the most clear state of mind, you ask her if she is edible. "Hey Bon Bon," You say to her. "Yeah," she replies. "You aren't by any chance edible are you?" The second those words leave your mouth its only then do you realize how stupid that sounded. Hell you have no idea why you even asked that. God, you must be too damn high. Instead of getting mad though, Bon Bon just giggles to herself. "Do you want me to be?" She asks you in an incredibly sensual way. EPIC HUMAN/PONY THREESOME! Unlike with Twilight, this one would be consensual and thus, you are perfectly ok with it. Plus, you're so baked you don't really care that they're horses and you have hands so that's something you bring to the table. "When Lyra gets back you want to have a threesome?" (being high as a kite takes away logical thinking) Being high impairs judgement and sex is sex so you say: "You, Lyra, me... we should bang." Now while you will admit that your better judgement is at the moment impaired, and you also have to admit that these ponies are kind of adorable when they aren't trying to rape you.... or purple. Still... Do NOT have a threesome; The whole point here is to NOT get raped by a pony. Seems a bit counter-intuitive, if you ask me. They are still ponies. Even as you are now you can still see that. Still, the way she is looking at you. if you value your virginity you must *boop* her on the nose and tell her "sorry" "Boop," you say to her as you poke her on the nose. Almost instantaneously, her gazes moves away from your eyes and looks forward in confusion for a moment, as if not entirely sure what it was you just did. "Sorry." You say to her, thinking that you might have done something she didn't like. Instead though, her face contorts a little as she tries to hold back a giggle, but then suddenly bursts into a full on laughter. You can't help but laugh with her as well. Your eyes slowly meet and a deafening silence resonates throughout the room. You decide to make the first move. "doo doo doo Dooh, doo doo doo Dooh, doo doo doo Dooh..." You sing, giving her a beat. "When the night... has come... and the land... is dark..." Bon Bon starts singing. Lyra comes back in during the chorus, holding a platter of sandwiches and singing at the top of her lungs "So darling, darling, stand by me, oh stand by me..." You proceed to eat and sing for the next hour or so. After a moment of laughter your eyes meet up with hers again AND BEGIN THE NEXT no.... Instead you do something else. "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh," you begin to sing to yourself. After the third line of that, Bon Bon joins in and sings with you, bobbing her head slowly in time with the beat. Eventually, you stop singing and let her keep the beat. "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh," she keeps singing. "When the night... has come...." You start singing as she keeps the beat going. "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh." "And the land... is dark." "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh." "And the moo- oo- oon... is the only light we'll see." "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh." "No I won't... be afraid." "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh." "No IIIIIIII wo- on't... be afraid." "Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh. Doo doo doo dooh." "Just so looong. As you staaaand.... Stand by me." "So darling, darling, stand by me, oh stand by me..." the two of you turn to see Lyra start to sing as she comes back in from the kitchen. A platter of sandwiches floating next to her as well as.... It's pistachio time! ~Crack, Crack, Crack, Crack, Cracking Gangnam Style! Heeeeeeeey! Crack your nuts now! Crack, Crack, Crack, Crack, Ey! Ey! Ey! Ey! Ey! Ey!~ A bag of pistachios. 'Oh hell the fuck yes!' you think to yourself as you see that. "So darling, darling, stand by me, oh stand by me..." Lyra sings one more time as she walks back over to the couch and sets the sandwiches and pistachios down on the table. She climbs back up next to you and continues singing, as do you and Bon Bon. Eventually, the three of you make it through the entire song, with Lyra giving a big finish for the ending lyrics. At that, you all break out into another fit of hysterics. The three of you don't stop laughing for several moments. You have to admit that was pretty damn funny. Hell you almost didn't expect them to know the words to that song. You would question it, but you're too damn high. "While Lyra is away at the kitchen, there is a knock on the door. Bon Bon gets up to and looks out the window to see who it is. Her face suddenly becomes worried and she asks you "You said that it was a purple unicorn who tried to rape you, right?" you nod your head, after a few seconds there is another knock on the door and Bon Bon speaks again "She is knocking on the door". Right as you are about to break open the bag of pistachios, there is suddenly a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Bon Bon says as she gets up off the couch and trots over towards the door. Lyra grabs a sandwich for herself while you still work on the pistachios. Bon Bon reaches one of the windows and pulls down the blinds (which Lyra conveniently closed when you all started to get high) to see who is outside. Suddenly, the look on her face changes to one of complete terror. "Umm...." she says as she turns back to look at you. "You said that it was a purple unicorn who tried to rape you, right?" "Yeah," you say in response. "She's knocking on the door," Bon Bon says to you. Suddenly, as if on cue, the second those words leave her mouth, another pair of eyes looks through the window right at her. A pair of very angry, red, almost bloodshot eyes. She turns back to see them staring right at her. "EEP!" She practically screams as she lets go of the blinds and backs away from the door. You and Lyra get up off the couch and walk over to her as she backs up right towards you. Suddenly, the door the Lyra and Bon Bon's house flies off its hinges as it is torn away by magic. It gets taken out of the door frame and is thrown back like a piece of cardboard. There, on the other side of the door, are the two ponies you did not want to see. Twilight and Applejack, though they look somewhat different than before. Twilight's mane looks all frazzled now and she is wearing what looks like red war pain on her face and cheeks. She's also wearing what looks like a skintight black, rubber looking jumpsuit that covers most of her body. Applejack on the other hand, looks a little more threatening. She's wearing the same red facepaint as Twilight, but she only has two lines of red below her eyes. She also has what you can only guess is a Japanese bandanna on her stetson hat. She's also wearing a bandolier for some reason. "HERE'S TWILY!!!!" Twilight says in the creepiest voice you've ever heard come from her as she enters the house. She's looking right at you. Suddenly, you can't tell right away because you are too damn high, you're picked up in a golden glow and thrown out of the living room and into the adjacent room right next to where the stairs are. The second you hit the wall you realize that was Lyra's glow that just threw you. "Go, get out of here!" Lyra shouts as she and Bon Bon stand in front of Twilight and Applejack respectively. "We'll hold them off!" She shouts as her horn begins to glow with magic. "But..." You begin to say before Bon Bon turns to look at you. "Just go, you idiot!" she screams before she's suddenly tackled by Applejack. You need no further encouragement. You make a mad dash up the stairs and run to the second floor. Behind you you hear a fight start to break out, but you don't look back. You may have known Lyra and Bon Bon for only a short while, but you will not forget them. Not ever. The second you reach the top of the stairs, you turn down the hallway and see a window. Without hesitation and without even thinking, you run straight forward and jump right through it. You body smashes through the window, shattering the glass and sending you tumbling towards the ground. Somehow, as you land you roll back up onto your feet without stopping and break into a run. Wow, you've suddenly turned into a badass. You've been feeling more and more like Solid Snake ever since you got here. Maybe its the pants. Still, no time to ponder about comparisons to video game characters now. You've got a crazy purple unicorn to escape from. Without looking you run down the street and into the town again. You really have no idea where you are going, but anywhere is better than where you are now. As you run out of the suburb like district that you were in, you run back into the town proper and notice a very peculiar building. It looks like of like a carousel, only its clearly a building. What do you do?