Some things in life, some things are just... weird. Having an alicorn princess who is also a deity over for tea is already troubling enough, but trying to explain the cookie thing to her... yeah, that one was definitely weird. And as I tried to explain it to her, I could actually see her eyebrow travel up further and further by the second.
After the explanation, she just sat there... not saying a word and making me even more nervous than I already was. I watched her pick up her cup of tea, take a sip with closed eyes and give a small sigh before setting it down again. "I see." She opened her eyes again and gave me a searching look. "And you have been hibernating ever since you got here?"
"I have," I replied, wondering where this was heading.
"Mmh." She eyed her cup of tea in thought before mouthing the words I had been waiting for all this time. "You're not really a bearotaur, are you?"
"No..." I sighed and leaned onto the table, resting my head on one of my arms. "No, I'm not." I gave her a slightly curious gaze. "May I ask what gave me away?"
"When you live as long as I do, you get to meet a lot of strange and wondrous creatures," Celestia replied with the tiniest of smirks before frowning slightly. "And considering what... unison such a race would require... well..."
"You don't say." I buried my face in my hands as I tried to banish the horrid picture dancing before my inner eyes.
"So may I ask..." Celestia carefully asked.
"Yes?"
"What race do you and Silver Blossom represent?"
I looked up to study her features for a moment, trying in vain to decipher what was going through her head. "We're humans." I finally answered her question only to ask my own. "Have you ever... heard of our race?"
Celestia studied the cup of tea before her, carefully stirring it with her spoon as she furrowed her brow in thought before shaking her head with a sigh. "I fear I have not, but only the stars know what countless worlds exist beyond our own..." she paused, "though it would have helped to know what we were looking for all these years." She gave me a sad look. "Can you imagine what your very existence here means to Silver Blossom?"
"I've been able to make myself a picture ever since I met her," I replied with a heavy voice, "how old was she when you found her?"
"It is hard to tell since we didn't know anything about her race," Celestia answered with a sad voice, "over ten years ago, we found her crying in the royal gardens..." Her eyes closed. "Confused, alone... crying for her mother." She shook her head before turning to me again. "Why did you never come to Canterlot? Why didn't you come to see me for help?" She cast me a worried gaze. "Why do I scare you so much?"
I fidgeted on my seat for a moment; How do you tell a princess why she terrifies you without insulting her in the process?
Fun fact number ten; Blatantly insulting an alicorn princess in the face will get you in the same amount of trouble as hitting a foal will... and while execution is not something the ponies practice, an alicorn blast at point-blank range is definitely something one should avoid to provoke.
"I wouldn't say that 'scared' is the right word..." I mumbled to myself in thought.
"Really?" Celestia remarked with a dry voice and took another sip from her cup. "You tried to kill me with a broom."
"I was trying to get you out of my store... which you entered uninvited! That qualifies as self-defense in my opinion!" I retorted.
"It was an assault," she commented quietly, ignoring my short outburst, "and discrimination..."
"It was an provoked assault... and... and..." I knitted my eyebrows in thought. "Alright, I admit it; The sign was wrong." I crossed my arms defiantly. "And concerning your earlier question; I'm not so much terrified of yourself in person, as more of everything that follows in your steps."
Celestia gave me a puzzled look over her cup. "I beg your pardon?"
"Your presence is a guarantee for trouble! Changeling invasions, dragons, gods of chaos and magical mishaps!" I pointed an accusing finger at her. "No matter where you or the element bearers appear, adventure and disaster are about to ensue!" I sighed, "granted, I don't blame you for it. I know that you only wish for the best of your subjects but we both know that when trouble strikes, it will definitely strike near you or your faithful student." I leaned back in my chair. "And I wanted none of that."
Princess Celestia only stared at me with surprise for a moment, seemingly trying to collect her thoughts. "May I ask; How did you know of these things when you have been here for three years only?"
"I read the papers." Fat lie, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell her in which canny ways our dimensions were connected. The mere discussion it would tread off would likely drive me to the brink of insanity. "And just as a note..." I added. "I don't agree to Silver Blossom having to deal with such things at her age. She's a child, for crying out loud!" I could only assume that she had been part of the ordeals that the mane six went through, and even though I didn't know why... the thought greatly disturbed me.
At this point, another question rose to my mind and I used Celestia's startled moment to mouth it. "By the way... if she calls you aunt... who does she call mom?" I silently prayed it wasn't Luna.
"No one," Celestia replied after another moment of silence, her face showing a sudden sadness that surprised me. "We had hoped that with time, she would find a new mother figure... but she never did. The closest she has become to anyone is Twilight, they are almost like sisters." A small, sad smile found its way onto her lips. "Instead, she's taken to seeing me as her aunt... just like she does with Luna."
"Huh..." was all I could muster in reply. It definitely helped me to understand Silver Blossom's earlier reaction but at the same time it only made me worry about her more.
Celestia herself seemed just as lost in thought as I was at this point and the both of us simply sat there for what felt like minutes, quietly staring at our cups of tea.
"Granted..." Celestia finally spoke, breaking the silence. "You do have a point and I accept the decision you made back then..." Small victory for me, who would have guessed? "However..."
"However?" I felt like something terrible was about to happen.
She let her gaze search my features. "Now that we finally have met, there are certain things that I feel should fall under your responsibility."
"My what now?" I could feel the panic return.
"You are the only human in this world that I know of other than Silver Blossom," Celestia explained, "There are countless things about herself which she can only learn from you... Hibernation being only one of those things."
"I'm not leaving my home if that's what you're about to ask." My fingers clenched around the edge of the table for support, with me almost fearing to be whisked away at any moment.
"And you won't have to," Celestia replied with the tiniest of smirks, "as it is, we had originally planned this to be a small vacation trip. But the discovery of your existence as well as the recent... events, open up another opportunity." Her face turned serious. "And to perfectly clear; I too agree, that Silver Blossom should not have to deal with such adventures at her young age." She paused to let her words sink in. "So..."
"Please don't say it..." I whispered to myself.
"Silver Blossom and her friends will stay here, in Shoretrot, so that she may learn what it means to be a human." Celestia's smile returned.
"I can?!" Both me and Celestia turned our heads to see that Silver Blossom had returned to the store, with a huge grin on her face no less. "This is great!" She embraced Celestia in a hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"How am I supposed to house four house guests?!" I tried to regain control of the situation. "I barely have enough room for myself!"
"That won't be an issue," Celestia replied while smiling at Silver Blossom, "I am sure that the ponies of Shoretrot will be happy to supply accommodations." She turned her attention to Silver Blossom. "How are Twilight and her friends?"
"They're fine," Silver Blossom replied before smiling at me. "And they all want to meet you too! Isn't this great?"
My head slumped forward and onto the table with a small thunk. "Lovely... just... lovely."
"Will you stay too?" Silver Blossom asked Celestia, completely ignoring my devastated state.
"No. As it is, I only planned to stay for a day and now that we know what we are looking for I wish to return to Canterlot to search for any information regarding humans. But rest assured, I will visit whenever I find the time."
I tilted my head slightly to look up at her. "At least give me back my broom!"
"Once I leave, you may have your weapon back," Celestia replied with the kindest of voices and started to get up. "I will see Twilight and her friends one more time before departing," she paused, "That was very good tea, by the way. Thank you."
I let my head slump onto the table again with a groan. "You're welcome."
The stage is set. Let the epic tragedy and LOLs commence.
Well, there goes his peace. Just one thing...
What the hell does that mean?
ugg this story seems to be going bad. O well was nice wile it lasted. Thanks for the 6 beautiful chapters beforehand.
celly is a banana bitch
jesjes
3596934 Corrected, thank you
3596935 What? Explain yourself!
Bretty good.
alas, it is too short.
Could've ended worse. She could've sued him for discrimination.
3596946 That makes much more sense. You should've seen what I was typing with tiredness last night.
Never made such a mess of things!
I think you mean table.
3596953 Taking care of annoying kid. Soo much fun to read.
3596965 I guess you don't like Stare Master then...
"What...? My broom isn't a weapon!!!"
"In your hands? It is. An ineffective one but it's the thought that counts."
I'm just wondering how long it will be before the simple fact of Silver Blossom's existence draws trouble to Shoretrot. It's just a guess but I'm thinking it isn't a coincidence that she should have ended up in the palace gardens, likely when she was only 2-4 Earth years old. Some nasty types are sure to want to figure out exactly who and what she is.
He really likes to make things more complicated than they actully needs to be.
3596965 fantastic job -slow claps- you have figured out the whole of the plot. Its going to be chapter upon chapter of just babysitting hi-jinks.... oh, wait but what's this about it being a "Romantic-comedy"?
and if you seriously think that he is going to get together with Silver Blossom...
3596962 thanks
So if this is a romantic comedy, is it a one sided relationship?
3596934 mead = me 'ead
Monster strikes the town. "It is sooo very painful to be right," said the clerk.
Jolly good, an update!
Right, so... reading this chapter was a lot more painful than reading the earlier chapters was, not because of any drop in writing, pacing or plot, but simply because the inevitable happened. What's the inevitable, you might ask? Simple, Celestia forcing this responsibility and life onto our main character. She basically went up to him and said "Yup, you have to deal with this now, your responsibility. We're never gonna leave you alone."
While I'm looking forward to seeing him interact with Blossom there, I'm hoping that he won't end up being the sort of protagonist that gets pushed around by the ponies around him. One of the reasons I really loved the earlier chapters was that the mane six were arrested, which sort of, y'know, granted more power to the protagonist because he was actually in the right, judicially speaking. Seeing Celestia and the Mane Six circumvent the law and force Clerk to do something he doesn't want to aggravates me, really.
So I guess I could say that I'm hoping, dearly, that an understanding is reached and that the mane six learn not to be obnoxious assholes through the course of this fic, and I hope that Blossom sees Clerk as a father figure or some stuff like that, I don't know. Point being, The Broom must return! With vengeance and hatred in its wooden heart!
I bet a lot of trouble is going to happen around Woodchuck now since Twilight will be near by.
This only half solves the problem, trouble ALSO follows Twilight as well...
Things in the little town are about to get pretty interesting.
Like TheLordSifer said, this was a good chapter but damn if it does hit me in the feels a little. Every child knows the pain and bother of being forced to do something you KNOW you don't want to do, but like most parents, Celestia just shoves the responsibility on our store clerk.
Let's see the M6 with some animosity for once from the ponies of Shoretrot! But seriously, I hope our local bearotaur gets along with Silver, even f he wants none of that.
3597218
Why can I only like this once!?! All shall fear the might of The Broom!
I sense some town-wide resentment towards Celestia and the Mane... 3 in the near future.
3597218
I second that! That guy chased away Celestia! With a broom!
Okay, in a state of panic, but still.
3597125
Lulz.
He thinks that Celestia is a deity?
3597119
A guy impersonating a berotaur, tasked by the government to raise a young girl (who is not his daughter) and with the help of six magical ponies... take your guess
Enemy Tactical OOC Celestia inbound! It's over!
bullshit....he just said he didnt want any of that...
Still loving it but Godamnit Celestia. She went ahead and did exactly what the guy feared and told her about seconds earlier.
Right now its like Celestia is back to her "im always getting my way" mode.
It would be nice to see him put her out of it by refusing her order(that's what it was, really) and making demands.
3597355
Poor guy
3597218
His new guests are guaranteed to wear out their welcome in record time, but he probably would have wound up raising Silver Blossom anyway. We've already seen in e.g. chapter 4 that he's keenly aware of how alone and adrift S.B. is in this world. Bearotaurs gotta stick together, even if they're a package deal with crazy ponies.
On an unrelated note, I'm very curious when this story is set.
3597454
All my bits on Twilight!
~Have a good one.
I don't know why, but i got a feeling in my gut that tells that RD and AJ are going to buck someone to Tartarus once they get out of jail. This gonna be fun
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3597218
Dammit Siffer! What is it with you and making sense and shit, eh?! :Fist shake:
Also, dat romance tag. I know why it's there, it's so obvious, I can't believe I didn't see it from the start: Woody X Broom. Woody has a woody for his wood!
3597961 Best idea i've heard this morning..
MAKE IT HAPPEN AUTHOR!
3596935
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3596933
In Equestria, grand adventures and epic disasters come looking for YOU.
I think even Discord would shake his head and pity this guy.
And there goes the neighborhood...cue wacky shenanigans!
3596934 It means Woody is a viking. He went berserk when he charged a sun goddess with a broom, drinks mead, and stashes his loot. HINGA DINGA DURGEN.
Love this story!
GnollReader why must you be so cruel to the bearotaurs? They have rights too!
Got to say that I really like the change from the normal HIE fics.
Oh yeah, you know what this means
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Celestia is oddly enough being a bit passive-agressively annoying....And protag here doesnt seem to understand the idea of just saying that he wants nothing to do with it.....Hell,He could have just said that humans were solitary creatures and likely gotten away with it,Say that Silver there was the exception,Not the rule
He could just say no or say humans are creatures that live alone.
3596935 encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSEh8m5MEBxbbY4Mo0AjFptf5GUxVP8kQPv6UBrrlsizO_nu1K87A