• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 16th, 2022

Kaidan


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.

Sequels1

T
Source

Have you ever woken up as a vegetarian cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I can’t seem to do anything right, and it’s even worse when she’s in charge.

Now, we’re in a back and forth war for control of her body. I just want to eat meat again, and have a little personal space. She’s convinced I’m hitting on her friends and trying to score. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix this.

Edits by: Selbi, Abcron, Breath of Plagues, Refro, Jaestring, The Parasprite, Starbound Gurren
Pre-read by: SkeeterTL, Solidfire, Penjacker, TypewriterError, Pearple Prose
(It took all of them to corral my insanity.)
Cover art by Tsitra360
V1.1-Rated teen sex for strong innuendo.
V1.2-Pinkie Pie now enforcing RIAA guidelines.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 2521 )

Heil this amazing piece of fiction and its Führer! :V

As always, your feedback is both greatly appreciated and unsolicited. I hope you enjoyed my first chapter, as well as my attitude, as there will be plenty more of both in the future.

Is that a promise?

3094657
It's a threat... wait, I mean, yes. It's a promise. :pinkiecrazy:

And away we go with this!

~Skeeter The Lurker

Here's to one awesome HiE. I can't wait for all the mayhem to come. :pinkiecrazy:

Oh, here it is. I can't wait to see more of this piece come out.

Fantabuloso! I made up that word just for this story

Nice! :twilightsmile:

HItting

:fluttercry: I even commented on the Gdoc. Wait a moment. There may be a joke concealed in there above my intellectual capability?

*Grabs popcorn and enjoys the ride*

Even if Kaidan did try to kill me with an epilepsy test

This was awesome. All your story's are awesome!. A few things

Loved how you mention the wing-boner (yes I'm not the only one!)

I'm starting to think that Don is really Kaidan. But if you say he's don fine by me.

That's really all I have to say. I look forward to the rest of the chapters.

-brony4life14

3095473
Yeah, I already have "plans" so I made his name Don. I'll cash that chip in near the end... as for the "storm" chip, I'll cash that in with the weather channel, and request less of them in Virginia. It's too hot and humid for all these thunderstorms.

This is hilarious. The snarkiness of both Dash and Don, just wow. I can't stop thinking this is going to be an awkward misadventure for two and I'm not ashamed to admit that I will enjoy it all.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

its like a reverse of Five Score Divided by Four

3095663
an awkward misadventure for two - I've got to use that as a chapter title, it's just so beautiful... and that's exactly what it is. A little birdy told me that it's only going to get worse as they escalate their little war... :twilightsmile:

3095711
I'm flattered! I'm still clopping to r34 Dash in the hopes that when I turn 30 as a virgin and become a wizard, I am able to turn into Rainbow Dash. I know they're 25 in the canon version of the story, but it's already too late for me to turn 25...

Still, thanks. 5/4 was the first HiE I read since When a Pony Calls and got me in the mood to finally write one of my own. Wouldn't that be a shocker, if ALL the ponies were really humans cursed by Satan to live in Equestria for 25 years? And then, the fate worse than death is coming back to their 9 to 5 jobs on Earth?

3095473
love the tongue.
3094642>>3094651>>3094657>>3094764>>3094804>>3094807>>3095087>>3095148>>3095129>>3095131>>3095164
thanks for the likes
3095107
thanks for making up a word for me.

3095107 I enjoy your word and will use it in my day to day activities.

The how he got there isn't important yet, and wasting a chapter explaining how some magical muffin from the future sent him to Equestria would be insulting to the readers.

Thank you.

Keeping an eye on this.
/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\

3095785
Thanks for putting words together in an awesome way.

(clicks read later) You have piqued my curiosity:trixieshiftright:

I laughed loudly in that girlish voice I had come to associate with my new self. “That’s ridiculous! What kind of spy can steal people’s bodies?”

[Changelings, you moron!]

That... isn't how changelings work.:rainbowderp:

I looked down and focused on my walking until I found a good rhythm. The nice thing about having four legs was that it’s fairly hard to trip. As long as you kept three of them from flailing wildly around, it was not so bad.

Twilight Sparkle begs to differ.

HiE fics are like Zombie movies. Yes, they're overdone, and the worst part is sitting down to the first hour as they re-explain why there are zombies. But, once in a while you'll get a good one that skips the apocalypse and gets right to the action. That was my goal here. The how he got there isn't important yet, and wasting a chapter explaining how some magical muffin from the future sent him to Equestria would be insulting to the readers.

24.media.tumblr.com/8813b8e7ad0bf200a167f19c9ab8bae4/tumblr_mi1mc5jkQd1rqfhi2o1_500.gif

I'm not usually in to HiE Fics, but you've made this interesting :pinkiehappy:
That's why you're my favorite writer on FiMFiction

Magical muffin? You mean a Macguffin?

That being said, I'm definitely interested to see where this goes, and how long before someone figures out that Dude, er... Don, isn't Dash.

HiE fics are like Zombie movies. Yes, they're overdone, and the worst part is sitting down to the first hour as they re-explain why there are zombies. But, once in a while you'll get a good one that skips the apocalypse and gets right to the action.

the words of a true philosopher :moustache:

You shouldn’t be turned on by ponies.

^'Tis mine philosophy towards clop. So much so that I had to bust out the Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.

This is a great start to the story. Like a twisted combination of 5s/4 and "Why am I Pinkie Pie?". I am certainly looking forward to more. :pinkiehappy:

I only got this to say:

I like. :ajsmug:

[You mean it? You’re not some sort of sicko hitting on my friend?]

Yes, I’m not hitting on her.

“Fluttershy, I pulled a muscle in my stomach somehow. Can you rub it?” I said.

Now I’m hitting on her.

Ah, the classics. :rainbowlaugh:

You shouldn't be turned on by ponies.

static2.fjcdn.com/comments/I+don+t+even+clop+but+this+had+to+be+done+_254fe9850785043d24a65ef63f2368f4.png
:rainbowkiss::trollestia:

3096282
No, you could say it tastes
:rainbowdetermined2:
magically delicious.

3096142
Don't forget "When a Pony Calls". Poor protagonist isn't in Kansas anymore. :twilightblush:

3096106
Was going to quote "Walking Dead" but figured not everyone may like that example... I prefer my zombie fics with less drama, and more headshots.

3096030
It's true what they say, write tons of stuff and your favorite authors will eventually come compliment you. Now you can watch as I pay tribute to When a Pony Calls and point out my blatant plagiarism references to your story.

3095980
Thanks, I enjoy being a unique and beautiful snowflake.

3095902
Woohoo, I'm a scholar and a warrior poet on Zombies and HiE. As for walking as a pony... never tried it personally. That flash game makes me think I may have underestimated it's difficulty.

As for Changelings... well, it's Dash. I love her, but she never was the sharpest tool in the shed. For all she knows it's some changelings egg-head magic, and not an oversight on my part. :twilightsheepish: :heart:

3096360 I had a feeling that you might have been doing a bit of homage, but darned if I'm going to be as smug/cocky as to openly say it.:scootangel:

Still, keep up the great work.

3096360 don't for get the lawn mower/chainsaw/flame thrower :pinkiecrazy:

3096368
Thanks, I'm a fan of abusing protagonists... and well, I can't think of anyone more abused then Silver. And I appreciate the encouragement. :pinkiehappy:

3096382
You know, I never understood flaming zombies in games. They catch on fire and just keep on coming, becoming some sort of hybrid flame elemental / running zombie. They're quite frightening. If Zombies are that flammable, you'd think they'd burn up and die before charging you from across the room. How do they even see?

Anyway, chainsaws are an excellent alternative to head shots and C4. I've never seen a lawn mower used effectively, but I imagine it'd be gratifying.

This some good shit here. *dude, that does not sound right*

3096457
Haven't seen it before, but hopefully I can update mine a little quicker then quarterly.

3096504
Hey, if Mario and Dash say it's good shit, then it's good shit.

3096522 And, boy is it. Can't wait for the next chapter.

3095785

3095711

its like a reverse of Five Score Divided by Four

I'm flattered! [sic]
I'm still clopping to r34 Dash in the hopes that I am able to turn into Rainbow Dash.

:rainbowderp:Wow, well I'm flattered that 5s/4 actually had an effect on your clopping habits.
Also, back off, I got dibs on being her! That's been my fantasy for like 2 years. :flutterrage:

:twilightblush: Ahem, anyways, good story so far! Looking forward to see where you take this, I can see it ending like ten different ways right now.

3096589 YOU sir, need to back off. my dibs overpowers yours.

This story is shaping up to be awesome, keep up the good work, bro! :pinkiehappy:

6 hours and its already featured

PERFECTENSCHLAGG!:flutterrage:
its a word I use for something too awesome for any damn language to describe. :rainbowdetermined2:

This story is exactly that.:yay:

Bask in its glorious sheen!:raritystarry:

Interesting. Upvoted and favorited.

Nice story, and love the pace. I cant wait for more of your work! Cheers mate!

This... This is... This is... I don't know. Never been into the whole HiE thing. But this is... interesting. Gonna follow it anyways. Keep up the... work. Or something... Maybe...

Comment posted by FinalFan deleted Aug 24th, 2013
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