• Member Since 30th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 5th, 2019

Fanthrose


T

A human gets pulled into Equestria by a spell cast by Twilight. He has a lot to learn about this new world and all its inhabitants. Will he be able to cope and live among the ponies, or will he be treated as an outcast, forced to run and hide as he tries to find a way home?

This is an alternate universe.

This is my first attempt at a story, so be brutal. Don't be afraid to tell me if I messed up royally.

Edited by Lady-Kaeru

Cover pic by TheParagon

Chapters (53)
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Comments ( 2754 )

Love it. It is well written and goes pretty smoothly.

One of the better written ones I have read!

At least it's not 'Twilight screws a spell', its more 'A normal spell that did what it was meant to but somepony was unlucky', and that's a different approach.

Watching for more.

This is a pretty good story. It's well written and for it being your first story, you are already typing better than half of the authors out there.:ajsmug:

19689>>19700>>19735 Thank you all very much :pinkiehappy:

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

Like it so far, keep up the good writing!

I'm liking this story
keep it up

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

#9 · Nov 1st, 2011 · · · The TV ·

For a first story I think it is well written and can't wait for more chapters.

Ok story so far.

First off, why don't you go and check for spelling mistakes/typos? I saw a few in there.

"Big McIntosh"

I'm just wondering how you get "AJ" out of "Anthony Hartley"

:twilightoops::twilightangry2::twilightsheepish::twilightsmile:
That pretty much does a horrible job of summarizing this chapter.
Excellent story, hope it does better than most "human in Equestria" stories.

22608 My full name is Anthony Jon Hartley.

Haha! Really like the story! Plus the fact its not 'Twilight screwed up a spell' like every other fic I've read gets bonus points. Great story, aside from minor spelling errors here & there its perfect :twilightsmile:

T4

good so far. keep it up! :pinkiehappy:

22812 Thanks :D, and yea, spelling is my mortal enemy when it comes to the English language. I have NEVER been a great speller.:twilightsheepish:

22585 I've seen his name spelled Big Macintosh, and Big McIntosh. Also on the mlp fim wiki its spelled McIntosh

Started tracking, i'd better see a new one in my email soon :pinkiehappy:

Miscommunication. It can kill.
I can't imagine being bucked in the head by Applejack would be very pleasant.

This first meeting isn't going well...

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

He's squishy.
:facehoof::pinkiehappy:

I doth decree, I request A SUBSTANCIALLY INCREASED VOLUME!

-Joseph Ducreaux

Ugh... I have a headache just thinking about Applejack bucking someone in the head... Great chapter! Loved it hope to see a email update soon :twilightsmile:

I never expected this much positive feed back. You are all amazing :pinkiehappy::yay::twilightsmile::rainbowkiss:

Seriously though, I bet Applejack feels pretty embarrassed about this whole thing. I mean, she pretty much just ran the guy who saved Twilights life ragged and then gave him a applebuck to the head. Her heart was in the right place, but she has a bit of making up to do...

24038

Her heart was in the right place, but she has a LOT of making up to do...bit

Depends on the place and severity of the fracture. It could be a minor sketch impediment, or it could render one mute.
I'd give AJ a speech impediment, like a lisp or a slur.

My mom's a nurse, and she says that while you can talk with a fractured jaw it would hurt like hell. Your speech would also be kind of stilted.

So to put it simply: yes, yes, and yes.

24250
That should say speech, not sketch.

^ the above three

Do you have an estimation as to when the next chapter will be out? I have been watching this story more closely than the others, because I love the storyline. :pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

24282 Either tomorrow if i don't read any fanfics myself, or more likely Saturday if I had to give you an estimate. The biggest problem is most of the ideas I've had for this thing in the past 4-5 months its been running through my head all take place after a certain event happens in the story. After the next chapter or two, its probably going to start being more of a slice of life sort of deal.

lol at princesses 'lolwut' and everypony just like 'woops, my bad' :trollestia:

#38 · Nov 4th, 2011 · · · The TV ·

Taken from chapter 2:
“So all that work was for nothing huh?” (referring to Twilight talking about a project Celestia gave her, only to have taken away)

...totally OOC. Twilight would never say anything that would remotely upset Celestia. She respects her, if not a tad bit terrified of hurting her. I'm not trying to be a monster, but try to pay more attention to what the characters would say. Why not watch a few episodes, writing down notes on their personality. Then pretend you are these characters, saying things they would likely say.

When I rate a fanfic, I do it based on the story and how the author tells the story, and not necessarily grammar.
You do have a few spelling mistakes here and there, but I won't be picky about that because you said English isn't your first language.
HOWEVER, what really bugged me was your use of conventions (commas, periods, quotation marks, etc.). To be more specific, you don't quite grasp how to use conventions in quotations.
EXAMPLE: "But Ah don't wanna." Moaned the lump in the sheets.
This is incorrect. Pretend the quotation marks aren't there, and it would look like, But Ah don't wanna. Moaned the lump in the sheets. As you can see, the second sentence is incomplete and doesn't make any sense.
What it should be is: "But Ah don't wanna," moaned the lump in the sheets. "moaned the lump in the sheets" is still a part of the sentence. The same goes even if you use things like question marks.
EXAMPLE: (Making this sentence up) "What is that thing?" she asked. "she asked" is still a part of the sentence so "she" is still lowercase and not capitalized.
I know I sound like a grammar nazi (because I kinda am:twilightsheepish:) but this bugged me a little bit. I could lecture you for a lot longer, but I want to keep this short. You have certainly earned my five stars and another tracker. G'day.

24474 Oh english is my first language, I just cant spell to save my ass :pinkiehappy: As for the rest of the stuff, thank you for informing me. I'll try to keep that in mind when i do the rest of the chapters.

I really enjoyed it! I would gladly read more of this story.

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

those damn kids, though that was a really good chapter, and that does seem like something kids would do :derpytongue2:

... This is definitely not a good first impression.:twilightoops:

lmfao why would they juyst beat on a random creature? :applecry: no comprendo:derpytongue2: :trollestia: Very good stuff!

Ok, why does everypony want to kill the human? Well, it may just be me exaggerating since only 4 ponies have managed to hurt him so far, but none the less! Is it human hunting season or something?

A little comment about your last chapter, why did Applejack go to such an extent of HUNTING DOWN AND INCAPACITATING A.J.? I mean, if I was in her hooves, I would definitely run out an alien creature that was sleeping in one of my barns, but I certainly wouldn't go on a early day hunt or anything. I think that's an overreacting that Applejack would not make.

Third of all, why wasn't anypony watching the patient while he was resting? That's just not a good idea, leaving a creature from a different planet all alone in a bedroom like that! He could escape without anypony noticing! He could of hurt himself! What if somehow he died while he was in bed? Somepony should of been looking after him. I mean, it seems like comment sense to me, you know, not leaving an unknown creature alone in a room?

Otherwise, interesting read. Tracking.

*Facehoofs* Why can I seriously picture the Crusaders doing something like this...? Great chapter!

25652

Spike was watching him. He left to inform everyone AJ had woken up / get more ice.

And Applejack saw a monster who had attacked her friend, and badly injured her (In her view). Hunting it down and incapacitating before it could strike again would be a pretty standard reaction.

And the kids are just kids.

What happened to the fish?

A very good story - I am really looking forward to reading more of it!

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