• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen January 28th

Kaidan


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.

T
Source

Each night I’m trapped in the dark, immobilized. I hear whispers as they operate on me: they say I shouldn’t be alive. Twilight refuses to tell me about the operation. Sometimes she can’t look me in the eye. What did they do to me?

Nothing used to scare me: I kicked a dragon in the nose, defeated gods of chaos and hatred, and control the weather. Now I feel broken. My memories have shattered, I feel wrong, and I’m afraid to tell anypony how scared I am.

I can’t even do the rainboom anymore. Who am I? I’m no longer the best flyer in Equestria, yet everypony assures me I am. Why won’t they tell me the truth?
↓↓ Credits


Special Thanks:
Dreampaw the artist. Best cover art.
Editors:
ArgonMatrix - Fixed 128 errors in chapter one alone.
Animus - who is awesome and for hire.
BronyWriter - The only author to punch Celestia in the face, and live.
Jaestring - Artist, Editor, and Female all in one.
Abcron - European editor, which means his time zone and my actual sleep schedule are aligned perfectly!
The Parasprite. Need I say more?
Selbi - If your editor isn't German, you aren't trying hard enough.
OctaviaHarmony - His avatar is as sexy as his editing.
RenegadeTimelord - Doctor who?
Akumokagetsu - Awesomesauce.
(Wow, a lot of editors came and went.)

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 911 )

We can improve her! We have the technology!

That's the first thing that came up to me, lol. Can't be sure at this point, obviously, but it seems like Dashie is having a crisis of realities. Or something like that. Pay no attention to me, I'm tired and should've been in bed hours ago. But ponies are a good argument against that :pinkiecrazy:

Oh Twilight, what have you done?:fluttershysad:

I have a bad feeling about Rainbow Dash.

Like for example, that she isn't Rainbow Dash, just other mare brainwashed to think like her.

...

Maybe I'm overthinking this?

Oh.
Fuck.
Yes.

I love you.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2722842
*checks other published stories*

Yep, but you won't love me for long when this story actually starts to get into the dark themes. :pinkiecrazy:

2722863

Bitch. I preread for the parasprite and help you with FPS at times.

BRING IT ON.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Twilight making other ponies drink tea and them passing out immediately after that. Now where have I seen this before?

All in all though, a damn interesting start. The opening reminded me a lot about One by Metallica (or better said, the film it was inspired from, Johnny got his gun). Love how you managed to amnesia the hell out of her, to the point of not even doing stuff like reading anymore.

I know this is incomplete, but god damned: What happened to her? And what was the point of taking that scene from Read It And Weep and putting it in a flashback? Surely questions that will be answered eventually, but they are nagging like hell! D:

Definitely looking forward to this.

2722853

chaotic dreams is a really good writer, and that story would have been really good if the character were a relatable and relevant one like firefly (hell he mentions surprise elsewhere in the story) and not a completely random male oc
the way it's written just doesn't work imo

Fuck da police bitchs Rainbow gone cra cra

"We have the knowledge, we have the technology, we CAN rebuild her!"
"Rainbow Dash IS the Million dolar...uh... Million bit mare!"
but she doesn't know she is, can't know she is, for if she finds out....

That's why she can't stand thunder clouds now, Twilight put a suggestion in her brain to avoid lightning for safety reasons...

or perhaps she's had a pacemaker put in...

or had a badly damaged part of her brain replaced with a computer...

I'm intrigued. I'd keep reading.

2722894
Never drink tea from Twilight is the moral of every story I write...

Oh it's too soon to see a pattern to the madness, but that flashback was part of Twilight's special therapy regimen.

2722853
Now I'm curious. I want to read it, but if I've never read it then I technically can't copy it... (judging by the description though I think it's safe to say not to worry about it.)

2723071
I'd freak out too if I was trapped in my mind, unable to move but able to feel everything doctors were doing to me, and then having nightmares about it.

In fact, they tape the eyelids shut during surgery and put a sheet up as a "barrier" so if you're doing abdominal surgery and they do wake up, they don't see you picking at their guts and go into shock before the anesthesiologist can purge them and put them back under.

Yeah, I'm going to stop thinking about how 1 in 100,000 people remain conscious under sedation and are trapped, unable to move, while cut open. At least, I'll try not to. :pinkiecrazy:

2723075 2723004
If two Rainbow Dash's enjoy the story I guess I have to keep writing. Now, how do I have Celestia show up out of nowhere and magically fix her without it being a Deus Ex Machina....

2723191 It is the identity reassignment part I am worried about.

Hmm... I think I know where this story is going already, but I'm going to track it to see if I'm right. :twilightsmile:

2723200
I want to say something awesome that both alleviates your concerns and isn't spoilery.

She's a changeling! Dammit! Another changeling fic! ABORT! ABORT!

Hmm, it's not identity reassignment. I'm horrible at this, but I can safely say not that. It seems too easy. :pinkiehappy:

2723203
I love hearing people's theories. It just gets awkward when they thought up something a lot better than I did. :rainbowlaugh:

Very intriguing. Keep it up.

2723200
Finally figured out what you meant. I had a line in there about her name from an earlier draft that wrongly indicated identity re-assignment. It's going to be more like Sunset then like Them (which looks like either a body swap, or the best trans-gender surgery in history.)

I only steal get inspired by the best :twilightsheepish:

I'm confused. I guess I'll just find out as the story goes.

Wow, this is a great read. I could feel the tension throughout the entire chapter, and it sent chills up my spine. Wonderful job!

Looking good so far. I'm, of course, very curious as to what the procedure was.
Brain transplant, and now she's in a different body?!
Now that I'm done, and have had my silly moment, seriously, what happened?

FEATURED! FEATURED I TELL YOU KAIDEN! FEATURED! :pinkiehappy:

2723649
Yay!

Note to self: come up with better twist then "she was a changeling all along" :trollestia:

2723466
Thanks, I can finally put my medical knowledge to good sadistic use.

2723571
It's top secret, and if I try to tease you I'd probably accidentally spoil it. :fluttershysad:

But it involves her brain, more specifically it's high speed collision with an immovable object....

2723439
That's the best kind of confused. Now we can be confused together. :applejackconfused:

2723789
I thought it had been long enough that it'd be hipster to make her a changeling. :raritycry:

On that note, I'll celebrate this unexpected feature by releasing a rushed high quality chapter two this Sunday. I'm just having trouble deciding how many juicy details to release, and how many to keep up my sleeve. I'm pretty sure Dash is gonna go bully Fluttershy for answers, though, because it is in the master planning document. :scootangel:

2723785
Immovable object?
...
Did she hit Celestia's flank?
:trollestia:

2723828

If Celestia's flank is the immovable object, and we all know Big Mac is the unstoppable force....

Faust have mercy if those two ever have sex.

:rainbowlaugh:

2723834
I'm fairly sure Equestria would implode.
Maybe take a few neighboring universes out as well.
...
At least we'd get confirmation of Equestria's existence right before we die.

While the grammar's a little funny, I doubt that the use of both 'forelegs' and 'forearms' is a mistake.This new Rainbow Dash has at least one other person inside her brain. I hope you can keep the mystery going Kaidan, this first chapter has lots of potential.

2723827
WOO!
Now shut up, I haven't read it yet.

2723785 I am putting my bets on RD having a cybernetic body. :twilightsmile:

2723872
I didn't run this by my editor because he was busy, and I just wanted to see what people thought. Now that it's featured, I bet he feels really silly since his name is right there in the description, and I have sullied his reputation. :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, horses do have arms, however it's the kind of thing only a hippologist would know and/or care about. In this instance, using anatomically correct terms will both confuse my readers and entertain me. What more could I ask for? :trollestia:

fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/207/9/2/pony_conformation_chart_by_catspaw_dtp_services-d41qudk.png

p.s. It doesn't seem fair they get to have an elbow and a knee in the same extremity. I guess it explains their freakish flexibility though.

2723878
:facehoof:

2723834

Something like the scene between Wonder Woman and Superman from The Dark Knight Strikes Again? (which resulted in earthquakes, tidal waves and more forms of destruction on a massive scale).

2723924

"Come with me if you want to live."
derpicdn.net/thumbs/800/600/2013/05/21/12_52_08_653_330439__UNOPT__safe_rainbow_dash_grimdark_artist_neroscottkennedy.jpeg

Or maybe a zombie, because that horse hasn't been beaten to death.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/014/1/3/zombie_rainbow_dash_by_aisu_isme-d4mde6k.png

There are so many possibilities, at least for now. I think we can safely cross the following off the list:
Chuck Norris
Changeling
Scootaloo cosplaying Dash and the zipper got stuck.

So, the girls are all hiding something from Twilight?

I dislike conspiracies, especially between friends as close as the girls. Plus, stories like this are usually very predictable, at least as far as the plot goes. The twist is usually different, but the journey is fairly standard and formulaic. Still, you've shown... something that piqued my interest.


I'll track, but if this starts getting too "They're all out to get me," I'm bouncing.

:facehoof::rainbowlaugh: Haha, I'm totally being blackmailed. Burn in hell, Kaidan. I guess I have to edit this sometime soon.

2723962
There's no reason both 'forearm' and 'foreleg' can't both be technically-correct terms.
2723999
You can probably cross time travel off the list too.

2724040
I took your name down, for now. After all, there is more than one way to blackmail an editor.

2724006
I think you meant from Dash, and to a degree. Twilight knows what was done (I didn't get around to mentioning it, but this is post season three finale so she's an alicorn. And there went half my upvotes...)

The others would naturally just be glad Dash is alive, and who would doubt Twilight? Still, I hope the dynamic stays unique, as I like focusing on the emotions and characterizations much more than the inevitable 'twist'. Each of her friends will react differently, believe her or Twilight to different extents, and be willing to go to different lengths to fill in the gaps of Dash's memory. They don't all know, nor are they all clueless, about the accident and how badly injured Dash was.

2724061
Correct.

But do I really have to cross off time travel? :raritycry:

2724114
Yellow unicorn syndrome?

Good story I'm a little confused on the scenes but either way it's good jeep it up

Hmm, interesting, confusing, and thought provoking, to say the least. I always love a story where Rainbow cracks, under pressure or not. :rainbowwild: In my opinion, what I garnered from this story is that her accident was indeed that bad, and her own shattered psyche is trying to interpret the sensory inputs and broken memories into something her mind can understand, but it's not doing a great job of it. Like back before all the air waves went digital, where you move the antenna around on a TV, but it was fuzzy, at times you could hear, but not see, and vice-versa. In short: her mind is an outdated television trying to convert the incoming BBC airwaves into audio and sound.

On the other hand, this ALSO seems like an identity reassignment story, with her previous identity trying to take back control of her body. (And I saw the spoiler bar, I'm NOT going to pass over it. I hate spoilers and that disappearing black bar gives me teh willies)

Anyway I look at this, you certainly have my attention. Excuse me, I have a favorite and up vote button to click.

EDIT: actually, I'm staying away from all the comments. Did I mention I REALLY hate spoilers?

MOAR! I'm loving this.

2723999 That looks like RD as Raiden from Metal gear solid 4. Not like the terminator.

So I'm gonna guess dash was struck by lightening and her brain was fried, so twilight rebuilt the body and put in an artfical brain. That has most of dashes memories but not all of them?:rainbowkiss:
Great story btw

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