“Pinkie Pie!” A familiar voice shouted. “Open up. I need to talk to Dash.”
Reflexively, I curled up into a ball, knowing the next thing I would see would be Twilight banishing me. During the mirror pool incident, I hovered there as she sent back several dozen Pinkie Pie’s. Each one was inflated, popped, and in a pink swirl sent back to the mirror pool. I wonder if it hurts?
“Oh hi, Twilight! Um.” Pinkie pulled out a pair of headphones and adjusted the tone of her voice. “Dash isn’t here right now. Please leave a message after the beep,” Pinkie said. She then made a beeping noise.
“What on—” Twilight materialized in the room with a loud popping noise. “Pinkie, this isn’t a game! I’m worried about Dash.”
I rolled over and hid under the covers. This couldn’t be how it all ended, she had come to banish—no—to kill me. It was just like Count Vlad; he had to kill Daring Do once she learned too much! Twilight would pop me, make a new clone, and start over.
“Twilight, that’s very rude!” Pinkie opened the door and tried to push Twilight out. “You can’t just teleport into a pony’s room and scare them.”
“Pinkie, I just want to talk. Okay?”
Pinkie stopped trying to push Twilight out of the room and looked back at the bed. “I don’t think she wants to talk to you.”
Twilight flared her wings when Pinkie tried to push her back out again. “I heard about what happened at the hospital. Dash freaked out, and when the nurse tried to ask what’s wrong, she kicked two orderlies in the face!”
I threw the blanket off, tired of their pointless debate. “That’s a lie! I found out they faked my medical records. You replaced me with a doppelganger! All the clues were there in Daring Do and the Invasio—”
Twilight broke out laughing. I jumped down to the floor and marched over to her.
“What’s so funny?! Stand up so I can wipe that smile off your face!” I shouted.
Slowly she managed to compose herself. “S-sorry, Dash. I thought—I thought you had relapsed. You’re really freaking out over the plot of a book? Daring Do and the Invasion of the Body Snatchers is fiction.”
“Stop it!” I shouted. She was deliberately taunting me—using big words and spinning lies to hide what she’d done. I'd given her plenty of chances to tell me the truth. Now I was going to show her just how relapsed I was with a well-placed right hook.
“Dash, wait,” Pinkie interjected. “Twilight, it’s rude to make fun of somepony, especially when they’re scared. And, Dash, you know hurting her will only make you feel worse. Why don’t we talk about what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that Dash is convincing herself these wild theories are real. There’s no conspiracy, no vampires or zombies. She’s perfectly fine,” Twilight snapped back.
“No, what’s wrong is that you lied to me. I snuck into the hospital and saw my record. I know it was changed overnight. And I overheard you talking to Nurse Redheart about the spell you cast on me during surgery, right after you told me I had no surgery!”
I could feel my anger boiling up at her audacity. Lying to my face in front of Pinkie Pie, thinking it’s funny I got worked up over an adventure book. All I could focus on was hitting something. Before I knew it, I had bucked the wall behind me sending several bits of dust and paint falling off it.
Twilight was no longer smiling. She simply stood there, intently watching me. She seemed to be straining to meet my gaze.
“So what is it, huh?” I advanced on her now that she no longer looked as intimidating. “I know you got to Applejack, she’s a horrible liar! Telling me you two are just trying to keep me from trying the stunt again, pathetic. And what about Fluttershy? Did you use your fancy magic so she’d come get you if I visited her? Did you brainwash everypony but Pinkie?”
Twilight put up a hoof to stop me. “Dash, you’re confused. You hit the ground going mach one. You shouldn’t be alive, so of course there was surgery! Thanks to my magic however, it was a minor one.”
“But that’s not what you said! And of all the Daring Do books to let me check out, I bet you wanted me to read that one and flip! You knew if you made me freak out you’d get to knock me out and replace me again!”
Twilight marched up to me and backed me into a corner. “I’m running out of patience! So now I’m doing secret surgeries and using fictional books that you chose to checkout to plant wild theories in your head? I’m just making clones and throwing them away? Why? All I want is for you to be healthy!”
Twilight looked at the ground in defeat. I could see her crying, but knew it was just part of her act.
“And all I want is for you to leave me the hell alone!” I flared my wings and stomped my hoof, and retreated a little, giving me some space. Being stuck in Pinkie’s room left me feeling claustrophobic and very nervous. If she chose to, Twilight could cast a spell before either of us could react.
Pinkie popped up between us with a pair of black reading glasses on. “Hmm, it sounds to me like you two both want things to go back to normal. How about we throw a party today to celebrate ‘being normal’?” Pinkie clapped her two hooves together. “How would that make you feel?”
“Pinkie!” Twilight and I both shouted in unison.
The tension seemed to melt in an instant, and Twilight walked back towards the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I growled. “I want answers.”
Twilight turned back and frowned. “Some of us have jobs and can’t afford to play hooky. I’m going back to check on the library. If you want answers, feel free to stop by and talk like a civilized pony, not a crazed mare!”
My eyelid twitched. “What? No! I don’t want to come hang out in the library. I want to know exactly how you saved my life, and in terms I can understand.”
She looked me in the eye and smiled. “I can’t explain magic to a pegasus, but I can tell you this. I kept you alive after the crash when you stopped breathing. I fixed the subdural hematoma and stabilized the fractured C2-C4 vertebrae so you’d live long enough to reach a hospital. I did whatever it took to save you, because you’re my friend. And if you can’t get that through your thick skull, know that Celestia would have been proud if she’d been there. We can’t afford to lose the Element of Loyalty, not with the current state of foreign affairs.”
Twilight spun around, slamming the door behind her on her way out.
“Well, that was awkward,” Pinkie observed. “I wonder if she’ll be at the party tonight.”
“I’m taking a nap, wake me up when the party is ready.”
I flew up to the top bunk and flopped onto my belly, letting my wings loosely spread out. I heard Pinkie say something and leave to get the party ready. Gummy began chewing on one of my back hooves, which must have tasted nasty.
I suppose the whole doppelganger idea is a little silly. Still, I could be a clone or a changeling, or something else really bad, right? If she told the truth and she really did all that just to save me, maybe I really don’t need to know how? She must have a good reason because she’d never risk disappointing Celestia.
Maybe I can learn a little more at the party, and get a good night’s sleep. I bet it’ll be so much easier to figure out what the hay Twilight is hiding in the morning. If I can figure out what she doesn’t want to tell me, then maybe I can finally figure out why I feel so wrong.
Pinkie had thrown the party together quite fast. With her special talent being parties, though, I suppose I ought to stop underestimating her. The nap had turned out to consist mostly of unanswered questions and Gummy’s odd fascination with my hooves. On the bright side, I figured out how Pinkie kept her hooves so clean. It makes me glad my pet is a turtle, or tortoise, or whatever he is; I always forget which.
The blanket was very soft and I did not want to get up. Gummy was currently sleeping between my hind legs, and I finally felt like I might fall back asleep.
Pinkie bounced into my field of view, her pink hair filling my vision. “Dash! Wake up sleepy head!”
“Bah! Pinkie, what time is it? Fifteen more minutes?” I asked.
“Nope! It’s eight at night! You only get fifteen more minutes if it’s six in the morning, silly!”
I got up and jumped down, stretching out. “Did I miss anything interesting?”
“Not really.” Pinkie pulled a small notepad out of her mane. “Lyra is super busy pouring some sugar on Bon Bon, Vinyl’s busy with ‘wubs’, oh and all the fillies in town are coming because we have free cake!”
I laughed. “Isn’t the cake at your parties always free?”
“I never thought of it like that! No wonder everyone loves my parties so much. Come on, they’re all waiting for you!”
“Whew, so I suppose I feel a little better knowing it was just a book. Didn’t Twilight seem weird to you, though?”
“Hmm, well she wasn’t wearing her tiara like she did when you were in the hospital. And she never argued with you while you were in a coma. Oh! Her haircut is different! Her mane is half an inch longer in the back.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Pinkie, you’re so random. Twilight doesn’t even own a tiara.”
“Of course she does! The Element of Magic!” Pinkie came over and looked in my eyes. “You look fine to me. Come on, we’ve got a whole party to help you feel normal! Are you ready?”
Her element was shaped like a tiara, and I wondered how I forgot that. I decided to look into it later because a party might help me relax. “Yeah, just promise that when I wake up in the morning I’ll still be here. I don’t want anypony—especially Twilight—convincing you to let them take me home.”
Pinkie put an arm around my neck. “Of course! I promised to make sure absolutely nothing bad happens to you, but I bet this is all something silly. Maybe Twilight forgot to fill out the medical forms in triplicate.”
“You and me both,” I muttered.
I followed her downstairs into sugarcube corner. Sure enough, everypony was there. Even the fillies from Cheerilee’s class, along with most of their parents, had shown up. Of course, all my closest friends including members of the weather team were also there.
“Darling, you look—” Rarity eyed me from head to hoof. Her eyes lingered on my mane which I could feel knotted up. “Nice. Perhaps I could talk you into a visit to the spa?”
“Uh, maybe?” I gestured around to the party. “I’d like to talk to everypony and get a good night’s sleep first.”
“Well of course! Fluttershy had to cancel, but it’d be so much more fun with you! Be sure to stop by my boutique tomorrow.”
“Rarity.” I glanced around and saw Twilight on the far side of the room, out of hearing distance. “Did you notice anything odd about Twilight or me while I was in the hospital?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Aside from the fact she muscled in on the doctors and insisted she help in your treatment? Not to mention the fact she went longer than you did without a shower.” Rarity wrinkled up her nose as she recalled that particular odor. “No, not at all.”
I smiled and giggled softly. “Twilight said she cast some sort of spells on me to save me, and I found out earlier my medical record has been tampered with. Would you believe me if I told you Twilight’s up to something?”
She glanced at Twilight, and then turned back to face me. “Well, magic and surgeries have two things in common. They always leave some sign that they were used, and they’re perfectly explainable. Granted, I haven’t studied magical theory since I was in school. Did she say what she cast?”
“No, she said I wouldn’t understand.”
Rarity giggled. “I’d believe her, Dash. I don’t even understand half the things she says in regards to magic. Twilight is on a different level than the rest of us unicorns. The magic she uses is still the same, however, so your doctor would have noticed if she did anything fishy. ”
“Look at Sweetie,” I said. She was over with her classmates getting some punch. “If she got hurt crusading, and Twilight fixed her and didn’t tell a single pony how, then hid the medical record, would you take her word for it?”
She watched as her little sister pretended to sing into her cupcake, much to the amusement of the other ponies. “Yes. I’d trust Twilight. I would do anything in my power to save Sweetie’s life.”
I shook my head. “I guess that’s where we’re different. I expect more loyalty and honesty from my friends.” I walked off before she had time to reply to my snide remark.
I was getting thirsty and decided to go for a drink. Over by the fruit punch bowl I ran into Twilight. “Hello, Dash, feeling better?” she asked.
“Sure, why not.” I began gesturing at the two of us. “You’re here, I’m here, and neither one of us is being operated on against their will.” I grabbed the ladle to fill up a drink.
“When a pony will die without immediate life saving intervention, consent is implied.”
I put the ladle back down in the bowl. “Huh?”
“You said I’d operated on you against your will, but you were going to die. Therefore the law states I had to act.” Twilight smiled before pouring me a cup of fruit punch.
“And does the law say you’re allowed to hide how you did it? Look,” I took a sip of the fruit punch, “I don’t care what you did, I just want to know what it was. Until you respect my right to know, give me some space.”
Twilight put a hoof on my shoulder. “Look, I told you that I’d explain everything back at the library. I have the books there, even some diagrams even to help with the egghead stuff. Just come over and I’ll show you.”
The fruit punch had a ton of sugar in it. It was no wonder Berry Punch often came to Pinkie for help getting new recipes. As I drank the rest of my punch I wondered how neither of them had diabetes.
“No thanks. If it’s in books, bring them over here.” I gave her a half-hearted smile. “I’m still mad at you, you know.”
Twilight smiled and took my empty cup out of my hoof, refilling it for me. “Well, let me know when you change your mind tonight.”
“Hah, as if. I don’t take kindly to being lied to.”
I drank the rest of my fruit punch and threw the cup under the table. I downed the two nearest cupcakes, barely bothering to chew them. Despite the large amount of sugar now in my stomach, I still didn’t feel happy. Normally a little sugar rush was just the thing to get me smiling again. With my training regimen for the Wonderbolts, I don’t often get to eat so many sugary treats. Sometimes I think Pinkie has a bottomless pit for a stomach keeping her toned despite eating dozens of cupcakes daily.
Yawning, I headed over to talk to more of the guests. My sleepiness hit me like the ground must have after my stunt. I found myself laughing at the visual of me hitting the ground. Maybe I had fallen asleep during the stunt.
“What’s so funny, Dash?” Pinkie asked.
“I just remembered—in flight school—the war between Pegasi and the ground. The ground—remains undefeated!” I burst out laughing again, and Pinkie joined me. She slapped me on the back.
“I were joke!” Pinkie said.
I hit my head with my hoof. My ears were ringing and I couldn’t seem to hear what she was saying. I was only picking up bits and pieces. “Huh?”
Applejack walked over when she saw me hitting myself in the head. “Pinkie alright Dash? home?”
Finally I felt happy. It was a good night. All my friends were here. “I luv you guysss.”
“Get Twilight Nurse?” Pinkie asked.
Soon Twilight came over and I giggled, bopping her on the nose. “I got your um. . . the uh. . . teeth?”
“Take her to my can fix her library” Twilight offered.”
“But I hate books!”
“She scared doctors,” Pinkie said. She began to tug my hoof towards her room.
Twilight stepped in front of her and made a silly face. “No Dash to my can fix magic.”
“Silly filly! Stop spinning!” I said.
“Stop! Blacking out!”
I awoke to find myself in the dark. It was a familiar scene, yet it was different this time. I was not bound to a cold metal slab, and there were no voices. The sounds of horrific tools like bone saws, or the needles pricking my skin, were absent.
The darkness surrounded me, chilling me to the bone. I began to walk forward, looking for a wall. “Hello? Is anypony here?” I tried to take to the air and fly, but my wings weren’t working properly. The feeling of my legs were all I had to go on. My sense of balance and sight were absent within the void.
Something in the distance seemed to whisper my name, so I headed towards it. “Hello? Can you speak up? I can’t see you.” Each hoof made no sound as it made contact with the solid floor of this abyss. Faint whispers continued to echo, beckoning me to come closer.
The further into the darkness I walked, the heavier the air became. Soon I was pushing my way through thick syrup with each step. My bones began to ache from the cold, and the voice still wasn’t understandable. It was difficult to breath the thick air, and it clung to my fur like mud.
Stopping to catch my breath, I found myself nearly immobilized in the darkness. Finally I saw a bright light in front of me. My eyelids tried to shield my eyes, but they seemed stuck open.
The orb of light floated in front of me. The brightness of it hurt my eyes, yet it illuminated nothing. The void was just as bleak and dark, save for that single orb.
“There you are. You don’t belong here,” the voice said.
“Looks like non-adherence.”
“Where am I?” I asked.
“A long way from home. Get out,” the voice replied.
“I can’t,” I said. “I’m stuck.”
“Administer the corticosteroids”
A sharp pain shot up my leg. I looked down, but in the dark I couldn’t see it. “Ouch, what’s happening?”
“You don’t belong here,” the voice repeated with malice in it’s voice.
Something continued to wrap around my leg, tearing away at it. Soon I felt my other legs dissolving in the thick darkness. I struggled and screamed as the light in front of me pulsed. With each pulse, I would see thin tendrils for a fraction of a second. They were holding me in place, and picking me apart.
“Will that even work? We’ve never tried this before.”
“Please, stop! You’re hurting me! What’s going on?” I asked.
“This isn’t your home, you shouldn’t have come here,” it replied.
“Where is here?!” I screamed into the darkness as I felt my wings being consumed by the beast in the darkness. With nothing but the light in front of me to focus on, I was able to focus through the pain. I held onto the light, to my sense of self, as pieces of my body were torn away.
“How can the lab work show antibodies? Princess, what do we do?”
The darkness started to get thicker, heavier, as I felt something peeling the flesh from my bones. “I’m sorry! Please!”
My legs and wings could no longer flail desperately to help me get free. They had vanished, consumed by the void. I wiggled my neck, but the oppressive weight of the atmosphere held me still.
Finally my tormentor stepped out of the shadows. In the world of darkness, there was now only one thing visible: Rainbow Dash.
“It was never yours to take.” Her voice pierced me like a knife. “Now, you will die.”
I felt the tendrils piercing into my chest, and continued to howl in agony.
“Cardiogenic shock! Prep the paddles and get cardiology in here stat!”
“P-please. . . s-sorry,” I stuttered.
“Stand back, I’ll handle it from here.”
Dash began to smile, until her grin reached ear to ear. Her cheeks split open and bled as the smile continued to spread. As her smile widened, I felt my mouth torn apart by the void. Agony forced me to scream, but I no longer had a mouth.
A small spark of warmth surfaced inside of me, and I finally found the strength to fight this demon. The tendrils withdrew and the darkness stopped suffocating me. Slowly I felt pieces of myself returning, putting me back together.
“What?” the specter said.
A beam of purple energy shot through the void, lancing the image of Dash and vaporizing it. The darkness closed in around it, and the orb of light winked out.
I woke up with a large gasp of air, and took several more greedy breaths. My bed was drenched in sweat and I was chilled to the bone. The window was open, and the cool night air combined with my nightmare had left me feeling like I’d flown through a snowstorm.
No sooner than I had managed to calm my breathing, I rolled out of bed. Six feet later I landed on the ground, pain shooting through my legs and ribs. I shouted out in pain and tried standing, but decided it was too painful.
“Dash?” Pinkie called out. In an instant, there was a pony in pajamas with colorful ponies on it.
“What the?” I coughed, eliciting some pain from my ribs, before giving up on understanding my friend’s personality quirks.
“Oh no! You fell out of bed? Are you okay?”
I shook my head. No. The vivid nightmare was still at the forefront of my mind.
“Let me help you.” Pinkie gently lifted me up and laid me on the bottom bunk, where I’d be safer. “Did you have a nightmare? You’re all sweaty and cold.”
“Y-y-yes.” I was shivering from the cold. Pinkie saw this and quickly wrapped me up in her own warm blankets.
Pinkie began to run her hoof through my mane like I was a little filly. Surprisingly, I didn’t want to stop her. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. “Maybe we can laugh at it, together?”
“No.” It was a simple response. Just thinking about it made it real, and the horror had nearly been to much for me to handle. Twilight would probably use it as a reason to get me committed to a looney bin.
“Don’t worry, you must have been super tired. You passed out last night during your party.”
“But, how? Was that fruit punch or alcohol?”
“Dash, there were fillies there! Of course there was no alcohol in the punch.”
Looking up at Pinkie caused her to smile at me. “How’d I fall asleep? Did Twilight cast anything on me?”
“Nope. I did what I promised. I told her she couldn’t take you home, and that you were sleeping over with me tonight! You should have seen the look on her face.” Pinkie made her eyes go wide, dropped her jaw to make a large 'O', and went “Bleh!”
I laughed at the site of her Twilight impersonation.
“See? Better already. I’ll stay right here until you fall back asleep, okay? That’s what friends are for!”
Pinkie’s infectious happiness was getting to me, so I finally told her what I had seen. “My nightmare—Pinkie it was horrible—so painful. The doctors were there, and Dash was trying to kill me!”
She tilted her head to the side. “But you are Dash.”
in b4
themoderatevoice.com/wp-content/uploads//2010/07/jump_the_shark1.png
yeah...that's not dash. she wants her body back. it's a GHOST!
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I don't get it?
Anyway, another chapter. Glad this thing is updating regularly. I'm looking forward to some sort of resolution. I'm glad that Pinkie, at least, is helping Dash not get her memories erased or overwritten... again.
This is why you don't play with black magic kids.
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Silly filly, if Dash were a ghost she'd look like this:
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/086/a/c/rainbow_dash_ghost_by_lellcious-d4tuzcv.jpg
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Whew, that's a load of my mind. I was worried the chapter wouldn't carry the impact I wanted. Now I can go to bed reasonably assured that everyone will like the chapter :D
Well, Twilight's explanation was good, but I noticed something. She said "patients", not "patience"! Now all I need is knowledge of what she actually did to Rainbow Dash and I'll be able to convict Twilight, Ace Attorney-style.
In srs bsns mode, I think RD should've handled that initial confrontation with Twilight a little better. I've never been in her situation before so I don't know how panicked she was, but she was obviously aware of what she was saying and saying those things on purpose, so she should've known how to handle it in a way that wouldn't make her seem insane.
Was that a conjuration of a damaged mind, or something more real?
Heh
Hmmm... it's either Dash is crazy or it's a conspiracy... I'm happy with either one.
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Definitely something more real.
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You are definitely one of my favorite authors now. Your writings style, and how you put together a story are spell binding. Thanks for another great chapter and I eagerly await the next one.
But... I thought I was an editor...
I know what happened! SHE'S A ROBOT!
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Yay!
What can I say? I love crazy, and dark, and tragedy. But this has a sad tag so you're all safe.
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encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJXyODSMg1v9dcM3NEMxMtt4pzvGsn53NGIcKhU24brfP_AyUejg
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Either way, it was a ton of fun to write. It also reminds me of what the military keeps telling us: Never accept open drinks from anypony.
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Yeah, on the one hand if Dash handled it like a sane pony, the story would wrap up pretty quickly. I mean, clearly the reasonable thing is to
beat the truth out of herhave a logical discussion. Still, she was freaked out by the whole Book incident, and now the whole "thing" at the end of the chapter.... speaking of, I threw more fancy medical terms in there, so you know, hints :DBut, back to your actual question, I hope I struck a good balance of her wanting to get rid of her pent up frustration with Twilight, her fear, and the rational side of her. It's hard to tell sometimes.
Twilights a dick.
Also, I think that someone did something to Dashie at the party.
But Pinkie would not break her promises.
I'm confused. This is confusing.
...
And I'm tired xD
The plot thickens and the questions pile up...
I SHAT MYSELF.
Twilight would pop me, make a new clone, and start over.
That very well just might happen! If they were willing to play Frankenstein to make a replacement RD once, what's to stop them from doing so again? And again? And again?
Daring Do and the Invasion of the Body Snatchers is fiction.”
While it does sound like the typical 'five year old thinks movie is real' cliche, the doesn't change the FACTS RD has faced (her medical records being forged, mention of her dying, her finding tastes and preferences having changed, incomplete parts of her memory, her memories feeling like summary material rather than actual experiences).
She’s perfectly fine,” Twilight snapped back.
Liar.
! Thanks to my magic however, it was a minor one.”
At this point, I'd punch her in the face.
I’m just making clones and throwing them away?
'We need the Elements' any horror is possible to be committed by the selfish as long as the cause is high enough.
She looked me in the eye and smiled. “I can’t explain magic to a pegasus,
That's BS. And RACIST.
I did whatever it took to save you, because you’re my friend.
So what stranger did you put on the chopping block?
And that doesn't bloody explain why Twilight would have lied in the first place. It makes absolutely no sense. If it was no big deal, the records wouldn't have been altered in the first bloody place.
The nap had turned out to consist mostly of unanswered questions and Gummy’s odd fascination with my hooves.
At this point, anything could be a hint of nasty foreshadowing.
It makes me glad my pet is a turtle, or tortoise, or whatever he is; I always forget which.
Okay. Something IS wrong. No two ways about it.
“Yes. I’d trust Twilight. I would do anything in my power to save Sweetie’s life.”
I think you'd still want to know WHAT she had done.
WHEN THE BUCKING HELL ARE ANY OF THEM GOING TO REALIZE THAT THEY CAN'T JUST KEEP PUTTING THIS UNDER THE RUG AND PRETEND IT'S GOING TO BLOW OVER?!
And how much description have we had of RD's appearance in this story?
Great chapter man the suspense is really building here. Keep it up.
I say dash has gone crazy and is really in the mental nut house.
Oooh, this is getting really good!
I'm definitely feeling for Dashie. Poor girl
I'm really starting to think she's either going crazy, or Twilight gave her this artificial body or something
Well, can't wait for more! Glad its updating regularly
My current theory is that Rainbow Dash did actually die in the crash, but Twilight either couldn't handle losing her friend or was ordered by the princess(es) to save her because Equestria needs the element of Loyalty.
To me, the events we're seeing now are due to either Twilight's emotions messing up the spell, the procedure itself being faulty, or (my personal favorite) Rainbow Dash's previous 'soul' being still alive somewhere inside her mind, so there's one actual Dash and one 'shadow copy'.
Either way, I don't see this as being the Mane 6's fault or it being as devious/twisted as Rainbow Dash thinks it is.
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Join the club.
there is a pony I have yet to see mention or shown.
didn't know dash was diabetic. passing out over too much sugar sounds like a high blood sugar and all that sugar isn't good for dreams either too much sweets always leads to nightmares. can't wait to see what happens next I'm sure once she defeats dash she'll regain her memories and conquer her fear of the lightning
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Thats what's weird, SHE WASN'T DIABETIC
"We can’t afford to lose the Element of Loyalty, not with the current state of foreign affairs.”
Not "I can't lose a friend."
Yeah.
Also, saw that coming, no offense.
This goes deeper than just Twilight, it involves Celestia. Something was done to Dash to save her because Celestia knew that the elements would be needed, perhaps for a war - defensive? Invasive? Who knows.
Twilight did whatever needed to be done and the doctors kept quiet because they were ordered to/forced to by Celestia or Twilight. That's my theory.
Moar.
Man, that...nightmare? was creepy as hell.
Something tells me that Twilight was lying about Celestia being proud, after all, she has been lying to Dash about everything else so...
Just some small grammar goofs I noticed:
'a large O' would make more sense here.
You changed tenses all of a sudden. It should be
"I'd given her plenty of chances to tell me the truth. Now I was going to show her just how relapsed I was with a well-placed right hook."
Other than those, I couldn't find anything.
Also, THIS FIC IS AMAZING.
My old theory was that Rainbow Dash had fought a monster and was trying to Rain-Nuke it Lesson Zero style when she got struck by lightning. After that, Celestia drove the thing off but couldn't kill it. Twilight was just lying so that Rainbow wouldn't fly out there and try to beat it up again.
However, my theory has changed:
There was a changeling attack and Rainbow Dash was taken captive. However, a changeling was mortally wounded in the fight, and Twilight and the others are trying to make it think it's Rainbow Dash until they can exchange her for the real one.
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This is similar to what I was talking about in a comment on an earlier chapter.
I guessed that it's a dying dream, and the nightmares (and horrifying ordeals they inflict to her) are her mind "blinking" in and out of consciousness, creating weird distortions in her perception of reality. This most recent one especially had Jacob's Ladder written all over it!
Great story!
Uh..woah.. liking this so far!
I NEED MORE OF THIS, I LOVE THIS KIND OF STORY!!!!
I hate cliffhangers. Espassally yours
★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 7 star story for u good sir.
Ok now I'm convinced that Twilight is hiding something from Dash. She gives her some punch after saying “Well, let me know when you change your mind tonight.” and Dash mysteriously passes out moments later.
Or Not
Alright, now I'm fairly sure this is not real Twilight.
2773392
That's not why she did that.
You don't even need to say why real Twilight would do everything in her power, including whatever dark magic she knows, to save Rainbow Dash. It's too obvious.
If Rarity added "because I need her for [thing]" here you would be suspicious too.
While it could be a reason for Twilight to make a substitute, she wouldn't act this way afterwards. In fact, I can't come up with any situation in which Twilight would respond with such smug condescension to Rainbow's actions.
"We can’t afford to lose the Element of Loyalty"
I knew it! I knew it!! I so damn knew it!
Anyway, let's continue reading.
Woah, now i'm totally confused ... Nice Chapter!
Great chapter. Cant wait till the next one.
And now I don't know what to do. This chapter's quality was an IMMENSE improvement over Chapter 3. I thought I could take it apart again, but there barely were any flaws; neither story nor text wise. I could safely say that it was your best SP chapter so far.
One thing that did bother me a little though was that you apparently tried to insert a split here. Instead of a flashback from the show, you've used a nightmare. That's fine of course. But what stings like a thorn in my eyes is the damned chapter name. Everything starts with "My", and now suddenly something different. Technically it still has my in it, but it's not the same.
Unless, as I said, this was to mark a split and as thus was intentional. In that case, clever!
And now for my obligatory blabbering about mistakes and trivia:
First off, Dash is the most fucking stubborn thing I've ever seen. "Oh shit, Twilight wants to kill me, even though there's no reason to!". I hope you can somehow redirect the sympathy towards her again, as she does start to become a little bitchy with her constant PMSing. I'm starting to feel sorry for Twi, even though she probably is the feckin evil queen to the max. But Dash really goes overboard in my eyes.
"Pinkie, what time is it? fifteen more minutes?", uncapitalized fifteen.
Wasn't Twi's princess tiara something different from her element? Or does she wear it 24/7 like a boss since she has become one?
"...Fluttershy had to cancel, but It'd be so much more fun with you!", why is that It'd capitalized?
Sweetie Belle sings into cupcakes. She sings. Into a freaking cupcake. I know it was said towards the end the fruit punch was alcohol free, but I can't imagine anyone doing something like that without being wasted away to the max already. I mean, how does it even look like when you sing into a cupcake? Then again, fruit punch without alcohol isn't real fruit punch.
Horses can have diabetes? I don't even think they can get fat, otherwise Pinkie would be rolling instead of bouncing.
The white space of Dash overhearing some words looked like a formatting error on my E-Reader at first, but it became obvious what it was for after a few lines. Question: Did you pick random lengths for the spaces or were they intentionally so and so long?
If your intentions for that nightmare scene were to confuse the fuck out of your readers, big fucking applause. It felt so random, so unusually dark and strange. Why is Dash meeting herself and why does that Dash want kill the real one? The narrative was somewhat confusing and at first I actually thought you've slipped out of POV into third person again.
Overall, amazing plot builder and I can't wait for the first real revelation to come! And also props to your editor(s) for the amazing quality improvement!
2774945
I couldn't think of a way to start the chapter name with "My." Then, I realized I could say My Composure. Doh!
Well, why on Earth would I want to build up sympathy for Twilight and make Dash's friends think she actually is crazy? Surely it was a typo and not part of my plan to
rip your hearts outincrease the feels. And heck, Twi even tried to drug her in the middle of a party. I have a feeling she's the one PMS'ing.The sequence at the end was fun Soon it will make sense...
2774760
Me either.
2774644
Twilight thinks she's winning and convincing Dash she is crazy. The truth is, they're both nuts.
2774515
Or so.
Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Clearly, alicorn Twilight is worst pony.
2774477
Thanks. It needs to have about 20% more stars.
2774432
But I love cliffhangers!
2775113 In case the previous comment wasn't clear: if this is supposed to be actual Twilight, then she's pretty severely OOC in this story.
2775119
A princess is never out of character! Or is it, they're never late? I mix up the two...
Maybe it'll make sense after the next chapter. After all, what's in character when you're missing a few marbles?
2774299
Don't you mean you love the author of this kind of story? Call me.
2774298
What's not to like, aside from the fact that Dash is a spy!
2774112
Thanks
2774081
I like how you think.
2774034
Thanks for the grammar catches. I like the monster theory. Monsters are cool.
2774005
. Part of me wonders if Celestia even knows. Surely Dash's crash was in the news. . .
2773903
My theory is Discord is AWOL and they're not sure if he's going to come back and chaos it up, if he finds out Dash is injured.
2773784
Yeah, Twilight is always crazy, and that's canon. Now she doesn't even consider Dash a true true friend!
2775113
What the hell is that supposed to mean? You're playing tricks with my mind and I don't like it.
2775121 Well, when I wrote that I can't come up with a situation she might act like that, it included all the ways she might go crazy. Twilight is a neurotic type. I can't imagine the type of insanity that might make her act as calm and smug towards Rainbow.
Just wondering, but how do you research for your stories? Corticosteroids seem like they wouldn't be mentioned in a story because of how unheard of they are in the treatment of traumatic brain injury. I didn't expect a term like that to crop up, and needless to say, I went and Google'd it. Very cool.
2773513
There are lots that haven't been mentioned or shown. You're going to have to be more specific.
2773629
Dash isn't diabetic.
2773670
Dash took a rohypnol to the knee?
2773393 2773164
Now I feel bad for ruining your pants... unless you were reading in the bathroom at work, in which case, things worked out nicely.
2772907
I listed you in the credits as an editor, and you were super awesome on 2&3. On Ch 4 though I
blackmailedasked two people I know also haveno lifefree time to help me rush-deliver a chapter.(I spent the whole weekend stuck in a rut, then steam, itunes, and my ps3 all stopped working at the same time. It was brutal.)
2773392
Yeah, that's the thing about conspiracies. They're never as bad as you imagine, but that doesn't mean they're not there... silently waiting to lure you into their basement laboratory.
2773339
Or Twilight gave her an artificial body AND made her go crazy! Quick, Dash, cut your leg again and see if it bleeds quicksilver!
2773326
I thought of throwing her in a nut house, but I've done nut house fics before.
2773304
Yay! Someone saw how much hypocrisy was dripping from Twilight's words. Spot on, though sometimes a Gummy is just a Gummy. My cat loves licking my feet after they've been in boots for 10 hours... so I thought "I wonder if Gummy likes to gum hooves." It just sounded funny.
Also, even on the show Dash always mistook Tank for a turtle. I'd be more worried if she started calling her a tortoise.
2773143
Luckily (unlike my story Sanctuary) I'm keeping careful track, so that all the questions that pile up will all lead up to the same conclusion, thus leaving no loose ends.
2772925
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
I may revisit the void because it was just so much fun. I forgot how fun it is to
torturetorment ponies.2772964
I've always wanted to watch that series. In fact, I think I have it on my PC waiting to be watched.
2772973
Well, think about it: Pinkie Promised not to let anything bad happen, and to make sure no one tried to take Dash anywhere.
Dash passes out after a cup of fruit punch from Twilight *cough* and Pinkie Pie refused to let Twilight take her back to her library. Dash woke up safe and sound with Pinkie Pie after one heck of a doozey.
Does that help?
2775154
I work at a hospital, but when I need to research something I google it. Still, corticosteriods are a class of drugs. If I wanted to be mean I could have named a very specific one with a fancy sounding name. I figured it'd be easier for people to figure out what they're used for in broad terms.
Anyway, corticosteroids have two properties (and it ties in more to the "dream" then the TBI): anti-inflammatory, immuno-supressent.
But why would they want to supress her immune system?
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzltqoweQj1qilpw0o1_400.gif
Come on ponies, the clues are there this chapter. Sure, you might need a Nursing or Medical degree to find them.... but they're there!
2775145
I mean that I can't wait for the next chapter either. I know the author though, I think I can convince him to release it Friday.
2775153
Fair enough. I did go a bit overboard on the condescension. I've always found arguements never go as planned, one party always takes it personal, and soon it's mostly insults and posturing... Still, I'll keep a close eye on Twilight, and use a cattle prod if she goes out of character again.
2775182 Only pony I trust in this story so far is Pinkie. I don't think anyone could manage to get her to do anything dishonest to Dash...of course...it makes you wonder...just how BAD was it that Twilight managed to get Applejack to lie about it...THAT is a doozey for sure.