I had knocked on the door to the library and it had been answered by Spike. “Twilight, she’s here!” he had yelled.
“Thanks, Spike. What’d Twilight want?” I had asked.
“Oh, she’ll explain it in a second, Scootaloo,” Spike had replied. “Have a seat.”
He led me to a table that had cookies on it. I began helping myself to them and even drank some of the tea she had put out. I would have preferred some milk instead, but my Aunt didn’t always remember to feed me, so I ate whenever I could.
After a couple of minutes, Twilight trotted down the stairs and saw me licking chocolate chips off the plate.
“Scootaloo, I’m glad you came.” Twilight smiled and sat down across the table, refilling my cup and warming the tea with her magic.
“Yeah, I found your letter when I checked the mail. I uh—thanks for not knocking and coming inside.” I looked at my hooves and shook a few crumbs off them.
“It’s okay. I want to talk to you about Dash.”
I choked back a knot in my throat so that I wouldn’t cry. She’d been unconscious for weeks, and it had happened shortly after she promised to take me under her wing. “Yeah?” I asked.
“You’d do anything to help her, wouldn’t you?”
I looked up at her. “Of course I would! Why, is she getting better?”
“Sadly, no.” Twilight took a drink and then smiled. “I think I know how you can save her though, Scootaloo.”
“How? Tell me and I’ll do it!”
“She’s gone brain dead, Scootaloo. Do you know what that is?”
“Is it like my aunt?” I wondered if she was doing okay at home. I had left her sitting in front of the window.
“No, she has Alzheimer’s disease. Dash has no brain activity at all, and we can’t give her a new brain. However, there is something else I can do.”
“What?”
“I can use magic to transfer you into Dash, you’ll save your hero and everypony will love you!”
I gasped and felt conflicted. I had often wished to be Rainbow Dash for a day, but did I really want to take her body? “It’ll save her?”
“Yes, I can restore her memories to you. You’ll get to live happily as Dash, the elements of harmony will be protected, and I promise to take care of your Aunt.”
“I can take care of her myself, as Dash.” I began to fidget my hooves wondering if it was going to hurt.
“No, Scootaloo, you’ll have to make everypony think you’re Dash. It’s the only way this will work, but your Aunt will be transferred to a retirement home in Cloudsdale. You won’t see her again, but she’ll live her last years happily.”
“What about me? Does that mean I die?”
“No, you’ll be inside Dash.”
“I mean my body,” I replied.
“I don’t know. You’ll be Dash. It’s possible your body will go into a coma or die, but I’ll take care of you.”
I yawned and stretched out my small wings. “She would do it for me, so I’ll do it for her. Okay, Twilight, I’ll do it.”
Twilight smiled and gestured over to her couch. “Why don’t you take a nap, you must be feeling tired.”
“Will your magic hurt?” I asked.
“No, when you wake up you’ll be Dash, and your Aunt will be taken care of.”
I walked over to the couch, already feeling very tired. She helped me onto it, and I quickly passed out.
“That’s the truth, Dash!” Twilight pleaded.
I could still hear the girls shouting, and Applejack was trying to pull me off Twilight with Rarity’s help. I had her pinned to the ground by her mane, with a hoof on each side of her neck. My body weight had her pinned down, and though she could have used her magic to throw me off she hadn’t.
“You’d say anything to get out of this after all the lies you told me! If I were Scootaloo, I think I’d remember that!” I yelled in her face.
“Sugar cube, come on an’ let go!” Applejack said. She changed her tactic from pulling my tail to twisting a wing.
“Stop it!” I shouted, slapping her hoof away. “She had no right to do this!” I stomped my hoof, narrowly missing her face.
“P-please, Dash. I thought it would work!”
I looked back down at Twilight, and no longer saw the cocky mare I thought was trying to ruin my life. She had dried blood on her cheek from when I struck her, and at some point during her story had begun crying. Her forelegs were shaking against me while I loomed over her with an angry grimace on my face.
Beating my wings, I launched myself up into the air above the girls. Fluttershy managed to be the first one to reach Twilight, curling the crying mare up in her wings. Pinkie and Rarity walked up to comfort her, and I landed next to the kitchen.
Walking in, I took a look around until I found something solid. The nearby wall looked suitable, and I took my anger out by bucking it a few times.
“Are ya okay sugar cube?” Applejack asked.
“How the hell am I supposed to know that?” I asked. “I’m not even me, apparently she put Squirt in me but I’d never have let her do that if I knew!”
She walked and smiled. “Come on, sit down.” She waited for me to sit down next to the wall, and then sat on my other side. “Now what do ya mean ‘if I knew’? She said ya volunteered.”
“Scootaloo volunteered, but I’m not her. All I can remember is being Dash, except for the last couple weeks when it all messed up. And I—Dash would never have asked Scootaloo to do this!”
I flinched when Applejack began to rub between my wings. Having the tension relieved by her rubbing felt good and calmed me down a little, despite my initial impulse to lash out at her.
“What she did was wrong, a filly shouldn’t make that kind o’ decision. That’s almost manipulation, but what can we do ‘bout that now?” she asked.
“I don’t know. What would Dash do?” I sighed, and then moaned as she pushed her hoof down into a particularly sore muscle.
“Dash was loyal, and ah reckon ya know now how often we fought, but she was the best friend ah ever had.”
We sat there for a while as I pondered my options. I decided the only thing Dash would do was protect Scootaloo. Since I was Scootaloo, then that must mean I want to protect myself and make Twilight restore me to my old body. To do that, however, would be to voluntarily kill Dash.
“I think she should reverse whatever she did.”
“Ah reckon that’s what Dash would have wanted. She wouldn’t have asked Scootaloo to die for her,” Applejack said.
“She said it might have left her in a coma, I think it’s time to find out.”
I got up and walked back into the main room of the library. Twilight was looking better now, and Rarity was still running a comb through her mane. Fluttershy was giggling quietly with her at some joke they had shared.
“Twilight,” I said. The ponies stopped giggling and looked at me with somber expressions. “What happened to Scootaloo after the surgery?”
Twilight took a deep breath and exhaled. “She survived, but she was brain dead. I had to transfer her to a hospital to take care of her, but she’ll never recover.”
“Because she’s in me, so I want you to put her back.”
Twilight stood up and shook her head. “No, you can’t! Not only could it kill you, but what if Chrysalis comes back? Do you think Discord will stay reformed when your element is gone?”
Fluttershy let out a small gasp in shock. I saw her open her mouth to correct Twilight, then close it, wisely choosing to stay out of the argument.
“That’s not your choice to make, it’s mine. You did a good job turning me into Dash, so I know she would never have let you sacrifice Scootaloo for her.”
“I won’t do it, Dash! I can’t lose you again. It was so hard, so tiring trying to keep you happy! You deserved to get on the Wonderbolts, to have a family, a good life. Nopony should have to die so young!”
“And didn’t Scootaloo deserve the same things?” I asked.
“Sure, not like you cared! Leaving her alone to crusade and go home every night to her invalid Aunt! I wanted to make her life better, and it saved you at the same time!” Twilight looked directly at me and furrowed her brow. “I’m not putting you back!”
“Damn it!” I stomped my hooves on the ground loudly. “You may have saved Dash but you’ve ruined our friendship! I’m outta here.”
I turned around, threw the door to the library open, and flew off. I was beginning to cry and didn’t want them to see it. After flying off I scanned the skies until I found my house and flew back. Before long I landed and went in, collapsing on my couch.
I hadn’t felt this insecure since the Best Young Flier’s contest. Yet that memory wasn’t really mine. I remember each number I switched, and how I had saved Rarity and the Wonderbolts. The feelings and memories seemed real enough, but now that I knew they weren’t, they felt hollow.
I could see the sun setting when I heard the whooshing sound of hooves walking into the house. I looked up and saw Fluttershy and Thunderlane walk in to check on me. “Go away,” I said.
“We’re worried about you, and I told the girls it probably wasn’t a good time to bring the hot air balloon up,” Fluttershy explained.
“She ran into me on her way to ask the weather team to come check on you, and told us everything,” Thunderlane said. “I’m sorry for being angry at you, and we wanted you to know you can take as much time off as you need.”
“Thanks, but I’m fine. Just go.” I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes, hoping it would somehow hide how pathetic I must look.
I felt the familiar touch of Fluttershy’s wings as she climbed onto the couch next to me. Usually I had to comfort her, but on occasion I would let myself be vulnerable around her.
She lifted my head onto her lap and draped a wing over me, and began rubbing my back. I sat there letting her comfort me until I could finally ask the question I feared the most. “Why are you my friend? I’m not Dash, I’m a fake.”
Fluttershy stopped stroking my mane. “I like you for who you are now. It wouldn’t matter who you were or who you are, you’re a wonderful pegasus, Dash. It hurt so much to lose you the first time. The only pony at your bedside more than me was Twilight. I can’t tell you how happy we were when you recovered. It made us very happy, but the most important thing is: are you happy?”
I thought about the question. Aside from the constant fears that I was a changeling or doppelganger or even a zombie, I had been happy. My friends all loved me, and I loved them. Ponies looked up to me, and I had everything a mare could ever want. A part of me knew there was more I didn’t know.
What had Scootaloo been like? Was she happy? What was her Aunt like?
“I am happy, but I can’t remember if Scootaloo was. What if she was happy and I took that from her?”
“Maybe she can give you some of Scootaloo’s memories? She could prove she’s telling the truth, and then you can decide if you still want to switch back,” Fluttershy said.
I glanced up and saw Thunderlane still watching like a typical stallion. He was a tad awkward, but stuck around in his desire to comfort me.
“What about you, Thunderlane? You asked me out to dinner, and now you know I’m just a fraud,” I asked.
He shifted hooves and glanced around. “Yeah well. . .” Thunderlane took a deep breath. “I always had a crush on you, but I noticed something different after your accident. You were more optimistic, less reckless. You lost a little of that macho attitude and started hanging out with the weather team more. We used to see you run off with your friends all the time, but never with us.”
Thunderlane inched himself over to the couch and sat down. “I like you for who you became, and as much as I’d miss you, the whole weather team will support your choice.”
I yawned and nuzzled against Fluttershy. “Thanks, both of you, but I’m really tired. Fluttershy, will you stay until I fall asleep?”
“Of course I will,” Fluttershy said.
“I’ll go now, and if you ever want me to cook you dinner, you know where to find me. Just promise to get better soon. We’ll all miss you,” Thunderlane said.
I heard him flap his wings and vanish from the front porch.
As I lay there with my head in Fluttershy’s lap, I felt a strange sensation. A part of me felt the déjà vu of being put to bed by Fluttershy, safe with my friends.
“Can you sing me ‘Hush Now, Quiet Now’?” I asked.
She glanced down and smiled, “Of course.”
I closed my eyes and fell asleep before she’d finished singing the first verse.