• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 28th, 2020

Kaidan


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.

E

Scootaloo overhears Twilight talking about a time travel machine. She breaks into the library and travels back in time to meet her hero, Rainbow Dash, as a filly. It would have been the perfect plan if Dash had been anything like she expected.

Story prompt/Requested by: TheDarkPrep
Edited by: Selbi, Abcron
Part of my one-shot week.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 168 )

Awwwww. That was cute.

Seems he IS capable of all range of story style.

I like it!

~Skeeter The Lurker

You use flyer and flier, just wanting to point that out.

“Hey, Rainbow Crash! What did I tell you about messing up my obstacle course?” Twisted said. He flared his wings and grimaced.
“I’m s-s-sorry, Twister! It w-won’t happen a-again!” Dash whimpered.

Twister or Twisted?

It was mediocre, but hey. Quantity over quality in this case. With how often you are spewing these out, good job :twilightsmile:

Besides, it's probably better than what I can do =P

Wow... an innocent, cute slice-of-life that flows nicely with the canon? :twilightsmile:

Who the hell are you and what've you done with K? :twilightangry2:

Welp, this was nice. :pinkiesmile:

Not a dark story? What blasphemy is this?:rainbowhuh:

What no filly rape? Just kidding. This was a very refreshing short story. Thanks kaidan

2901310
I do occassionaly write something other than dark/tragedy or mature/sex/gore. I just needed a week to remind myself why I started writing fiction in the first place.

Hint.
:scootangel::heart::rainbowdetermined2:

2901287
:rainbowlaugh:
I can write not-dark, but dark tastes about... 20% better than milk chocolate.

2901239
I don't know, but it keeps me up at night.

2901253
Direct all hate mail to Abcron and Selbi, my editors. They assured me not a single error would get through. Now, I'm going to drag them off to my glue factory.

2901266
Don't worry, the paradox Scootaloo created will destroy all of Equestria slowly and with agonizing pain.

2901284
Thanks! :scootangel:

I'm sorry, but the story just wasn't engaging for me. everything that wasn't dialogue didn't flow quite right, or wasn't conveyed in an interesting manner. The characters were super flat. The opening events feel so stiff and awkward and out of the blue. The ending feels contrived, and I didn't care for the racing scenes. All in all, it feels like this fic races to get to plot point A, and then drags it feet until plot point B is in sight, and it sprints to the next destination. rinse and repeat.

your story flows like this:

1. Scootaloo time travels to see filly dash because That'd be so cool amirite?
2. OHNOES Dash is unconfident so Scootaloo totally comforts her.
3. RACING TO DEFEAT TEH BULLIEZ
4. CTRL + C , CTRL + V cutie mark chronicles
5. Dash knew Scootaloo all along! Oh hey, a cutie mark. FIN

There is some text in between these steps, but they only serve to transition to the next step. There's no meaningful character exploration, interesting conflict, unique and memorable prose, or any real world building. Time travel happens, Scootaloo meets sad Dash, and then somehow ends up with a cutie mark.

2901424
And I'm okay with that. :rainbowlaugh:
18 stories in five days and one or two are bound to 'be flat'

2901228 Good grief man, You're EVERYWHERE! :unsuresweetie:

2901446

Well...

I'm here.
I'm there.
I'm everywhere!

~Skeeter The Lurker

2901407 Paradox and sex? Where Scootaloo meets five different versions of RD, at least two of which are male, who then continue to rape Scoots to return the timeline back it's proper place?

Wait what? Damn you chicken or the egg logic!

2901402

as good a reason as any to write a story about your favorite ponies

2901461 HALP. It's another Regidar!

I like the way how you basically made Scootaloo into Dash´s role model

2901461
Oh yeah? I'm there, there, there, there, here, and even there....
The hell did I just do?:derpytongue2:

Whats coming up next, Kaidan? Its labeled incomplete.

Btw, nice! Maybe yoo should do more of these, most of your tragedies hurt me all over XD Inside...

2902376
Hehe.... Look at the squirrel!

It was meant to be complete (it's a one shot) and was meant to be a little feel-good fic about filly Dash for a friend.

if you want a happy slice of life, I just launched a Dash Slice of Life "My Life as a Wonderbolt" about living in Cloudsdale and being on the Wonderbolts, but her desire to keep in touch with Scootaloo and the Mane six back in Ponyville/Canterlot. There's also Scootaloo the Fugitive for your happy fix.

2902064
So, was Dash Scootaloo's role model, or was Scootaloo Dash's role model? Who was the role model first? Why does my head hurt! :twilightoops:

2901446 He has over 900 favorites. :moustache:

2901461 You defeat the purpose of being a lurker :derpytongue2:

ive seen enough time travel movies to know where this is going

After working her way down the convienently labeled, filly friendly control panel, she saw a giant red button that said ‘Do not press!’ Clearly, that was the activation button.

gifs.gifbin.com/g600107907.gif my life in a nutshell

2902499
because timey-wimey stuff

2903052

Look again. 1000 now.

2903328

Meh. I still like the title.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Cute story. :scootangel:

Small consistency error at the end, though. Change "broke one of Twilight's experiments" to "broke Twilight's Time Machine", otherwise how's RD supposed to know she's a timetraveler? That or leave it at her thinking it was an odd coincidence they shared the same name and leave it there. :moustache:

Small gripe though, still fun story. :rainbowdetermined2:

2905300 Ooh, how many do I have? :pinkiehappy:

2905845

You have only 112. Get to work if you wanna catch up to me.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Comment posted by Swirls deleted Jul 20th, 2013

2905854 Now how many?

2905866

... Did you READ them?

You've 126 now, but that means jackshit unless you read them all.

All of mine? I read them. More than once, even.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2905871 Yes, and they're all and they're all just sitting in my tabs.

2905877

Still have a ways to go.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This should be canon. Scootaloo going into the past to meet Rainbow Dash, learning that even her idol was once insecure, and not only learning that she's the reason Rainbow Dash is who she is, but also earning her Cutie Mark as a result.

2901239 :applejackunsure: I don't know... but I'll ponder that for a while...

Amazing I really enjoyed it. I wish I could press the like button more then once, Great job.

Did anyone else notice this:

-Scootaloo helped all of the Mane 6 get their cutiemarks
-Scootaloo got her cutiemark on the same day Rainbow did
-If it weren't for Scootaloo- PARADOX!

2901239

Scootaloo. The correct question/paradox is- What came first- Rainbow or the paradox?

2905300 I wonder.. have you ever spelled your own username wrong at the end of a comment? :rainbowhuh:

2907096

Nope. Not once.

(Knock on wood)

~Skeeter The Lurker

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