As I regained consciousness, I felt like my body hadn’t slept in weeks. The drowsiness was almost overwhelming. It was like that moment when the alarm goes off and you ought to wake up, but it is just so cozy in your bed that you refuse to.
Opening one eye to avoid hide the fact I was awake revealed a blurry mess of brown. After blinking a few times, a grimy looking basement began to swim into view. Sitting at a nearby table was Twilight, and a flood of memories came back to me. I had been worried Pinkie was crazy, but this pony had taken the cake. Dash had been trying to explain our predicament when she flew off the deep end and kidnapped us.
A sore bump on my neck reminded me that my earlier panic caused her to knock us out. Twilight was engrossed in her book and jotting notes, so I inched towards the edge of the bed to sneak out of the room. The old springs in the mattress and metal frame conspired against me, creaking loudly.
Twilight turned, and I closed my eye, freezing in place. Nothing to see here, I’m still asleep. I awaited the sound of her jotting down more notes. Minutes passed before I finally inched an eyelid open. Sure enough, she was busy at her desk, so I began my escape in earnest.
Reaching the end of the bed I realized it’d likely make more noise if I didn’t ease myself off it. I put one leg over to touch the ground when the frame squealed like a stuck pig. Profanities floated around my mind as I went limp and pretended I had rolled over. My leg was now dangling over the edge, and twitched slightly. I hated sleeping with an arm over the edge of a bed. It was like some monster would grab my hoof and pull me underneath the mattress.
[So childish, no. . . no monsters.]
At least Dash seemed to be okay, though apparently also loopy from the drugs. After a few minutes the scribbling resumed. I took a slow, deep breath and then opened my eyes.
Inches in front of me stood Twilight, smiling and staring right at me. She had tricked me with the sound of her quill and paper. I pushed back against the mattress and slid up against the wall. I felt my back thud against it but my head continued moving as the room spun. It took all my effort to choke back my nausea and not vomit.
“Oh good, Dash, you’re awake! I was really worried. There’s something inside you and I can’t figure out what it is, and it was making you act out of control!” Twilight explained.
“Some—something?! I’m a human, dammit! You could have fucking asked!” I yelled. The sudden exertion caused me to double over on the bed. Twilight seemed to be expecting this and levitated a trash can in front of me. With all the grace I could, I let the contents of my stomach—which was about 80% cupcake—explode into the trash can.
Dash chuckled a little in my mind and moaned. [It’s funny but it hurts.]
“So you’re not Dash. Am I talking to the entity?”
“Human! And my name is Don.” I wiped my muzzle and hoped to never repeat the fun sensation of vomiting as an equine. “Quit calling me ‘the thing’ or—” My tirade was halted as I fought back another wave of nausea.
“Okay, Don. I’m sorry I had to sedate you, but I couldn’t risk you hurting my friend,” she said.
“For starters, what the hell did you inject me with and how much? And who in their right fucking mind jams needles in someone’s neck?! Those shots are meant to be given in a muscle, like one of my thighs!” I explained. “You could have killed me! Given me an air embolism or caused a clot that would lead to a stroke, or hell, just hit my spine and paralyzed me!”
Twilight’s eyes went wide and her mouth flopped around for a moment while she regained composure. “You know about medicine? It was just a little sodium thiopental. I thought the neck would be—”
“Yeah, well, you thought wrong.” I shook my head vigorously, trying to clear the cobwebs out of it. This caused another wave of nausea but at least I felt a little more alert. “Seriously, Dash told me you had a tendency to screw things up and magically fix them, but this? You have a fully stocked underground medical laboratory full of dangerous drugs you don’t know how to properly use?!”
“It wasn’t for this. Please, I had no idea what to do! Pinkie Pie was freaking out, and then you had something—I mean, Dash had something show up inside her. You could have been a changeling surprise attack, or Sombra, or Discord!”
I slid back to the wall and sat up, using it to steady me. “Ugh, well I’m not. So, can we move on to fixing this whole mess?”
Twilight’s eyes lit up and she smiled. “Of course! I’ve been studying several books and taking notes, trying to figure this out.”
“How long was I asleep?” I asked.
“Oh, ten minutes, but I had plenty of time to cross-reference my library and find out I know absolutely nothing about what’s going on with you!” Twilight smiled and resumed taking notes.
Dash, all of your friends are crazy. Well, I guess Fluttershy was alright, but the rest of them? Nut jobs.
[You’re right. Why is she so happy? She just said she has no idea how to fix this.]
“Yeah, Twilight, why are you happy if you don’t know what’s going on?” I asked.
“Because I’ll get to learn all about you and figure out how to fix it! I haven’t gotten to work on such a fascinating project since my three hundred page dissertation to Celestia on my combined studies on the magic of friendship.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. “I’m going to ignore that entire last sentence. Anyone who needs to write a three hundred page paper on friendship is doing it wrong.”
[Hey, ask her if she can help with any other stuff, like our memories.]
“I’ve already deduced several things, and made a hypothesis,” she explained.
“Great, I can’t wait to hear what the kidnapping evil genius with a basement full of BDSM toys has to say.”
Twilight began to blush furiously and looked away. I could hear Dash inside me laughing loudly. Apparently there was some inside joke between the two of them. I refused to believe the alternative: that this was, in fact, Twilight’s sex dungeon.
No! Bad thoughts! Twilight does not own a sex dung—gah! Stop thinking that!
[Haha, why? You kept saying she needs to get laid. Maybe she’ll tie you back up and let you pleasure her!]
Not helping!
“I. . . um. . . can we talk about something else?”
With a soft chuckle I got out of bed and moved in for the kill. Between Dash’s knowledge of her and what I’d observed, she was going to be an easy mark to mess with.
I tapped Twilight on the shoulder, waiting for her to turn and face me. I smiled widely. “Why. So. Serious?” I continued grinning and inching towards her face.
Twilight’s ears flattened against her head and her eyes went wide. Before she did something rash—like magic me into a pile of ash—I stopped advancing on her and fell to the ground laughing.
I think I heard her giggle too, though it was likely out of nervousness. It felt good to relax and laughed a bit. After a few minutes of it I felt renewed. Finally I stopped and heard Twilight taking notes again. “So, what are you taking notes on now?”
“Oh, your behavior. I’m compiling a thorough research paper on my findings of two entities inhabiting one body. Also, if what you say is true, this is first contact with a new species known as humans. Are they all as. . . unstable as you?” Twilight asked.
“Hah, yeah, ask the crazy alien if he’s crazy. Let’s go with ‘no, I’m not crazy, I’m just twenty percent cooler!’” I smiled and tilted my head to the side, trying to recall where I’ve heard that phrase before.
[You’re in my memories again.]
Oh, right.
“Hey, Don, all joking aside, okay? I’m concerned that Dash is in grave danger. Is she okay in there?” Twilight asked.
I got up and went back to the bed to take a seat. “Yeah, she’s watching and can hear and feel everything while I’m in control. She says you have well-toned flanks and very cute cheeks when you blush.” I waited a second for her to hide her face behind a notebook as her cheeks turned crimson. “Yeah, just like that!”
[Dude, stop it! We need her help! Can you please not be an ass for five minutes?!]
Sorry, force of habit. I mean, this whole thing is so absurd I just—seriously? How could this mess have a happy ending? I’m stuck in an alien body, God knows where, and that’s the only coping mechanism I have left.
[Look, she’ll help us. If you want to be an ass, there’s this pony who is always sending the weather team complaints. I’ll teach you how to control weather. We can go flood his garden and kill his flowers later, okay?]
Hmm. . . that seems fair. A little good behavior and we get to go laugh at some stuck up pony.
“Dash? I mean, Don? Hello?” Twilight asked. “You seem to have zoned out.”
“Huh? Oh, I was just talking with Dash.”
“Could you explain how you got here? Or just any other useful information?”
The first reply I could think of was a song I had stuck in my head. I started to sing without realizing it. “Yesterday, all my troubl—”
“Stop!” shouted Pinkie Pie. She crawled out from under a nearby desk and jammed her hoof into my mouth.
What the hell?!
I spat her hoof out. “Pinkie, why did you stop me from singing? And why did I feel so compelled to sing in the first place?”
Pinkie smiled and spun one of Twilight’s chalkboards around and began drawing me a diagram. “That’s easy! Celestia doesn’t want anypony sued by the RIAA for copyright infringement. The illegal use of copyrighted song lyrics, phrases, titles, names, ideas, or intellectual property would put us all on the fast track to getting sued!”
This isn’t possible. This isn’t physically possible!
She had finished drawing a complete set of sheet music and lyrics on the chalkboard. “That’s why Celestia has decreed we have to make up our own songs, or use those in the public domain!”
[Let it go, Don.]
No, not this time. I have to ask.
[Oh god, no!]
“How the hell do you even know what the RIAA is? It’s an Earth agency, Celestia knows how far away it is. Maybe it’s in another dimension! And you think somehow they’re going to reach through the vast void separating me from my home to sue you, a magical talking pony, for copyright infringement!”
“Exactly! The suit against Lyra for making a fan song about a fan fiction she read based on a children’s novel settled for forty thousand bits! It’s way more trouble than it’s worth.” Pinkie handed me a glass of water. “It’s an easy mistake to make, and you’re new. Take a drink and then we’ll sing this suitably depressing song from the public domain.”
I took a sip of the water, weighing my options.
It hurts, Dash. I’m literally in pain trying to figure her out.
[Because Pinkie Pie, Dude. You’ll hurt yourself. Rumor has it that it wasn’t the thanksgiving quadruple-chocolate-sundae that gave Mr. Cake a heart attack. It was him trying to figure out how Pinkie swallowed her own sundae in one bite!]
I just—I can’t even. . .
[Well, you’re stuck singing now. It’s in our DNA or something. Once you start to sing, you’ve got to scratch that itch.]
Are we talking about sex or singing? There’s no way I’m gonna sing some lame song.
I felt an itching in the back of my mind, and notes playing in my ears. Words began to form on my tongue, begging for release.
“Ready for your solo, Don?” Pinkie asked.
“Nope!” I bit my lip as a song I’d only heard once, long ago and in passing, lodged itself firmly in my head. It became all I could think about. I wanted—no, I needed to sing it.
This is it. This is what going crazy feels like.
[Loosen up for once.]
I looked to Twilight for help. She had put ear plugs in, and shrugged. “You started this, you’re on your own.” Her gaze drifted back to a journal she was taking notes in.
“Come on, like this: I’m so unhappy, what’ll I do?”
I sighed in defeat as I sang, relieving the itching in my mind with Dash’s slightly-tomboyish voice. “I long for somebody who will sympathize with me.”
“Pick me!” Pinkie shouted.
“I’m growing so tired of living alone, I lie awake all night and cry. Nobody loves me, that’s why.”
“Pinkie loves you!” She jumped on me and hugged me, making it difficult to complete the rest of the short song.
“. . . all by myself,” I finished. I felt a great burden lifted from me. I actually felt happy.
Dash broke the silence, doing what I can only assume was a golf clap.
Are. . . are you mocking me, Dash?
[Bravo! You’re lucky the whole town didn’t join in on that song.]
You’re joking, right?
[I wish, Dude, I wish. Heck, I felt compelled to sing while Fluttershy’s animals had me tied up in a large pot. They were going to cook me, which is funny because most of them were herbivores.]
“Not bad for your first song.” Pinkie cheered for me and clapped her hooves. “Not entirely fitting, but you have a lovely voice!”
“I quit, this is all too absurd! Twilight, magic Dash back into control of her body. I need a few hours to process all this insanity,” I said.
“I can’t, Don. I don’t know how,” Twilight explained.
Pinkie frowned and gave me a hug. “Oh, Don, this whole time you were stuck inside that grumpy pants Dash and she wouldn’t let you come to my party? It must have been horrible! I knew the new pony would want to be my friend!”
“Yeah, Pinkie, that’s what happened. I totally wanted to come to your party and tell you the truth but Dash said I need to play it safe,” I answered.
[Again with the lies?]
She’s fucking crazy! I’m never messing with her again, and if a little white lie convinces her I wasn’t deliberately antagonizing her at her party, then a lie it is. She strikes me as the kind of mare who hides dead bodies in her attic while smiling all day like nothing is wrong.
[You really need to lighten up. Is Earth that horrible? I mean, we’re not all sunshine and rainbows in Equestria but you are acting like you’ve never been happy before.]
“Twilight, why is he staring at the wall?” Pinkie asked.
I suppose that’s not too far from the truth, but that’s neither here nor there.
[Look, we live good lives and have a good time, and when we’re not being body snatched, we even get to love each other. We definitely aren’t hiding bodies in any attics. If you’d just chill out you could relax and wait for Twilight to fix this.]
“Oh, Don’s talking to Dash,” Twilight explained. “I’m trying to get them to explain any useful info about their situation.”
Relax? Okay, if you take us back over to Fluttershy’s for a massage I’ll relax. I want to be as far away from trebuchets, Pinkie, and Twilight as possible.
“It looks like they’re bickering,” Pinkie observed.
[Just give Twilight something useful and I’ll massage you myself! For Celestia’s sake, we finally got her attention to help us.]
Twilight scribbled a quick note. “I wonder what they’re talking about.”
You’re right. I’m going to focus on ignoring how wrong the laws of your universe are, and I’m going to focus on getting Twilight to magically fix this like you claim she always does.
“They probably expect you to magically fix everything like you always do,” Pinkie replied.
“She already said she doesn’t know how yet, Pinkie,” I said. “Okay, so back to the start then and I’ll explain what’s happened?”
Pinkie pulled out a lawn chair, some popcorn, and sat in the corner. “Oh, this gonna be good!”
She’s gonna kill me. She’s literally going to give us both a heart attack or an aneurysm.
[Calm down, just don’t sweat the small stuff.]
Small stuff? She pulled a freaking lawn chair out of her mane! A lawn chair!
[Oh, and singing songs from the roaring twenties on Earth didn’t phase you, it was the lawn chair?]
Don’t antagonize me!
“Don?” Twilight asked. “Don!” She used her magic to make a loud popping noise, which got my attention. “Are you alright? You keep hyperventilating and you look a little panicked.”
“It’s just. . . Pinkie, could you be a little less random and maybe stop pulling stuff out of your mane? It’s kind of disturbing,” I said. “Well, more than kind of, it freaks me the hell out.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” She sat still and smiled at me like a kid pretending to be on their best behavior.
“Alright, Twilight, so here is what happened. I was at home and the power went out, but my T.V. was still on, and it was raining outside. Then, I felt something hit me and I woke up in Dash, with Soarin about to kiss me. So, naturally, I punched him in the face and sent him flying.”
“Fascinating,” Twilight said. She was scribbling notes onto a piece of parchment. “Continue.”
Is she taking notes on our right hook?
[She could take notes on watching grass grow. Let’s just get through this, okay?]
“Anyway, I sort of fell out of Dash’s house, Soarin saved me and I told him to leave. Dash helped me find my way to Fluttershy’s, we cuddled and stuff—her fur is really soft—but she wouldn’t let me sleep because I hit my head.”
“When did you hit your head?” Twilight asked.
[Way to go, Twilight. He admits to spooning with our friend and you’re more concerned with your science.]
“I thought this was a dream so I smacked my head on a tree. It’s funny, though, when the crusaders shot me with a trebuchet it caused me and Dash to switch places. The same thing happened when Scootaloo hit us.”
Twilight took a few more notes. “Interesting. So, have you tested the hypothesis that blunt force trauma causes you to switch places?”
“Not yet. I was going to jump off the top of town hall and land on my head to confirm my theory, but I wanted to go to the party first,” I said.
“Well, town hall probably isn’t tall enough. You might want to get a flying start,” Twilight said.
Wow, not the sharpest tool in the shed.
[She’s an egghead, everything she knows she learns in books. Apparently there’s no book on sarcasm.]
“Anyway. . . we just keep switching back and forth randomly. We can’t control it and given the serious risk of injury, I’m in no hurry to see if concussions trigger a swap.”
“Fair enough.”
“Also, I’m worried about how easy it is to read her memories. At first I had to make an effort to read them, but now it’s like I know things she hasn’t thought yet. She even knows stuff about Earth I wasn’t thinking about.”
“That would support one of the theories I have.”
[What theory is that?] I realized I couldn’t speak out loud. [Seriously? Now?]
“Awww yeah!” Dash shouted. She threw a hoof in the air and began to hover above the bed. “It’s about time!”
“Dashie!” Pinkie jumped up and gave her a hug. Somehow Dash was able to continue flying despite the added weight.
“Pinkie? Dash?” Twilight stood there with a confused look on her face. “I thought we were talking to Don.” Pinkie dropped to the ground and took a seat in her chair.
[I was actually taking things seriously for a change. Well, I guess now I can ponder whether or not I’ve finally gone insane in peace and quiet.]
Watch, Dude, I’ve totally got this.
“Okay, so Twilight, he just woke up in me and keeps taking control. He’s sort of a jerk and sometimes it’s funny, but usually it isn’t. I need you to get him out, but you can’t kill him or anything. He wants to like, go home, or maybe you can stick him in somepony else for awhile. I need to go apologize to Soarin. It’s almost ‘that time of the year’ and I really need to have a stallion around for that,” Dash explained.
“Wow, that’s a lot of information to take in,” Twilight said.
[Wait? What’s ‘that time of the year’? Don’t tell me it’s—]
“So, what’s the trick? We grab the Elements of Harmony to fix it? We write to Celestia?” Dash asked.
“I’m not sure those would work yet. I need more evidence. We can try the Elements tomorrow, though for the time being I think it’s best that we keep this to ourselves. Just us, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. If ponies find out one of the Elements has an alien living inside her, it’ll cause panic.”
“Why? It’s not like he’s gonna bring more aliens to live in our brains,” Dash said.
“Maybe, Dash, but you don’t really know him that well. Plus, ponies might think that Chrysalis or some other evil is behind this in an attempt to take over Equestria by disabling the Elements one by one.”
Dash slowly landed on the bed and relaxed. “Well, this isn’t all some ploy by Chrysalis is it? Is he here to kill me?”
[No!]
“I don’t know, Dash. All we know is somepony, a ‘human’, is stuck in your head. I don’t know how he got there, or how to get him out. I don’t even know if he’s damaging your brain.”
“Huh? How could he hurt my brain? He promised not to hit my head on stuff anymore.”
Twilight levitated some of her notes over and began to read from them. “The pony cerebrum is comprised of two halves and six lobes. Now, assuming he is residing equally within each lobe on one side of the—”
Ugh, why do I ask her these things?
[You want me to translate?]
You speak egghead?
[Apparently, more than you. She’s just going over the shape of the brain right now. Twilight thinks that I live in one half of your brain, and you live in the other.]
Wow, that’s so much more simple than the way she puts it.
[Yeah, I get the feeling she doesn’t grasp the concept that not all ponies are child prodigies.]
Exactly! When I ask her to explain something she always acts like she’s reading a dictionary out loud. Now what’s she saying?
[Hmm, something about how our memories are going to turn us into one pony or something? Ask her to repeat that and go slower.]
“Hey, Twi, can you repeat that and use normal words?” Dash asked.
“Oh, okay,” Twilight answered. “Well, one of my theories is that you are each living in half of the brain. The two halves share several synapses—I mean, there are pathways between the two halves. When he ‘reads your mind’ he’s really just accessing your half of the brain. The more memories you two create while sharing the body, the more your brain ‘learns’ to communicate.”
“Isn’t that good?” Dash asked.
[Not so much, I don’t want us to get mixed up.]
“Well, it depends. It’s basically blending you together. I can’t think of any theoretical models where two separate consciousnesses can co-exist inside one brain. It simply doesn’t have enough space to accommodate them. This could lead to. . . detrimental side effects.”
“What kind?”
Twilight gulped and began to shuffle her notes, looking closely at them. She continued to examine them, fidgeting and glancing nervously at Dash every so often.
It’s not like her to be that coy.
[I’m pretty sure we have three options and she’s worried about the last one. First, she finds a way to fix it and is able to isolate me and get me out. If we wait too long, she won’t be able to tell us apart.]
Okay, so what if she doesn’t get you out in time?
[That’s the part that worries her. If she’s right and we can’t both ‘fit’ in here there are only two options. We combine into a ‘new’ pony that’s half of each of us, or. . .]
Or what?
[I’m just guessing but. . . your body rejects one of us. One of us would have to die or be killed to allow the brain to function normally.]
“I’m gonna die!” Dash shouted.
“No!” Twilight barked. “I mean, we can’t know for certain. I’ll find a way to get him out. I don’t know how to stop you two from slowly getting mixed up. All your memories and personalities could merge. You could forget things like flight camp or the Wonderbolt’s Academy as your brain ‘throws away’ memories to make more room for Don.”
“Crap, what about him?”
“I imagine he’s already forgetting things too to try and make room. It’s like trying to fit a hoofball in your mouth. Unless you let some air out it’s just too big.”
[Hey, it’ll be okay. You’re an amazing flier and I don’t want to ruin your life, I just want to get out, okay?]
Thanks.
“Okay,” Dash said. She looked down and fidgeted with her hooves and I could feel how nervous she was. “So, what do you want me to do in the meantime? I mean, you can figure out what’s really gonna happen, right? I don’t like where your theory is headed.”
“Of course. As I learn more about this I can be of more help. I’ll notify Celestia I need time to deal with a personal matter, and make some inquiries to your condition. If I can’t fix this within the week, I’ll have to bring Celestia in to see if she can fix it.”
“Why don’t we just get her right now?” Dash asked.
“First off, she made me a princess, and with that comes more responsibility. I need to fix this. I can’t always run to her to fix everything. Second, we don’t know how she’ll handle it. Who is to say she won’t consider Don a necessary sacrifice to save the Element of Loyalty?
“What? Celestia wouldn’t do that.”
Twilight sighed. “She banished her sister to the moon for a millenia and had us destroy Sombra. When it comes to the safety of her subjects she isn’t afraid to do whatever is necessary.”
“No! Don just got here and he seems super nice!” Pinkie said.
“It’s okay. If I haven’t fixed it in a week I’ll at least know enough to offer other options to Celestia.” Twilight began stacking her notes up on her desk. “Out of respect for you, Dash, and the life of Don, I’m not going to rush blindly into something that could get either of you hurt.”
“But you just said we’re gonna turn into one pony or die, so won’t a week be too long?” Dash asked.
“If—and it’s just a theory, so it is a big ‘if’—the two of you are merging it should take at least a month. So long as your personalities are intact, so long as you can each ‘be yourself’, you’ll be okay. If you find yourself starting to act like Don, or if he starts acting like you, then it’s a sign it’s progressing.”
[I’m smelling a lot of ‘if’ coming off her plan, and I don’t like it.]
“Don’s right. There are way too many ‘if’s in your plans and theories. I’ll keep this whole mess between the six of us Elements, but until we have more to go on I don’t want to hear all these theories,” Dash explained.
“Fair enough. There is no sense in worrying about the ‘what ifs’. Would you like a hoof getting home?” Twilight said.
“Seriously?! What am I, Granny Smith?” Dash crossed her arms and pouted. “I can fly home just fine!”
“Dash, I just meant I could teleport you there if you’d like.”
[Ugh, no way. That teleporting feels so wrong, I don’t want to teleport anymore.]
Oh really?
[. . . Crap.]
“Twilight, actually I’m pretty tired. Will you teleport me home?” Dash asked.
“Of course!” Twilight’s horn began to glow.
[You’re evil, Dash.]
Look who is talking.
I felt the hairs on Dash’s body stand on end and tingle. This teleport seemed more controlled than the last one. I felt Dash being stretched impossibly thin, her entire body draining like liquid through a small hole and reforming on the other side. Her hooves were both on and off the ground, her body existent and nonexistent, for a moment that could have lasted seconds or hours.
We materialized inside Dash’s house and she began to trot towards her bathroom.
[How? Why? Everything I know about physics—which isn’t a lot—says that teleportation isn’t possible!]
Dude, it’s magic.
[That’s like saying the sun just rises ‘by magic’ or that the planet orbits the sun ‘by magic’! There are laws for everything, and even though advanced technology may look like magic to primitive species, it’s still not magic!]
Now you’re messing with me again. Everypony knows Celestia raises the sun, and that the sun orbits Equestria.
[No, that’s not possible. The amount of energy to manipulate the orbit of the sun around a planet is astronomical!]
Dash walked into the bathroom and turned the hot water on in her tub. Between the knobs was a multi-purpose nozzle to fill the bath or serve as a flexible shower head. As it filled up with water she got a towel out.
The sun rises with magic.
[Damn it, Dash, you’ve got to give me more than ‘magic’!]
Well, I’m not a unicorn so I don’t know much about magic. Maybe you want to talk about Pinkie Sense instead?
[Fine, I’ll shut up.]
That’s the first kind thing you’ve done for me since you got here.
Dash put her hooves into the hot water and then leaned back, letting herself slide onto her wings. She lay belly up in the tub, half-floating, as the hot water soothed her muscles.
She reached for the water to turn it off, and instead knocked the shower head into the water. It was one of those flexible hoses with a shower head on the end, which made sense to help a pony clean their hard to reach areas. In fact, given their shape, I imagine all of their areas are hard to reach.
The shower head landed in the water with a splash and came to rest between Dash’s flanks. It was still turned on and I heard her moan briefly before she kicked the shower head away, embarrassed.
[Did. . . did you just got aroused?!]
Shut up! This isn’t a conversation we’re having. I have needs, but not with some horny human sitting in my head!
“Come on, I haven’t been that bad, have I?” I asked. I glanced around in disbelief, as if I hadn’t just gotten control of her body back.
[This. This right here is the worst part of our situation. I can’t even take a bath without getting zapped back into the corners of my mind.]
“Ah, it feels good to talk out loud, doesn’t it Dash?” I laughed softly and felt around for the shower head with a hoof. “Look, maybe tomorrow you’ll be in control more? I mean, the more I’m in control the more exhausted I feel. Maybe that means I’ll spend more time in the back seat?”
[That’d be nice, because right now you seem to be hogging my body.]
“Yeah, and your body is so. . . tense, isn’t it?”
I smiled and my thoughts went to a dark place—not serial killer kind of dark, but more of a ‘what if I had lady parts’ place. The place all men go to when they wonder, however briefly, what it would be like for a woman.
Of course, Dash read these thoughts and knew what me and the shower head were planning long before it happened.
[Oh no, you don’t! That’s supposed to be private!]
“Don’t worry, Dash, I won’t tell if you won’t. Besides, I think you need some release.”
[Don’t—Don, I—ooh, right there!]