Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up.

The Canterlot Archive messes this up.

Proofread by Octavia Harmony.

Special thanks to Selbi for additional help.

Live reading by CaptainBron3y

My name is Celestia. This is a kind of log, an epistolary detailing various portions of my experiences throughout my long life, and several analytical reflections that come to mind at times. Most importantly, it is a collection of personal thoughts as I struggle through my eternal life's hardships.

Now that my purpose has been discovered, I have decided to share these entries with everypony here; perhaps my own shared introspection over my lifetime could provide an alternative way of thinking to some. If not, then I hope I did not bore you. I realize much of it is pointless rambling, but I have chosen several entries that I believe may be of interest.

Enjoy, if you like.

Nearly two thousand years before the founding of Equestria, the mortal races of the ancient kingdoms rose up against the Alicorn Imperium that had ruled over them, treating them as little more than slaves for millennia. One by one the alicorns of the Imperium were hunted down. Most were executed for their crimes against those they considered 'lesser' ponies. But a few of the most powerful were imprisoned for all time. They should have killed them all.

After nearly three thousand years imprisoned, one of them has broken the bonds of her prison. Now she seeks to reestablish the dominance of the alicorn race, and overthrow the disgraceful excuses for alicorns that are currently in power.

A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

Isolated from her friends and taken prisoner in the middle of a war, Twilight must deal with the very real dangers of being percieved as an enemy as well as the nightmares of her arrival on 'Earth'. Can she overcome her own fears and the fears of her captors? Will the wayward unicorn's assistance be a boon or a curse to the 'humans?' Most importantly, will she ever find her way home?

"In short, it's a story of friendship and plasma rifles, with the emphasis on the friendship. The characters are well written, the XCOM setting is fleshed out very well, and the story is compelling. If you love XCOM, you'll love the story, but even if you've never heard of it, it's more than worth giving the first 3 chapters a read.

There's excellent action later on, but the real strength lies in the collision between the friendly and naive world of Twilight Sparkle and the desperate world of humans fighting a losing war for survival and willing to do anything to turn the tide."

--Arzoo

(XCOM/FiM crossover)
(Cover art commissioned by a friend and created by the magnificent FoxInShadow!)
(Original cover art by the amazing Carnelian can be viewed here!)
(Gore tag for blood and some violence)
(Many thanks to the studius OminousTen, Arzoo, xXFluttershyForeverXx and finally Setokaiva for giving my rambles a once-over)
(Now with it's own TV Tropes page! Get to tropin' folks!)

It had been nearly a year since you won that labor lottery. This job had quickly turned into the best thing that has ever happened to you and your family. From the Grestin checkpoint, you had seen it all; terrorist attacks, long-seperated lovers getting back together, people trying to smuggle drugs into the country...
None of that compares to the day a portal opens to an alternate dimension just outside the walls.
Which is bad, because inevitably that means more papers for you to check and double check.
But still, a job's a job. Might as well keep a straight face about it...
And remember:
Glory to Arstotzka.

The War of the Witches? Ever since you began visiting me here in my garden, my newest student, your inquiries have all revolved around that ancient conflict. I will admit, I wish you would ask me about something else. No? Very well. You have selected the subject, but this evening I shall choose the setting, as I believe there is something I need to say.

Yes, something I need to say indeed…

It is the year 2038, and the Earth is slowly being consumed by a space-borne monstrosity dubbed the Black Tide, which is using nanotechnology to remake the planet into something hideously alien.

Erin Olsen works for Project Harmonics, humanity's last-ditch effort to find a new world before the Tide can wipe them out. But when that world is found, and it turns out to be occupied, Erin will need to find the courage to face the unknown in order to save the inhabitants of both worlds.

(Many thanks to Easteu for the fantastic cover image for this story!)

Now with its own TV Tropes page

There is now a follow-up to this story: Sunflower - Side Projects
Sequel: Project Sunflower: Harmony

Career-criminal Silent Shadow has been captured again and is expecting another vacation at one of Equestria's rehabilitation clinics. Instead, she has a meeting with Celestia to learn just why the kingdom is crime-free.

Featured on Equestria Daily 09/02/14