• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2016

The Descendant


Thanks, but please don't send me cash "tips." Instead, support this charity: The Fletcher Street Urban Riding Club.

T

The War of the Witches? Ever since you began visiting me here in my garden, my newest student, your inquiries have all revolved around that ancient conflict. I will admit, I wish you would ask me about something else. No? Very well. You have selected the subject, but this evening I shall choose the setting, as I believe there is something I need to say.

Yes, something I need to say indeed…

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 218 )

...Damn you, you bastard... Her greatest desire, TD you made me cry and weep with and for my princess. How does she go forward, how does keep doing her duty with that pain?

4230267
Because she must, Pal... because she must.

Momma-lestia is best lestia.

I always love it when someone gives Celestia the respect she deserves without downplaying someone else. Celestia is a great character that is criminally under utilized, and I really feel for her. She loves all of her little ponies, but that love always comes with a price.

The burden is heavy, but I think Celestia would agree that the price she has to pay is worth it. It can get to her sometimes, but I have no doubt that she would never choose any other way.

This site needs more stories like this for Celestia. Bravo, sir.

-Lumino

“Can you sing me the song, Momma? Please?”
Tears rolled down Weldbronys face in unceasing waves.
:fluttercry:
You need to write something happy you so and so:applecry:

4230473
I'm very glad that the piece has met with your approval, Lumino. I agree with your sentiments about Tia, and I hope that the work strikes a chord with those who are in sympathy with that belief.:twilightsmile:


4230542
I'm glad that I could put a little emotion in it for yoy, Weld. I'll write something happy again, eventually.:pinkiesmile:

Well, dang. Hugs for Tia. My human brain has trouble seeing her as so benevolent and self-sacrificing, especially after all those years, but there it is.

I wonder, if somepony is able to Science! or Magic! the appropriate ingredient, would Celestia be willing to bear a foal that way? Or is the "I can't" too ingrained in her personality now?

The best interpretation of Celestia I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Absolutely loved it. :heart:

If there's anyone who should be taking anyone for anything, it should me thanking you for writing these stories.

Oh god. I'm sitting here at lunch, reading this in Taco Bell, tears filling my eyes.

Don't mind me, just cutting some onions over here. So the eternal mother... I got nothing to say, I got nothing. Really, anything I really start to think about writing for this just stops. Congratulations on a job well done.


Damn greatness not letting me say the right things....

“Momma loves you so very much…”

With that, he was gone. I lay there on the cold earth, staring at the spot where he had disappeared.

and this is where the tears start, why must you write such beautiful stories that kidney punch me in the feelz?shaneblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/lie-down-try-not-to-cry-cry-a-lot.jpg

I guess I can start off with some thoughts about the writing:

I guess you could use em dashes (—) over hyphens, but that's never particularly bothered me.

There is a lot of emphasis on "your sovereign," which doesn't sound like something Celestia would say and doesn't appear to add to the story (so far as I can tell). It sounds like Celestia is trying to distance herself by saying that, but the story shows that she loves being close to her little ponies.

There my vanguard and I strayed straight into the midst of Jed’Oc and his guard, the High King of the Mah’Qua.

I assume that Jed'Oc is the High King and not his guard. Whichever way it is, it's somewhat ambiguous.

Draggle’s dress had been torn, but I had drawn first blood.

The two parts of the sentence don't seem to contradict each other, so I'm not sure why it uses the word "but".

“My greatest desire?”

I don't think Draggle ever says that power is Celestia's greatest desire. It makes the transition seem a little more forced than it should.

I supplicate myself; I surrender myself!

Wouldn't she be supplicating Draggle? It doesn't make much sense for her to implore herself.

Soon my coat and tangled mane were filled with dirt and pine needles and I plead in wild, wounded tones for the magic to restore the child to me.

pleaded

I wonder if this would have had a greater effect on me if I hadn't read it in segments throughout the school day. I mostly like this story for the worldbuilding as opposed to the strong emotion, but that's not a flaw in the story. Everyone looks for something different in a story, after all. I found it sweet and felt sad for Celestia, but I didn't shed tears for her. At any rate it's a wonderful story.

Edit:

“Do you believe her?” I plead in a whimper.

Also pleaded or pled.

4232236
Those are certainly questions worth asking, Zong. I personally see life as something that escapes magic, but a lot of authors make good arguments in favor of such things. I guess that anything is possible.:twilightsmile:


4232725
Thank you, Mess. That means a great deal to me.:pinkiesmile:


4232911
You should have told the staff that they made your lunch too spicy and tried to score some free soda out of it!:twilightsheepish:


4232931
Very interesting point, Merc, in looking at it from a theological perspective. Isn't it amazing that such questions can arise from something like ponies? I certainly hope to write some fun/comedic things again soon.:pinkiehappy:

4235772 This is my usual Taco Bell, they know me too well for that. I'm in there reading at lunch several times a week.

4233105
Heh, if I've rendered you speechless, Issy, then I must be doing something right!:twilightsmile:


4233110
Ah! If tears are involved, the I've done something right!:pinkiesmile:


4234914
Thank you, Sy. I can really use those suggestions. They are supposed to be em-dashes, but for some reason they look smaller here than they did on GDocs. I wonder why that is? And the the "but" is supposed to be an "and." I'll fix those right now. Good catches all around!:raritywink:

The five ancient pines stood over the carnage, aloof in their agelessness, looking down upon the mortal squabbling with silent contempt.

“Make for the five pines!” I called aloud. “Reform on the open ground at the ring of pines!”

Ah. I don't know why, but these lines made something click for me. This is Equestria's American Civil War. This is bloody and twisted, cruel to both sides, and far too long. Injustice lies in the wings, and it will end more from attrition than from decisive victories.

And it'll probably end with a tragedy. *Cough*Nightmare Moon*Cough*

Which makes me wonder, perhaps for the first time, perhaps again: Just what the heck happened to make Hydia so venomous? Did you already explain the exact circumstances? I know you've gotta someday. :twilightsheepish:

Soon the Dawnbringer, the Invictus, was screaming, begging the deep magic to return to her the happy phantom that had given her such happiness.

if I could make a suggestion? I personally, humbly think that you should remove that first "happy" and make it some other descriptive adjective. Two happy and happy derivatives in close proximity lessen the impact of either one.

4232911
Taco Bell makes me cry, too. But The Descendant's stories hold better sources of tears. :rainbowwild:

4234914

There is a lot of emphasis on "your sovereign," which doesn't sound like something Celestia would say and doesn't appear to add to the story (so far as I can tell).

Hmm, I actually think that's something TD sprinkles in his stories, since I think i've read it a few times before. Maybe in To Change a Heart. Most likely in Certain Advantages. It's a bit of his headcanon come to life, and I think it fits with his version of Celestia.

It sounds like Celestia is trying to distance herself by saying that, but the story shows that she loves being close to her little ponies.

I think it's that want vs need thing. She needs to be that all-powerful, ever-watchful sovereign ruler, but she just wants to be that ever-loving, soft-and-fuzzy momma. It's her way of reminding herself to keep it chill.


I enjoyed this a great deal, TD. I much liked the expansion on the old tale from Fever Dreams, and it was already one of my favorites from that collection. Thanks for the early view!

4235861
I'll fix that "happy/happy" thing right now. Thanks for the suggestion and catch! You are most welcome for the preview... it's an advantage of membership in The Ravens, isn't it?:twilightsheepish:

4235951

it's an advantage of membership in The Ravens, isn't it?:twilightsheepish:

Indeed it is an advantage of being in one of the more awesome groups on FimFiction. Why, special previews are only the beginning of membership benefits. Two exclusive vignettes, a direct line to fellow fans, and opportunities to enter caption contests are just some of the many fabulous activities members such as I participate in!

And so easy, too! All I needed to do was go to The Ravens: A Group for Fans of The Descendant and click "join," and I felt the benefits immediately!

Sorry, I think I just had a sudden flash of the shills. :applejackconfused: (and your line was such a perfect lead-in I couldn't help myself. Apologies.)

:fluttercry:

I don't have a detailed analysis for you--I was the kid who would read voraciously, earn lots and lots of those Pizza Hut reading incentive coupons (never, ever cashed one in) but would have to spend lunchtimes in detention to actually wring a book report out. I'll be giving you (yet another) fave once this posts, though.

...

OK, so it won't let me fave. Maybe because it's a preview? Have a Like, instead.

4236579
I wish I had a coupon to give you, Paper, but take my appreciation instead.:twilightsheepish:

Dammit I was having a good day until I read this. Why you do this to me?:fluttercry:

This story makes me so very sad

Great story though, as always. :eeyup:

Comment posted by Skeeter The Lurker deleted Apr 15th, 2014
Comment posted by Skeeter The Lurker deleted Apr 15th, 2014

Son of a...

I double post a comment, try and delete one... End up deleting both.

Sorry, mate.

Anyway. I loved this. Hits pretty hard, and I looooove the scene you set for it all.

Also, that headcanon you got for Celestia... Just all of my yes.

~Skeeter The Lurker

The Everfree was not yet darkened. It sat around the castle that my father had raised for my sister and me

Shouldn't that be "my sister and I"?

Damn, definitely a good take on seeing Celestia as the Eternal Mother. When others state that Celestia is motherly it's usually in the present context, I don't think I've seen it explored so much as this with the use of a historical event to help that explanation; very sad to read as each pony passed on and what she remembers of their life.

A beautiful hommage to Celestia, the ever-loving pony :fluttershysad:

You got me intrigued with the witches, described as "women"

How human are this women ? you don't really describe them, which is logical as they were not the point of the story. But still, I'd now like to know a lot more about Equestria situation at that time.
You wetted my appetite for (good!) world-building with these tasty morcels

I want to write some exquisite response to this, but I think elegance is better than eloquence here. My reaction to this story can be expressed in just two words:

Them feels.

Thank you for this, TD. It was wonderfully done.

4238665 It would only be "my sister and I" if they had been the subject of the sentence. Otherwise, it should be "my sister and me," as he has it :twilightsmile:

And that was a mindblowingly amazing story. Keep up the amazing work T.D.!

4238792 Ah, you're right. I need to remember the actual test, rather than just sticking to the more common structure. The trick is after all to simply remove the other person from the sentence.

"Me buy milk at the market."
"The store owner gave I milk."

Neither is correct.

Thanks for the reminder.

A damn good story, and now I know how to approach the second chapter to a particular story I've been planning. Thank you.

Faved for later reading, after I get some more of my own writing caught up on.

Damn... That was some powerful stuff Descy. It makes the goings on in Zenith even more painful to boot...

Dammit, TD, you hit me right in the feels. :fluttercry: Right where it hurts the most, too.

I feel somewhat guilty about my comments on your stories, because they're almost always just "Wow, TD, this is gorgeous."

It's true, but this deserves a bit more. So, what the hell, I'll double down on it. This is unapologetically gorgeous. It's lovely and sad and hopeful and...

It's going in my "damn good horsewords" pile.

The writing is excellent, a true D, this one. And yet it didn't strike my heartstrings like "The Railway Ponies: Highball". I'm not sure as to why. I refuse to believe that the lack of a womb makes me indifferent to the pains and sorrow of a mother. Maybe it's the obvious distance Celestia tells the story with? Even if she still remembers the pain there is only a scar and some regret, but the tears have dried.
Or it might be the simple fact that this fits perfectly into my headcanon, and I filed this away as 'This happened, life goes on' long ago.
I have to sleep over this.

I am a terrible person, I know... I found this most interesting for the tantalising glimpse of the Witch War occasionally mentioned than for the emotional content.

(Largely because I am coming to believe that TD!Celestia is her own worst enemy and actually subconsciously likes punishing herself by being between silly and stupid (see: Zenith) when it comes to her "children." (I dunno, maybe somewhere deep down she actually thinks she's not worthy of affection or something.) Fer frack's sake, duck, if it bothers you that much, go out and find/date an adult pony/zebra/griffon/dragon/whatever you didn't mother as a child, since I find it hard to believe a) you actually have personally raised every sentient/sapient being in Equus and b) that you/Twilight can't, in fact, rather trivially bypass any biological species barriers via magic given that friendship and love is, y'know, an actual physical force in Equus. But I digress. And, like I said: terrible person, and using the loosest possible definition of "person" at that.))

So, while this was interesting from a historical perspective, the emotional content of this one just completely passed me without incident (save for anger at ponies being killed and especially Draggle for being that fracking stupid*) - unlike Highball, it just didn't resonate with me. Mind you, I'm not a procreational person at the best of times - even recreationally - so it's all a basically alien concept to me, as someone who has no parental instincts whatsoever, even before I was Lich.

Noting, though, at least by the time I got to it, this was one WAS in the feature box. Which is interesting, since - to be brutally honest - I thought Highball was better. But like I said there, lack of Named Character I think was, sadly, the major difference.


*My tolerance for Too Stupid Not To Know What They're Doing Is Wrong has been completely evaporated by modern human society at this point.

Celestia fascinates me forever, in every positive incarnation the fandom has invented for her.

It's issues, and I know what they are, but still. Thank Celestia for being Celestia; so by extension, thanks TD for bringing me more Celestia. :twilightblush:

4239461

The feature box really likes good Celestia in particular, and the Princesses in general. They seem to fascinate a big chunk of the readership here.

Hm, I wonder if those 14 likes from before the story was published affects its heat rating.

4238733
The names and design, as far as I know, are from G1's My Little Pony: The Movie.

>>>“Do you believe her?” I plead in a whimper. “Do you truly believe that my greatest desire is domination? Subjugation?”

“Yes,” she answered.>>>

"Well then," Celestia sighed... and shimmered? "Your absolutely right," came the whisper to Draggle's ears before a hoof wreathed in living flame burst through her throat.

And so, the reign of Tyrantlestia began and shall never end. All hail the Sun Goddess! :pinkiecrazy:

:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

OH MY GOD DID YOU WRITE A STORY ABOUT THE WITCHES WAR I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR THIS

I can't wait to read this, I am totally reading it tomorrow morning :D

I just can't like the Witches...

Because of them, there was The Unspeakable Movie and the... the... *shudders and murmers in disgust*.. Smooze... *vomits repeatedly until blood gushes from his mouth*

It was almost as bad as the Twilight Saga. Almost. :trollestia:

Oh, poor, poor Celestia.

I wept.

And I strongly suspect she knew just what the spell would do to her, and what she would have to bear for the rest of her 'children'

An interesting peek into the history of your universe and an epic one at that.

Instead all that sat there between us was a pain that only mares and women know, an understanding shared only by the bearers of wombs.

I've got to say I'm not particularly happy with the implications of this. I suppose no one can ever really know both sides of the coin but I'm not happy with the idea that my love of a child or feelings of the loss of the child are any less strong because of my sex.

Why do people put the title in the picture too...?

4238597
I can only write the heart-rending stories that are in my head, Manes. Sorry about that.:twilightsmile:


4238614
I'm glad that the emotions were there for you, Ezio. Thanks for the read.:pinkiesmile:


4238649
Despite the difficulties, I'm glad that you took the time to leave me a note, Skeet.:twilightsmile:


4238665
Starlit beat me to the explanation. I'll admit... I had it as "and I" before Shake caught it.:pinkiehappy:

4238726
I was indeed thinking that when I was working the story–that Celestia has always felt this way. I'm glad that you were intrigued by the concept.:twilightsmile:


4238733
Good question, Rhae. In my mind, the witches are a race. They are very human-like, but they are not human. I hope that isn't too vague.:pinkiesmile:


4238788
You are welcome, Fan, it was my pleasure to share it with you.:twilightsheepish:


4238875
I'm glad that I was able to provide you with a guidepost, West.:pinkiehappy:

4238965
I look forward to your thoughts when you get a chance to look it over, RK.:twilightsmile:


4239278
It certainly does, and it will only get worse.:pinkiegasp:


4239326
Ah, yes, "the feels," always my foremost target!:twilightsheepish:


4239349
That's a pile that I'm quite happy to be thrown on, Spacey.:pinkiehappy:

4239461
In truth, I favor Highball as a work over this one, too, but this story does something that the O.C. story does not. One purpose of fan fiction is to explore the drives and motivations of characters that the canon has not and could not do. While Highball explored the story of "a pony," this work shows the drives of a character with much depth. I understand, and even endorse, your sentiments, Aotrs, but I can't begrudge the success of one work over another. They are all my children! Thanks for giving this a read either way.:twilightsmile:


4239918
I was very glad to bring you more Celestia, Jord.:pinkiesmile:


4240056
I dunno. I just feel more comfortable knowing that people whose opinions I respect had a chance to look it over first and give me some idea about if I've done something monstrously wrong.:twilightoops:


4240095
Yup! Even though the witches "appear" in Children of a Lesser Dragon God and To Change a Heart this was their first named speaking role.:pinkiehappy:

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