//------------------------------// // Entry 21 - Simplicity // Story: Diary of a Ruler // by Lamia //------------------------------// Today, the Grand Galloping Gala was upon Canterlot once more. I went through the usual routine. I greeted nobles, artisans, painters of all kinds. They were all delighted to be in my presence. I must confess, however; I do not enjoy the Gala. The majority of my time is spent welcoming the high society, after which is sitting quietly at the feast, listening to the ramblings of those with little empathy. On occasion there will be a blunder; somepony stumbling, tripping, falling. The pony doing so laughs, and so do the rest. I smile, but with a quick passing over. The others make it the talk of the night. It had such little meaning... At times, I envy that they can be so simple. I wonder about my complex thought processes. I look at the average individual; they have little to no worries. One wakes in their bed and make plans a day at a time. They go to their work that they enjoy through the day, coming home and resting after a job well done. A delicious meal is shared between the family of that household. No matter what the age, the social status, the wealth, a family is truly what harmony is. It saddens me that I am unable to experience such a thing, now; the pain has been too great in my attempts. Perhaps all of the pain has had meaning. It taught me about myself, made me think in different ways. The ones I have lost... they and their memories now live with me. I wonder about my fixation on the ponies in the past that have become close to me. Why I continue to try and make friends every few years, despite knowing what happens, is beyond me. I suppose it is something that everypony needs, friendship. I remember every single friend, every relationship, in perfect detail. They touched my heart each time, only to let go so soon after we meet. When I look upon the simple ponies within the queendom, I grow envious. I want to be able to enjoy entertainment without criticism. I want to laugh when somepony tells a joke not tailored to my taste. I want to be disgusted when somepony does something intolerable to society; even to the most heinous criminal, I can see from their point of view. Am I cursed to have these thought processes, to rarely find enjoyment or emotion in what I see every day? I want ignorance. The amount of it fluctuates from one to another, but it is ever-apparent. It is a plague of society that vastly affects one's judgement, opinions, and actions. However, ignorance, or possibly innocence, can lead to a happier, more content life. I can know no such luxury, and it bothers me.