• Published 21st Feb 2012
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Diary of a Ruler - Lamia



Thoughts of the sun princess.

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Entry 606 - Death

Luna and I have been visiting with the rulers of the land one last time to convince them to cease their destruction before they destroy themselves, in an attempt to tell them that we are their only saving grace. Despite all that they have done, our forgiveness and care for all is the only way that we can restore balance to the world. So far, we have been met with hostility; it was to be expected. However, we knew we must at least give them one last chance, a chance which they have squandered. Their downfall is inevitable, now.

We want nothing more to do with the rest of the world. While we realize that not everypony out there is like the selfish rulers, it is our fault as a whole that everything has turned out this way, and it is -- was -- our responsibility. There is no more we can do except wait for it to be over.

As we wait out the endless war for years in this cave, several refugees occasionally sought shelter on our doorstep. Spike greeted them on guard, but if Luna and I could sense their peaceful hearts, then they were let in. The ones that came were certainly surprised to see their old princesses, and the begging that coincided with each new arrival only served to bring more pain into our hearts.

There were at least a dozen or two ponies that found this cave in total looking for a brighter future, or at least a comfortable present, away from it all. I am disheartened to say that they all had passed away from an unknown sickness in weeks time, but my sister and I tried to make all of their final days worthwhile. We took them with us to explore the wonders of the world, some of which still stood strong, and talked with them as friends rather than rulers. They died peacefully, and our regret was lessened.

It is unfortunate that Spike seems to become more downtrodden each day; we believe he may be afflicted by the sickness as well, but working slower due to his size and species. He has not passed yet, but he has made known his happiness for knowing the two of us. Keeping him company for this decade of war has brought all of us at least some solace, which is more than enough compared to what is still out there. Should he decide to let his life end and forego the misery, we will oblige his request and let him pass on with a peaceful mind.

As we took flight to visit with the rulers, we have noticed the damage to the world. The population is much less, plants wither, and the ponies know not of smiles. Sickness, poverty, and crime run rampant throughout the land. Everything is at a terrible state, and it is difficult to imagine that it could get worse. We notice that even the rulers are feeling the pressure of disharmony, at least, so perhaps it will be over soon.

Earlier today when Spike was foraging for gems in the mountains nearby, he found a tiny filly by herself. He did the right thing by bringing her to us, but she is the worst reminder of how everything has become due to our actions. It is unfair; she was born during war, a sweet mind of innocence and purity, with only devastation and resentment all around her. Despite all that she has been through, she remains complacent and overjoyed to meet with her princesses, giving us a light of hope for the future.

For everything that has happened, I question our existence. Is this all that could have happened, no matter what? What more could we have done to prevent this? I think back to previous thoughts of peace, whether it is or not when it is forced. However, if I did so, I would have subverted all original meaning of self and my goals. I do not want to become them. I must stay true to myself, but if this is the outcome... then I want nothing to do with it. If only it were not too late to change it all.

With this little one that we have adopted on a whim with her happy agreement, she may be the last experience of true comfort that Luna and I will have for a long time. We will do everything we can to bring her and us said comfort.