The Big Finale
“Twilight.” Maud whispered as the three were ferried along in their cages. “Can’t you use your magic. Blast us out of these cages.” Somehow, despite her whispering, the whispers still maintained the monotone quality of Maud’s voice.
“I could if this was normal rock,” Twilight responded from her cage on Thorax’s back, “but this rock, these cages… I think Omnus is affecting them. Magic does nothing!”
“Are we there yet?” Pinkie asked the changeling her cage was on. “I’m bored.”
“Pinkie, are you crazy?!” Twilight hissed. Then she rolled her eyes. “Silly question.” She muttered, before continuing. “We’re about to die, Pinkie! Can’t you at least acknowledge that fact?!”
“Silly Twilight. We’re gonna be fine!” Pinkie replied to her.
“No we’re not! Pinkie, there’s no way we could possibly escape! We’ve lost…” Twilight said hopelessly.
“What kind of talk is that?” Pinkie said. “You’re not the Twilight I know! Twilight would never give up on her friends, no matter how bleak the situation!”
“I don’t want to give up, Pinkie – truly, I don’t.” Twilight said quietly. “But think about it – my magic is essentially nullified, Maud’s strength can’t break these diamonds, and it’s not like we can escape these…” Twilight trailed off, her eyes brightening. “Pinkie, that’s it! Escape from your cage, like you did when Thorax read his speech! Get help or something!”
“Uh… heh heh…” Pinkie said, rubbing the back of her head. “I can only do stuff like that when it’s a funny situation. I don’t see any excuses for jokes now, though…”
“Speaking of Thorax, he’s been awfully quiet.” Maud said, peering at the large figure at the front of the miniature parade.
“What else is there for him to say? We’re doomed.” Twilight mumbled, sinking to the floor of the cage.
A pink hoof slapped Twilight across her face. She looked up to see Pinkie’s unnaturally extendable hoof retracting into her cage. “You just stop that depressing talk right now, missy-moo!” Pinkie cried. “We are NOT going to die! And you know why?”
“…why?” Twilight asked hesitantly, knowing the answer would make little sense.
“Because we’re the main characters! And the main characters never die!” Pinkie said with a squeaking smile.
“Yep. No sense at all.” Twilight throught to herself, burying her face in her forelegs.
“We’re heeee-rrre!” Thorax said jovially, as excited as a realtor introducing people to their new home. Sure enough, they had reached a massive archway, out of which orange light poured.
The procession walked through the archway into the chamber beyond, and Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. It was beautiful… and terrible.
Suspended in the middle of the enormous chamber was an orb of cracked stone, the size of a huddled-up ursa minor. It was suspended by massive tendrils of rock, which seemed to grow from the orb and slowly twist and interweave with each other, eventually reaching into the solid rock walls. Orange light flowed from the cracks in the orb and tentacles, and the entire structure seemed to pulse in a rhythmic fashion.
“It’s like a heart.” Twilight through to herself. “The heart of the world.”
At first glance, Twilight thought the outer walls of the chamber were black, but upon closer inspection, she noticed with mild revulsion that the black surfaces of the walls were shifting and moving – Changelings, thousands of them, crawling along the walls and over each other like bees in a hive.
“So!” Thorax said as the cages were set down. “I’m a benevolent fellow, and so I will allow you a great courtesy. You may choose which one of you gets sacrificed.”
“I’ll do it.” Said both Maud and Twilight simultaneously. Then the two looked at each other.
“If he’s going to sacrifice an alicorn, he’ll sacrifice me.” Maud said blandly.
“No, Maud, it’s not your responsibility.” Twilight said.
“It’s not yours either. I want to. If it means protecting Pinkie.”
“Maud, you never asked for any of this! You never asked to become an alicorn, you never asked for this power! I should be the one to be sacrificed!”
“You never asked to be an alicorn either. What’s your point.” Maud stated.
Twilight fumbled for a moment, before saying “If you die, who’ll watch over Pinkie!”
“You will. I have faith in you.”
Twilight’s eyes teared up. “Maud…”
Maud turned to Thorax. “Sacrifice me.” She said simply.
“No! Me!” Twilight said. “I’m the one to be sacrificed! I’ve been an alicorn longer, I have more power!”
“I have more meat on my bones.” Maud noted.
“What does that have to do with anything?!” Twilight questioned, exasperated.
“He’ll want to eat the one that’s fatter and jucier. I’m fatter than you.” Maud said, still expressionless.
“What… that…” Twilight paused. “That… doesn’t… uggggh!” She turned back to Thorax. “No, I’m fatter!”
“I’m morbidly obese.”
“Look at Maud! She’s all muscle from working on a farm! I just laze around in a library all day! I’m totally pudgy! Sacrifice me!”
“I have more protein in me. From rocks.”
“Enough!” said Thorax. “I’m just sacrificing this one.” His claw phased through the bars of one of the cages, and pulled out-
“Pinkie?!” Twilight cried. “But – but you said that you needed to sacrifice an alicorn! And you told us we could choose which one you sacrifice!”
“Well, I’m largely just killing this one out of spite, because she’s annoying.” Thorax stated, as he held Pinkie by her neck.
“Hey guys look! I can touch my nose with my tongue!” Pinkie said, before sticking her tongue out to touch her nose.
“See?” Thorax continued. “And as for you choosing… well, I never said I’d actually sacrifice the one you chose.”
“You dirty bug!” Twilight cried. “You’ll never get away with this!”
“Ah, cliché hero line number 546.” Thorax pointed out. “Allow me to respond with cliché villain line number 436: ‘I already have.’ Anyways, where was I?”
“Sacrificing me.” Pinkie pointed out.
“Ah, yes.” Thorax said, but was cut off by a loud BANG.
Everyone looked to see Maud rear back and SLAM her hoof into her cage bars again. The bars didn’t even dent.
“Cute. You keep on trying to escape while I sacrifice your sister, ‘kay?” Thorax said as he walked over to a stone table with chains embedded in it and began to force Pinkie into its stone cuffs.
“Twilight.” Maud whispered to Twilight.
“What?” Twilight said fearfully.
“I’ve located a weak point in one of the bars of the cage, but I’m still not strong enough.” Maud whispered. “I need just a little more force before I can open it. Can you reach your hoof over here?”
“I – I think so…” Twilight said, stretching her hoof to the diamond bars of Maud’s cage.
Maud gently guided her hoof to a certain bar. “On my count, pull the bar towards you with all your strength. I’ll push it from the other side. With our strengths combined, we might just be able to break it.”
Twilight glanced to Thorax, who had finished strapping Pinkie to the table. The monster raised its claws and began to whisper: “Raaka tchka, burruh shuh snd….”
“On my mark, Twilight.” Twilight turned back to Maud, and nodded. “One… two… three!” Twilight pulled upon the bar with all her might, and Maud pushed with all her strength, and the bar bent the tiniest bit. “C’mon, again… one, two, three!” The two pushed and pulled once more, and the bar visibly deformed.
“Heh… it tickles…” Twilight turned her head as she heard Pinkie’s voice, and nearly screamed: Pinkie’s hind legs were slowly disintegrating into sand. Even Pinkie’s forced cheerful attitude couldn’t hide her expression of pain and fear.
“Focus, Twilight.” Twilight turned back to Maud and nodded. “One, two… three!” More frantic pushing and pulling, and the bar began to loosen. “One more time. One, two, three!”
And with one last push, the bar fell away, leaving a gap just large enough for Maud to squeeze out from. Maud immediately began to push her way out of the cage, as Twilight turned to see Pinkie’s lower body wholly transmuted into sand.
Thorax’s continuous chant was cut off as Maud leapt at him, tackling the scorpion backwards. Taken off guard, Thorax stopped his chant, and Pinkie’s lower body and legs began to revert back to their natural state.
“Insolent whelp!” Thorax roared, as he swung his claw at Maud. The grey alicorn nimbly dodged, and landed a solid blow on Thorax’s face. The blow would have reduced any mortal being’s face to pulp, but it only knocked Thorax off balance. Maud, still impassive, leapt into the air and landed a mighty hoof on the back of Thorax’s neck.
Or she would have. Thorax raised his arms and spat out a word in a forgotten tongue, and a mighty sandstorm whipped up, right there in the cavern. Twilight could barely see as Maud’s finishing strike missed, and she landed on the ground.
“Kill her! Spill her blood so Omnus may rise!” came a hissing whisper, and the walls of the chamber came alive, the innumerable army of changelings buzzing into the air, charging at Maud.
As Maud dealt with the army, Twilight saw that Pinkie’s lower legs had finished reforming. Somehow, Pinkie’s lower legs were out of their shackles, through her upper legs were still strapped to the table. Twilight watched in astonishment as Pinkie contorted her back almost 180 degrees, and somehow stretched her hind hooves to reach her front hooves.
“It’s a good thing I have rubber bones!” Pinkie called to Twilight as the pink pony shimmied the cuffs. Though not as strong as her sister, a few strikes from Pinkie’s nimble hooves weakened the cuffs to where she could free her forelegs. Able to move once more, she rushed over to Twilight. “Hang tight, Twilight, I’ll see what I can do about getting you out of-“
“BEHIND YOU!” Twilight screamed, and Pinkie dodged as a Changeling leapt at her, only to slam into the bars of Twilight’s cage. Pinkie began to run around as a number of the changelings stopped fighting the unstoppable Maud to fetch the much easier prey.
Pinkie ran a few laps around the cavern as more and more changelings joined in the chase to catch her. Suddenly, she stopped, and turned to face the changelings. “Good thing I never leave home without my PARTY CANNON!” she cried, pulling her mighty artillery weapon out of… where she keeps it.
The changelings tried to get out of range, but it was far too late: tablecloths, streamers and balloons fired from the cannon with concussive force, knocking out the closer changelings and even blinding the farther ones with confetti and streamers.
“Good work, Pinkie!” Twilight called.
Pinkie was about to respond, but was cut off by the floor under her hooves glowing a burning orange. Pinkie leapt out of the way just as a massive torrent of magma burst from the ground, incinerating the party cannon.
“BURN! BURN TO ASHES!” Screamed Thorax, enraged at seeing so many soldiers being taken out by two ponies. He raised his arms, and another jet of magma burst out of the ground, Pinkie leaping out of the way just in time. Twilight watched as Pinkie fled a massive, infernal crack in the ground, which chased after her, spewing magma and fire.
Suddenly, Twilight’s cage was lifted up. “What – Maud?!” Twilight cried.
“Twilight, hover! Close your eyes!" Maud called, urgently and yet still bland as ever. Twilight hovered up inside the little room there was in her cage, as Maud maneuvered the cage above the erupting magma. Maud lowered the cave ever so carefully, so that the bottom floor of the cage was submerged in lava. There was a crackle and a deafening BANG, and Twilight was nearly blown out of the air from sheer force. She felt heat singe her fur and threaten to burn her skin. When she opened her eyes, the bottom of the cage was gone - combusted from the lava's incredible heat.
Wasting no time, Twilight darted out from the gap under her cage. “Thanks, Maud!” she called, charging up her horn and opening fire on the changeling hordes.
Even with Twilight’s magic, though, the endeavor was beginning to look fruitless: for every changeling eliminated, a dozen more sprung out of the woodwork.
“Agh!” Twilight cried out as a changeling got close enough to strike her right in the face. She felt something crack, and her nose was bent at an unnatural angle when she looked again. She felt warm red liquid dripping down her face. Enraged, Twilight sent out a massive scythe of magic to destroy a dozen changelings at once.
“ENOUGH!” came a roar, and Twilight looked to see Pinkie being grasped by her throat in Thorax’s massive claw. “On your knees, flesh-filth – or we’ll see just how pink her insides are!”
Twilight charged up another blast to fire at Thorax, only to stop as a hoof grabbed her around her throat.
“You could hurt Pinkie.” Maud said, staring at Twilight as her grip tightened.
“I have a clear shot! I can hit him without hitting Pinkie, I know I can!” Twilight said.
“Would you bet her life on it.” Maud said. “Would you really.”
The impact of the words sunk in, and Twilight hesitated. “Exactly.” Maud stated, flying down to the ground, dragging Twilight with her.
“On. Your. KNEES!” Thorax screamed, his grip around Pinkie’s neck tightening. One of his red eyes had gone black, and he was bleeding green from where Maud had initially struck him, but he only seemed to be angrier.
With no real choice, Twilight and Maud knelt down, faces towards the ground. Twilight heard Thorax march forward, and felt one of his insect legs slam into the back of her head, smashing her face into the ground.
Twilight got up again as Thorax’s leg lifted, and as the stars whirling around her vision cleared, she saw the blood from her broken nose smeared across the ground. As she watched, the blood soaked into the rock, like water into desert sand.
“Oh… nuts.” Twilight mumbled, as she felt the ground begin to quake.
“Yes… his glorious reign begins!” Thorax cried, dropping Pinkie and raising his arms. “Uulwi ifis halahs gag erh'ongg w'ssh!” he cried victoriously.
“Pinkie!” Twilight cried, rushing over to the discarded Pinkie.
“Twilight…” Pinkie said quietly. “I’m sorry… I should have never come…”
“We don’t have time for this.” Maud stated, trotting over. “We have maybe a minute before Omnus fully awakens.”
“Then… That’s it, then, isn’t it…” Twilight said quietly.
“No.” Maud stated. “No, it’s not.”
“Maud, look around you!” Twilight cried, gesturing. Thorax and the changelings had gathered around the pit, singing a chant as the pulsing veins of omnus glowed brighter and brighter. “The world is literally ending! Omnus is back at full power!”
“Exactly.” Maud stated. “He’s full to the brim with power. We need to give him more.”
“More power, what?! What are you saying, Maud?!” Pinkie cried.
“it’s a bucket of water.” Maud stated. “We’ve filled it up with power, but if we can feed him even more power…”
“…The bucket will overflow!” Twilight finished. “But how do you know that will work?!”
“I don’t.” Maud said simply. “Just a hunch, I guess.”
Twilight thought about Pinkie’s hunches, and how they were always eerily correct. “Well, how do we feed him more power? Fire magic at him?”
“No, that would take too long. We need a massive surge of power.”
“How?” Twilight cried, exasperated.
“I’ll feed myself to him. Forcefully.”
Twilight paused. “Maud… you’ll die.”
“But ponykind will live. Pinkie will live.” Maud said simply.
“Maud, you can’t!” Pinkie said, her eyes welling up with tears. “I won’t let you!”
“We don’t have TIME for this!” Maud said loudly. “Omnus will awaken any second! Get out of here, I’ll do what I can!”
“Maud, you won’t be forgotten for this.” Twilight said, her eyes wet with tears.
“GO!” Maud cried, gripping Pinkie and Twilight and hurling them to the exit of the cavern. Twilight looked back to see Maud flying up to the massive, pulsating orb, which was now glowing almost as brightly as the sun. With mighty hooves, she punched the orb, and burrowed her way into the center – that was the last Twilight saw, the orb sealing itself behind her.
“MAAAUUUDD!” Pinkie screamed, trying to go back, but Twilight gripped her.
“Pinkie we have to go! NOW!” Twilight cried. She felt a massive influx of magic as Omnus overloaded, and felt his power weaken; her horn lit up, and she teleported away, just as Omnus died.
XXXXXXXX
The duo reappeared in a flash on the desert sands, at the base of the volcano. Pinkie immediately broke down, bawling her eyes out, her hair straight as a razor. Twilight lifted a wing over her in a comforting gesture.
“KRA-KOOMM!!”
“Oh for PETE’S sake!” Twilight cried, as above her, the peak of the volcano exploded, a massive amount of lava falling from the sky.
“Oh, yes, I almost forgot fiction rule #114,” Pinkie sniffed, “’if there is a volcano in the story, it is mandatory that it must erupt.' It’s right after the rule that 'if there’s a character traveling down a river, they must go over a waterfall.'”
“What?! Look, we don’t have time for this!” Twilight cried. “RUN!”
“But Twilight-“
“Run, Pinkie!” Twilight cried, as she sprinted away, lava and chunks of rock beginning to crash into the sand around them.
“But you can fly… and teleport…” Pinkie trailed off. “Wow. For a super genius, Twilight can be pretty dim sometimes.”
XXXXXXXX
The two continued to flee until the raining rubble stopped falling around them. They stopped and turned to see lava flowing down the mountain. From even this distance, they could feel the intense heat.
“Maud…” Pinkie said quietly.
Then there was another burst of lava, and Twilight saw something. It was probably her imagination, but it persisted. Twilight cast a vision enhancing spell, and her sight zoomed in a hundredfold. There, on that large slab of rock sailing down the magma flow… could it be?
“MAUD!” Pinkie screamed, her hair poofing out as she saw her sister coming down the rock flow.
It was indeed Maud, somehow alive, surfing down the lava flow on a chunk of rock like a surfer on an ocean wave. Twilight would expect that Maud show some emotion – thrill of being alive, excitement at the incredible ride.
But of course not; Maud just stood there on the rock chunk, like she was standing in a field on a calm summer day. Even as the fast-flowing rock hit an outcrop and launched into the air, Maud didn’t even blink.
SMASH!
Twilight and Pinkie jumped as the rock slab smashed into the sand right next to them. Maud stepped off, as casually as if she was steping off a taxi, and brushed a speck of dust off her shoulder. “Hello.” She said.
“OhmigoshMaudyou’reALIVE!” Pinkie said, rushing forward and hugging her sister, sobbing, her tears soaking into Maud’s frock. Maud reached a hoof over Pinkie’s shoulder, stroking Pinkie’s withers.
“Maud – how are you alive?!” Twilight cried, astonished. “And what-“ she gasped. “where’s your horn?!”
Maud reached up to feel the top of her head. “It’s no longer there.” She said, and sure enough, her head was simply covered in light-purple hair, with no hint that a horn had even been there. Maud looked over her shoulder to see the sides of her frock. “My wings are gone, too.” She turned back to Twilight. “How.” She said simply.
“I think, maybe… you sacrificed all your alicorn power to Omnus in order to make him overload!” Twilight cried. “Maud, you’re an earth pony again!”
“I’m…” Maud paused. “I’m normal.” And, to Twilight’s astonishment, Maud’s face slowly started to lift in a smile. “I’m normal, I’m normal, I’m back to normal!” She cried in a voice almost alien it was so happy, and her face bore the largest grin Twilight had ever seen from Maud.
And then, like a jackalope or a UFO, it was gone in a flash. “Let’s go home. I want to get back to my rock studies.” Maud said in her normal monotone, as she began to trot in the opposite direction of the volcano. She carried Pinkie on her back, who continued to hug Maud like a large pink leech.
Twilight stared after her traveling companions, before laughing and shaking her head. “She’s back to normal, all right.” Twilight said, happily trotting after her friends.
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:/ It feels like such a copout.
Wow, racist
THERE MUST BE A SEQUEL!
5674298 Come on, don't be ridiculous. Odds of a sequel are a million to one.
Currently trying to think of another story I can do. Other ponies would be nice.
5674321
5674321
Impossibility itself is highly improbable of its own existence.
Million to one odds are still good odds!
5674011 ever heard the phrase "50 gambit pileup"?
This was a "50 cliche pileup". I've got mixed feelings about it.
Whoo hoo! Yeah! You go, Maud! The part where Maud sacrificed her alicorn powers to destroy Omnus reminds me of a scene in a Magic: The Gathering novel where a planeswalker sacrificed his planeswalker powers to restore a continent as soon as it started to phase in.
Also, have a happy Maud vector I found on Deviantart:
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_01_2015/post-30335-0-98403600-1422658287.png
After reading this, I can't get the image of Maud surfing down a river of lava on a rock out of my head!
SOMEBODY MAKE A FANART OF THAT!
5674540
derpicdn.net/img/2014/9/1/713145/large.jpeg
5674665 ... did you do this? is it made specifically for the story or is it random art? Because if it is for the story I'm incredibly flattered, and even if it isn't, good work finding it!
5674665 Pretty. Freaking. SWEET.
5674682 Unfortunately my drawing skills are comparable to those of a T-rex. I was just curious to see if searching 'lava surfing maud pie' there were results. Once again, Internet surprised me...
Hang ten Maud
5674682
Here's the source:
http://cazra.deviantart.com/art/Maud-lava-surfing-479685014
https://derpibooru.org/713145
Good
It seems for a while that Pinkie Pie had forgotten the rule about the hero(es) of the story: heroes of a story don't die, they just get really big boo-boos.
At any rate, noting the story hadn't been marked complete, I was about to ask if there was going to be a clean-up chapter, that is a chapter telling about how things would go back to as close to normal as possible. But, I'm guessing that's what the epilogue is for.
5674321
Scientists have calculated that the chance of anything so patently absurd actually happening are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.
An enjoyable chapter, I liked.
Surprised you didn't have Twilight get a little singed from that, as you know -- lava.
You could say the outcome has been...
Maudified.
5675647 hHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Pinkie... That depends on the genre. And you are darn lucky that this isn't one of the ones were saying that something bad won't happen guarantees it.
5676289
Believe in me, who believes in you.
5676654
That was one of the ones that came to mind for me, too.
5676654
5677195
Hey. Come on. Low blow, I didn't need to cry today.
Just for that, take this! :|
Didn't like the last few chapters , felt like a lazy arbitrarly easy return to the status quo.
But still overall a fun , funny, & occasionally laugh out loud story.
Oh he's goood.
Yep.
Yep.
5675647
Corner. Now.
Twillight couldn't teleport. The teleportation was cut off in that area, wasn't it?
I am confused as to why Twilight is relieved that Maud is no longer a princess...
I know from experience that more people in the higher ranks, the less paperwork each of them has to do. And also, wouldn't they want to have someone to talk to?
Either way, good story, but I liked maud better as an alicorn.
Oh wow, this NEEDS a reading, simply because Maud... Maud's monotone voice in all of that- oh wow that would be even more hilarious. I have a hard time constantly imagining her just... sitting there... speaking in her voice when I'm reading the story. Some art and a reading to go along, and this would be even more amazing! Even though it already is; I LOVE Maud as a character and there's not to many fics written about her... :(
Fiction rule #Idontevenknow: It's not ogre, it's never ogre.
Incidentally, when you heat up diamond enough, it does not melt. It ignites.
In honor of this fic, here's Maud Pie in SSB.
i.imgur.com/Erne7Aj.jpg?2
Awesome chapter!
Hehehehe, surfing Lava, and Maud was happy! :D haha, nice!
5674781 Wouldn't it be more like, hang two?
Initially I was really confused as to why Thorax was the bad guy in this AU. Then I realized this story was written a year before Thorax debuted and the name was coincidence.