“ALL HAIL PRINCESS MAUD!”
A loud chant of this roared from the crowd gathered in front of Canterlot Castle. The chant turned into a screaming cheer when the giant castle doors opened. On a chariot carved from finest stone, sat Maud. She wore a dress which barely looked any different from her regular frock: the only difference was that there were frills at the bottom. She also wore a slate-grey tiara, with an amethyst embedded in its center.
She gazed out at the crowd with an emotionless expression. She looked idly up at the banner above her head, which bore her emotionless face. (The painters for the banner couldn’t get her to pose in a smile.)
Nearby, in a booth above the rest of the crowd, six mares watched the parade. Unlike the crowd, out of these six mares, only one was waving.
“HI MAUD! HI! IT’S ME! PINKIE! LOOK UP AT ME!” Pinkie screamed from the booth.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Fluttershy asked the other occupants of the booth. “She seemed awfully reluctant to become an official princess."
Rainbow Dash snorted. “You could tell? She could be excited, miserable and enraged all at once, and nobody but Pinkie would ever know! Besides, ponies would have found out eventually anyways.”
“I’m worried about Maud.” Twilight said with a frown. “Being a princess can be incredibly stressful. I just hope she’s up for the challenge.”
“Darling, she blasted her way through several tons of rock. I think she can handle a stack of paperwork.” Rarity said, patting Twilight on the back.
“What I can’t handle is this blasted dress! Thing’s so itchy it’s like a porcupine’s dancin’ in it!” Applejack growled, scratching furiously at the dress Rarity had made her for the occasion.
Meanwhile, Pinkie quieted down. “I don’t think she can hear me…” she said miserably, watching the slow chariot travel down the road. Then she came up with a bright idea. She pulled a megaphone out of her fancy hat, and switched it on. Then she screamed into the megaphone, “MAUD! IT’S PINKIE! LOOK UP AND WAVE AT ME!”
XXXXXXXX
Meanwhile, in Saddle Arabia, a horse sat up straight, and prodded his ear with a hoof. “العسل، هل سمعت شيئا؟” he called over to his wife.
“انها على الارجح مجرد خيالك، عزيز.” His wife replied. The horse shrugged, and looked back to his newspaper. He could have sworn he heard a voice…
XXXXXXXX
Maud looked up to where the deafening screech had come from. She raised a hoof and waved lightly.
Pinkie squealed. “Did you girls see that?! She waved at me!” she squeaked to her friends.
“WHAT?!” Applejack yelled over.
XXXXXXXX
As the parade continued, Maud looked around at her new subjects. Ponies young, old, male and female were waving and cheering for her.
“Pwincess Maud?” came a voice, and Maud looked down to see a small filly with a paper and quill in her mouth. “Can I have yo’ autogwaph?” The filly mumbled around the objects in her mouth.
Wordlessly, Maud took the paper and quill, and wrote her name in blocky print. Then she hoofed it back. “Thanksh!” The filly cheered before rushing back to her mother.
Still expressionless, Maud looked to her other side. Then she noticed something. In the back of the crowd, a shadowy figure. Maud squinted her eyes for a bit of a better view. As she looked, she saw the mysterious mare reach into another pony’s purse with a hoof, subtly pull out a glinting piece of jewelery, and stow it away into her saddlebags. This all happened in barely a second, and the mare who had been pickpocketed was none the wiser.
Without warning, Princess Maud leaped off of the chariot. Cries came from the crowd as the princess glided over them on her wings, and right into the thief, tackling her.
“PRINCESS!” a pegasus guard cried, darting down. “Are you all right?!”
Then the guard saw that Maud held down a small, brown-coated mare, under her hooves. “This mare has been stealing from others.” Maud said simply. She then reached into the mare’s saddlebag and pulled out the necklace she had seen moments ago. She held it out to the mare who had been stolen from. “Is this yours?” she asked.
The victim nodded, her eyes welling with tears. “That’s my grandmother’s necklace! I don’t know what I’d do without it! Thank you, THANK YOU, Princess Pie!”
“My name is Maud.” Maud stated blandly as she handed back the necklace. Then she looked to the guard. “Hold her down and bring her into custody.”
“Yes, ma’am!” The guard said, taking Maud’s place and pinning the pickpocket to the ground.
Maud trotted back to her chariot, and noticed that the crowd had gone silent. Only as she reached the chariot and crawled back on did the crowd’s cheers start up again, a dozen times louder than before. Maud remained expressionless as the chariot rolled on.
XXXXXXXX
“Your majesty?” came a voice as Maud stepped off of the chariot at the end of the parade.
Maud looked around the palace garage before she spotted the one who had spoken. It was a pink mare with glasses and a messy blonde mane, who trotted over, grinning. “I’m Word Twirl.” The mare said quickly, holding out her hoof. Emotionlessly, Maud shook it very briefly.
“I’m your PR manager.” Word Twirl said. Maud looked blank, as she always did. “Public Relations, that is.” Word Twirl said, chuckling nervously.
“Go on.” Maud said simply, as she walked off.
“Well, as you know, I’m the one who manages your public image,” Word Twirl said quickly, walking alongside Maud. “and I must say, that little stunt you pulled out there with the thief? That was GOLD. Pure, unadulterated PR gold. The public’s gonna LOVE you for this – your approval ratings are going to SKYROCKET!”
“That’s nice.” Maud said, entering a hallway of the castle. Word Twirl followed her, still chatting.
“I mean it, a few more stunts like that and you’ll be locked for LIFE! I mean, even now, the public wants Maud Pie t-shirts, Maud Pie coffee mugs, Maud Pie hats, Maud Pie mane dye, Maud Pie lunchboxes – I even have a prototype of the in-development ‘Hug-me-Maud’ plushie!” Word Twirl pulled out a plushie, which Maud looked at. It wore a wide grin, and its stubby little plush arms were open invitingly.
“When you press its cutie mark, it’s talks!” Word Twirl chirped, poking a button on mini-Maud’s flank with her hoof.
A high-pitched recorded voice which sounded nothing like Maud squealed out, “Let’s go to the gala!”
Maud stopped walking, and Word Twist stopped with her, eagerly awaiting Maud’s response. Finally, Maud simply stated, “Rocks.”
“Your majesty?” Word Twist asked, smile dimming just a bit.
“Have it list the different types of rocks. Igneous, metamorphic, sedimentary. Have it talk about what differentiates them from each other, too.” Maud said, still emotionless, as she began walking again.
Word Twirl’s smile returned in full force. “Oh, an educational toy! Brilliant, your majesty, BRILLIANT! That’ll boost your public image even further! The new lines will be recorded-”
“It’s too expressive.” Maud continued onward, not reacting to Word Twirl. “Make its voice like mine.”
“Um… yes, your majesty.” Word Twirl said, nodding. “As soon as possible. In any case, I should also inform you that in an hour, there is a royal luncheon going on. You should go there – it’s being held specifically for you.”
“Will there be rocks?”
“I – I’m sorry?”
“The luncheon. Will they be serving rocks.” Maud stated, turning her head to Word Twirl.
Word Twirl’s face grew confused, if only for a second, before returning to its enormous smile. “Well, it wasn’t scheduled… but if you wish it, princess, it shall be so! We shall find the finest rocks in all the land! Only the best for your consumpt-“
“That won’t be necessary.” Maud said, looking forward again. “Just any rocks will do. I saw some nice pieces of granite out in the front courtyard.”
“Um… yes, your majesty. I’ll get right on that.” Word Twirl said, nodding before rushing off. Maud just plodded onwards, stoic and silent as ever.
I. Am. LOVING THIS!
Oh my bucking Celestia! Princess Maud actually has a purpose!!! *sqqquuuueeeees*
That part where she takes down the necklace-steely-pony. I wonder how popular Maud will become.
Well i wonder how well the luncheon will go when they bring out the servings of delicious granite
I like it.
...Why is Spike chasing after Rarity? Maud is perfect for him!
I love it when google translate when it misses the mark entirely
5121592 Do you know what it translates into then?
5121253 New Crackship approved. I shall put Spaud next to Cocobra.
p.s. It feels nice to be the 250th like. It makes me feel special and tingly inside. Oh wait... That's just my bladder. Nevermind. False alarm. Sorry, author.
5121592 You could at least be helpful :P
يا حبيبتي, هل سمعت شيئا ؟ Did you hear something, honey?
هو فقط خيالك يا حبيبي. It's just your imagination, dear.
Not 100% on the second one - not sure if that's a proper idiom in Arabic the same way it is in English and frankly I'm rusty here - but the first one's fine. Good luck getting it to format properly if you want to edit it in, text boxes have no idea how to deal with Arabic type.
5121592
I agree with 5125707, but at least Google Translate is better than Bablefish . And what does it translate into?
Lol. Now I wonder why the Saddle Arabian pony is talking to a pot of honey.
This is pretty good so far.
I wonder if a super-villain is going to come out of nowhere and kidnap all of the princesses including Maud.... That would be pretty funny as a "part of an average day of an alicorn" sort of joke.
Good job.
I want one!
but it must have Maud's voice. not the typical annoying-cutesy.
-
Could you imagine if Chrysalis tried to take over if Maud was getting married instead of Cadence?
"Your kingdom will be mine!"
"...."
?
"You know what's good for squishing a cockroach?"
? *confused blink*
"Rocks." *Bucks the wall behind her and parts of the ceiling cave in, crushing ONLY the Changelings in the room. Meanwhile, the Changelings outside clutch at their heads and scream in agony as their queen dies in a horrible, crunchy manner.*
"Can I get married now?"
I just started reading this story is twilight sparkel a princess or not in this story just asking.
I'm on a tablet, so the arabic is just a bunch of rectangles. Somehow, that makes it funnier.
wait, so something I'm unclear on: is twilight still a princess in this story? the events you mention take place after twilight becomes an alicorn, but I wasn't sure if Maud activated the spell a second time or just got the powers instead of twilight.
Okay. That part where Word Twirl mentioned about the Maud Pie merchandises and the Hug-Me-Maud toy made me burst out laughing.
I'm gonna be lying down on my bed in stitches before continuing on the next chapter. Chapter 2 was so freaking hilarious!
Aloof people tend to attract people.
People like to torture themselves.
Maud shall learn something important.
Very important.
Hell is other people, or in this case, ponies.
I sense that this luncheon is going to rock.
5228081 in the description it said equestria's 5th princess so that would be 1celestia, 2luna, 3cadence, 4twilight, and 5maud
The thing about Princess Maud and rocks
Is that if you flipped it around, I think Maud could be the most EVIL pony ever to live, like worse than Sombra, and it wouldn't matter because after she conquers Equestria all she would still be concerned with would be rocks.
I want to hug Maud XD she's hilarious!
Though... I think with her strength she'd snap my back Dx
Nnice job!
I really want a Maud plushie
6309051
Or it could be the secret to Pinkie Pie's elasticity. So a hug might give you some Pinkie Powers.
Maud would look beautiful as a princess.
So did the autograph filly climb onto the chariot while it was moving, without any guards noticing, to get that autograph?