How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I cannot fully express my enthusiasm with emoticons. I really like this story; pull it off, and you just might be one of the only people to get a follow from me with a single story.
This is... Stupid good. Like, the entire story.
Honestly, the only thing I think may have improved this chapter is if Bucky actually got frustrated with her high and mighty sunbutt-ness and actually made her understand HIS perspective, and that she'd spent years convincing him he was useless.
I think i am not able to write like this in english, but i am everytime amazed how good you seems to be at your storys.
I mean you have probably considered the whole story or at least chapter for chapter to make it that good.
I cannot say how good it really is, because i am not that good with english grammar but i think you really write some of the best storys.
I wonder a bit why Celestia seems to know that there are something like a little bit love between Derpy and him.
I hope you make Derpy a bit clumsy, Derpy is just really cute if she is that way.
This pleases me,
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Not really love, but friendly interest.
Celestia understands how the flock works. She's had a few thousand years to study them.
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He's too neurotic to even attempt that. Plus, he realises that Celestia has been trying to help him. Sort of like when Derpy tried to fly away with him to gain his trust, but he thought Derpy might be attempting to kill him.
There will be more exchanges later between Bucky and Celestia... And eventually an exchange between Bucky, Celestia, Derpy, and Berry Punch.
Keep track, that is four different types ponies in a room.
4304852 That's very true :p.
And I can't wait for that one, haha.
Is Spike being counted as one of the six friends? If not, I think you meant 5 friends.
Anyway, I find the perspective of the tribes interesting, mostly because you made them by taking the personalities of the Mane6 and extrapolated them to fit the rest of ponies. This is most easily seen in the unicorns of your when compared Twilight, and even Rarity to a degree. Though, normally I would say such assumptions made on so little evidence would be bad, but this is funny and entertaining enough to look over so far.
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I included poor Spike.
I mean, he got a ticket too!
And yet another pony's perception of Celestia is shattered by the mare herself.
Now time for some Derpy wooing. Bucky, flick you tail over her muzzle, snoot bump her, and run like a manticore wants you to have its cubs.
I am definitely in favor of friendship reports by characters outside the Mane 6 (and Spike).
I don't think I've ever seen the differences between the pony sub-races explored in quite a way, and it all makes great sense.
The story continues to be awesome, but I can't help but wonder how unicorns ever managed to even survive this long. Between the neurosis-glorifying culture and the social pressure from the other tribes, it seems like they should've either been more integrated into society or gone horribly, nonfunctionally mad centuries ago. That, or at least one generation would've tried to have been better parents than their own. The whole situation seems unsustainable.
I suppose that means you've done a good job of capturing an inhuman mindset. I look forward to more.
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Reread the unicorn bits.
There are unicorn families, even loving unicorn families. Good high functioning unicorns.
But typically, the exceptionally talented unicorns tend to be neurotic. And for good reason. Imagine having the magical talents to completely obliterate a town or village and then not having the self control to hold everything back in.
The unicorn neurosis isn't a survival method for the unicorns, but for the other ponies. Unicorns must repress everything so they don't have magical emotional outbursts.
So to summarise, the more magic a unicorn possesses, there is a condition of neurosis equal to their power.
Common unicorns wouldn't be greatly affected, living among the other ponies, still mostly functional, with the occasional quirk or eccentricity, mostly well adjusted and well adapted members of society, Look at Dinky and Sparkler... They are not particularly magical and are mostly alright, but Sparkler does show some troubling signs of neurosis, self doubt, and some other issues.
And, something to think about, Bucky has a massive inferiourity complex. He thinks his magical abilities are average.
4305203
Oh? Oh! Oh.
My bad.
4305203 That's good to know. Right now the story seems to have shifted from giving a balanced perspective of the culture of each tribe, to "unicorns suck." Will there be any positive examples of a pure unicorn family/unicorn culture in the future? Also, I would love to hear DT trying to justify her actions vie earth pony culture.
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We already see an example of some well adjusted and mostly happy unicorns.
Who and what do you think Dinky and Sparkler are?
Let's see... Unicorns from the show that are well balanced happy family sorts I can toss into the story... <---- This one? Eenope. <---- This one? Eenope.
If I do include more unicorn perspective, it will probably be Lyra, I have a few ideas I'm juggling but I am not 100% settled on any one idea.
I can just see him reading those reports and going "I have to fight a dragon? And defeat Discord? Wow, friendship must be on the advanced syllabus."
I see nothing unfortunate about this, as this is the first story of yours to attract my interest. Plus, I love longer stories.
The different issues and social tendencies of the various tribes is very interesting. Sounds like outside of small towns like Ponyville the races don't try to interact too much. Earth ponies sub-conciously moving to the side of town with mostly other Earth ponies, things like that. The unicorn's issues are the most interesting. Perhaps because we mostly see the issue from those going into Celestia's school for the gifted.
I will admit though that your explanation in the comments is a bit confusing on unicorns. So 'common' average powered unicorns only develop slight neurosis's, where the more magic you have, the more problems you develop. And this isn't a societal issue, its just a mental one that develops? With Bucky it sounds more like it is because of how he was raised..or not raised, than his own brain going against him.
I also can't count Dinky and Sparkler as 'common' unicorns. They were raised mostly by Pegasus so they didn't grow up at all within Unicorn society unlike most Unicorns. Plus Sparkler's parents are dead and that can make all kinda of neurosis come up without being a unicorn.
However, the common thought from other races is that Unicorns are snobs, so unicorn society in general raises them to act more aloof and unattached to others in practice. This sounds like its to prepare them in case they develop high level magic. I assume that high magic parents are thus uninterested in their children and so the cycle continues even if the unicorn foal isn't that magically gifted.
Plus you also mentioned earlier on in this story that Unicorns are often raised at institutions and not with or by their parents.So one big question comes to mind for me before I continue my wandering rambles. Is the earlier chapter that explained about the normal unicorn lifestyles just Bucky's perspective or how the society actually is? If it's just Bucky's, then hard to analyze since its all just his own opinion because of how he was raised.
I guess that same question goes to the explanations on the Pegasi, was that just Derpy's perspective?
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I can answer your question in a small way using a quote.
Seems true, correct? I mean, we hear anecdotal evidence all the time supporting this evidence.
So, how do we define Asian? What is an Asian?
Obviously anybody from China and Japan, right?
Well, technically, a person born in Israel is an Asian, but then again so is a person born in Turkey, or Eastern Russia, or somebody born in India. All those people in the middle east are Asians.
But wait, aren't Asians from China and Japan, have dark hair, and epicanthal folds? What about rice? What about all of the other societal imposed views on what an Asian is...
Well, yes, but those Asians are the minority actually. Most Asians actually have caucasoid features.
If something seems too simple, it is probably because you aren't paying attention. If something seems contradictory and complex, it means that you have been paying attention.
Unicorns are snobs.
Pegasi are brutes.
Earth ponies are numbskulls.
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Hmm..I get what you're saying, though admittedly Equestria is much easier to label in. Barring mutation and limb loss; All unicorns have horns, all Pegasi have wings, and all Earth ponies have neither.
While no race is completely similar and easily explained, there are similarities and traits that become stereotypes because of how ingrained they are. Americans are educated for example. Which, on a whole, is true. Each community has a school system you are required to send your child to, unless you are home schooling. It's just easily assumed that an American can read and write with some proficiency, and have had some basic education because that is part of American Society.
With unicorns, it was explained that the most common towns/villages send their foals off to institutes like boarding schools to teach them as they grow up. If this is the system that unicorn villages go with, then it is understandable for the majority of them not to be as attached to their family. There may be some exceptions, say if a Unicorn family decides to home-school their foals, but the vast majority send them to these institutes. To do neither ruins the foals future chances on jobs and careers, at least by Unicorn society's viewpoint in this.
Mind you I'm going by the assumption that it wasn't Bucky's viewpoint on how Unicorn society works, but that this is the normal operation of a unicorn-centric town.
So I'd say your explanation of Asians was a little too broad for me. Its the difference between saying 'All Asians are smart' to 'All Japanese eat rice". Your version would be me saying 'All ponies read well' as opposed to 'all pegasus like to fly'. Sure there may be the say 5% of japanese who never ate rice out there, or the 5% of Pegasus who dislike flying, but its a fair assumption to make most of the time.
I'm assuming this version of Equestria does not have all towns/villages going by their own rules and acting as their own little countries as opposed to being one Equestrian nation under a single government. If they do, then yeah I could see one Unicorn city over another Unicorn city trying to carve out their own personal identity, but if they just think of themselves as one nation, then I would just see sub-cultures cropping up.
So, with all that rambling aside, it comes back to my curiosity on Unicorn neurosis and mental issues. Is it because of their power or their upbringing that causes them to occur? If it is upbringing, then there would logically be a standard of upbringing most Unicorns are raised by that makes it so common of an issue for these neurosis's to occur. If it is power, then it's just a genetic problem that Celestia couldn't really help with besides finding cures anyhoo.
Sparkler's and Bucky's issues to me seem to be upbringing/bad events in their lives and not power. Unless somehow the stronger a unicorn's magic is, the more the world just wants them dead or to suffer. "With great power comes really bad luck".
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Painting in broad strokes was my intention.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else- Discordian proverb.
It really does come down to nature vs nurture, doesn't it?
Without trying to reveal too much, part of it is genetics, part of it is nurture. High magic unicorns tend to come from other high magic unicorns. Bucky is the product of his parents. Both are gifted, powerful, have strong magic, and have had it deeply instilled into themselves that they must repress everything to keep other ponies around them safe.
Bucky also represses.
Low magic unicorns, the ones who can barely lift a quill or turn the page in a book are not very threatening to the ponies around them and as such, don't receive the sort of conditioning that a high magic unicorn might receive. They learn a spell or two, usually adaptive to their talents, life goes on with spot on the wall variety magic.
Now, what if a high magic unicorn was born to low magic parents?
"Woah, hello, we cannot control this little monster, he has reached his mischievous stage and is wrecking everything in sight, setting stuff on fire, he turned his harmless sweet little sister into a statue, and keeps turning the toilet bowl water into chocolate pudding to scare his mother!"
So, the low magic parents, unable to control this dangerous and unpredictable level of magic, ship said foal off to a unicorn founded institution, which may or may not be Celestia's school. One of two things happen. At a more common school for unicorns, the foal is subjected to psychological conditioning to repress everything and keep its crap together, keeping other ponies safe. Or, if it is lucky, it goes to Celestia's school that is aware of these problems, avoids painful psychological conditioning, receives proper nurturing psychological conditioning, and becomes one of the rare high functioning high magic unicorns that doesn't have a plethora of mental issues so common to most.
I've really had to construct a complex headcannon for this story.
The mischievous stage is pretty much an evolutionary adaptation for unicorns, a stage where the foal's raw abilities can be viewed and parents can make a decision that keeps their fellow ponies safe. Think of it as magical potty training. Only Bucky is so anally retentive that he was obviously potty trained at gunpoint.
Dinky is going to reach a very difficult mischievous stage triggered by Diamond Tiara's constant teasing.
and there is the alternate title for this entire story.
My one suggestion that hasn't already been made is to have a little subversion.
By that I mean: have a few things where the three tribe do share the same point of view. It makes it hard to think that these three tribes would ever have anything to do with each other if they seem to have nothing in common in terms of viewpoints. An occasional reminder that they can agree on things mutually may help drive home the idea of 'community?'.
I do understand that the story is about misunderstands of perspectives, and I am not asking you to change that. Heavens no. But perhaps a moment of natural agreement once and awhile to act as a joke or a point of juxtaposition would be nice.
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Heh, I assumed so, while I wouldn't dig deep into the psychological in a story too often, this fic just feels like you put deep thought into the society before writing it. Always love the fics that show the different viewpoints and lifestyles each of the three types are used to living
Quite curious to see more of Derpy and Bucky interacting. Really, that is the main draw for me as the two of them show the differences in action instead of monologue, and, they are the center of the supposed love story that I am here to read about.
This is strange and vastly different from what I usually see around here... in a good way though. I'll fave and see where you take us.
You've clearly put a lot of thought into your headcanon and your effort is reflected by the beauty of the story. Sure, it's not the most sophisticated I've ever read and contains a few errors here and there but it's got a certain charm that makes me want more. Bravo, sir.
i started reading this story when it first came out then for some reason i thought it was finished, now im back and there is alot more chapters... AWESOME
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Pinkie has headcannons, too!
Seven chapters in and I am Inthraled!
I've never seen a pony story with so much racism behind it, and yet i find it believable and for lack of a better word, fresh. Already enjoying the hell out of this and now it is officially committed to my favorites list.
Though my favorites list has suddenly doubled to over 175 unread chapters.
God help me...
getting the idea that something went a bit wrong early in equestria's past that allowed a abnormally stiff social divide compared to what we see in the show.
think i feel some similarity to how we both think. though while you focus on the mind and interactions i find myself focusing on the body of the ponies, what could allow them to look like they do and mvoe like they do and what magic could allow them to do that something more normal cannot. and thus the bodies and abilities of other things in equestria as well. even went as far as to make a mental sketch of what a gryphon skull would be like and hat it somewhat similar to a triceratops though with teeth more for meat that plants.
4757894 There is a massive difference between cultural clashes and racism. Racism is "I am superior to black people." Cultural Clash is "I legitimately cannot understand a word this black person is saying (Black English Vernacular) and their focus on materialistic goods (gold teeth, nice cars and expensive clothes while simultaneously living paycheck to paycheck) makes me uncomfortable."
One is hate, one is discomfort caused by a lack of common ground.
5076543 Brilliantly worded. Well done. some people are only viewing this story as racism. idiots.
Heh, i really want to put this story in favorite but i still have a few hundred chapters to go and i don't want to mistaking new updates with unread chapters.
This isn't the best I have read, but the hook did its job, now to reel in.
Lordy lordy there is way too much going onin the comments, and I've barely made a scratch on this story...
I cannot keep up with these debates! D:
...
Nice job.
I've only just started chewing on this monster of a story, and already I'm enjoying it.
The writing is only mediocre, and at some points it feels as though you're using the characters as mouthpieces for your philosophy. (Not that I don't still enjoy it - I love having my own philosophies and comparing and discussing them with others.)
I'll admit, it's a bit of a jarring transition from the canon universe to the way pony types are depicted in this story, but I just consider it an AU story and ignore that.
Though your characters don't really seem to have voices of their own in terms of dialogue and thoughtspeak, you've done a very good job with the different perspective. each perspective feels distinct, and none of them are straw mares inserted just to make a point or provide conflict.
That said, the personalities of the races are put in kind of ham-fistedly: at a certain point, it feels a bit like we're getting beat over the head with it. I think the main problem is that it's stated directly too often by the text itself- that is, rather than having the characters discuss it (like the scenes with derpy, cheerilee, and celestia, which I liked) or having it simply exist in background and be apparent through implication, it is flat out stated (or very nearly) THIS IS HOW IT IS.
Anyways, creative criticism aside, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this titanic fic.
Befor I had a profile i reed this up to say chapter 374 or 5 and the that and then this page and all of the other pages on this I pad got deleted and I fergot about it for a yaer now look at it
Seriously?
6763596 Seriously
6769701 seriously, that picture is creepy .
I see your large story and feel a few things; excited, worried, but more than the other two i feel happy. I love long stories and this one is proving to be a great one. My unread chapter number is going to explode, but this is quickly turning out to be one of the best stories i'v had the pleasure of reading.
>Is now the longest story on Fimfiction, beating out Diaries of a Madman.
Welp, time to get started.
But... Didn't Rainbow get her ass kinda beat later on because she WASN'T being a good pegasus?
Even tho i still am just starting with the story if what i can tell from the art what the ever living buck does he go through yoyu sp have my interest
They will show you the way young padowan
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Seriously?
man what i'm I doing? over 900 chapters!
8354932
Do it
Wait.. what? There's a spell for that? Huh... neat.
8445933
Why did i get a bunch of flash backs from different dorkly animations