How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5265783
Blood, semen, synovial fluid, saliva, and mucus are all super-fluids in the human body. And something else, something important, but I can't think of what it is. Only exists in human females, and it helps to protect the eggs from dangerous shockwaves rippling through the human body that would render them barren.
Basically, the harder a shockwave hits this fluid, the thicker it becomes to absorb the energy, preserving the egg and keeping them from bursting or being damaged. Pretty amazing stuff, defies physics and allows us to keep cranking out the monkey spawn to ruin the planet.
This whole chapter my mind was screaming "Twilight and Flash are so about to get married" until the end when it was confirmed.
5265849
The Dark Lord of Winter has willing accomplices.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130405221911/mlp/images/e/e1/FANMADE_Luna_I_see_what_you_did_there.jpg
Think that's meant to be Spanner here
Oh yeah, we do.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/10/18/745433/large.png
5265833
Is it bad that my first reaction to this post was 'semen shock absorbers'?
MWAhuhaUhauhaUaHUHAuhaUahUhUaHUHAUhaUHAUAHaAaHuaHaUHaUHauiuaUHASUHUAHUHAUAH !!!!!
(That is, actually, a pretty good portrait of my devilish cackle at the end of this chapter...good thing my boss usually is not at the office.)
5265864
If sperm didn't have super-fluid protection, the act of ejaculation would cause them to explode.
So just think. Every time you blow your load, you are in your own special way defying the natural order and bending the rules of physics ever so slightly.
I pray that Berry Punch and Agnetha NEVER get together to conspire together on manipulating others. The world is just not ready for that level of manipulation. I doubt even Comsicorn could handle it.
5265873
Celestia now has competition.
You motherfucker... you know what you did.
5265914
What did I do?
So... yeah, can we have a chapter focusing on spanner and lugnut? Maybe? Huh, just a pony show? Alright. :(
5265922 I. Hate. Puns.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/8/19/702904__safe_meme_exploitable+meme_equestria+girls_reaction+image_rainbow+rocks_spoiler-colon-rainbow+rocks_gritted+teeth_metal+gear_expand+dong.png
5265928
There will be fabulous hijinks over time involving Rarity and Rising Star.
5265930
U mad?
oh boy, celestia is not gonna be handle this. first they obliterate the gryphons, then it is clear that bucky never became an alicorn, and now she is gonna get the punch to the gut that is both her student getting married behind her back and the mane six getting very hurt....... she is not gonna be happy.
5265934 I'm only mad because I laughed. I get extremely angry when I laugh at jokes I don't want to laugh at.
5265930
I hope you like dirt, because I have a feeling you're in for some real grime and pun-ishment.
5265942 derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/14/626331__safe_solo_applejack_meme_exploitable+meme_text_frown_mud_fall+weather+friends_expand+dong.png
5265937 Tough shit, she was the one that sent them there with him. Did she really think they'd escape unscathed?
5265937
If Celestia didn't want to share her authority, she shouldn't have made other ponies member of the royal family. Sooner or later, they were bound to assert their own authority.
5265937
Except she had no problem with them being hurt. She likely wouldn't have had a problem as long as all of them but Twilight being dead as it could have triggered Bucky's Ascension.
5265948
The worst injury in the whole trip, the one that pushes Celestia over the edge?
Twilight's busted hymen.
5265950 she could probably take the hwole marriage thing, if not for alll the other things. especially when she realizes twilight took a large part in the destruction there.
5265465
Ok, license for shagging then. Because do it wrong - and you'll seriously harm yourself and your mate, and may even die.
5265948 she probably thought that bucky would have protected them by becoming an alicorn there. she was wrong.
5265944
What can I say? I'm rollin' dirty, plus I'm white and nerdy.
5265966 She wanted them to be put in danger/get hurt. Its why she sent them there along with Bucky. To trigger ascension by rage.
5265952 more than likely she thought bucky would protect them, become the alicorn of war. keep them safe.
much like how Saren thought Sovereign would spare those who were useful in a sense.
5265950 ...........wait, what are you talking about? when di i say anything like she wouldn't want her authority shared?
5265977
Which is why they cannonball first and then bite a helpless foe.
5265971 I hope the next sandwich you eat is full of tinfoil
I lost it at that last part. Not a couple though, sorry Rares, you made a sepac-o.
A pair and a high card maybe?
A three?
Trinity?
Triplits?
Trio?
Firstly, great job setting up this moment. Definitely had me making a "...What?" Face.
Secondly,
Your wit should be celebrated as you are drug out into the street and shot.
Thirdly,
5265833
The phrase you are looking for may be non-Newtonian fluid, a fluid that changes it's viscosity (examples include the famous cornstarch and water mixture as demonstrated by the mythbusters).
Lastly, of course we all know what comes next: you set up our expectations like bowling pins so you can knock them over with a bowling ball fired out of a cannon.
5265986
Oh, I was stating the actual issue at hand here. This is the actual problem. I figured I'd just be direct, rather than play around the actual cause.
5265994
Rarity knew what she was doing. No sense spooking poor Twilight. This was PLANNED.
5265960 '...and then he slipped in, his girth parting my...'
(Need a colour for Celestia)'I can't take any more!
i.imgur.com/DuUqu0s.gif
5265960 "how dare she get laid before i do"
* Meanwhile, somewhere in the universe.*
"Doctor, are you alright?"
"Yes, fine, it just feels like someone is being rather punny."
5265960
It's Kinda Unfair that Twilight ain't getting the talk of sex and a book of Sex Magic from Celestia like Bucky did. Maybe someone else will give it to her and Bucky will loan her his book?
5266013
Celestia wrote the book on sex magic.
5263575 by applying pressure to his spinal cord till it interfers with his brain signals and knocks him out. by punching him in the throat. or by striking a pressure point to cause a whole lot of pain before to immobilize him.
his own body would provide the points hwere a thane krios parallel could render him unconscious. pressure points to immobilize him and such. not like, op you paralyzed and your head gonna splode thing, but points that makse his limbs go numb and causes a lot of pain.
you cannot say that they do not have the same physical weak points as other species or that they are more durable. even the Hulk still possess pressure points, which is why captain america, who is not even as physically enhanced as spiderman, can fight him off.
nothing is invulnerable.............. and these lunar pegasi will forever be a soruceo contention for me it seems.
5266033
They can die.
Sentinel's father died.
Moonbow's entire colony nearly died out.
They are mortal.
5266014
I like puns. Puns are cool.
5265996 i was thinking more along the lines of your daughter suddenly getting married under you nose and then piling in the fact she blew up nazi germany and most of her friends got hurt and was not protected by an alicorn of war.
the married thing is the most petty thing to be enraged over. however it is always the most petty thing that iwll set you off once it all gets too much. because it is the petty thing that is the most meaningless at the time and you want it gone.
5266001 Okay, so they're dedicated, obvious in retrospect, it is applerares collab. work.
5265964 Please, enlighten me....when you last heard someone being seriously hurt by shagging (excluding rape) ? When was the last time shagging someone killed a person not involved directly on the act ? Does you seriously comparing shagging with flying ? Pegasus are not airplanes but, even so, they´re fast, big and strong !
I dont know how to be more clear...it´s the same principle of a driver´s license !!! To not know basic driving rules is potentially fatal...but abssence knowledge of basic shagging rules means only you´re not a good lover...worst case scenario you´ll get a sexual diseasse or worse....BECOME A PARENT !!!!
*dramatic music*
...well, considering how gracious my two year daughter is, maybe that is not that bad....sure, she only sleeps in my bed, meaning that i don´t know what sex with my wife is anymore and I don´t know why i´m writing this, and i should just shut up and move on, oh boy, i wanttodie....
Rainbow Dash needs to interrupt at the last moment and request to be added to the proceedings.
Tearfully, and with much begging of Twilight to let her into the relationship. Pegasus-style.
And hugging.
5266004 Oh, by Celestia Balls !!!! Kudzu, you MUST make a Lost Chapter to Twilie´s first night in the form of a friendship report, and send it to Celestia !!! PLEASE, I BEG YOU !!!!
5266072 LISTEN TO THIS MAN!