How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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I´ll repeat my coment in the blog: IMHO, Bucky is being neurotic and silly....I see no problem at all. The "no" question is all ´bout control. To have control over what is being done to you, in other to not trespass some limits. There is "no, don´t rape me" and "no, stop tickling me...but if you do stop I´ll ask for more"...
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP UPDATING! I'M STILL ON CHAPTER 387! PPPPPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
6799259
Sorry folks, no more updates!
Why is there suddenly an angry mob with pitchforks and torches?
I think you did well with this subject, Kudz. It definitely makes a person stop and think. How do we know when it's real or a game? I do know when rping with your SO you can use a word or phrase that shouldn't normally come up to indicate a 'true' no.
For those of us who are older, we also grew up in a time when 'playing hard to get' was (in my perception) more prevalent. In those cases, if you took 'no' as definitive you lost out... weren't considered decisive or 'manly' enough (personal experience talking here... no always meant no). Now, it gets even more confusing in that besides 'no meaning no', apparrantly 'yes' can sometimes mean 'no'.
Issues of consent are tough, especially when there can be three different understandings (two different people and the law). The other question is 'when is consent requirement nullified?' No may be no, but when can we ignore it? Is punishment to be stopped simply because the one to be punished does not consent?
Please understand, I am not advocating for any given position. I am merely adding things to consider, nothing more. I also ask others to please be respectful, not only to myself and Kudzu, but to each other as well. We will all have varying levels of agreement with varying points... let's not start the shiat storm of the century, eh?
I have the feeling that the foals would make it known if the 'No' was not a playful, but a serious one. ZAPP.
YOU BASTARD!!!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!
Just the other day I had the same friking thought! I was tickling my girls and they we screaming at me to stop. and the dam thought just crept in there. Since then I have had them come up to me and beg for tickles... but still its there sitting in the back of my head. What does this game teach? Why is is weird for non family to be this intimate but between family its ok? ARRRRG!
6799259 read faster!
TRIGGERED
I've been having this same little tickle in the back of my brain for a long time now -- Cool that you brought it up in a chapter. I wouldn't be too worried about people getting antsy about it.
Why where you nervous to upload?
Now you got me thinking. I like to tease a lot. Something to think about...
6799262
Torches and pitchforks? Nah, that's for old fogeys. We've got flashbangs and tazers!
Wow, that actually just changed my view on parenting...huh...I'm gonna need some time to process this...
Oh the over thinking and worry......so silly. Lol
6799245
I have to agree with Marce. "No" is not a magic word for 'this must stop everything has to stop'. No is a cessation of approval. There are times in life where approval doesn't even matter. Doing the tickle thing with your kids doesn't mean in the slightest that it teaches them to ignore 'no' during sex. That's a separate lesson that comes later, where you tell them during intercourse if someone says no, you both back off and see what's wrong. Context is massively important.
If you actually try to teach a kid that 'saying no means whatever you don't like stops' like what Bucky's essentially ruminating on, they're sure going to be surprised when an attacker doesn't care, or their boss doesn't listen and goes ahead with their business plan or their spouse goes ahead and fixes a different dinner than they'd wanted, because 'no' means 'this stops'.
This chapter went into SJW territory for me. The kind of jilted thinking where if you think about it shallowly you or someone else or the situation seems like just the most horrible thing (this is where you're meant to stop thinking and just be upset/moved by 'horrible thing'), but if you think about it harder you realize the whole thing's kind of dumb, especially with a background in psychology.
6802009 are you sure that isn't just your culture talking? Honestly think about for amoment when I was in high school (and even now partly there was this massive palpable double standard of "go to parties for sex and look down on virgins so can you imaging a foot ball player drunk in a bedroom with a girl and suddenly she realizes she values her virginity more then there relationship and she realizes she doesn't think he cares about her at all and she looks in his eyes and sees the look of a boy who has been overcoming no's his whole life " I can't finish training I can't throw the ball I can't lose wait" but he does and he probably just won his first game and she sees that her consent doesn't matter any more and so insintcivly she says "no" and he hears this and becomes confused and angry you see because he is tired and wants to celebrate with his girlfriend and he doesn't have the patience or understanding required to know what's going on so he says nothing and he takes what he wants because no is just part of the game.
6799269 in this instance e I agree but really her storytelling is all about the reality parallels how many girls do you know that are capable of emitting a deadly electrical attack with a though I'm willing to bet the answer is 0
That bit with berry and Bucky......
You've given me much to think about at 1 in the morning.
6836449 eyup.. Lol
...
I like it.
I'm scared, the gears are turning.
I'm thinking about when no is ignored.
what if it was learned?
what if we are bad parents?
Kudzy?
This is genius.
6802009
He wasn't saying that lack of consent magically made people respect your consent; but, as parents, and the ones trying to TEACH them the basics of No Means No, THEY should respect it as much as they can.
I remember being tickled until I couldn't breathe by my dad, and I HATED it. Laughing =/= enjoyment in this context; I kept asking for him to stop, but he wouldn't until he felt like it. I'm not trying to play the part of the poor, traumatized victim, but I can definitely see where this thought comes from, and dismissing it as being SJWish is not only reductive and inconsiderate, but inaccurate. The idea being proposed is that "if they ask us to stop tickling them, we should let up." A SJW idea would be, "parents who tickle their kids are guilty of child abuse, and should have CPS called on them and their children taken from them."
7207754 Quite fitting for this chapter(probably) I remember reading somewhere quite some time ago that laughing while being tickled is actually a nervous response indicating that the person being tickled is not comfortable being touched by the one doing the tickling. It is probably more complicated than that, and most likely differs from person to person as well(as some people are just naturaly more ticklish than others), but is still something to keep in mind...probably
I was ran in to the same thing in my phys class. no means yes and it part of the game.
6799245 The problem then becomes...how do you tell the difference? When "No" and "Yes" are intertwined, it can be difficult to really tell the difference. Even more so, because for SOME people they DO like being tickled. Yet for others they do not. How then are you supposed to tell the difference between the children whose "No" means "Please more" and whose "No" means "NO! STOP AT ONCE!"?
Even more troubling is later on. Perhaps the rapist thinks "Oh well in the past 'No' can mean yes. It means that they probably just want it, and are playing with me". Already in America there is a lot of rapists that get less time than a non-violent criminals. That because someone is a male, ESPECIALLY if they are a Sports Star (Even if just HS) then they matter more than some girl who is not. It's not as easily dismissed.
A better way would be if you taught your children a different way. If you taught them to a "Safe Word" so to speak. Then there would be a CLEAR distinction between "Pretend No" and "Real No"
7889231
Safewords are a good idea, but the concept of " no =/= no 100%" is probably too much for a child/foal of Cadence's mental age ( I'd pin Sukari/Cadence/Harper/Peekaboo as being mentally equivalent to about a 3/4 year old (old enough to ask questions that they don't have the maturity to truly comprehend the weight of). For the record, I tend to pin the M6 as being about 20 years old mentally (old enough to know what they want to do with their lives, young enough to not really be there yet) and the CMC as being around 11/12 mentally (wanting to be more physically mature) at the start of Season 1).
While a couple might be able to know when the word "no" is just part of the game, the use of a safe-signal allows the couple to explore unexplored avenues of the marital arts until both parties can be sure that their partner knows the subtle unspoken signs that their partner is truly uncomfortable.