...so why the hell was Diamond Tiara allowed back? The little bitch should have been expelled, let alone suspended.

4295718

Ponies are too loving and forgiving.

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4295735

What the author said.

Jesus, how are you updating so fast? You've produced four chapters and the first one went up yesterday.

I enjoyed reading Sparkler's perspective and how she feels lost being a unicorn born to an earth pony mother and in the care of her adoptive pegasus mother. It's not surprising she feels so confused.

Well, look forward to the next update.

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Let's see, several chapters of this, a chapter of To Dance In Shadow, a chapter for Set in Stone, and Flight of the Scootaloo.

Probably over 10k words today.

a painful thorn in her frog.

is... is that a saying? I've heard of a thorn in one's side, but in one's frog? you crazy kids these days and your crazy slang.

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Pony anatomy. Soft flesh around the rear of the hoof.

horsemanmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/horse-hoof-frog.jpg

If the colt is a nice colt, i grant Sparkler her little teenage love. Somehow i expect that the most Colts in the storys are somehow a little bit mean or something like that. well beside Shining armor i know only or remember only Filty Rich, Flim Flam Brothers and Fancy Pants.

Well i love this story and after puppy Love this is my actual favourite story from you.

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More will be revealed later. And yes, earth ponies do have strength and stamina. It was merely exposition pointing out that earth ponies didn't have wings or a horn. Their strength comes specifically from their greater numbers...

Psst, higher birth rates than the other races!

As a person with a love of fantasy and roleplaying, the way you have portrayed the three tribes is not only appealing, but fairly balanced.
Differing courtship behaviors have been something I've been wanting to try in my fics.
Honestly, I am both impressed and waiting for more.
You have a gift, hermano.
i.imgur.com/fynSuYY.jpg

The chase scene and the dinner scene was great.

This is one of those fics that is far from being perfect in a grammatical and structural sense, and yet wields the power to draw you in. It is simple, and therefore approachable and easy to grasp. It doesn't take a PhD to enjoy it and the content is fresh, original, and offers an interesting perspective on pony sociology. I applaud you, sir, and continue to enjoy this immensely.

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I envy you your madness, sir/madam/yes

The schoolmarm Cheerilee

What is a Schoolmarm?

4362052 I could do that, if my fingers didn't hurt when I type 60+ words. They hurt now even as I write this comment.

4298860 I agree so strongly with your second point it hurts. I will try to give you courtesy, but my Aspie-ness makes it hard. I keep accidentally offending people. Pretend I'm a unicorn and everyone else is a pegasusususussusususus.

4705779 Dont worry, it gets better

THE RAMONES! Love them! Ok, this story is getting good... 3 day weekend, I'm reading this the whole time!

Huh. I can see myself comparing this fanfiction to the classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird. For one, it's about segregation. Second, one of the main characters just wants each race to get along with each other. And finally, the character Scout from the book and Derpy from this story are facing a similar crisis. Great job, Kudz. I love every word of this.

heh, Dinky turned into a Cling-on.

Trying to sooth her with gentle words
not something easily understood. her perceptions and perspectives
Swatting punching, hitting, slapping, it was all the same

1. Soothe, again.
2. Forgot to capitalise.
3. Forgot your comma after Swatting. Unless a SWAT Punch is a thing where you get the police on your tail

It sounds like you're saying that anything that makes me angry beyond this point in the story is my fault as a reader. I really wish you'd stop doing that.

This continues to be intriguing, however. The use of the different viewpoints in each chapter is effective, and it really fleshes out the whole ordeal.

This chapter alone makes me hate Pegasi

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Why? Care to explain your reasons? You've been presented very little about them, certainly not enough to form any kind of meaningful conclusion, how many pegasi are you basing your opinion on?

So far, your opinion has been influenced by forced perspective.

I will have to come back to.this one day, the whole thing with them acting so heavily on instincts makes me feel like they ONLY act on instincts and dont really have a personality, like they are very progamed. But when I do come back to this one day I will look past that and hope its a case of early syndrome

I have to say that this is the first time I have read a story from the pov of a different species and really felt that I was reading from a perspective different from my own in ways unique to their physiology and culture. I can see where you needed to improve in some places but if the rest of the story is like this im looking forward to it.

“Why would you get in trouble for that?” asked Sparker,

I think you're missing an L there.

Ahhhhhh gotta love dem ponies, hehehe this is so great!
...
I am having a head canon being built within my brain hole.
Nice job man, nice job!
Damn forgiveness... it can be a sin sometimes.

She remembered her mother trying to come home in time for Hearth’s Warming and she remembered the terrible news of the train derailment. Sparkler remembered Derpy’s struggle to keep the family together, getting a job as a mailmare, and keeping them all together, if only just barely. She remembered everything that made her who she was, and while she knew who she was, she felt like she really didn’t fit with anypony in particular. It was tough being gifted with introspection, it made being young much, much harder than it needed to be, and caused no end of problems for Sparkler’s social life.

Too many uses of the word remembered, and of their names. Try it like this.

Sparkler recalled how her mother tried to come home in time for the Hearth's Warming holiday, and about the news of the terrible train derailment. She also thought about her mother's struggled to keep the family together during that time, getting a job as a mailmare, and keeping them all together as best she could. Even though she knew what made her who she was, she felt that she really didn't fit in with anypony in particular. It was tough being gifted with introspection, it made being young much, much harder than it needed to be, and caused no end of problems for Sparkler’s social life.

Try to not be so blocky with your sentences, and let it flow. And you don't need to use their names so often. Also I am not sure where you were going with the train derailment, or what it means? Was she hurt or delayed? I'm confused on it. I hope this helps.

I've been intending to read this story for a while but the length made me postpone it several times. I didn't help that the description is a bit vague.

However, as soon as I got that it was (at least so far and in part) about the cultural differences between the tribes I was hooked. That kind of stuff is one of the reasons I fell in love with SF. Hell, it's at least half of the reason I read HiEs.

Unfortunetly, I have to say that my suspension of disbelief is quite broken. I just can't make myself believe that misunderstandings of this magnitude would exist about such public things as the pegasus chase after more than a millennium of cohabitation, much less after however long it might actually be since the founding. Hell, even when the tribes were fighting each other they should have had a better grasp of each others customs, at least in military and scholarly circles. Know thy enemy, et cetera.

Maybe I'm overestimating the level of general education and social awareness of the citizens of Ponyville.

In any case, the story is too damned interesting and entertaining to care about the fact that I can't even pretend to believe that the situation could actually happen.

I'll note that the writing could use some polishing, but since it's more than a year old I'd expect that the newest chapters are better written. Not that they're bad, just somewhat unpolished.

Oh, and on a side note: Cheerilee, I can feel your pain. This is like parents demanding that their special snowflake get special treatment, except amplified a hundred times. I'd never consider a teaching job for multiple reasons IRL, but in this setting I'd run away screaming if someone offered me the job, at least in a mixed class.

Edit: Also, you write a ridiculous amount of horse words per day.

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Almost exactly what he said.

Now I don't hate earth ponies anymore.
I hate myself for hating them.
Man, I am a horrible human being for jumping to conclusions so quickly. :\

Only complaint thus far: too much telling, not enough showing.

“Nothing else turns you on quite like a good chase does,” added another with a saucy wink, rolling through the air as she did so.

My Braaaaaain!

Hmm, Cheerilee does understand the different races, she just chooses to enact a no aggression rule.... Not so much a numskull, as a "i don't care what you are, this is my class, these are my rules" opinion. This story is one misunderstanding after another....... I Love it!

“And Dinky, snotlocker, really? I thought we called noses the booger bunker,” Sparkler finished.

Wow, that's grand. I'm lovin' this story more and more.

4295718 I'm sure part of it was Influence and Money. Her Father has quite a bit of BOTH. Plus, Diamond Tiara is VERY good at saying the right words and manipulating adults. So the adults in charge probably felt she had learned her lesson, when she spoon fed them the right words and attitude, presenting a Facade of Change.

4295735 bet you they wouldn't be so forgiving if I "beat on a brat with a baseball bat."

“Nothing else turns you on quite like a good chase does,” added another with a saucy wink, rolling through the air as she did so.

Was that Cloud Kicker?

😄 i'm kinda having fun reading this story

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Come on man it's always cloudkicker. When is it not?