How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Cute chapter. Knitting and sewing all in one chapter.
Missing quotation mark at the start.
And thus Lugus became Luke Skywalker.
whisper. "Maybe not all of us, but most of us.
I'm guessing that chat was a reference to The Catch?
...and it's about to get even more awkward!
i imagined pikaboo telling flash in the most serious foal voice, and i had a mini heart attack because of it
5171483 I completely forgot I wrote that.
Missing a quote here.
startling
question: where are they in the technological level right now? You said a few chapters ago pinkie doesnt know what a machine gun is, now we know they used guns(muskets maybe?) long time ago but they never really researched it soooo..... we are around the secound industrial revolution? if yes then how they can have a small portable camera? isnt that supposed to be invented a bit later? Or its a mish-mash?
The last part seems a bit off, should the "have" be there in "they have all died off as the land died"? Maybe it has to do with the fact I'm bad at English but that, as I said before, sounds a bit weird.
I think you need "use" not "used"
I am by no means an expert in anything word related and these are just things that bothered me. Whether it be do to me paying more attention in English than I remember or have become so accustomed to hearing and seeing them used in the wrong fashion, I will probably never know. Another great chapter that leave me wondering what will come next!
5172709
This is how some people actually talk. People use much good grammar conversing often!
Dear heavens, Kudz, the only way you could make it more diabetes-inducing is to have mandatory insulin shots for the readers.....
when you are little,"
5172702
They gave up on guns, which leads me to believe the civilian technologies are more advanced than the military.
Which means cameras could have been invented by now.
Chapter 5, Dinky's table manners. I may understand that belch may be a good manners in some cultures, sign of gratitude towards cook, but fart? It's stench is too unpleasant for table, it spoils the meal for everyone who still eats. So I don't understand, why pegasi consider this good table manners.
Oh dear, I do hope Peekaboo doesn't start hiding in plain sight when stuff get's weird.
5172717 i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/563/05d.jpg
5172777
one of the authors i follow had a blog post somewhere about not being too critical when dialogue in a story is not grammatically correct. he basically ranted that people do not always speak in strict correctness, and the presence of such errors in writing actually makes the story and characters more realistic, in that everyone did not know exactly what they were going to say nor are able to perfectly enunciate every thought to the satisfaction of grammar Nazis.
(for example i did not edit the above sentences which may be a run-on or something, and is missing some capitalizations. i just sort of ranted that one out as i went.)
I can't find the post right now, it might have been on another site, but it's going to drive me crazy until i do.
5172826 Thank you for bring this to my attention. That was something I didn't think about.
5172829
you can also look for this kind of thing in TV shows, plays, and movies. some of the best ones are the ones where in stressful or surprising situations the characters act in a realistic way by not having perfect control of their speech.
It still has the latter, last I checked. Or did Lugus mean griffon magic?
In any case, this gives a whole new angle on the griffons. Frankly, I'm amazed they managed to industrialize. From what I've been hearing about them, any intellectuals among them would be too busy fending off predation to actually develop anything. I suppose they borrowed and/or stole most of their technology.
Of course, then we run into the "cavemen with nukes" scenario, wherein the culture hasn't developed enough for responsible use of the technology. As such, griffon civilization becomes unsustainable in yet another way. (Granted, it could be argued that that's the case for us...)
And then there's the Flashdashlight, and someone needs to knock their heads together. Preferably lips first.
Oh, and a fascinating bit about knitting. Dash really needs some stress relief. (Again, lips first.)
Looking forward to more.
So, what I'm getting from these comments is a rule of thumb for typo spotting:
Search for spelling typos all over, but only point out grammar mistakes in the narration, not dialogue.
Right?
5172908
Righto!
Smooth, Flash, veeeery smooth...
5172887
Or, the magic comment might've meant metaphorical magic, like when you're young and everything is amazing.
Another d'aaaaawful chapter.
I agree with Lugus. If a race is inherently aggressive and bloodthirsty and a danger to the others around it who truly want peace and aren't driven by biological imperative to seek bloodshed, then they probably should go extinct. Do the world a favor.
I think that was going for stomped.
5173150
like those dirty polish imperialists
The dorkosterone levels are through the roof!
5173203
ESPECIALLY the Polish. Heil Rust!
(But no, seriously. A species where 95%+ are naturally evil probably needs to die.)
5173150
Most only do what they are taught. What is expected from them. A good portion of fear of change and exclusion.
Lugus is an exception for having developed doubts on his own.
Just read Chapter 9. Ponyville is the only integrated town in all Equestria? What? Manehatten don't exist? Rainbow Falls don't exist? And other towns and cities. It's been more than thousand years, and traditions still didn't mixed together? I could understand if old ways may still be in towns like Cloudsdale, where only pegasi can live, but in all other places, where any pony can live, 2-3 generations together - and everypony in the same social layer will have the same mix of traditions from all three tribes.
5173458
No, Ponyville is the most integrated of all places. Manehatten was mostly earth ponies, with a few unicorn and pegasi minorities.
Same with other places.
Ponyville actually has the best balance.
5173458
Chapter 4 - Seperate schools. Foals in bigger citys just grow up with members of their tribe if they don't have siblings or other relatives that aren't the same.
As far as I remember, most Manehattans were earth ponies.
Edit: As the author said. Should be faster with my comments and refresh before I post.
Shouldn't you wait until The Catch is complete before you start this story?
5173601 bit late for him to do that... besides they were in the Shetland Isles Arc before The Catch was on the site
5173471
Celestia had thousand years of solo ruling, and she knew about integration problem from the very beginning. And yet she didn't forbid segregated schools and didn't start some kind of integration program, didn't made books about traditional tribe communications and didn't gave that books to every foal in Equestria? And it's just the first simple thought, Celly have wisdom of untold years, and I'm sure she'd came up with much better solution. Mixed towns like Ponyville, like seeds of union, must be planted everywhere! I can't understand why Ponyville is the only one!
Just read Chapter 12. Why you lecture about biology, making everything mechanical and characters machine-like? Why? :(
5173701 think it was implied that the house of avarice thing was responsible for it.;
5173411
For humans that might be true. Lugus is actually why I'm agreeing with him. He's resisting his apparently powerful natural instincts. The others are not. They are doing what is 'right' for them, as a natural species. But what is right for them is bad for everyone else, or so it would seem. We won't know until we get there.
5173997
You have more fortitude than I. Keep it up.
can someone explain to me what that means? i dont really get the joke
damn These foals and there perfected art of adorebleness,
I like how Flash is portrayed.
I never hated the guy, just wished he had gotten some more characterization than he did in Equestria Girls.
The way he seems to be feels right to me.
5174060
He meant to say, "May I show you to a seat?"
What came out of his mouth was "May I sew you to a sheet" because he was nervous.
5173150 So that means that we humans should just kill ourselves?
5174480
We are a virus with shoes that wears pants.
5174464 that fetish sounds painful. TYING down with a sheet, sure; but owie-owie-ow-ow... X(
5174572
Such a terrible slip of the tongue. But it might make a fun fetish... you should be open to trying new things mang.
We need to know the tale of these two cities
...
I'm (not) sorry
5175143
I'd rather leave you with Great Expectations.
OMG your going to make rainbow a mother!