How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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4388723
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/185628_r.png?1398564331
Scootaloo agrees.
You know, I was okay with this chapter... until you resumed shoving "Berry Punch is in the right" down our throats.
Stop it, I beg you. Actually have her suffer consequences in this modern world, even have Bucky suffer for what she did. SOMETHING.
4388935
But she isn't in the right. And I've stated that.
But her actions can be explained. There is a difference.
And don't worry, the consequences are coming, and they will be horrible. Maybe not horrible in the way you expected, but horrible nonetheless and will profoundly impact Bucky and Derpy.
Edit: Her actions were also far worse than simple assault, which is the sticking point that very people are capable of seeing past. Forest, trees, etc.
Yay another chapter. For whats its worth I found the dialogue about Bucky getting a big head kinda funny (Dirty Humor). It's interesting how Luna
stated about her standing about feminism in correlation with her out of date touch on society, it made her view point more realistic and not just convenient for the plot.
Damn you for being so smart with your words, "I've been tricked" is all i could think after reading the author's note and it did indeed add a good amount of depth. Enjoying it greatly.
I'm perfectly fine with no deaths, there's something about adorable, pastel colored ponies dying that rubs me the wrong way.
And your update speed? You are freaking awesome, have a Fluttershy.
4388935 See, I think this is something you're missing. In our world, an assault like this would be almost universally condemned. That's the point. It gets you to consider, compare your values to this world's.
I'm not saying Berry was right, morally, in doing what she did. However, what she did was perfectly within the legal system, because this world is different than our own.
been reading this from the beginning and have read this twice so far about to read a third time, and I have to say that this is (to me at least) is up there with Past Sins a beautifully made fanfic that brings out some unique and dark truths.
Yours is same way but has a comic side to it, yes the last few chapters have been dark, but isn't that the point? In order for chaos and laughs to begin some elements of dark, and sad elements must be brought to fruit. I know that I don't have any fanfics to my name whether its on here (which I hope to have one soon) or on Fanfiction.net, but I know the value of story AND what it means to show how to tell it.
All in all I absolutely love this story and put it on my Top 5 ranking in number 2. Sorry but Past Sins really does pull at your emotions BUT that can easily be changed, and right now the way I see it, it might be possible. Keep up the good work.
4388990
Actually, there were laws like this in our world at one time.
Dueling.
Once you delivered that first slap, you were well within your rights to kill somebody for shits and giggles. People had better manners back then. There was a polite and well armed society that settled disputes and proved who was right in the only way that mattered. (to them)
All it took was one slap on the cheek, and that was it. You left a big red welt on the cheek for a reason you know.
That way, when the corpse was examined, the legal official overlooking the case could see that a duel had been declared, as had been indicated by the swelling of the cheek.
Fun fact!
4388990 I am sick of that "world is different so it's acceptable" excuse.
4389023
It isn't acceptable though. So please, be reasonable, and stop saying that.
Just different. And different outlook on consequences too.
4389029 I'll stop saying it if you stop writing it out as such.
Another cliche I'm sick of that became prevalent in this chapter? Celestia hated and 'bad' through a viewpoint, so Luna and Twilight ally against her. I know that's not what is going on, but it has that impression.
4389070
The misdirection is strong here.
4389076 Misdirection as in 'moi' or Misdirection as in the fellow that dropped your story because you didn't show immediate consequences after promising there were going to be consequences?
I'm still following the story, but I complain because I'm concerned with the direction. I'm not trying to control or stifle you.
Missing word?
Luna, what are you doing? Are you subverting or rescuing the Ponyville Project? Also, House Avarice, are they just one family, or is that the name for the unicorn nobility?
4389087
Misdirection within the story.
Right now, you are only seeing one side of the Celestia incident. And it isn't a very flattering side of the incident. It makes Celestia look very, very bad.
Is that actually the case? Can you puzzle out things from Celestia's or maybe even Luna's viewpoint on why Celestia would respond the way she did, seemingly so callous of the lives at stake here?
Feel free to speculate. I really want that to happen.
Click this link. Do a little study.
Using a different set of perspectives, try to see the world through Berry Punch's view. Or Luna's view. It doesn't matter if you are right or wrong, what matters here is that you try to see something outside of your own perspectives. Using the framework within the story, how might Derpy see these events? She is a physically driven creature without a need for a lot of words.
Now, try to see the world through Celestia's view. Just imagine it a little bit. You've lived for thousands of years. Do the lives of individual ponies matter as much as a bigger picture and long term planning?
Would Twilight Sparkle have this view? How long has she lived? Not very long. For her, she is still very focused on the individual, and that gives her a more humane perspective of events, something Celestia lacks. Both views are valid. Both are necessary. Twilight is going to respond on an emotional level about individuals, and Celestia is going to respond on events that will affect long term gains. Twilight sees a year or even a decade as a long time.
Celestia sees it as a brief instant. These events in the story, all of these events are an instant. Moments. Minutes. And events in these minutes are affecting plans that Celestia had that span the concepts of her hours. Weeks. Or even what Celestia might consider a year.
Twilight cannot see Celestia's pain, Celestia has lost touch as to why Twilight is angry, and conflict is created because two perspectives chase one another but cannot connect.
And this story is all about The Chase.
4389116
The word think is still located on the google doc.
ARGH!
It vanished during the copy and paste somehow.
I am concerned about how Twilight's parents will work into this. They're being forced to choose between daughter and sovereign, and I have no idea which way they'll go. And then there's Celestia's reaction to her sister being imprisoned...
Yeah, I get the feeling unicorn neurosis is going to rear a very ugly head.
In any case, looking forward to more.
4388935
Read.
Berry will be punished. Wars are not started without consequence. Depending on how much suffering she causes, her punishment will be lesser or greater, but it will not be zero.
4389154 I hope it's greater. I hope she NEVER gets to be in a herd, because as I pointed out in a comment last chapter, she lacks her own self-control.
4389168
I was trained as a boxer.
I could theoretically punch somebody hard enough that they would die.
Does this mean that I should not be allowed near other people?
Now, what if I get upset and clock somebody, hard enough to really hurt them, I mean really lay them low, but not kill them outright.
Should my control be rewarded or punished?
Ahh... Growing up in a Catholic boys reformatory. Fond memories. Evil nuns.
4389176 YOU still have self-control. Berry Punch does not.
4389116
House Avarice are the surviving bloonlines of Princess Platinum.
They are at the top of the heap of all the unicorn houses. They call the shots as far as houses go. All of the lower houses beneath them fall in line... Or else.
They are not nice ponies. Avarice. They actually embraced the word as their house name.
One of the seven deadly sins actually... Unpleasant connotations and all that.
4389186 I will admit, somehow calming down in the span of.. ten seconds, perhaps more... I had my own image of pony in this universe.
Jet Stream, green pegasus with red-and-pink pompadour and red-and-pink Fluttershy-esque tail, and pink irises, travelling chef with his food cart, and just a little on the chubby side.
He would be a stallion that, by this world's standard, is not well, because he doesn't seek outright herd companionship. He simply seeks to travel, cook delectable dishes, and bring smiles. Through that way, the entire planet is a pseudo-herd to him.
Thoughts?
4389178
Do I?
Does she?
She could have killed Bucky's mother. And gotten away with it. It wouldn't have been a murder.
She chose ritual crippling, and she knows that Bucky's mother is going to live, because Berry wants her to live to see the fall of her own house and her own son taken by the enemy.
I might do the same, had I been raised in that society. Hell, I might do the same because of how I was raised in this society.
Just something to think about.
4389207 Who can say? As you say, however, I will have to wait and see...
... Previous post thoughts?
4389214
?
4389218 The post where I said I calmed down a bit. I asked for your thoughts.
4389014
Huh.
112west.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/the_more_you_know2.jpg
I learned something new this morning.
4389023
That's kind of the point, though. "Acceptable" is by its very nature defined by society. If, one hundred years ago, a woman walked to the beach in a bikini, she'd be arrested for indecent exposure. Two hundred years ago, she'd be put in the stocks, beaten, and publicly humiliated.
Acceptable is different from moral.
4389176 4389178
How does Berry show a lack of self-control in what she did? She discussed it with Bucky beforehand. She took a train there calmly. When the time came, she did exactly what she came to do, stated her views clearly, and left.
She was very much in control of what she did. It's just what she did that is objectionable.
4389221
Oh. I would need more of a context, a framework to work with.
What am I working with? What is the background?
4389186 Oh... I didn't know that meant something, I just thought it was their name.
4389230 Framework in what sense? He doesn't have to be and shouldn't be in your story, being not your own character... Do you mean 'how would he fit'? He wouldn't. Not in this story at least.
4389229
Leaving a sizeable welt on the cheek could keep you from going to a penal colony island.
Funnily enough, the cheek swelling only takes place while the person is alive. So working on your backhanded slap was paramount!
Keep that slap hand strong!
And yes, Berry was very much in control of her actions.
She earned her red ribbons. IE, she knew how to kick. And she could have kicked hard enough to kill.
Y'all did see the red ribbon info meme I posted about horses, right?
4389236
I don't know enough about him to have any sort of context.
4389249 He's just a passerby whom likes to cook and see ponies enjoy what he cooks, be it barbecued cabbage with bits of bacon -he's been to the Griffin lands and experimented, even made friends- something as mudane as fast food, or even a delicacy worthy of Canterlot snobs. The fires of the hearth are his passion.
Jet Stream is also a type of solar wind.
I see him as a fellow hailing from Manehatten, brandishing the accent of Boston, and a well-traveled, experienced stallion... but he's also a young one that doesn't know everything he talks about, or even proper context. His travels have robbed him of knowledge of local laws beyond a few footnotes.
He also dressed for occasion.
4389234
Buckminster Bitters, Esquire, Armiger of House Bitter, Scion of the Platinum Lineage.
And, as mentioned in the story, House Avarice is the Platinum Lineage.
Shall we take a moment and dissect what is being said here, with this title? I know a few people had to look up what these things meant, but I am guessing most people didn't.
Bucky is not a lawyer.
Here, Esquire indicates peerage.
Wait, what is peerage?
In simple and dirty terms, it indicates nobility through the passing of a title.
Esquire is the opener of Bucky's titles. The 'hello' if you will. It means "Hi. I am a noble."
So... The titles. What are the titles in Bucky's name and what do they mean. We have the hello, the opening of the message. What does the rest of the message mean?
Armiger. It means armor bearer or one who has the noble authority to bear arms. Quite literally, it means "I have a right to kill you peasant, if you don't mind your tongue." It is a person with enough social status that they don't answer for murder of the lower social classes.
Stop and think about that for a moment and let it sink in. Wait for it... Now, really think about Bucky's position in society.
Scion of the Platinum Lineage.
Directly translated, Son of the Platinum bloodline.
So... When somebody like Bucky announces his titles, Esquire, Armiger, Scion...
It means "Hello. You are beneath me. Mind your place. Step out of place, I will kill you, because I have that authority by birthright."
There. Now, think about Bucky's place within the story.
Some framework.
I really don't know how many of you went googling for relevant info, but here ya go. Kudos to those who did.
4389271
Seems like an interesting character. The well educated outsider archetype.
4389300 Well-educated? Sure. Able to apply it? ... Not so sure.
For example, there was this one incident in which he somehow seduced a griffin just by daring to cook a steak, and apparently it was just SO GOOD.
Then he horrified Fillydelphians by daring to serve them meat in his dishes, and he got run out of the city.
... XD I kid, but that could be funny.
kudzu, before I even start reading this one, you are amazing. I get to read three new chapters in one day? that's insane!
I LOVE IT.
4389308
Well, the well educated outsider archetype is well educated, but an outsider. They don't fit in. But they are educated enough to understand that all these social blunders are really embarrassing.
They can be an outsider for many reasons. Like being a traveler. Gypsies fit into this theme.
Well educated means they have a heightened sense of social awareness, but social awareness does not mean social compatibility. It just means they are aware enough to be horrified when something goes wrong.
Contrary to the mindless bumpkin.
4389323 Lol. I suppose so.
... I just pictured him overhearing Bucky and Derpy talking about... things... while he's stopped in Ponyville, and just not saying a thing, just cooking the meal, until the time is right to strike while the iron is hot.
"Now, me, I never fit in with the whole 'herds and flocks' thing... Nah, I think I may want to be in a pride..."
"A pride?"
"Griffins." He smiled. "Once you've been close with a griffin hen, let alone ten, nothing phases you anymore."
O_O ... Did I seriously just type that?
4389340
Or you could have Lois Griffin.
Peter comes with that deal though.
A group of griffons is called a flock.
Avians and all that.
Male griffons, being feline, would have barbed penises you know.
4389354 I know, I know... and again, once you've been in a pride, lion's version of a herd/flock, nothing phases you anymore... so says Jet Stream. I call it a pride to separate them from Pegasi, being not-ponies.
That said and done, however... thanks to you, I just had this comment form in my head:
"Well, accept for that fat one and his wife... I think their runt has a god-complex." Jet shuddered, and then he shook his head. "Anyway, one hay-burger, extra tomato!"
Also, you accidently made me think of pegasi and the assholes of the avian world known as ducks.
Seen it? Seen that?
Capitalize that P.
4389379
Words keep vanishing when I copy and past over from Gdocs.
Damnit. Happened earlier too.
I should follow up my comment on the last chpater earlier by saying that I was - and am - much less worried by Berry's assault (assanine as that action was - if that really needed doing, it should have been carefully planned) two chapters ago than by Twilight's suscession and the declaration of war last chapter.
So I was rather releived when Luna pointed out that anypony that dies is this mess because of Berry. Their blood be will on her hooves (and the moment we get to ponies dying is the moment Berry loses any sympathy from me; her reasons become irrelevant. Her feelings - no-one's feelings (pony, human, Lich or otherwise) are more important than other people's lives.) Hopefully, this will bring it to Berry how utterly thoughtless her actions were.
Even if this was was necessary (and it may have been), going off in a fit of anger and starting it for personal reasons (because Luna quite rightly called bullcrap on the issue of currently non-existant foals) was absolutely NOT the way to do it. Hell, if she'd kept her cool instead of going out to deliverately hurt someone who'd hurt someone she loves (not for any reasons of nobility or justice, just out of anger), it's quite likely Celestia would have dealt with it before it became an issue, since she's leaning in that direction already.
So regardless of whether Berry was right to do what she did (though likely for the wrong reasons), she deserves to be condemned at the very least for the absolutely incredibly stupid way she did it.
(I have to say - if did all end with Berry being imprisioned for life because her actions ended up getting people killed and thus losing the opportunity to form her herd? I would consider that not an unreasonable outcome. I've seen this sort of thing in CSI and the like often enough, where someone in desparation to do something for family or whatever ends up destroying whatever they were trying to save with their actios to save it. It does happen. That is not to say this is what I expect or would want it all to end (though at the moment, I don't know really how I would want it to end: I'm not feeling a lot of love for anypony involved at this exact moment...), but merely that in those circumstances, I would consider that to be acceptable.)
Also Celestia really should have cleaned house better in the very first place. Damn her position and her excuses, she should have solar-flared the idiots the second they started killing each other (especially when they started involving children) and made absolutely clear that there was no protection to be gained from position, blood or power that meant you could get away with murder and assassination without being summarily exectued, in my opinion. But then I have an extremely dim view of people who use the law or position as a shield. (If I ruled a country, any claim of "diplomatic immunity (et al)" would be met with a responce which suggested that that immunity would be put to an immediate practical test...)
4388948
First, I'll say that I don't think I'll be disappointed if no pony dies. I think I can survive. Second, for those consequences.... Why am I thinking an ironic punishment? Our something like... The price of saving her other foals and all those other Shetland foals... Is that she must give up her first unicorn foal to be raised by another?
4389354 In addition to my previous post... I just had the image of Jet being Chased go through my head... and due to his self-inflicted social abnormality, him not liking it one bit because it leaves the food he was cooking burned beyond being edible.
... Also, still keeping this story faved and followed.
it doesnt really NEED death to be a comedy imo, mainly because i still get the giggles whenever i think of hotsauce because of this story due to the statement 'obscene amounts of liquid fire' from a previous chapter