• Member Since 21st Feb, 2013

Officer Hotpants


Quando omni flunkus, moritati

Nonsensical Stories 56 stories
  • Nonsensical Stories 56 stories - 43 unread chapters "...For if you go back through the way you came in the daM doG will swallow your mind."
    Created by Officer Hotpants
    - October, 2014
Found 33 stories in 42ms

Total Words: 797,859
Estimated Reading: 2 days

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E

Youtube read by ScarlettBlade. (I love this one)

Enuvva by Winged T. Spears.(Dis one is more serious, bruddas)

This one is by Darksymphony777

Knuckles teaches da princesses da weh. *clickclickclickclick*

Chapters (1)
E

It was another quiet day in Ponyville when that peace was shattered by the arrival of a new foe.

What does this new enemy want, and to what depths will it stoop to to gain victory over the so-called Elements of Harmony?

And why is no one taking him seriously?




Wow, Featured on February 2nd 2016! Thanks!

Chapters (3)
T

Twilight didn`t really expect anything to happen. After all, it`s just tea time with Fluttershy. Who could have possibly expected anything wrong with it? But, as she is about to learn, Ponyville just has to throw her a curveball.

Crackship experiment. I accept no responsibility for any lost hair, sleep, patience, it or anything else caused by perusing this.

Chapters (1)
T

Long ago Celestia imprisoned a powerful, dangerous entity. Too bad nobody seems to realize he's a harmless dope.

This story started out as a parody of the two stories Machinations in the Dark and Celestia's Prophet. You may wish to read them first to get some context for the first chapter.

Now has a tvtropes page!

Chapters (12)
T

When David volunteered to be part of a cryogenic experiment he thought he'd be at the forefront of human technology, spearheading research and development.

Unfortunately politics doesn't work that way.

Lucky for him, the science was solid... For ten thousand years.

AN: Don't take this seriously. Seriously don't. I don't.

Special thanks to my editor: Thornwing!

A-d-d-ditional Tags: Science Fiction, Parody, Waking Up In the Future, Equestria used to be Earth, Parity Bits, Things That Could Be Considered Irrelevant To The Premise And Is Only Used As Humour, Twi-bright, Kangaroos, Towels and Brawndo.

Rated teen for inappropriate scenarios. Well, lots of inappropriate scenarios. Now with 20% more Dark!

List of Side Stories:

The Story of the Equinos and Celestia
Twilight's Report
A Butterfly Bash
The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Unpublished Stories now available here.

I'll also keep the former list I made here:

The Story of the Gorlians and Equestria
Human Manual I
Equine Manual I
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly II
Blue Pill
David's Nightmares
Robot Manticore Attack
The First Law
Discordant
A Dated Journal Entry
McQuestria
McQuestria II
To Touch The Stars

Chapters (17)
T

Applejack farts at dinner.

NOW WITH NO PICTURES OF GAY MEN KISSING

I'm sorry Meeester
I wrote this at 4:00am, expect the worst.

Chapters (1)
T

After being trapped in stone by the Mane Six, Discord uses what little power he has left to summon the one person stupid enough to free him...Johnny Bravo. But will Johnny be able to figure out he's being used in time to stop Discord once and for all?

...Probably not. Equestria is doomed.

Chapters (9)
E

Early twentieth century strongman Arthur Saxon is summoned to Equestria to save the country from Tirek's return.

Exactly what it says on the tin. Not much else to be said.

Chapters (1)
T

Jon Stewart needs to find a way to get more people to watch his show. To do this he welcomes a new series of guests from a far off land containing monsters, magic, and most importantly... ponies!
Join him on an adventure that has him matching wits with sentient mythical creatures ranging from god-like ponies to a fire breathing dragon! Each "Episode" marks a different MLP character getting a chance to travel to the human world for an interview on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.


Please feel free to leave a suggestion for who Jon should interview next.
Disclaimer: For proper context it is highly recommended to reach each chapter in order as many interviews allude to past guests and events.
A special thanks to Zeta040, Cantankerous, and Zervziel for proofreading several stories listed below.

List of Characters who have already appeared:
- Chapter 1: Spike
- Chapter 2: Derpy
- Chapter 3: Applejack
- Chapter 4: Ms. Cheerilee
- Chapter 5: Octavia
- Chapter 6: Zecora
- Chapter 7: Mayor Mare
- Chapter 8: Twilight
- Chapter 9: Trixie
- Chapter 10: DJ Pon3
- Chapter 11: Rainbow Dash
- Chapter 12: Iron Will
- Chapter 13: Fancy Pants
- Chapter 14: Queen Chrysalis
- Chapter 15: Luna
- Chapter 16: A Changeling
- Chapter 17: Rarity
- Chapter 18: Lyra and Bon Bon
- Chapter 19: The Cutie Mark Crusaders
- Chapter 20: Discord
- Chapter 21: Fluttershy

Chapters (107)