• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


I'm a musician, songwriter, and erstwhile actor and improviser, with a BA in theatre and a minor in Latin. That's the short version.


Early twentieth century strongman Arthur Saxon is summoned to Equestria to save the country from Tirek's return.

Exactly what it says on the tin. Not much else to be said.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 58 )

Oh, boy. Here we go again.

I usually loathe stories like this, but this is darn well written.

“It is not,” said Arthur Saxon, “but a man who uses a varied and well-rounded plan of exercise can expect to excel in most physical contests merely by virtue of his well-practiced control over his own body and of his understanding in regards to the behavior of weight manipulated externally thereunto, good sir. It is for this reason that I am fond not only of lifting weights, but also of running, swimming, leaping, and all manner of physical exertions.'

I can't tell whether this is a quote from the story or an actual victorian-era strongman quote. congratugalations?


Most of his dialogue is simply my interpretation of what he might say in this (ridiculous) situation. That bit about him having always been strong, however, I chose to use nearly verbatim because it is the line that inspired me to write this. I just thought that any individual who did the things he did and would say something as unapologetically... well... "alpha" as "I have always been strong, and can only imagine what it must be like to be weak," was just an absolutely hilarious historical figure.

Around the same time that I first read that line, I had been toying with the idea of writing some kind of short absurdist fic. I suppose I wanted to do so just to prove that fics like this generate views regardless of quality or the writer's style based entirely on bizarreness of premise. If I was going to write one, though, I wanted to write one that I would enjoy writing.

As for my experiment, it's so far living up to my projections. This fic, which took me two hours to write and about that long to edit, has more views after three hours live on FiMFiction than one that took me most of two months to write and edit, and which went up a week ago.

This isn't to say that I'm upset about what does and doesn't get read on the site. I just have a few dedicated readers who always ask me why I don't get a lot of views. I suppose this is me showing that I could generate lots of views if I wanted to; I just don't usually write the kind of story that the bulk of the community seems to prefer. Disregarding adult material, that seems to be stories that are short, funny, and weird, which utilize humans or crossovers from other universes to maximize reader base.

For what it's worth, though, as much as it was written for this experiment of mine, I do like this story, and I'm glad people are reading it.

So, thanks for looking into it.

This would be even funnier if the strongman was Joe "The Mighty Atom" Greenstein

Honestly, I feel that this is one of the best stories on this site!
Thank you for writing it!

Okay, you're doing great with that guard! ^.^ Now that's a fun character, when you could easily have just had the regular old faceless guard.
I think you've earned a like with that... Just, let's read the rest and make sure you don't mess it up. ^.^

*reading ensues*

Bravo, good sir. Bravo.
This story is excellent, and it even manages to ascend beyond its silly premise.

Honestly, this one should be #1 in the feature box, not mine. :raritywink:

*looks at your other stories*

How do you have so many other well-rated stories, and yet not a ton of popularity? :rainbowhuh:

I have a soft spot in my heart for strong(wo)men and bodybuilders. So you are on the right track with this!

Modern English, Luna:ajbemused: Are you too stupid to learn it?:facehoof:

“I refute your assertion thus,” the human finally said, upon which statement both of Tirek's horns separated mere millimeters from the sides of his head, and dropped to the ground.


Ah, to engage in the timeless show of skill and strength through the years of training and regimen. Truly, this should have been a family spectacle from which foals could have seen for themselves a true champion of sport and gentlemanly poise!

It starts as a Monty Python skit, turns into a ludicrous DBZ battle and concludes with a revenge twist.

That was fun. :pinkiesmile:

I grew a moustache while reading this.

You know, the great thing about having low expectations for random crackfics is that when you find a really good one it's all the more satisfying.

Good show, I say.

My chesthair became handlebar moustaches.

You sure it's not Arthur Saxton?

My inner-man like. He like very much. FANFIC APPROVED :eeyup:

Well, this is the first time I've gotten so many comments that it would take too long to respond to each one individually.

I guess I just want to say thanks for reading this ridiculous story, everyone. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. I'm not sure if I'll ever again write anything just precisely in this vein, but I do have one or two more ideas I intend to turn into fics some time in the next couple of years or so. I give such a large time frame because I'm busier now in my day-to-day life than I've ever been before.

I do have other stories you could check out, but they're all quite different from this one. So, if you go looking for them, be aware they won't be crackfics or even primarily comedic, though I do tend to try and add a little comedy here and there.

I really wasn't expecting this fic to get such a positive response, but I'm glad that it has. I don't know how long it's "run" will continue, but thanks to everyone who has read it, favorited it, or recommended it to anyone else.

I found this to be very interesting, and it appealed to me in an unusual way that I can't explain.
This fanfic was a good read, and I did enjoy reading it (which I found to be quite rare now a days since I stopped reading stories, books, etc.).
I must let my friends read this to see how they react to it!

When I grow up, I want to be just like Arthur Saxon:rainbowkiss:

Splendid! Another!

All that's missing is an explosion.


5305615 What? The story has a great feel and flow; those are essential to a an excellent story.

:moustache: This is a delightfully random and humorous fic, my good fellow.

Pure gold.
Nothing else to say. :ajsmug:

I just want to take a moment to say again that I am very appreciative of everyone reading this, and of all the positive feedback from it.

And that's all I have to say about that.
Seriously, though, clever. I'll need to read this 'Development of Physical Power' if Mr. Saxon really wrote such a macho line as "I have always been strong...". Sounds like a solid workout routine at the least, and an amusing bit of historical trivia to boot!
Thanks for an amusing read and another (probably, anyway) to come.
- Headwind

This was so very awesome that I have no idea what to say besides the fact that it was awesome :rainbowlaugh:

This story gave me great gains.


You obviously missed the 18 kiloton explosion that leveled everything in a kilometer.

5307977 I mean a world shattering explosion. That he slowly walks away from.

Arthur Saxon, the strongest man of his time... a true legend.

This was funny!

After reading this story, my chest hairs wove themselves into a thick plaid shirt, and each of my knuckles grew a beard. Then I cut down a tree using nothing but stern disapproval.

My ribs hurt. That is all.

How was the clock tower still standing if everything in one km had been flattened?

5988178 Clearly, it was outside of one kilometer from the epicenter of the blast.

5989795 Celly must have really good eyes, then.

5990961 Haha! Yeah, I suppose so. Remember; this was a silly crackfic I wrote and edited in about four hours. Surprisingly, I think I was fairly sober when I wrote it, but still, it has a few peculiarities like that. If I had known it would be the most-read thing I'd ever written, I probably would have taken more time. Oh, well. It is what it is at this point, and I hesitate to change it purely because so many people have read it, and have a set idea of what it is, and what it should be.

Thank you very much for reading it.


6018086 Your welcome! It has a special place in my heart.

"Kick his shin and ran away screaming like a schoolfilly.":rainbowlaugh:

This was amazing! And all I could think of when I imagined this happening as I read was him yelling SAXTON HALE!

Hillarious. I'm not even going to correct my speeling, I am laughing too hard.

That was a glorious read :rainbowlaugh: hahahaha! Frigging awesome man, funny, and well worth the read!

At that moment, the mirror's intensifying glow erupted into a flash. There was a loud crackling sound, like a miniature lightning bolt, and a huge puff of smoke that smelled like burning rubber bands. At last, as the smoke cleared, there stepped through the mirror what Twilight Sparkle had described as a human. It was evident by its exquisite mustache that it must be male, and it seemed exceptionally brawny and strong. It wore not the garb of a warrior, however, but a unitard that would have been suitable for a gymnast or other such athlete, and nothing else.



“Wait,” said Celestia. “You can fly!?”
“No,” said Arthur Saxon.
Luna and Celestia looked at one another in confusion, and then back to the human. Arthur Saxon, hurtling ever further towards the horned red and black centaur, offered no further explanation.

This. This got me.

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