The Mane Six plus two humans sat in a train taking them directly to the Crystal Empire. Rainbow Dash nuzzled up to Gary while ignoring the catty comments Rarity made. Applejack and Fluttershy discussed the price of apples and how that would affect Fluttershy's pets, Pinkie Pie snored in her seat, and Twilight Sparkle went over her notes, making sure she hadn't left anything to chance.
Conrad was bored. He stood up, squeezed past the other ponies, and wandered down the aisle, moving through the different cars and poking his head into compartments at random. Every car was empty, since the entire train had been rented out for Twilight Sparkle's personal use.
As Gary had said, "Hey, sometimes it pays to be royalty."
The last car at the very rear of the train was a large empty space that had no individual compartments. In the center of the floor was a large pile of hay, large enough to come up to Conrad's neck.
Puzzled, Conrad walked back to the others.
"Does anybody know why there's a large pile of hay at the rear of the train?" Conrad asked.
"Oh, I did that," Applejack said. "The Royal Guardspony said I should."
"What Royal Guardspony?" Conrad asked.
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Four hours ago, a suspiciously small royal guard wearing cardboard armor walked up to Applejack.
"Applejack!" he said, in a surprisingly high-pitched voice. "I have an important assignment for you! The very fate of Equestria depends on your actions! Are you up to the challenge?"
Applejack swelled with pride. "You bet your mane I am! What do I have to do?"
"Your friends will be departing for the Crystal Empire soon by train. When they do, your job is to find something large enough to hide a single filly and bring it with you onboard the train. Place it somewhere out of the way, then leave it completely unattended while you and your friends board the train. Can you do this?"
Applejack saluted smartly. "Yes, sir!"
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"...and that's why I put the pile of hay on the train. Come to think of it, though, he never did say why he needed it."
Twilight and the rest of the ponies nodded, as if the situation was perfectly normal.
Gary facepalmed. "Conrad-" Gary said.
"On it," Conrad replied, and left the car.
Conrad went to the rear car. He pulled a mask out of his pocket and held it up to the pile of hay. A black hoof with holes in it reached out of the hay pile and swiped the mask before disappearing back into the hay.
"Good," Conrad said. "Now come on, let's go meet the others."
The creature in the hay pile shifted uneasily. "Do I have to?" she asked.
"Yes. Now come on."
The changeling sighed and hopped out of the hay pile. Her mask firmly in place, she walked with Conrad to meet the others.
"I found this little one hiding in the back car," he said, gesturing to the masked changeling.
"Brave Heart?" Rarity asked. "What are you doing here?"
Conrad looked at the changeling, then did a double-take. Sure enough, the changeling was wearing Conrad's Brave Heart mask! Thinking quickly, Conrad pointed in the opposite direction and yelled, "Look over there!"
Every pony turned to look (except for Pinkie Pie, who was still sleeping), and when they turned back Sweetie Belle was standing in front of them and Conrad was hastily stuffing something into his pocket.
"Oh, Sweetie Belle!" Rarity said. "What are you doing here? And where did that other pony go?"
Conrad waved his hand, palm-out, in a wiping motion with two fingers curled into his hand. "There never was any other pony," he said. "It was all just Sweetie Belle."
Rarity frowned. "I know what I saw, Conrad."
Sweetie Belle chose that moment to pipe up. "Oh, that nice mister helped me find my way here. And then when he saw that you guys were here, he left because you're all such wonderful parent-figures and he knew he could trust all of you to look after me. Especially you, Rarity."
"Awwwwww," said the entire herd at this declaration.
Rarity was choked up with tears. "Well, the next time you see that stallion, be sure to thank him for me."
Sweetie Belle was all angelic innocent smiles. Still smiling, she caugh Conrad's attention and muttered, "Amateur."
"Bite me," Conrad muttered back.
"Still, that's no excuse!" Rarity continued. "You shouldn't have come here. Where we're going isn't a safe place for little fillies."
Sweetie Belle pouted. "But Spike gets to go," she said, "and he can't be much older than I am! ... I think. How old is Spike, anyways?" she muttered. "Come to think of it, how old am I?"
Rarity opened her mouth to answer, then paused as well.
"You don't know either," said Sweetie Belle deadpan.
"That's not the point," Rarity replied. "Twilight Sparkle is in charge of Spike, and I'm sure she trusts him to handle himself in a crisis or she wouldn't have brought him along. Don't you, Twilight?"
Rarity turned to Twilight. Twilight's mouth was hanging open and her pupils were constricted in terror.
"Spike!" she said in a choked voice. "We forgot Spike!"
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Inside Twilight Sparkle's Tree House "Castle":
Spike put on a pair of sunglasses and lay back on a collapsible beach chair. Around him were several attractive mares. Some of them were playing volleyball with an inflatable ball and net he'd set up, while others were gathered around him.
"Is it true that you once ate an entire mountain?" one of them asked.
Spike sucked pina colada through a crazy straw. "I may have," he said. "Sometimes I do so many awesome things it's hard to keep track."
The mares around him giggled and cooed at him. One of the mares rubbed at the green protrusions on Spike's head.
"Awwwwww, yissssss," Spike said contentedly.