• Published 18th Dec 2012
  • 5,891 Views, 227 Comments

Ooh Mama... - Mattricole



Discord, now trapped in stone, needs somepony, or someone, stupid enough to free him. And now he has found the perfect candidate, Johnny Bravo.

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The End

Johnny couldn't help but feel just a little bit aggravated. Here was this strange demon llama known as...okay, so he couldn't remember the demon llama's name, but he was fairly certain it was something along the lines of Disco. Anyways, here was Disco, laughing maniacally as he started bragging about taking over Equesswhatever, while Celestia just stood there, yelling about something about 'getting it' or whatever. Honestly, he wasn't paying much attention, he was a little too busy trying to pry the pink and yellow donkey's off of him.

"Now, what am I going to do with you and that stupid hairstyle of your's Johnny?" so when that stupid, ugly, wannabe Star Trek villain insulted his beautiful hair, everything just snapped.

"Now listen here Emperor Kuzco!" he shouted out as he pointed his finger at the flying llama, "you can insult me, you can insult Celestia, but you don't insult the hair you ugly, stupid llama!" he proclaimed as he finally threw off Fluttershy and Pinkie, and leaped at Discord with a high kick.

"For the last time," Discord said as he brought his claw in front of him, "I am not a DEMON LLAMA!" he yelled out as he snapped his claws, freezing Johnny in midair, a tingling sensation coming over his body.

"Ooh mama!" he screamed in pain as he felt his bones shifting positions, bending in ways that was unnatural for a human body. As soon as it started, it quickly ended as he limply fell to the ground, "oh mama that hurt," he said to himself as he scratched his head with a claw...wait.

"HE'S SO CUTE!" Fluttershy gushed as she quickly ran up and grabbed a now tiny, furry version of Johnny into her hooves.

"He's like a little alligator!" Pinkie Pie cooed as she nuzzled Johnny's furry head.

"Wait I'm an alligator!?" Johnny questioned as he tried to look at himself, and noticed a flat tail, "wait, I'm not an alligator, I'm a rat!" he proclaimed, feeling a set of teeth protruding out of his mouth.

"Oh you're both wrong," Fluttershy scolded, "Johnny's clearly a beaver now," she said as she and Pinkie continued to cuddle the now beavertized Johnny Bravo.

"It's just one thing after another, isn't it?" Johnny lamented with a sigh, causing enormous laughter from the one who turned him into a beaver, "oh shut up you stupid goat thing," he yelled out, unable to shake a fist like he would have liked. Curse these stupid donkey's for cuddling with him, "why couldn't they be hot chicks, or better yet, hot sexy chicks!" he said to himself longingly as he imagined being surrounded by hot sexy chicks. He even drooled a tad bit.

"Oh, you want hot sexy chicks do you?" Discord asked with a chuckle, "well, let me give you hot sexy chicks," he said as he raised his paw, eliciting a smile from Johnny.

"Oh yeah, I'm liking where this is going," he said with a smile, as Discord snapped his fingers. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were then enveloped in a bright light, both screaming in shock as they felt their bodies changing form, into two female chickens in bikini's.

"There you go," Discord said with a smile, watching Johnny suffocating in the wings of Fluttershy and Pinkie, "two hot sexy chicks!" he laughed, causing Johnny to growl like a rabid dog.

"Mark my words, I'm gonna kick Disco right in the-"


"NUTS!" Apple Bloom yelled out in disgust, "ah told them no nuts in mah ice cream, and they still give me some," she said with a growl, eliciting a giggle from Diamond Tiara.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," she said as she placed a hoof around her shoulders, "do you want to switch cones?" she offered her mare friend. After school had ended, Diamond Tiara thought it would have been great if they went to the ice cream shop, before heading over to her house to do their homework, since she lived in town. And after that, Diamond Tiara would take her home. Apple Bloom would appreciate it so much, and invite her inside for some hot coffee. Sure, she didn't know how hot coffee was romantic, but if it strengthened their relationship than who was she to question it?

"Switch cones?" Apple Bloom asked back, "but ah already took a bite off o' mine, ya'll alright with that?" she asked with a tilt of her head, eliciting a silent squeal from Diamond Tiara, it was just too cute.

"Of course it's fine!" she replied as she switched her chocolate cone for Apple Bloom's vanilla with nuts, "anything to make you happy," she wiggled her eyebrows, causing Apple Bloom to blush, rubbing her hooves together nervously.

"Say, Diamond?" she prodded her marefriend, "I was wondering, would ya like to come over my house after we finish our homework?" she asked with the sweetest smile, causing Diamond Tiara to smile as well.

"I'd love to Apple Bloom," she said sweetly, grinning all the while. Everything was going according to plan.


"Discord you must stop this madness at once!" Celestia demanded as she stalked towards the Draconequess, "do you not see what harm your chaos is causing to the peaceful denizens of Equestria," she exclaimed, pointing at the deformed Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, followed by the crying Rarity that was being consoled by Applejack. Discord silently rubbed his chin as he studied the ponies, sighing to himself dejectedly.

"Oh Celestia, you're right," he said grimly, causing Celestia to smile for a brief moment, "I can do far better than this!" he said as he snapped his claws, causing the apple trees in the air to wither and rot.

"Mah livelihood!" Applejack shouted out as she watched her farm being destroyed, tears forming in her eyes, "now how am ah gonna support Rarity and our child?" she questioned, her hooves massaging her temples to rid herself of the incoming headache.

"B-but Applejack dear," Rarity began with a sniffle, "we don't have a child, neither of us are pregnant," she stated with a raised eyebrow.

"Neither of us are pregnant yet," Applejack said with a smirk, causing Rarity to gasp, her hooves covering her mouth in surprise.

"You mean?" she asked excitedly, earning a nod from Applejack.

"Let's put that horn o' yours to use milady," she said as she picked up Rarity and dropped her on her back, and galloped into the barn and promptly shut the door. Silence prevailed the land, as all stared wide eyed at the barn which housed the two mares.

"...I don't get it," Johnny broke the silence, his left eyebrow raised as he turned to Flutterchick, "what just happened?"

"Um, well," Fluttershy stuttered, trying to come up with an explanation, "well, um, you'll find out when you're older," she said simply, earning a grunt from Johnny.

"Nobody tells me anything," he whined as he crossed his arms with a pout.

"Ha, and you want me to stop? You have to admit Celestia, that was funny!" Discord said with a chuckle, taking glances at the barn.

"No, it's not," Celestia replied with a glare, "toying with other's emotions is despicable and you know better Discord!" she scolded, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Oh, well in that case, I'll stop all of my evil doing and become boring like you!" he mocked, transforming himself into Celestia with a bored expression, a book held in place by magic that read, "How To Be Boring For Dummies", causing Celestia to scowl, "you didn't honestly think you could convince me to stop did you?" he asked, transforming back to himself with a condescending scowl.

"No actually," she replied with a smirk, "I only needed to stall you," she finished, causing Discord to raise an eyebrow.

"Stall?" he questioned, when a sudden kick to the head lurched him forward and landing head first into the dirt.

"HUZZAH! WE HAVE COME TO DEFEND OUR PONIES!" Luna yelled out as she landed next to her sister, "AND WE HATH BROUGHT THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!" she yelled as she opened the chest, revealing the six elements of harmony.

"Good job Luna, now-"

"How are you going to use those if you're missing three of the elements?" Discord asked with a smirk, causing Celestia to blanch.

"Oh no, we forgot Rainbow Dash," Celestia facehoofed, feeling a migraine coming on, "how could we forget her?" she scolded herself, having trouble keeping her voice steady.

"FEAR NOT SISTER!" Luna yelled right in her ear, causing her to cringe, "FOR WE ART ALICORNS, AND WITH OUR COMBINED MIGHT WE SHALL VANQUISH DISCORD, FOREVER!" she yelled once more, causing Celestia's visible eye to twitch.

"Luna, indoor voices please," she quietly said to her sister, scowling at her as if she were a disobedient filly.

"BUT WE ART OUTSIDE DEAREST SISTER!" Luna replied loudly, increasing the pain of Celestia's already splitting migraine.

She's your sister Celestia, your adorable, clumsy, baby sister reminiscing about Luna's childhood always calmed her down, she really was adorable, and it made tolerating Luna's Canterlot Voice that much easier, especially when imagining filly Luna attempting to intimidate with it. But now was not the time of sweet memories, now was the time to handle Discord.

At that thought the world shook violently, large fissures formed all around them, tearing the very planet apart. The world was ending.

"Discord, what are you doing!?" Celestia demanded, flying high into the sky to avoid falling to her death. Discord looked at her with panic in his eyes, his eyes darting all around him.

"I-I don't know! I'm not doing this!" he replied as he snapped his fingers, attempting to stop the massive earthquake. It was futile. If anything the earthquake increased in magnitude, ponies screamed in terror as they ran for their lives, many falling into the voids that formed around them. It was then that he realized his mistake. Johnny had stayed for far too long, the chaos he brought with him was too much for the planet to handle.

"Why is it every planet I visit ends in a horrible explosion?" Johnny asked himself. He really needed to stop doing that.

Discord watched as Celestia and Luna desperately tried to save the lives of their citizens. They were however unable to hold all of the ponies in their magic. It was no good. Even if they could save their lives, without a planet they would all die in less than a second. He knew what he had to do. Using his magic, he turned Johnny back to normal.

"Whoa, what the-" then without wasting another second, promptly sent him back to where he belonged. And at that moment, Equestria was no more.


"Oh mama," Johnny whined as he sat up. He was back in his bedroom, resting on the floor, "what happened?" he asked himself as he got up. It was then that his memories came flooding back to him. Discord, Skittles, the purple narwal, and the world exploding.

"Oh man, I really screwed up this time," Johnny lamented as he sat on his bed, "if it weren't for me and my selfish desires, those ponies wouldn't have..." he trailed off as he thought of all his new friends, now gone forever because of his stupidity, "Oh man, if only I could-"

"Johnny!" he heard his momma call, "time for dinner!"

"Oh boy, dinner!" Johnny exclaimed happily as he quickly rushed downstairs, completely forgetting about Equestria as he did so.