• Member Since 17th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 24th, 2019

BaryonBrony


Current Writer Self-Challenge: Write a human in equestria story I can be proud of. Stigma be damned!

T
Source

It has been one of the closest guarded secrets of Canterlot's royalty. Deep in a specially constructed dungeon, surrounded by warding spells and powerful magic barriers, exists an enigma. Within a cage that could only be described as something out of a nightmare, it waits and watches all of Equestria. A creature that cannot age, is immune to disease, does not thirst nor hunger, and resists all injury. But, it also holds secrets and knowledge that could safeguard the kingdom. Its powers are frightening, but it is civil enough for debate when patience permits.

Princess Celestia has sought counsel with the creature before, enduring it making deal after deal for its services. The Princess walks a fine line when dealing with it, knowing full well anything could give it an advantage despite its imprisonment. She has had to go back on her word in these dealings, and from this a deep animosity between them has been born. It is a necessary evil as she is convinced this is a being capable of untold evil far and above anything Equestria has ever dreamed of. So long as it remains within the confines of its cell, her kingdom is made safe. So much magic has been woven to ensure that, there is little chance of escape.

So long as the magic holds, there is no danger. So long as the cage remains strong, the nameless creature stays enthralled in his cavernous dwelling. If that were to change--if the magic failed--not even the wisest could say. But one thing is assured, it does not bode well for Equestria.

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 1838 )

Hm, interesting premise. Gonna read it now.

Oh god, reading the text is like stabbing yourself with long, rusty knife to the stomach and then slowly twisting it around.....oddly arousing too. Good work, keep writing this, it's interesting.

Okay I want to see more of this. And see what he can do.

Heh, I do wonder what tune he was humming now. For some reason, this comes to mind

5503531 You and me both for a long time. I finally settled something else though.

5503313 Thanks! I think? I dunno if that's good. Is that good? Ah well, tally onwards!

Well, I just finished reading the chapters that are out so far, and I gotta say, you got a very good story going here.

Drama, secrets, violence and whatnot, it got enough to intrigue the reader, leaving them wanting for more.

I wait in anticipation to see where you are taking this story.

Keep up the good work.
:moustache:

not gory enough. you could have the entire room smeared with the guards blood, maybe an inch of the floor filled with it? or maybe the message written in their entrails?

Just wanted to say your setup already has me hating Celestia like no other story has, And its pretty in character too... Now I can't wait to see her suffer, and her utopia be destroyed.

I love fun stories like these...

perfect example, monsters are not born they are made

This reminds me of the story "Millenium" which is an awesome story!!! So keep it up!

Wow this is amazing!!!

Moar! Moar!!!!!

Oh, come on Celestia. Assuming that nothing worse happens to you, that is a cheap price indeed.

I realize that he doesn't like lightning, but it really wasn't clear why said creature would cruelly end the lives of those only following rules and duties not set forth by them. Was it so hard to pass them by? To call this fellow a monster seems potentially misleading. His actions and deeds may be monstrous, but it seems pretty obvious that he isn't Tirek by any means.

I suppose he's mad (and not just in the sense of anger), but it seems a tad out of place. I would imagine most of it's hatred would be reserved for Celestia.

Holy shit... this is what I have been waiting for.

5504495
now that's what I call edgey.

I can't help but imagine Tobias looking like this:i.imgur.com/td2k98W.jpg

Which is ironic seeing as he is weak to lightning.

5504684 Holy balls... I can see that too. I'm getting a commission of ole Tobi... but damn if this isn't close as hell to what I have in my head

5503823 While this idea is insanely appealing, I had something else in mind. Bear with me! Gore tag for a reason, ^^

The bloodsport is not far off.

5504485 *slams a red bull* this guy has waited long enough... must write fasterrrrrrr

5504495 Now all we need is a motorcycle

Color me intrigued. Added to my read later list.

I don't think I can go crazy. You know what that makes me? That makes me maddeningly sane."

I like this quote.

Absolutely no sympy for Celestia. She deserves everything she's about to get. I'd understand treating something that committed manslaughter that way for a couple of years, maybe. But for hundreds?

Holy shit we need more of this now!!!

5504856 After class, that will be goal for the night

5504723
Aww. The shock and awe was going so well without the cheap shock value of gore, too.
Ah, well. Please don't make it too gory, I guess.

5504891 I have no intention of having a gorefest, I promise you

Hmm, the premise sounds very familiar to something I've been working on for the past few months. Haven't published it yet, but still, it's giving me a strange sense of deja vu....

5504864 Well then thats her business. Only shows her to be a prideful hypocrite. Still no sympy.
5504902 [youtube= http://youtu.be/XA-4B2d4L18]

...This is fucking phenomenal.

5505035 oh crap! What would you suggest?

you got featured

5504924 I wonder if this is a more popular idea than I thought...

I read through this on one sitting, seems interesting enough for a track. Let's see how this turns out, shall we? :moustache:

5504475 You know, they might be still alive.

Via

Pre-Reading comment!
Fifty bits that the creature is a human.
Mid-Reading comment
I MOTHERFUCKING CALLED IT!
Post-Reading comment:
Yup, I'm reading this.

-SYA, The Horse

Via

Pre-Reading comment
Still waiting for my fifty bits.
Mid-Reading comment
So, he's a fortuneteller. Good to know.
Post-Reading comment.
I NEED MORE OF THIS
Also

"Are you not forgetting something, fraulein?

SAPIEN CONFIRMED FOR NAZI SCIENTIST

-SYA, The Horse

2D

5505052

"It looks like you have some formatting issues," 2D-senpai said with a light grin. Although he was considered by most to be a huge asshole, he actually really enjoyed reading this story, and feels like helping out for once.
"Oh geez," Baryon-kun said halfheartedly. "What should I do?"

"It'd probably be better if you just formatted your story like this," said the wily senpai as he twirled around on the spot. "Of course, you could always keep indenting your paragraphs, too."

"But that's not telling me anything!" Baryon-kun said loudly. "I don't get what you me— oh, oh."

Via

Sapien was whistling this tune. I don't know what it was, but I swear it is still stuck in my head. There's no doubts about it, he's one bad egg inside that cage."

no
no
NONONO
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
MUST...
WHISTLE.
AAAGGGGH

-SYA, The Horse

5504439 I don't know. I'm suddenly remembering all the stories I've read that had a monster that would suck out your soul the moment your lips met it's.

And I'm not talking about just the Dementors.

Good chapter, definately a change of pace for our poor guards. Hope 'The Sapien' manages to get through to Celestia that he's not all evil. And holds her to her promises.

5505263 your predictions are freakishly accurate

Via

5505351 Thus is the power of the horse.

-SYA, The Horse

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