• Member Since 13th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen March 26th



Long ago Celestia imprisoned a powerful, dangerous entity. Too bad nobody seems to realize he's a harmless dope.

This story started out as a parody of the two stories Machinations in the Dark and Celestia's Prophet. You may wish to read them first to get some context for the first chapter.

Now has a tvtropes page!

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 526 )

Hahahahah! :rainbowlaugh:

Had me laughing throughout the story. Great parody on the other stories aswell.
But, to be honest, this could just aswell be a standalone story, by just having the human go around, being all nonchalant about the chaos that just happens around him, and him just not giving a fuck.

Shocks #3 · Mar 12th, 2015 · · · Hi! ·

That title is too fucking good!

Ha! This is how a parody is done! Great work!

Machinations in the Dark of Celestia's Prophet

Edit: Dark of Celestia? That are worse than the molestia in background.

A decent satire of Celestia and co´s stupidity in this kind of stories. "OMG! IS BIPEDAL, HAIRLESS AND TALK! THE HORROR! LOCK IT AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!"

... I that was seriously if any race cant ... he wasn't even an elder god and ...seriously he should look like a bad minotaur what are the other species walling them in for there sanity or something? how can anything so pathetic survive... ( the sheer ridiculousness and stupidity of this.... I not sure if I should laugh or lay my head against the wall.)

This is great.

All I gotta say is... " You leave him alone, He don't know any better"?!:flutterrage:

Dam and he's supposed to be the slow one?:trixieshiftright:

The worst part? There all doing it to themselves.

Oh this was quite epic :rainbowlaugh:

Rejigged #13 · Mar 13th, 2015 · · 1 · Hi! ·

Machinations of Celestia's Prophet would have been better.

Oh my jesus this is perfect.

zel #15 · Mar 13th, 2015 · · 4 · Hi! ·

hey, it is actually better than aegis' story! which is actually not that difficult to pull off, but still, congratulations nevertheless.

For a moment, I thought he was humming the theme of Terminator 2. I wonder if that might've lent some credence to their fear of him? :twilightoops:

Simply brilliant.
Bravo, good sir. Bravo.



Yessss, this is brilliant. XD screw this premise, loved this fic though.

This truly made me smile. :)

My reaction:

I was laughing almost the whole way. Damn fine, you get two thumbs up fine sir!


The stupidity is outstanding.

WE NEED sequel!

5733619 Even better.

All hail the glorious abcd_z!!! :yay:

I enjoyed this far more than I probably should have considering how I haven't read anything more than the brief opening description of one of the fics you're parodying.

And yet here I sit, intensely amused and with Mario dungeon music stuck in my head.

You are a masterful genius, sir. And Conrad deserves a cookie. (And some video games, poor guy must be very bored.)

5732741 The irony will be when they all realize they've been in MY prison the whole time!

Which is totally not the Matrix... it's... uhm... the Lattice!

Totally unique and original! :twilightoops:

Alondro #28 · Mar 14th, 2015 · · 4 · Hi! ·

5729835 It does a fine job of pointing out how silly the All Powerful God Human thing is.

By the way, I believe it all stems from the old Twilight Zone episode where there was a dude in prison who knew the future and it was because he was the creator of the world and if they killed him they'd cease to exist.

Works great as a short story for the impact of the twist, but these fanfics drag out whatever the reveal is going to be sooooo painfully long!

This shit is what makes fimfiction great

This was absolutely the best thing in the history of best things.
Thirteen-thousand three hundred thirty seven out of ten.

anon12 #32 · Mar 14th, 2015 · · 1 · Hi! ·

LOL brilliant you can have all my likes!
By the way you know that the Hiatus of the show has gone on too long when we start making fan fics of fan fics.
Not that Fan fics of fan fics is a bad thing as they can be hilarious as this one just find it amusing is all.

We've doing since long before the hiatus. Where have you been?

MOAR!!! I NEED MORE!!!:derpytongue2: EVEN DERPY WANT'S MOAR!!!


I had no idea it would get this popular, but as I told another author, if you have a premise that people enjoy, the rational thing to do is to milk it for all it's worth.

I have just changed the story from "complete" to "incomplete", and I should have another chapter out by tomorrow.

No guarantees it'll be as good, but let's see where this goes.

And I just noticed it's labeled as 'Incomplete'.

...Ooooohhhh, boy. This is gonna get fun.


Yeah. It was originally a one-shot, but it got insanely popular so I decided to continue the story.

I have no idea if it will be as good without another story to draw from, but I figure I might as well give it a shot.

I love the walrus in your avatar

This was the first thing I thought of when I found both stories.

Dammit why can't I hit the like button more then once!
Oh well I guess my favourite will have to do.

For some reason, I can see Celestia doing this... these crazy stories must have damaged my mind...

an1979 #45 · Mar 14th, 2015 · · 1 · Hi! ·

Celestia screamed, jumping to her feet.

The remaining guard sprinted to get to the slowly-lowering door, but tripped over his own feet and landed short of the gate.

That, that... freak!

He is changing them bit by bit with his super powers!

Is this going to be the new human cosplays then goes to equestria as cosplay charecter thing?

That was the best way to end my day. :rainbowlaugh:

Also I initially thought that was Sheldon from The Big Bang in the cover art. The idea of him being in Equestria is just... just... I think maybe I need to write a story. :trixieshiftright:

Maybe it's because I have a slow cousin, but I just mainly found this kind of sad. Good story though!:pinkiehappy:

"Maybe some toys to play with, or something? I mean, I don't really need them because I've come up with this great game where I pretend that the bricks in the walls are platforms seen from the side, and then I imagine a little man running across them and jumping over them, like a tiny Mario, but it would be nice if I had some props or something to play with."

Is it bad that I legitimately do this sometimes? I also used to imagine there was a little man jumping from lamppost to tree to house during car journeys. I still do sometimes. I'm not crazy I swear.

I know that feels.

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