Trees shorter than they should be, buildings smaller than preferred, a world filled with creatures bigger than him, yet others are near microscopic from his perspective.
Trying to find out where he should fit in is hard, because he is not too small, but most definitely bigger than most. Once he connects to the dominant civilization, a whole new world of opportunities is revealed before him.
He will walk as a giant. He will walk with giants. He will walk alone.
Edited by Newbiedoodle, CheesewedgeFTW, Immortan Joe, and Silas
Chapters (10)
An interesting concept, my dear author! I shall look into this later.
Okay turns out I had more free time than I thought, time to read!
*Beginning*
Okay overall this is still an interesting concept, your writing style isn't bad in the slightest. Matter of fact the amount of detail and your choice of words in the descriptions make this read rather entertaining.
But the problem I do have with this story though the character's dialogue. I found myself in the beginning of this story cringing at the Mane six's conversation. It felt very clunky and lifeless to me, I find it hard to describe because I myself have never been in this position. Actually I found myself in the opposite, I always had trouble with descriptions but have astounding dialogue and keeping the canon characters in check.
But alas as I continued to read I found the dialogue proceedingly getting worse. Rainbow Dash is constantly spouting her usually one liners, Twilight it being her smart self as usual, and so forth for the rest of the characters. Yes this is to be expected seeing that these are already characters with personalities we've all come to know. But then again we already see where this is going.
*Half Way*
Now we get to the giant human, possibly the "biggest" relief I get so far. The only problem I really see with this so far is, the giant seems very accepting of this. Reading his thoughts I'm now beginning to think this man is bloody Bear Grylls, it literally reads as if he'd plan this, which in a way he kinda did when I soon found out he was originally on a camping trip. Which now brings question on how he got to Equestria, which might actually be the first of Arc of this story.
I think this sentence needs a bit of rewording, seems very out of place compared to the rest.
You could probably shorten this thought a bit.
*Finished and Ending thoughts*
This story has potential, shit this story could actually be outstandingly fantastic. But surely it needs work, already I've found a few cliches a man coming into Equestria not freaking out. But what I do like what you did is instead of having him flip shit, instead you made him relatively confused. But him finding them cute and flipping out over them seemed kinda... odd.
I'm assuming your character is a hiker and loves nature, so I could see that kinda justified. So I'll let that slide. Other than that the final half with the mane six, again was really freaking weird. The pony dialogue really needs work my friend, I suggest getting an editor or even a few pre readers.
Shit hire an army like I do for my fics, the more the merrier. I hope you find this informative first time I actually done something like this. Just fix the pony dialogue, build your human character, give him personality maybe mention his family and home life and you'll have a good character. Avoid the cliches do not go down the ex soldier line *please don't do that for a while I thought he was going to be one* and I can assure you this story could be a success.
Love my man, keep it up got my attention.
I wonder if he has lots of gadgets?
There's always that one guy who would downvote a good story such as this. I love this! Why the downvote?
*definitely
Ooooooohhhh you beat me, I was going to write a giant human in Equestria first.
In the description:
Is that supposed to be "definitely"?
I am reminded of those early mlp meme pictures.
Such as:
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/f4/e8/81/f4e881cc33255bf320d851299e8f5f57.jpg
...Would that be an accurate size difference, right there?
Well, I'm no survivalist, but I'd think eating the internal organs of a creature would be inherently less safe than the flesh. Much higher chemical concentrations, and all that. Shark liver, for example, can contain lethal doses of vitamin E.
Never seen a story quite like this one. Definitely following it.
an interesting concept but your characters are OOC,and you are jumping around from first to third person within your points of view.
4476798
I had been imagining them about 2/3 of that size, I wouldn't know which is accurate though.
4476860
No, he's not switching first and third person perspectives at all. The whole giant section was "he" ... can you not distinguish italicized thoughts from the rest of the paragraph? If you can't, you have no business pointing that out as an "error" in the first place since it's not one at all.
Finally! I've always wanted to see this kind of fic.
4476923 Eh. Maybe the guy in the picture has small hands.
And this is how a human in Equestira should go calling the mane 6 cute and fluffy
All the characters "sound" the same. Quite frankly I felt that Applejack and Fluttershy were rather out of character without their speech inflections.
Looks good, will follow.
Perfect
This I like!
You have my attention.
More please
Aaand Fav'd.
Fuuuuuuuuck!!!
Why do my ideas keep getting used before I can use theeeeeemmm???
Give me a few moments and I'll get to reading. I just need a little pity party going for myself.
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As a relatively new person to the writing side of this website, I do not have a way to accurately describe my initial reaction to the story's huge success, but Rainbow says it quite nicely
so yeah, this came to me as a surprise.
I would think that this would have been done before in a similar fashion, apparently not...
4476016
I agree in that I am in desperate need of an editor or two, but for the record, I just finished my high school junior year. I have much to learn about professional writing.
That said I would appreciate a recommendation for an editor, as I said, I'm new to the writing biz.
And something tells me from the comments that I need to work on my dialogue, duly noted. Perfect excuse to rewatch some episodes!
Otherwise, I will continue to write this story as much as possible!
Truly lovely.
Looking forward to more!
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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So... ponies are small enough so that he can fit two of them in a single hand?
anyways, faved, upvoted, and followed
liked and faved, i hope you keep writing this, i can't wait
There's something about the character dialogues, they seem... odd, wrong even. I think it comes off too clinically to be natural ways of speaking, not to mention that the mane six are somewhat OOC.
Also, try to stick to either first or third person when writing.
The giant concept has always been a fun one to play with, but I think your story may be the first time I've ever seen it taken with any kind of seriousness.
I look forward to reading more of this.
However, the scale seems to be slightly inconsistent. If the trees only come up to his waist, the castle ruins should be far too small for him to be in; the trees come up to the midway point on it too, after all.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131202170325/mlp/images/7/74/Castle_of_the_Two_Sisters_at_nighttime_S4E03.png
Saying the tictacs are the size of an apple to a pony puts them on scale with a mouse, meaning that the manticore should have been much smaller than a cat; probably around the size of a rat.
As for the survival aspect, well, I'd say that it's mostly fine. You could have played around with it a bit more, made the first chapter longer, so he has a chance to see more sights, but that's okay. I personally don't like the shovaxe as a tool—I think it's impractical—but to each his own.
I was planning to write a one-shot like this as practice... but I suppose you beat me to it. I was planning on the scale being that Celestia is the size of a house-cat.
If people are still having trouble with the size this is a representation of what I'm going for.
static.trustedreviews.com/94/000029771/c94e/one-max-3.jpg
This is the HTC One Max smart Phone (I own one which is why I'm using it as a representation). It is a 164.5mm X 82.5mm device. Twilight could perfectly stand on the front surface area.
The manticores would be large cats, the Tacs could still be compared to an apple (as said in the story, a small one) and if two ponies were sitting, one could fit per hand.
4477582
They are the flesh, and we are the hunters!
4477376
You can always do your own version. There is never a limit based around a single story idea.
I should first say that I really like this story, and hope you continue. It's a unique idea, and for your first fic it's well written.
I should also point out the grammar mistakes I found, since I've seen other people around this site do this in reviews and wanted to try it for once.
left
seriousness. Serious is an adjective; fun, the way you've used it, is a noun.
doesn't
I can think of a few ways to rephrase this - "It was unusual in that it had no sheath, exposing its blade", perhaps?
You seem to be misusing its and it's. It's means it is or it has. Say,
Its is possessive. Say,
The dialogue's a bit off, too. As a general rule, Rainbow Dash might use the % line once in a fanfic, to homage the meme.
Another off bit is
Think of it this way - can you actually picture Rainbow Dash saying "creature or animal" out loud? Would she use the word average in a sentence?
4476016
Although to be fair, yes he should be worried about getting home but it's hard to be afraid for one's person when you are a literal giant.
4478263
Let's ride on a 3-Dimensional Gear of Love, over the Titans of Friendship...and then KILL THEM.
But the important question is this:
Are Man's atoms human reality sized, or pony reality sized?
Also, I like that he doesn't immediately identify them as ponies. MLP ponies look like ponies in only the vaguest sense.
4478252 I never said he had to be afraid, but being worried or even the slightest bit nervous would help give him more character. Yes there is one part where he questions why he's tall or where he is. But that is it and surely won't be enough, seeing that there is no comedy tag. The author may be trying to take this story seriously.
So in order to take the main character seriously he's going to have to show more emotion besides, "Gotta drink my own piss to survive because that's what the discovery channel said (or specifically Bear Grylls)"
Which can easily be developed in ways such as these:
Over time through the Protagonist's journey back home, he begins to slowly lose hope.
Or you can take the cliche route and have Celestia or one of the main six flat out tell him.
Or my personal favorite, flash backs or dreams of the Protagonist's home life.
(You could even do all three of these)
It's good to have nice back stories for your Protagonist it develops good character, another thing is personality and how he reacts with other characters (A.K.A personality).
Which we did get those things (save for the flash backs and solution if can get home or not) but in only little doses. Which isn't bad at all, but as of now. All I received from this story is that our Protagonist is fascinated by neature and that he's obsessed with Bear Grylls and the Discovery Channel.
4477385 If you ever need help friend, just remember, of Sunday on the sixth month, at dawn. Look to the horizon and you'll see me, standing there and if you really, really need help. Call me and I'll come, (but I'm not good at zee grammarzz... but I'll help you with plot and character development–oh and dialogue.)
You don't really need to wait that long just hit me up whenever you need assistance. Preferably every chapter if you want me as a proof reader/editor guy from space Mars.
4478392
I could write a short epic about what you described, in fact I will! Be right back!
4478500 That's what I'm here for, to provide ideas for you and help you exceed at making really interesting characters and plot devices.
Its like Paul Bunion, but with magic, and instead of a blue cow, he gets to ride a dragon (hopefully).
This. Is. Adorable.
Seriously, awesome work! The only 'advice' I can give is to work on dialog and grammer, but this is honestly pretty great already.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
4478055 It's the principle of the matter my friend.
KIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOjjjjjjjjjIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
4479154 True... but it still doesn't stop you. hell it could be a man/woman and their group of friends that end up in Equestria.... or maybe they are like half the size of the ponies or something.