I'm... not sure what happened. I remember the unicorn guy, what was his name? Starmswill the Tearded? I don't know, names are kinda off for me right now. So anyway, there I was with this unicorn then, BOOM! I found myself in the middle of his laboratory, albeit ruined.
Bit strange, isn't it?
So I started to walk, following this odd looking stripey thing, and found this cute little town. Seriously, it's utterly adorable.
And that's when I saw her, the lovely Celestia... ah, it sends my gears a flutter! Although I don't know who the blue alicorn is... or the lavender one... wait, I don't know anyone here apart from Celestia!
Thanks to Infinite Carnage for pre-reading and Draconian Soul with help on Zecora. Go check out their stuff! Cover art was done by myself.
This looks very interesting!
YES! IT'S HERE! Time to lose what shreds of what remains of my damned soul to this fic. Lovely picture, btw.
He seems quite conversational and witty, judging from the cover art that is. Better dive in then!
Brilliant as always.
Great, now I've got the giggles.
Umm...did Starswirl try to transfer his mind into an immortal mechanical body to be with Celestia forever, only for it to not work quite right?
Its hoof not hood
Very good, but not enough shrek
I will read this later okay? I have... stuff to do. But, from the title and description alone, I give it a thumb!
4213252
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/you_didnt_see_anything_madagascar.gif
Thanks for the spot.
What a marvellous concept! You also made the chapters overlay each other rather well.
Just one thing:
Do gears wire? I think you might mean ground.
4213474
And thanks for the error spot, fixed it. 
Left over from an earlier version of the sentence.
Thank you.
4213394
Your welcome
beast not beat.
4213533
Fix'd
4213481
Anything for the senior deity of the Youngverse.
4213547
Replace the s with a z.
4213570
Actually, that one isn't an error. It's one of those US v UK spellings, you guys use a Z and we use an S. Both are correct though.
4213588 I actually prefer the UK spelling myself but not alot of my English teachers accepted it.
I actually had to re-read that before I burst out laughing.
I find some Americanisms odd.
4213689
-Chuckles- Birds.
Brilliant! Simply brilliant i can't wait to se where this is going
4213588
Fair enough, quick question. Is the automaton Star Swirl's conscience inside a metal shell?
too, not to
4213731
I cannot confirm or deny that.
4213733
Fix'd, thank you for pointing that out.
Excellent start on this Mr101!! I am really looking forward to seeing more in the future.
4213731 The answer to that questions is... Wait what?
img.pandawhale.com/38964-spoilers-gif-zEQX.gif
Oh right. Sorry, looks like you'll just have to wait to find out.
4213745
Hmm, something tells me I guessed your endgame and/or subplot.
4213801
I cannot confirm or deny that.
Aww, Celestia has a giant steampunk robot fanboy.
...
I am torn as to how to feel about this.
4213394 dear lord that penguin's eyes are creepy.
I do like how oblivious it is to its intimidation factor. just waving at ponyville?
4213808
Curse You Trollestia
4213789
No the answer is this.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQztkTcfzGYQJgsYHTaaNw-HEdcgqc_CqhRxXlZcDRmO4ID9eHJ-w
I have so many "Iron Giant" vibes from this.
You're is short for you are, I'd get rid of the 'are'.
Period after twitched
I would suggest changing this to 'the last time Ponyville'
Everything else is in the past tense, why isn't this?
This doesn't seem to be phrased like a question.
This one is pretty self explanatory.
Too
Unnecessary comma.
What? How long are the princesses going to take to get there?
I would suggest using 'an hour or so' or 'an hours time' not both of them.
This makes no sense, grammatical or otherwise. Anyway, I would put 'infernal gaming contraption', that way it's actually a contraption and not a slur on Celestia's part.
I would sepperate this, like so, 'Uh-huh'
Figure.
run on sentence as well as a missed comma, see the little red dot? Yeah, add that dot and replace its circular cousin with one and it'll be good. Also, princess' is possessive, princesses is plural.
This makes little sense considering the situation, while not technically wrong, something like, 'Rarity? Where? Spike said' would make more sense from the reader's point of view.
Why Is Zecora in the trees and not whatever is watching her?
Passed, I would also put the second part in the part tense. 'and her eyes went wide as she came face to face with a large timberwolf.' Like that.
Make it 'I'm warning you' or I warn you'
you have plural vials here, vial's is possessive.
What's a vialt?
Capitalization
While it is correct, I would use something less unknown to the average reader.
All in all, very good. The plot is original, and aside from a few grammatical errors very well executed. I approve.
you know, I expected for the metal creature to be misunderstood and driven away. Even if he is in hiding, he is determined to get his Celestia even though their "love" might never be..... or can it!?
Really nice story so far, has a bunch of mistakes along the way, but overall good ... Id advise you to get a proofreader
Though i really like the story' the first and the second chapter seems to be complete copies of one and other ... Though one has more detail
4214200 Wow... I didn't even notice any of those mistakes.
… Whatever the hell this thing is, I wanna find out. Consider me a loyal follower!
Um, I'm greatly confused here. Emeralds aren't inherently red, rather a shade of green. Are you perhaps looking for rubies; which are red, or did you just use the emeralds name as a description since they're another kind of gem?
Ah! Of course! It all makes sense!
4214934 Not always - Red beryls are also called 'Red Emeralds' or 'Scarlet Emeralds'.
4214934
Actually, there is a type of emerald that is inherently red. According to Wikipedia, anyway. It is extremely rare, and is found primarily in Utah.
I'm assuming that the "I warning you" part was intentional, but maybe replace the comma at the end with a period?
I'm going to assume for a moment that the robot is Archimedes.
He kinda reminds me of Big Daddy.
10/10 would fave again.
Interesting! It has mistakes but I like the idea!
I will be waiting on this!
Before you fall! AVOID COMMON CLICHES! I FREKKING HATE THAT.
4215102
4215102 Okay that makes more sense. Thanks for clearing that up.
HAHAHA!! Oh that's Priceless!
I can just Imagine it!
4215214
Actually, no. The quote and the non-quote are all part of the same sentence.
Missed that one
My goodness! Methinks Starswirl turned into a robot and traveled to the future.
Or if I misread something, reactivated after not properly transferring his essence into the machine.
I like the premise and hope this is as good as I think it'll be!