• Member Since 17th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 24th, 2019


Current Writer Self-Challenge: Write a human in equestria story I can be proud of. Stigma be damned!


Cadence is all that's left. Her last companion made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure she could escape. Now, there is no one that was spared by the catastrophe that overwhelmed everything and everyone. Her only option left is to turn to the last pony she could imagine as an ally. Her powers useless, her hopes vanquished, Cadence must be prepared to fight for all she has left to save even a part of what remains...No matter the cost to herself. But, is it already too late?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 15 )

This is quite interesting! I wonder what Chrysalis will ultimately decide!

I'm loving this story. Please continue it! :twilightsmile:

Looks like I was rewarded for putting this on my read later list.
Now to move it to my tracking list.:twilightsmile:

Go on...

Chrysalis turned away from the princess and into the dark gloom of her outer chambers. Her voice took on a vicious hiss as she said, "I needed to know what murdered my daughters, and you had just enough knowledge. You gave me all I required."

"What was it?"

Chrysalis' head whipped back around, her eyes glowing dangerously as she hissed through her teeth, "a target."

"a target."

*Intense action music*

You misspelled a couple of pronouns here and there and there were a couple of points where it was tricky to figure out who was talking without rereading the line five times.

"Revenge is for those ho have nothing and want nothing.

'ho' should be 'who'

Im afraid I cant help with the writing process beyond enthusiasticly waiting for moar:twilightsheepish:


Thanks for the update! Kinda why I asked for a beta reader, no matter how many edits I go through something ALWAYS slips through. Hopefully I will improve and continue to write awesomeness.

Also that picture made me LOL so I hard I blew a bloodvessel. I approve of such hilarity.

No problem!:twilightsmile:

As for beta readers, theres a newer group currently getting promoted by Pen Stroke called Authors helping Authors which is large group of peer reviewing authors reviewing for a review. Sounds like a good system.
There are other groups out there with editors and pre-readers, just need to look around for them

YES!! More awesomeness!!

Applebloom's "god damn it..." face in it makes Scootaloo even better in my mind.

I feel this story is like the dejected younger brother of the school football team's quarterback, consistently outshined despite its grandiose merit on its own.

Is this one dead, or do you have any vague plans of continuation?

5707386 I love this story, but lost the time and will to continue. That has changed, and I have every intention of returning to it at some point this year

Well Well Well, looky here.

I definitely think this could use a rewrite, as you've grown as an author. MitD should probably take top priority, but other than that you should try to continue this.

If you need a beta reader and editor, I would be more than willing to help as I recently came upon this story. I hope to hear from you if you accept, as I would like to see this story continue.

5988553 I want to continue this story, and have been rebuilding its plot on one of my plot-boards (big whiteboards that I put plot points and notes on)

I heartily appreciate your offer, and will take you up on it in a heartbeat. I may not wait until Machinations is complete to restart this either. Need to really pump out some stories, but not all at once lest my brain tires. I hope to have something editable done for this... uh... soon. Very soon.

Okay, thanks for letting me know. If you need an example of my editing, I have been editing a story called The Last Descendant for a while if you wanted to check it out. By the way, if you read it, do not take the first 2 chapters as an example, as i started editing it 2 chapters in.

By Nurgle! That was an interesting reveal.

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