• Member Since 21st Feb, 2013

Officer Hotpants


Quando omni flunkus, moritati

Nonsensical Stories 56 stories
  • Nonsensical Stories 56 stories - 43 unread chapters "...For if you go back through the way you came in the daM doG will swallow your mind."
    Created by Officer Hotpants
    - October, 2014
Found 33 stories in 42ms

Total Words: 797,859
Estimated Reading: 2 days

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"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.


Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

Chapters (12)
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Tirek threatens to take over all of Equestria with his magic-stealing powers. In order to keep him from obtaining their alicorn magic, the four princesses must hide their power away...

... in an old potato.

Chapters (1)
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1 month after first contact between Equestria and the nations of Earth, both worlds decide to host a meeting to discuss their scientific knowledge. Nothing can prepare the human scientists for the horrors awaiting them.


Cover Image from http://blog.4tests.com/new-science-testing-way/

Chapters (1)