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So, I got blasted by some mages in my world, and now I'm in a completely new one. I'm something called a 'kirin', and I've lost my opposable thumbs. Surprisingly, it wasn't a polymorph spell either! My magic has gone completely wack. I burned down a forest. And apparently I'm the first ever Kirin to have alicorn magic, which sounds awesome right? Well, not when you're constantly combusting into flames! I never wanted this! And for some reason these ponies keep treating me so nicely. Even after I keep screwing everything up. How hard is it to act like normal for once in my life?

What? There's nothing wrong with me! Please don't send me back...

Cover art by: Ziper Ace
Featured on: 2023 - 4/13, 4/17, 4/22 and quite a few more... Thanks everyone!

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

I got dragged to Equestria by pure accident due to an experiment gone 'wrong', roughly forty years before Nightmare Moons' arrival.
No matter what I do, as a pony-changeling hybrid, something will change with Equestria. I just hope I don't doom the country before Nightmare Moon even arrives... Or worse.

This is the first story I ever tried to write professionally, so there WILL be errors, for that, I apologize in advance.
I'm editing and proofreading it on my own because I literally suck when it comes to using this site competently.
Lastly, I am a slow writer due to IRL getting in the way but I will try my hardest to settle the story down whether it's popular or not.

Fair warning, there may be spoilers in the comments.

Thank you to Little Tigress for the fantastic cover art.

Revered by their populace, the four immortal Alicorns have ruled Equestria with benevolence and kindness for five centuries, curating a meticulous balance that must not be disturbed. The Two-One system has survived everything that was thrown at it, and anything that threatens to disrupt that balance should be crushed at all costs.

Right?

DISCLAIMER: Sex tag ONLY for innuendo and jokes! Only a minor AU, VERY LITTLE has been changed from canon!
WARNING: Contains A LOT of profanity because I can't help myself
Fantastic cover art provided by Hoodwinked MCShelster on DeviantArt!
Proofread and edited by DarthBall, newbie, T0ucan, and Pen Dragon
Additional help provided by various members of the Changing Expectations discord server

The Ever Expanding List of Inspirations:
Anzel's Memoirs of a Royal Guard and Secrets of a Royal Guard
Bpkyle777's Past, Present, and Future
ChroniclerOfFantasies's King of Queens
Crensler's To Know Hell and Finding Artemis
DanishDash's At Your Service
Darkwing Dust's Crystal Soul
dj_neon_lights' A DJ in the Night
Hilord17's The Anomaly in a Mare’s World
Hiver's New Beginnings and all of its sequels
Ice Star's All That Lingers
Irrespective's The Harem Noses, No Nose Knows, and This Nose Knows
KKSlider's Changing Expectations
Kotushk Fier's Nocturnality and With a Shine in His Eyes
Krystl_Fae’s The Son of Infinity
kudzuhaiku's The Sun Also Surprises and The Perilous Romance of Swans
Lightning Ace's The Humble Prince
MisterEdd's Shattering a Heart of Darkness
Pen Dragon's Gems I: The Sun Princess and its sequel
PinkiePieFox's Shimmering Night
RadBunny's Timeless and A Brush With Fate
Scibe of the Nightwings' Interruption and Intervention and Admiration and Admission
SilverWind102's The New Guy
Tallfry's One Bolt, Many Questions
ThatWritingDragon's A Dusk’s New Dawn
The Boss's Coming out of it...
TheEighthDayofNight's The Centurion Project
Thule117's Guardian
Urimas Ebonheart's Warframe: Equestria
wishcometrue's With the Thought of Us
Zoshe's Return of the Ancient Mage

First Featured: 5/3/22
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And again on 11/5/22:
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And AGAIN on 1/18/23:
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Here I am, thrown in as a changling Queen far before the Canterlot invasion, watch as I- A: make my whole race terrified of me B: overthrow a changeling god! C: die, a lot. D: all of the above.

What do you think?

.....wait a minute.

(Open for new cover art)

Equestria is still picking up the pieces after the defeat of Tirek, and everypony is helping out with the paperwork, even Rainbow Dash. Things change when Princess Celestia arrives, bringing with her a letter with some very stunning accusations of the exploits of a resident in the town of Oasis. Now, the main six are tasked with finding out if the letter was truth or fiction. Did this Mister Baker really do what they claim? Only one way to find out.

However, Mister Baker is not who, or what they expected.

Rated Teen for occasional language. Additional tags added for more dark themes.

Proof read and edited by the amazing SunnyPack , Snakeskin Ducktape, and Tyrannosaurus Tux.

This story is a sequel to A Dangerous Sparkle

Applejack has returned from her Everglow adventure with magic all her own. Magic that her little sister and friends want to investigate. What could go wrong when the Apple family falls far from the tree without Twilight to rely on?

They will have to learn to fight as a unit with magic they've only just begun to understand, but Applejack won't be pleased if she allows harm to come to the younger foals in her care. What's a mare to do when she has to foalsit in the middle of a potential battlefield?

Link to character sheets: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxUh1iVHP4kiUzBCTk14bVhsalU/view?usp=sharing

Promises made were promises never kept by Austin, a habit he sustained along with a lifetime of laziness from a life of few worries. A life that received a harsh wake-up call and demanded a re-evaluation after a family tragedy. His immediate family in tatters and disarray, Austin is placed in a position of responsibility he never had the chance to prepare for. The easy life he knew is gone, now he must own up to his past failures and pledge a promise to his remaining family of absolute devotion.

A pledge he is determined to fulfill or would have had there not been a pair of keen eyes watching from beyond space and time. Displaced from all he knew and believed, stripped of everything but his name, confused beyond all measures and dumped within a world of impossibilities, insanity, and familiarity by an entity beyond reason or understanding, Austin is forced to forge his path within this world of fiction if he is to ever have any hope of returning, and he is not sparing any caution, effort, or opportunity to do so.

Regardless of the entity's intentions, ponies pleas, or whether this is the providence of a fate set in stone, Austin is determined to return to Earth, to home, and damned be all who dare jeopardize his promise and family.

Hello viewers, this will be quite the journey I'm about to embark upon, so many unknowns and errors bound to be posted but I will try my hardest to smooth them all out and deliver a story of quality. If you believe that certain tags that would fit the story should be added once more chapters are out, feel free to point them out. here is a small spoiler if you wish to know where this beginning is set which is a month after the season 6 final.

Biiiiiiiiiiiig thank you to LittleTigress for the Cover art.

Ayo! First feature. 4/30/22.

All Twilight Sparkle wanted was a nice teatime with Starswirl, her idol. And then Trixie Lulamoon had to show up, cast a spell, and rip yet another hole in space-time.

This is becoming distressingly common...

Part of the Anarchyverse.

Now has a reading by the Poniverse channel. Super-special thanks for doing me such a kindness!

Now has a Russian translation by GrandCat!

Rainbow Dash is many things. Mainly awesome. But romantic, certainly not. Of all the ponies who would attempt a forbidden romance, nopony would have thought she would.

Now she finds herself head over hooves in love with a mortal enemy of the country. On top of that, she has to face the one group of ponies she's terrified of rejecting her new found romance: her best friends.

[Tales of the Carnageverse]

Note: This story was created as a prompt from the RD Random Shipping Game. The game required you to roll a dice and depending on the number, you would then write a 100-500 word ship with a corresponding character. I got number 13 which was a male changeling. The rest of the story is a continuation from the prompt.

Cover Art: The Maiah

Editors: DemonRykuKyuubi, mikemeiers, Cerulean Starlight.